Broken resolutions

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Dear Hillary,

We’re right into 2012 already and I reckon 90 percent of the New Year resolutions will have been broken by now.  I was going to give up the beer, but that didn’t last past January 2.  What about you, Hills old bean?  What resolutions did you make and break?

Thomas

Dear Thomas,

A little less of the “Hills old bean” if you don’t mind, Petal.  Yes I have already broken a New Year’s resolution too – and that was to ignore stupid, crass and senseless people like you for the whole 12 months.  I only lasted a week, and here I am with sparks flashing from my eyes as I reply to your drivel.  I am going to make myself write out 100 times “I will not respond to rubbish letters.  I will not respond to rubbish letters.  I will not respond to rubbish letters.  I will not respond to rubbish letters.”  Whew, four down, only 96 to go…