With endless lists of banned leisure pursuits and threats of fines of 100,000 baht, plus a year in an uncomfortable Thai jail, things ain’t what they used to be in Fun City. Mostly, the government is having its way. All the obvious and now shuttered pleasure domes – Walking Street, Sexy Soi 6, L.K. Metro, etc. – look more like Sodom and Gomorrah after God’s punishment than in their heyday as wealthy salt exporters.
The residual population of Pattaya is now reduced to expats who are past the first, or even second, bloom of youth and Thais who either can’t or won’t quit to return to “the village”. This rather curious expression seems to refer to your birthplace, invariably hundreds of miles away, where people are impatiently waiting to welcome you. So the question arises how everyone still in Pattaya is spending their time in a period when, we are told, there is neither a curfew nor a lockdown. Even so, it certainly feels like there are both.
The main loophole is food because you can eat in a cafe until 9 pm and get a take-away until 11 pm. Social media has gone crazy on the farang-orientated meal options still available. The Breakfast Club Pattaya daily goes into photographic ecstasy about where to find the biggest fried breakfast, or discover that superb apple pie and custard to rival what your mother used to make. Stomachs are one of Pattaya’s best selling points.
Of course, if you eat out there’s a strict booze ban. Because Thailand is an informer-friendly society, the established restaurants know the dangers of deviance. The exceptions might be the smaller cafes in dark streets. We were offered a glass of wine in a tea cup in an eatery not from Tukcom where one customer was startlingly drinking from a Chang beer bottle. However, he explained he had brought it with him as it contained an anti-acid mixture for his stomach ulcer.
Freedom still ranges on the beaches. Unlike previous anti-Covid measures, the current regulations permit use of the sands as well as swimming in the sea for exercise and recreation. Social mixing and picnicking are outlawed and the wearing of masks deemed compulsory. This message hasn’t fully got through to the after-dark beach lovers. Sitting in small groups and chatting mask-less on Jomtien sea front reflects the truism that people feel bolder once the sun has gone down. Police patrols are fewer too.
You can’t enjoy a massage, but it is ok you have your hair cut. Although “beauty parlors” were outlawed at the outset, barber shops and hairdressers were not pinpointed and seem to have been excused by the authorities. If you are lucky, you might even manage to have a shave, an ear cleaning, a hair dye or a corn removal. One business which performed all these services did nonetheless insist you entered your name and number in a manual log before sitting or lying down. Just in case.
Massage parlours were ordered shut by government order, although many had already folded because of a shortage of customers in preceding months. One unusual venue, just off Soi Buakow, carried a small notice that they were sorry Covid-19 had closed them down, but added a phone number in case you needed further information. The volunteer manning the phone was called Soapy.
Another no-go area is live entertainment. A bar, not far from the Jomtien Night Market, was lit up and hosted three farang customers and their ladies all sipping non-alcoholic drinks. However, the TV was tuned to a Korean boy band channel which helped to brighten up an otherwise funeral-like setting. When we asked the bar lady if there was any danger in playing the music, she replied if anyone complained, or if the police arrived, she switched the channel to CNN.
Lastly, on a brighter note, don’t forget that cannabis was made legal for certain purposes just before the latest crackdown on entertainment. So you can legally use ganja for serious medical issues and to improve your health and humour in non-alcoholic drinks and food, provided the person selling you the stuff is registered with the correct government agency. But smoking pot is still powerfully illegal. If you get caught and deported, you’ll be distressingly barred from returning to Fun City. For life.
