Dear Hillary,
I have grown particularly fond of a charming young lady from Pattaya. We exchange email across the globe on a regular basis in which she tells me how handsome, loveable and understanding I am. Yesterday I received a mail from her explaining that she was in a real spot of bother because she is sick and can no longer work. This has led to her being unable to pay her rent. Now although she doesn’t like doing so, she has requested that I send her some money, and she has given me the bank details of a charitable young Thai gentleman who has offered to marshal my transactions for her. I immediately went out and auctioned all my possessions and have withdrawn my savings from a high interest account. I was wondering Oh Helpful Hillary if you could a) tell me the most tax efficient method of transferring my funds to my Tilac, and b) if you would consider running some sort of charitable event to help her in her moment of plight?
Generous Graham
Dear GG,
What an amazing coincidence, your initials remind me of a horse, and probably the back end of it too, my precious Petal. A tax efficient method for funds transfer would be to just send everything in cash to the kind young Thai gentleman, who I am sure will be conversant on how to not pay tax on the windfall, so you can rest assured that whatever your Tilac gets has been tax free, less handling, freight, banking, grafting, slicing off the top and passing under the table and other minor charges against the sum which the young man in question will have had to impose. Unfortunately for your Tilac the only charitable events Hillary runs are for the Preservation of Champagne and Chocolates Foundation, of which Hillary is the proud patron. By the way, in your letter you didn’t mention the name of your Tilac. Her surname isn’t Pisinurai, is it?
