Dear Hillary,
This is a food problem, but you are the only one I can think of who can get me through this very trying period in my life. It’s a sort of mid-life food crisis if you like. My new teerak is wonderful in every way – except kitchen duties, and I don’t mean washing up, I’m quite happy to do that myself. When she came aboard the Good Ship Jackson she said she could cook and she would keep me well and healthy with her expertise with the wok. I her favor, yes she can cook in the wok, against that is the fact that the food is inedible and even the soi dogs give it a miss. I have heard Isaan cooking (that’s where she’s from) described as trees and weeds with no nutritional value, and that’s why they need to eat every two hours or even less. Anyway, I can’t eat it, that green watery stuff with the odd bone floating in it. What do I do?
Jack
Dear Jack,
We must do something urgently my Petal before you waste away to a shadow. What you didn’t tell me was how long you’ve had the live-in cook? If this is a new appointment at Good Ship Jackson, it is not too difficult to point the barge in the right direction. Just tell her what you want to eat and give her a cook book, with the edible items marked in red. All new cooks should be on a three month trial period anyway. But if she’s a fixture, it may take quite a bit of retraining. Remember that her mother taught her to cook, and it wasn’t Eggs Benedict either. What you have to do is take her to some of the better Thai restaurants and show her what you can eat and what you can’t eat. Offer to buy her the aforesaid cook book and go from there! Best of luck, Petal.
