Wife wanted – apply within

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Dear Hillary,

I want to get married again next year.  I have been married before, but to an American woman, and that finished a few years ago, and almost finished me bank account as well.  Now that I have found Thailand, I come over for a couple of months three times a year, so there’s plenty of time to get to know someone.  What is the best way to go about finding my next wife?  The bars certainly make it easy to get to know someone, and there are some stunners working there.  I know you warn us about the girls from the bars, but what is the alternative?

Don the Divorcee

Dear Don the Divorcee,

It may have cost you money in the US to get unhitched, Don, but don’t think that everything in Thailand is “free”.  I can assure you that it is not.  The girls from the bars are professionals in keeping men happy in their own delusions, but there is always a rude awakening when the girl becomes tired of it.  Some extra money pumped into the relationship will get it steaming along fine again – for a while – until a financial top-up becomes necessary again.  Bar girl relationships are business dealings, my Petal, and are based on that.  Marriages should be based on love, physical and mental attraction and a desire to make the relationship permanent and strong.

So what is the alternative to a bar?  Exactly the same as in the US, Petal.  You join common interest clubs and associations, you keep an eye out for someone who pulls your string, be that in a restaurant, bank or dental surgery.  Finding a ‘mate’ is not accomplished by taking the easy way – ‘easy’ bar girls who are ready to please, ending up in a union based on your wallet, that’s all.

Forget this idea that you want to get married next year.  If the right woman comes along you could even get married this year.