Dear Hillary,
Having been married to a Thai for about 10 years and seen many other relationships between Farang and Thais, here are my 5 pieces of advice:
– Her family – are her priority and probably the reason she is with you – supporting them, putting a brother through university etc. They will always be her priority, you will never be. Get used to it!
– Money – agree a monthly allowance with her to cover ALL her expenses. These include the accidents that seem to happen to rice-growing families from Isaan – “mama fall down well”, “brother crash motorbike into buffalo” etc etc. Also, if she wants to buy land or build a house, she can save up from her allowance.
– Her friends – will adore you and laugh at all your jokes (however boring you are) as long as you keep buying the food, beer and Thai whisky.
– Never, repeat never put anything in her name – not the house, the condo, the car, the motorbike or even the dog. Once it’s hers, it’s no longer yours even though you have paid for it.
– Age difference – if you’re 65 and she’s 20, then this is probably not going to work, though the first few weeks might be fun. The usual rule of thumb is to divide your age by 2 and then add 10.
Hope this helps.
David
Dear David,
What your five pieces of advice really comes down to is really a Pre-nuptial agreement. Now, while Pre-nups are big in the States, they are not so common here. And there is the problem for farangs that any agreement such as a Pre-nup must be written in Thai, the legal language in Thailand. There is also the problem in getting her to abide by the rules, especially where it means she has to pay for something. It is amazing just how many wells there are to fall down in a rice paddock. And she spent her allowance last month on vet’s bills. A straight out financial agreement has every good chance of becoming an NPL. Some good advice there, Petal, but can they be agreed upon?
