Dear Hillary,
I see that awful Nairod person mentioned you in his comic strip. You’d think by now he would have given it away. So I suppose you have to give him an E for Effort if nothing else. Do you get many unwanted suitors, Hillary, or is Nairod just the last one?
Jeremy
Dear Jeremy,
Thank you for your concern, and I have to say that “suitors” are a bit thin on the ground just now. I know it is nothing to do with my occasional temper outbursts, but honestly Petal it would take someone with the patience of a saint to put up with some of the nonsense that gets put on my desk. It’s a shelf really and I have to stand in beside the filing cabinet. Never mind what gets put on my desk, it’s enough of a trial just working here. All this I put up with, just to help you folk out there. And I haven’t been sent any chocolates or fizz-water either. I have stopped asking for champagne as by the time they have bought the paper, they’re skint for the rest of the week. My readers do not appear to be well strung (I almost wrote something naughty there), so I forgive them. I don’t forgive the editor chap though. Reads my every word, comma and full stop (some people call it a ‘period’ but I don’t for obvious reasons). The less I give him to whinge about the better. Oops, lost track of what I was on about there, it’s the age you know. After you pass 40 it’s a downhill ride from there. And without chocolate, I just seem to lose my get up and go. It’s more like get up and gone these days. But I shouldn’t complain. The MD does send a couple of bowls of rice each day up to the attic. It’s not really an office. It’s about the size of a loo and there’s not even room to sit down (note spelling, no “h”). I wrote this on a Sunday. Yes, Sunday Mr Editor just to try and keep you happy. And please wash your hands, that printer’s ink leaves black handprints everywhere. The office girl said she’s got to wear black leggings these days so the ink doesn’t show. (I can’t vouch for this as she’s a bit of a sexy creature, but at 48 years of age she’s past it anyway. Probably just wishful thinking.)
