Dear Hillary,
I never thought I would have to write to someone like you, but I’m here from the UK to look after my old father (he’s almost 80) and is, I thought, living on his own in Pattaya. When I spoke to him from England I got the impression that he was still pining for my late mother who died just over 12 months ago, but when I got here that seems to be nothing like the true situation. I find that he is going to girly bars at night and I have seen them fondling him in a most indiscreet manner. It’s worse than that, because he often brings one of them home. What can he possibly do at his age? Do you agree that a man of his age (and a retired civil engineer too) should not be handling himself in this way? I find it disgusting, and my mother would be horrified if she knew just what depravity he is up to now she has passed on. I would like your advice on how I get him to stop this sort of thing, as I am sure you will be just as disgusted at this type of behavior being shown by someone who used to be a loving husband to my late mother and father to me. My mother used to handle him OK until she got sick. Is it a medical problem, do you think?
Antoinette
Dear Antoinette,
No my dear, it is not a medical problem, it is a daughter problem. However, I do not understand your saying that he has been “handling himself in this way” when in the sentence before you give me to believe that he is being more than adequately handled by others! You should be pleased that your 80 year old father is still showing signs of life and share in his enjoyment of it. Life is for living, no matter what age you are. Time for you to lighten up, Petal. If your father is not asking to be looked after in a ‘wifely’ way, you should not presume to do it. If you want to do something for your father in a constructive fashion get him a medical check up and a packet of Vitamin V if he is medically fit enough, though it sounds like he is more than up to it already.
