Dear Hillary,
I do feel very sorry for your friend, George. I’m in a similar situation too. I was shocked when I discovered that my girlfriend, who I thought was faithful to me after going with me for nearly a year, had a boyfriend on the side for many months and I didn’t have a clue about it. I worked in a neighboring country and saw her every few weeks for a few days. In between she was seeing the other man, and although we were in contact a few times every day, she somehow could give me the impression that everything was fine. She could even fly to another country to meet that guy for a few days each time. It was so surreal. When I discovered it, she promised to cut off all contact with him, and to give her one more chance. But she never did. There were still some secret messages although she never met him again. But the trust was gone. Even recently I suspect although I cannot prove it, that they are still in contact. I’m still with her, but I cannot really trust her completely even now. I don’t know what to do either. This is a case of cheating me too many times, and it’s really shame on me. If I ever discover her indiscretion one more time, I will walk out. Definitely
Dear Definitely,
You are not in a good situation, my Petal. You are going to have to work out whether you are continuing in this relationship because it means a lot to you, or whether it is just too much trouble to look for somebody new. Your relationship is not very long either at about a year, and the other chap was just a few months. It would seem to me that there is a financial aspect to all this, and you may be subsidizing the other fellow, or perhaps even the other way round. Who paid for the plane fares, for example? I would suggest extreme caution, Petal. I think you haven’t sat down with your cheating lady and thrashed all this out, especially since you think they may still be in contact with each other. Don’t be played for a sucker. I would suggest you put on your walking boots.
