Dear Hillary,
I’m in a bit of a spot here, as it seems that my wife’s Thai family believes in ‘give and take’ with them doing all the taking, while I do all the giving. The association has been mutually beneficial, with me enjoying her company and the attentiveness for which Thai women are so famous. I am from the UK and I know what I left back in the home country. I was a widower, and certainly had no mutually beneficial relationships, and not much likely to find one either. When I came here, I just couldn’t believe my luck. All these attentive young women who seemed to enjoy my company. It seems that the famous Thai attentiveness comes at a price. You get nothing for nothing but these women here make you forget this. They think they deserve a free ride in life, but nothing in life is free, is it? It certainly isn’t free for me. I can see myself being cleaned out in the next few months, and the British pension stays the same while the cost of living goes up. What’s your recommendation Hillary? Go under or cut and run while I can?
George
Dear George,
While the Thai society expects that the husband “gives” everything to the wife for her family, that is not your idea of the relationship, is it, Petal? As you say, you want a more equal ‘give and take’. Your thoughts and feelings are not being met here. You are in a relationship involving your Thai wife and himself. This does not mean that you have to forget your own roots and ideas. What you and your Thai wife have to do is to work out between you what you, as a couple, want to do. This is not a one-sided arrangement as you would appear to be having at present. George, you should have learned all about this side of Thai life before entering into a fixed relationship. However, all is not lost. The very first thing you have to do is to sit down with your wife and discuss the family finances, and by “family” I mean you and she. You have a fixed income as a British pensioner, and between the pair of you work out how much is put aside for your living expenses as a couple, and then you will see what you can afford to give to your wife’s Thai family. If you cannot come to an agreement, I’d be on the next bus out of town.
