Dear Hillary,
Like so many “elder statesmen” from the UK I have settled down here in Pattaya with a Thai lady many years my junior. Our association has been mutually beneficial, with me enjoying her company and the attentiveness for which Thai women are so famous, while I have helped her family out, including educating her two children from a previous marriage. We have been together four years now, but the requests for assistance have been getting more and more every month. It appears that every cousin, sister, brother are putting demands on my lady, and she just hands over whatever they ask for. I give her a monthly allowance, but that is gone in a few days as she gives it away to the “needy” relatives. If I had a huge bank account I would not mind so much, but I am living (and supporting people) on a UK pension in addition to the interest from my meager savings account. I do know that the Thai people value the family ties much more than we do, but surely there has to be a line drawn somewhere, Hillary. What do you say? Should I put my foot down and say no more? You will understand my position here.
George
Dear George,
First it’s Generous Graham and now its Generous George. I do understand your predicament and I applaud your taking the education of your lady’s children as being your responsibility. You are also correct when you say that Thai families do look after the members in it, but the main direction is upwards, towards the parents. Most Thais will send money “home” every month to help support those left “at home”. Having been with your lady for four years you should be able to sit down and discuss the problem with her. Only by talking will you get over this hurdle, and it can be a high jump for someone who is obviously thought of as a family “cash cow” my Petal. My suggestion would be to arrange regular payment each month to the parents and everything else be subject to discussion between the pair of you before any money leaves your account. When it become a little more difficult to milk the cow, the buffalo will come to look after itself!
