Family Money: Ex-rated movements

By Leslie Wright

Last week we looked at how currency movements can affect your investments.

If you invest your capital in one currency into equities valued in another currency, you stand to make a profit if your own currency depreciates against the other one, even if your chosen stock moves sideways (i.e., neither gains nor loses.)

This scenario is relatively easy to follow, even if widely misunderstood.

Things become far more complex (and hence more difficult to grasp) when you invest capital accumulated in one currency into an institutional fund denominated (i.e., priced) in a second currency, which itself is dealing in bonds or equities in a country which uses a third currency, and you need to draw down an income from that investment to cover local expenditure in yet a fourth currency - say, Thai baht.

The single country scenario

To illustrate this in its simplest form, you might, for instance, be investing your pounds sterling into a dollar-denominated Thailand stock market fund, which, as can easily be surmised from its name, is holding a basket of shares bought on the SET in Thai baht.

In this scenario the movement of the dollar against the Thai baht is cancelled out, and the significant currencies (as far as you are concerned) are just sterling and baht.

If the SET goes up (or rather, the fund’s component shares do) and the exchange rate remains the same, you make a profit in both sterling and/or baht.

Similarly, if the fund’s price remains the same but the Thai baht strengthens against sterling you still make a profit in sterling terms (although not in baht when the sterling value is converted back should you then remit your sterling over here; again, the currency movement has been cancelled out.)

Thus if you were investing sterling or dollars or whatever into Thailand funds and then remitting the proceeds back into Thailand, the currency movements have all been cancelled out in local terms, and the amount of baht you receive would approximate to the movement of the local investment.

But this is a unique situation.

The multi-currency scenario

If you had similarly invested pounds sterling into a dollar-denominated Japanese equity fund, and upon selling up, planned to remit the proceeds to Thailand, you’d have to consider not only the price movement of the fund (which would inherently reflect both the rise or fall of the underlying Japanese equities and movement of the Yen against the dollar), but also the relative strength of $/ฃ and ฃ/baht.

What you thought was a profit may in fact be a loss masked by relative currency movements.

You may at this point be imagining how complex the exercise becomes if your chosen fund is investing throughout a region such as Asia, Europe, or even globally, where a multiplicity of currencies may be involved.

How many currencies would you need to watch then?

In fact, the answer is really the same as for the rather simpler Japanese Equity fund (i.e., a single-country fund) in the example above.

The movements of individual component stocks and the movements of the various currencies involved will be reflected in the overall price movement of the fund in question, expressed in a single currency.

This makes the real value of your international holdings considerably simpler to translate into your base currency (if this is different from the currency the fund is denominated in) than if you had placed the investments directly into the underlying stocks.

Then you would indeed have to track not only the stock movements but also the pertinent currencies - a laborious, time-consuming and potentially confusing exercise which most amateur investors are not in a position to undertake.

Hedging the currency risk?

Just to muddy the water a little more, you may elect to invest into a diversified portfolio comprising several such funds.

You may then be dealing with perhaps three or four currencies - dollars, sterling, Euros, deutschmarks, Swiss Francs and perhaps even yen.

But the exercise of establishing the real worth in terms of your base currency of such a diversified portfolio is only slightly more laborious than keeping tabs on the single-country exercise (the Japanese equity fund) cited earlier.

You simply convert the value of each fund into your base currency (or any other single currency you may be interested in) at the prevailing relative exchange rate, to have an overall picture of your portfolio’s real value in your ‘favourite’ currency.

Many people believe that holding a diversified portfolio of funds denominated in various currencies provides an automatic currency hedging mechanism which can be useful in removing exchange-rate fluctuation risk.

Similarly, some investors who believe the Euro will strengthen against, say, sterling think that holding a fund denominated in Euros will enable them to make a gain on this movement.

In fact, they are deluding themselves, and demonstrate a common misunderstanding.

The fact that one currency gains against another does not increase the fundamental value of the component holdings within a particular fund, nor vice versa.

Fundamental value is the key

For instance, consider just one stock within an equity fund.

If its price moves sideways (i.e., no gain or loss) and the denomination of the fund is different from the currency the stock is valued in, the stock’s value in terms of the denominated currency will have moved inversely to the currency movement.

As this concept is where the misunderstanding stems from, let me explain.

Stock A is priced in French francs but the fund holding it is priced in Euros. If the Euro strengthens against the French franc, but the stock price in FF remains unchanged, its value in Euros will have decreased by the same amount that the Euro has strengthened against the French franc.

