Editor;
What can stop a nervous but happy groom from attending his marriage celebrations?
Bangkok traffic can. What was to be a 1 ½ hour drive turned into 3 solid hours of despair, transpiration and depression. My wife is a good driver, but that doesn’t help when you are hopelessly stuck in traffic, moving at the average pace of 15km per hour at best. I tried not to look at my good friend Lars. The silence in the car said it all. We were going to catch the one and only flight to Sakon Nakhon, to attend the Buddhist ceremony at 7 o’clock sharp the next morning. Mr Lars kept his calm, or perhaps he was in a trance. Ehum, do you have a plan B? Not the most stupid question in my life, but close. At this stage we were sitting upright as if it made the car go faster. We made it – at least we thought so – but where to park? My wife did the pocket parking of her life, and the rest was running the stairs and through corridors.
We checked in with 4 minutes to go. Hey, what we do now. Like 4 minutes would be an eternity. That was my second stupid question of the day. A quick look at the nervous wreck next to me, told me it was beer time.
Both Lars and I are veterans in marriages. These horrific, expensive, time consuming events where you have to be mentally and physically at your best – because the gruesome truth is that you are the center of the insanity. You have to perform and look good, which is a thought that is growing in you, and finally take completely over, becoming a monster in your brain.
Why couldn’t we just have gone to that office and signed some papers? No Mr. Lars, this is to honor the beautiful bride, her family and most of all show them you are a man. Something like that must have gone through the nervous groom’s brain – judging from his somewhat unusual pose, bending forward with his head between his hands for the entire flight. Not easy, with seatbelts on. Anyway, luckily we did the hardest landing ever – (without breaking the undercarriage) that could have woken up even the dead. We were in Sakon Nakhon.
Mr. Lars seemed to come to life, and when Peng arrived to pick us up, we sort of slipped into a relaxing mode. This incredible girl was still looking fresh and going strong, after what I could guess must have been almost a week of endless preparations. Even the car was decorated. She had gone to bed at 3 o’clock that morning. The girls went for a briefing, while Lars and I got the permission to do nothing, which translated into some rather nasty whiskies. Thank you Buddha.
The inevitable happened as the sun came up. I noticed my nice black pants, that I last used in my own (Chinese) wedding, had a hole from a cigarette burn. Disaster, but after arriving at Peng’s house – my self confidence reappeared after seeing all the other guests in t-shirts and “come as you are” outfits. Indescribable bunch of nice and down to earth people.
It was early morning, but beers on the table, and the whole house decorated like a temple. It all started with the unmistakable sound of the monks. Point of no return Mr. Lars. It was a ceremony never before seen. To go into details would be longer than this story itself, but here is the essence; only Thais can sit on the floor for hours on their knees or with legs crossed. It’s an art that we foreigners do not master. Despite cramps in both legs, it was the most beautiful ceremony I have ever seen, and it was genuine. Parents accepting the groom, monks blessing us and we all got waist bands (actually a thin rope) for good luck. It became too emotional for the groom, and the production of adrenalin took over, resulting in severe shaking. Not easy, when you are supposed to hang a gold necklace around the bride’s neck. Lars went for the easy solution; just force it down over her head. Needless to say that was a fiasco, so it had to be the traditional way, opening the lock – and then lock it again as soon as it was in place. Miraculously he managed at his 6th attempt. If you would have given Mr. Lars a cup of coffee at that point, he would not have been able to drink it, as it would all have ended up on the wall.
Then it was the casual aftermath with all these nice people of all categories enjoying the moment and the nice morning. I started to get desperate for some liquid, and grabbed a bottle of water. Peng noticed, and came to my rescue with a beer. That’s how she is by the way; mysteriously efficient and responsible. From that point onwards, nothing could stop me. I started to really enjoy the company of all these odd people, and the wedding as a whole. Go for it guys, what’s next? We had some breathing space before that session, which was a marvelous dinner party at a really nice restaurant somewhere in the bush.
Aha, a big stage with huge loudspeakers, microphones and the whole shebang – including 2000 watt lights. Just down in my third beer, something caught my eye. Mr. Lars was at the stage with Peng, probably to thank for the bride or something. He must have been taken up there by force. Just looking out at the sea of people is scary enough. Microphone in his hand and light in his face, but nothing came out. It suddenly dawned upon me, that I was his best man. Rescue under way. Probably the fastest speech I have made in my life, while jogging up to the stage, but not difficult (it was more difficult when Lars married the same girl for the second time). Lars has a big heart was an appropriate beginning. We got away with it. Huh, then it was the rest of the dinner while trying to figure out how to stop the dancing party which had evolved into an odyssey of happy Thais. I was throwing down GT’s as if they were going out of fashion. My big concern was that Lars had to say something after all, so I invented this game between us, whereby the winner would be the one that could say the most Thai words. It got very short as you can imagine, as we only know 5 words each, but mission accomplished. We were on the stage, and Lars grabbed the microphone – loud and clear he was thanking everybody, including Buddha. Amen.
Then we had to go back to the hotel, and discuss how that really happened. Early next morning the strong desire for a cold beer came upon us. We were not flying before late afternoon, so what. These cans are too small, so we added up a few, while my wife had to go “for a walk”. Peng, smiling as usual woke me up at the airport. You are here, go check in.
Thanks for a fantastic experience Lars and Peng, and it is definitely the beginning of forever.
Tor
