Dear Hillary,
Is that Tim guy for real, who wrote in asking how to transfer big wads of money to his ever-faithful sweetheart? He has fallen into the Thai trap of bringing everything back to financial terms. “You love me? Give me 20,000 baht. You really, really love me? Give me 40,000 baht. You love me forever? Give me 100,000 baht!” Relationships are not based on money, but on trust and that wonderful emotion called love. Not infatuation, which is the bar girl’s stock in trade. These old dudes start believing the lies that this 18 year old has fallen in love with him, so “just send me some money honey and I’ll leave the bar and go back to the village and wait for you coming next year.” So the infatuated dork sends the money over to his “sweetheart”, so that she doesn’t have to spend her nights going to bed with the endless supply of old losers like him. Hillary, you did try and warn him, but I think you should have just told him to stop being an idiot and wake up to himself. Remember, “You can take a girl out of the bar, but you can’t take the bar out of the girl!”
Telling it straight
Dear Telling it straight,
I think you are being a bit hard on Tim, my Petal. There have been many relationships between bar girls and older “sponsors” which have worked well for both parties. The problem is getting the Tims of this world to understand that it is a two-way street. She gets the benefit of an income, while he gets the benefit of the company of a lovely young girl. That works well for foreigners living here, but I don’t think it works as well for the ones living overseas and coming over for their three week holiday each year. It really is asking too much of the girl that she gives up all opportunities of gaining money for the other 11 months 1 week. Would you? If there is money to be made, then why not? Even 100,000 baht a month does not guarantee faithfulness, when the relationship is only based on money, I agree. And always remember, “You can lead horse to drink, but you can’t make it water!”