So if the investor holding the fund bought his units originally with sterling, at first guess he may think he’s made money.

However, if sterling has not moved upwards along with the Euro, but maintained its exchange rate with the French franc, he may well be initially disappointed to find that his fund’s unit value has dropped (being priced in now-more valuable Euros), and confused when he translates that value into sterling to find that his sterling value is exactly the same as it was before the Euro gained strength!

To make money from this particular scenario would in fact require sterling to have depreciated against the French franc; and what the Euro did in this scenario is entirely irrelevant to a sterling investor.

And this same argument applies to any other intermediary currency.

Arbitrary denomination?

I am frequently asked why many funds investing into Europe (or Asia) are denominated (i.e., priced) in US dollars.

The simple answer is that the fund’s assets have to be valued in something just to establish what units in the fund are worth on the international market.

A pan-European fund could just as well be valued in deutschmarks (some are) or Euros (some are) or Swiss francs (some are).

But the underlying assets - i.e., the stocks & shares that make up the fund - are of course bought and sold in the prevailing local currency.

In the case of a pan-European fund this will mean that some component stocks will be traded in Italian lira, French francs, Spanish pesetas, Danish kroner, Dutch guilders, and so on - as well as the deutschmarks or Swiss francs that the overall fund is valued in.

But to simplify matters for investors, the fund’s value - and therefore price - is expressed in a single currency.

Whether this is in dollars, deutschmarks, Swiss francs or Euros is indeed somewhat arbitrary, but is simply to indicate what the net asset value (or “NAV”) of the fund is - and hence its unit price - in terms that an investor can comprehend at a glance and without onerous calculations.

This price can then be evaluated in terms of his base currency (which may be the same as or different from the denomination of the fund in question), and he can see whether he has made a real profit or not, both as regards the price he originally paid for it in his base currency, and what it is really worth now, either in that same currency or any other he may now be concerned with - such as Thai baht.

So when planning to buy or sell units in a fund which is priced in a currency other than your base currency, and plan to remit the proceeds of that investment at some later stage to Thailand, you won’t necessarily be taking a bath in baht.

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments.

The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

From: Claus Jorgensen, Laem Chabang: I am using Easy Acc accounting software and wonder if there is a way to get the workstations to share a network printer.

Computer Doctor replies: From my experience with this product, it does not coexist comfortably within a Windows environment. That said, it is possible to get some but not all functions to respond over the network. It is necessary to make these changes to the printer settings though. Open the Printer Settings, then select the Details Tab, click the Port Settings button and then uncheck the Spool MS DOS Print Jobs and Check Port State Before Printing boxes.

It is often more practicable, though, to set up a second instance of the printer for use by Easy Acc which is put through either a manual or automatic switch box. The original instance remaining unchanged for traditional network use.

From Peter Mitchell: A variation on a frequent topic. I am using the Spanish version of Windows 95, but by downloading Thai fonts, etc., and changing the predetermined language to US English I am able to type in Thai within Microsoft Works (not Word as in Thailand unfortunately). So far so good.

With IE5, I installed Thai text support. Within Outlook Express under Options I have changed Compose Font to DB Thai Text fixed, within Internet Explorer under Internet Options I have added Thai under Language and under Fonts changed to DB Thai Text fixed. In neither case, however, have I managed to change what I call Scandinavian vowels into Thai script. Have I omitted an important step? Any help you can provide would be appreciated.

Computer Doctor replies: I think you’ve nearly got there. I believe what you have missed is within read, changing the language to Thai and then the proportional font as DB Thai Text. Believe me it does work, I’ve had it running with many languages, including Russian. If it still doesn’t work, please let me know.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected].

Successfully Yours: Hans Tietze

by Mirin MacCarthy

It is not often you meet a 43 year old German Engineering graduate, dyed in the wool motorcycle racer who makes pies. This then is the story of Hans Tietze.

Hans is the son of a professional musician father and a gifted interpreter mother. Although raised in a medieval town, Lemgo in Germany, he was almost literally born on a motorcycle. “My father was a motorbike enthusiast too, and I was born on the saddle on my parents bike ride to Dresden in 1956.”

With such a start to life, it was not long before Hans, too, got his first bike. He was 15 years old and became the proud owner of a broken down old BSA Gold Star which cost him the equivalent of 1000 Baht. He also had to push it home, a distance of 15 kilometres. Such is the dedication of a true motorcycle enthusiast.

