Dear Hillary,
If I remember right, this is your birthday, or at least round about now (July) as I was over in your neck of the woods last year at this time and was bitten by a wild dog and had to get shots and everything just in case of rabbits diseases, that’s why I remember it good, but the getting bitten wasn’t any fun at all, so what did you get in the birthday stocking? Same as last year or something different? If I get over again I’ll bring you something, as long as you don’t have a dog there at the Pattaya Mail, as I don’t want to get all those injections again, I was a right pin cushion by the time the nurses had finished with me, never again, I tell you, anyway, all the best for your birthday and I hope you got some real good stuff and all.
Jack
Dear Jack,
Phew! I’m exhausted just reading your letter, Petal. It is about time you learned to throw in the occasional full stop now and again so the reader can draw a breath. Sorry to hear you got on the wrong side of a soi dog’s molars, but obviously the shots stopped the rabies (rabies, darling, not rabbits).
No, we don’t employ dogs at the Pattaya Mail, though some of the people I see hanging around look a little doubtful. I hope that this year I get more than I got last year, thank you for asking. I think I got a Mars bar and a cup of coffee. This year, with just a little subtle prompting, I hope to get some champers and chockies. After all, I’m 18, just like the paper!