Hans completed his secondary education and then attended Lemgo Technical College for four years, completing a degree in Mechanical Engineering, ignoring his father’s advice to become a cook.

During his undergraduate years, he supported his motorcycle habit by driving taxis at night and cooking in an Italian restaurant at weekends. This stood him in good stead, because he soon found out after graduation that there was a glut of engineers at that time, so he ended up as the manager of a steak house and an Italian restaurant.

After three years in the restaurant business the bikes called to him again and he opened up a small motorcycle shop in Lemgo. There he fixed bikes, made fairings and sold accessories and then took the bold step of taking on a Honda Dealership.

Around this time he also became interested in body building, coming third in the German Championships in 1987. But again the bikes got in the way and he went racing. “I was too old and too big, but I went O.K.”

There was something else that attracted Hans’ eye. That was Thailand. He had been on a vacation here in 1979 and in 1989 he felt that Germany had little more to offer him, so he came back to this country.

Like so many before him have found, even though Thailand is an inexpensive place to visit, when you live here full time you can soon watch your money shrinking. Hans knew he was going to have to do something quickly. With a laugh he said, “It was either bikes or cooking.” Bikes won again and he started a big bike rental on Beach Road. After two years he found that he “got more scrap back than motorcycles” so he began looking for something new.

That turned out to be a job as a mechanical engineer in Sriracha, after bumping into a guy in a bar who told him of the opening. So finally, 14 years after he received his degree, he went to work for someone else in his mechanical engineering specialty.

The engineering has stood him in good stead, taking him around the world to Dubai, Indonesia, Malaysia, India, the Philippines and Korea. However, the economic crash in 1997 saw him again with no job or immediate prospects.

This time the choice of bikes or cooking came down on the side of cooking. Through a series of fortuitous events, his Thai wife (Ong) ended up buying all the shares of a pie business. With his knowledge and experience, Hans became a consultant for his wife’s new venture, Pie Paradise. That business is now going ahead in leaps and bounds, with Ong supplying many supermarkets as well as private orders.

With construction engineering looking up again, Hans was called back, but when he finishes his next engineering contract he is heading for the kitchen. He is planning on opening a different style of restaurant in Pattaya. Cooking will win again, though Hans does admit, “I’m too old for bikes!” He did add, however, “Bikes are like a drug. You get addicted to them.”

So what does an ex-bike racer do for a hobby? He listens to music, grooms his Persian cats and breeds tropical fish. Not what you would have imagined, but then Hans is just that little bit different, too.

He has very little regrets about his varied life. “I’ve got the best Thai girl I’ve ever met. I really wouldn’t change anything, though I probably should have listened to older people when I was young. They have more experience than you have.”

Hans sat back and thought about the last statement and then added, “You’ve got to keep your own directions and goals, too.” I have the feeling that there would not have been too many older people who could have changed his directions. Hans Tietze is very much his own man, with his fingers in many pies!

Snap Shots: Outstanding Landscapes!

by Harry Flashman

There is a tendency to become very complacent and sloppy when taking landscapes. There’s Buddha Mountain and some scrubby bushland and that’s it. Take one frame and go home. Unfortunately, taking a good landscape requires just as much thought, creative ability and visual “eye” as taking any other type of photograph. However, owing to the sheer size of it, taking landscapes can be even more difficult.

The first aspect to master is just sheer composition. The golden rule is to include some foreground interest as well as all the other items in the shot. Sharp foreground items like fence posts, bushes or even old farm equipment gives depth and scale to the photograph. The other good thing is that the foreground item will draw the eye into the picture.

It is always best to avoid putting the horizon line slap bang in the centre of the photograph, so tilt the camera to only have about 25% of the picture sky, and even experiment by making the sky 75% of the picture you see in the viewfinder.

Another very interesting variant in landscape shots is to turn your camera 90 degrees and take the landscape in the “portrait” (vertical) mode. Of course, the rule about where to place the horizon still stands!

Landscapes should also be very sharp, right the way through from the foreground to the very back of the scene. The way to ensure this is to run as small an aperture as you can. Harry recommends f16 to f22.

Now this will give you slow shutter speeds, especially in lower light situations, so this is one time where you really need your tripod. The slow shutter speed will also give you that flowing look to moving water, such as streams or rivers. Additionally it gives you an interesting and different representation of waves, again imparting a sense of movement.

Time of day is particularly important for landscapes. Early morning for that cold blue light and late afternoon for the warm glow. Get those into a landscape and you are starting to put together a good photograph.

Another little trick is not to pack up and go home as soon as the sun disappears. There is often enough light to catch some stunningly coloured different kinds of shots after sundown. You can really put in some creative flair at this time by lighting the foreground, while exposing for the rear ground. You can do this by shining your car’s headlights on the aforementioned fence posts, bushes or old farm equipment. The yellow light on the foreground item will make for a very pleasant effect.

Even when the sun’s influence has completely gone, you can still take interesting shots with just the moon as the light source. You will get an eerie atmospheric feel to shots taken that way. The exposure details are a bit “hit and miss” I’m afraid, but try taking some shots at 5 minutes time exposure. You’ll get something different, I’ll guarantee.

Even bad weather should not put you off having a go at some landscapes. On a completely foul day try putting some black and white film in the camera and see what you get. You may be very surprised with the end result. Another little wriggle is to use the flash when taking shots in the rain. You can stop the rain drops as bright splashes of light in an otherwise grey shot.

So you can see, with a little creative thought you can manipulate the final landscape images in many varied ways. Not all will be successful, but some shots will turn out to be show stoppers. Try some of these tricks this weekend.

Modern Medicine: Please help me!

by Dr Iain Corness

A colleague mentioned the other day that he had seen a TV programme on the “Power of Prayer” and did I think prayer had any part in western medicine? I omitted to say the obvious, that all doctors have at some time said inwardly, “I hope and pray this one will get better, keep breathing, pick up, stop bleeding” or similar, but instead referred him to an article I had just read in the scientific journals.

“Can Faith make you whole?” was the title and it was a well researched piece with a review of accepted western medical literature. It began with a discourse showing that conventional medical treatments were good with what the author called “war situations” - the fight against bacteria, repairing wounds and replacing damaged organs. However, the ability of western medicine in the arena of chronic disease, stress and ageing was not as good, or clear cut.

It is well known that many sufferers of chronic ailments feel that they are so poorly treated by conventional medical wisdom that they take to ‘alternative’ therapies in droves - and spend a fortune at the same time. Make no mistake - alternative medicine costs the world population billions of dollars.

Enter the “wild card” - religion. A 1995 study of 232 heart surgery patients showed that those who professed to a faith and drew comfort from it had one third the death rate of the non-believers. In 1996 the National Institute of Ageing in America, in a study of 4000 elderly people, found that those who attended religious services were less depressed and physically healthier than those who did not.

Dr. Herbert Benson of the Harvard Medical School claims that patients can overcome a number of stress related diseases by practising a simple form of meditation. He states that the act of focussing the mind reverses the effects of the harmful fight/flight stress hormones. This in turn reduces blood pressure, heart rate, muscle tension, stops insomnia and lessens pain. That’s not a bad effort for something that doesn’t require expensive pills and potions!

Dr. Benson postulates that praying works the same way by reducing stress hormones. Since stress hormones have a negative influence on your immunological defence, it can then be said that religious activities like prayer and meditation have a positive effect on the system that protects the body from infections and even cancer.

The end result of this investigation would propose that religion (and sorry, it did not matter which one!) and meditation (again, irrespective of the type or method) has a beneficial effect on the health of the believer.

The author of the review article, Sanjiva Wijesinha, finishes on the note that this beneficial effect “... is something the people in the non-western world have been aware of for a long time.” Makes you think, doesn’t it? Or even just a little bit humble.

Dear Hillary,
My mate’s girlfriend has an awful lot of facial hair. I swear that sometimes when I see her in the mornings she’s even worse than usual (we all live in the same house). My mate’s started to act a little “funny” recently too and I am worried that there is something going on that I don’t understand, or don’t want to understand. What should I do?

Harry

Dear Harry,
If you really don’t want to know, and/or can’t live with it - then move out.

Dear Hillary,
My Thai wife and I finally managed to find a nice house to rent in a nice part of town. Everything was going well till the lights went out in one room the other week. Now she says there are ghosts in the house and refuses to live in it. I have had to rent a condo to give her somewhere to sleep. Does she really believe there are ghosts in the house? Any suggestions you have will be welcomed, as I cannot keep on paying two rents and I will lose my deposit if I leave the house!

Casper

Dear Casper,
I have an overwhelming certainty that your wife does believe the house is haunted.
The only thing you can do is have the monks bless the house. Or consult a fortune teller or spirit medium if you can find one, whom you can consult and of course pay to exorcise the ghosts. Ask around among Thai friends.

Dear Hillary,
I broke up with my ex-girlfriend three months ago. I thought she took it very well and moved out with no complaint. Recently I have noticed that she has been following me. If I turn round she will go into a shop, or start talking to someone else. In the bar I go to I have found she has been asking the girls there about me too. I am getting nervous. Should I worry or will she get over it?

Steve

Dear Steve.
I would definitely be worried and watching my back. And perhaps my front as well. Perhaps a little “severance pay” might help.

Dear Hillary,
My husband has never liked Thai food. Even when we were in America and knew we were being transferred over here, he refused to try. About two months ago he had to go to Bangkok for the weekend and since then he has been going out for long lunches to have Thai food with his co-workers. He says this is important to give a sense of company spirit and solidarity. I do like Thai food, yet he never eats Thai with me at night when I want it. I don’t want to appear anxious, but should I be?

Anxious Anne

Dear Anxious,
Appear to be anything but anxious. I’m not sure if you are worried by your husband’s sudden and inconsistent change of diet or his whereabouts at lunchtimes. If it is the latter then finding out where he goes at lunch times will either allay or confirm your fears. Then you can decide what your options are. If, however, you really want him to share Thai food with you, either cook it for him yourself or go out to a Thai restaurant together.

Dear Hillary,
Is there such a thing as the Imelda Marcos Syndrome. If so, my girlfriend’s got it. Every time we go out she wants to try on new shoes (and get me to buy them too). I don’t have the Marcos millions at my disposal. Is this a usual thing with Thai women?

Ferdinand

Dear Ferdinand,
Yes there is definitely an Imelda Marcos syndrome alive and well in the breast of most Thai women. May I suggest you do not pay for any more shoes.

GRAPEVINE

Dining Out: Kinnaree

by Miss Terry Diner

Kinnaree is one of those restaurants that has only opened recently, but is already very well known to the local Thai people in Pattaya, but perhaps not as much by the ex-pats. Situated on North Pattaya Road, it is around 100 metres from the Dolphin roundabout and on the same side as City Hall. Adequate parking is also available on the side street that runs across the front of the restaurant.

It is actually a very large restaurant, with three separate enclosed dining areas, one of which is a Suki room and two brightly lit outside eateries. Heavy wooden chairs and tables are set in a semi-garden situation with planter boxes scattered strategically around. The obligatory large aquaria are outside with prawns, fish and crabs having their final swim. A surreptitious look into the kitchen area showed it to be spotlessly clean.

The main thrust is towards seafood with Sea Bass, Garoupa and Tabtim, but perusal of the menu showed that there was a healthy mix of vegetarian dishes as well a section with Isaan food. The menu itself is in Thai with English subtitles. Unfortunately, the heading on the different sections does not have an English translation, so I cannot give you the usual blow by blow menu description. However, the average dish is between 80 -150 Baht, other than the seasonal price by weight items.

Like many Thai restaurants, the beverage list is not extensive and basically covers whiskeys and large bottles of beer. They have a wine list as well, which is not bad in its range, even including a Katnook Cab Sav, but at a 1994 vintage it may have passed its prime (if indeed it is still available).

We were joined by Neera Sirisampan, the Assistant Director from the Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital, and so between the three of us we chose a Pork with Oyster sauce (120 Baht), an interesting Four Vegetables in Gravy sauce (150 Baht), Oysters and Egg Hot Plate (150 Baht) and a Steamed Chicken in Chinese wine (150 Baht).

The vegetarian dish arrived first and had broccoli, white asparagus, bok choi and fat Chinese mushrooms in the medium gravy. This was very pleasant and the asparagus was particularly succulent.

The steamed chicken is a cold dish, which was not what we had expected, but then again, perhaps it was lost in the English translation. It was actually very piquant and was madame’s favourite of the evening.

The pork dish was large, served hot, but the meat a little dried up for my liking. It came with carrots and onions and was perfectly edible without being something to write home about. In retrospect, a trifle bland.

Our last dish was brought to the table with some ceremony, as befits a sizzling hot plate. Crammed full of oysters in a bubbling sauce, with wisps of egg, cooking as we watched. Small flecks of red gave warning that this was a spicy choice. Not too hot, however, but definitely one with a bite. The oysters were plump and flavoursome and the sauce very complementary to their taste. Neera and I both gave this one the top marks of the evening.

The Kinnaree Restaurant is worthwhile adding to your seafood list and the Hot Plate Oysters are definitely worth ordering. Interesting!

Animal Crackers: Pepe Le Peu

by Mirin MacCarthy

If you do not live in America, your entire knowledge of this interesting little animal probably is restricted to the cartoon character, Pepe Le Peu. This romantic little fellow with the black and white striped tail loses all his trysts because of his bad smell. Poor Pepe!

Skunks’ real name is Maphitis mephitis, and they are carnivores. The scientific name when translated means “poisonous vapor”, so Pepe Le Peu is right on target so far.

Skunks are also true native Americans, as that is the only region of the world where they live. They are hated by some people and everyone is afraid of their ability to squirt their foul smelling spray. Let me assure you that Pepe is very accurate and can hit a bulls eye up to 4 metres away!

On either side of the anus, the skunks have two “musk” glands, each of which has an aiming nipple. When Pepe wishes to use his aromatic powers he will warn you by turning his rear end toward to intruder, raising his tail, and pattering his front feet. If that doesn’t scare off the intruder, the skunk hisses, spreads its haunches, and sprays with awesome accuracy. It can spray repeatedly 7 or 8 times if necessary. Amazingly, skunks do not use their unique talent on each other. However, there is one creature that is immune to the skunk’s scent and that is the American Horned Owl. This bird’s dinner is striped skunks and they hunt Pepe and his friends at night.

Another interesting skunk fact is that they are resistant to snake venom. They can actually survive 10 times the amount of venom needed to kill another animals of similar size.

Skunks are larger than the average house cat with the body 13-18 inches long with a 7-10 inch tail. They weigh around 9 pounds on average, but some have been recorded as weighing up to 28 pounds.

Mother skunks generally have 4-5 in her litter and a skunk’s life span is around 7-10 years. Although they are nocturnal they are a fairly sociable animal, though the adult males tend to be solitary in summer.

Being carnivores their diet is mainly insects and small mammals but they will eat seasonal berries, nuts, fallen fruit, and birds’ eggs.

Some people in America keep them as pets, but these have had their scent glands surgically removed. It is questionable whether wild animals such as these should be domesticated, as a de-scented skunk has no chance in the wild if it ever escapes.

Likewise, de-clawing any animal is a barbarous practice and should be outlawed. If all this surgery has to be done to keep them as “pets”, it is inhumane treatment of defenseless animals.

Auto Mania: World’s Fastest Ambulance!

by Dr. Iain Corness

When Michael Schumacher had his much publicised accident at Silverstone a few weeks back, did anyone see just how long it took for the medical help to be on the spot? The answer was 85 seconds, which is quite amazing.

That was the length of time it took to get the FIV with Professor Sid Watkins, the Formula 1 chief medico on board, to Schumacher’s Ferrari. Watkins reports that Schumacher’s first words were, “Hello Sid, it’s just my leg, it’s not a big problem.” Watkins goes on to say that he was most impressed with Schumacher’s demeanour and his politeness. “He was very, very cool. He’s a class act.”

From the theoretical point of view it had been estimated that a driver should be able to withstand such an impact and it was heartening for the boffins to see they had got it right. Through all the testing in the laboratories it had been worked out that if you hit a three layer tyre barrier at 120 kph the G forces in the cockpit are survivable. While no-one wants to see broken limbs, to be able to survive such a head-on, at 107 kph in Schumacher’s case, is a huge improvement in primary driver safety.

When I started motor racing in 1965 there was no consideration given to driver safety at all. We did not have seat belts or even roll-over bars. Driving suits were not compulsory and were only thin cotton anyway. Some of the circuits we raced on had barbed wire fences along the edges of the track to stop you driving into the crowd! Contrast that with today. My last helmet cost 25,000 Baht and my fire resistant race suit the same. Even the 3 inch wide six point quick release seat belts cost an arm and a leg, metaphorically of course! It was Stirling Moss who said that he could remember back to when motor racing was dangerous and sex was safe. Things have certainly gone full circle, haven’t they.

Autotrivia Quiz

Lots of stabs in the dark for the worlds first production mid-engine exotic sports car. It was brought out in the mid 60s after being shown in 1962 and of course it was the De Tomaso Vallelunga. Now I have actually clapped eyes on one of these little jiggers at the 1966 motor show in Geneva. A much more youthful and libidinous Dr. Iain with his mate, mentioned a couple of weeks ago - the Aussie motor noter John Weinthal, had wangled their way into the Salon d’Automobile and I was rather captivated by the De Tomaso stand. Not by the vehicular offerings, I’m afraid (exciting enough as they were) but by the stunningly beautiful Mrs. De Tomaso. Dark hair, flashing eyed, Italian stunner with a great superstructure. For a couple of days I made daily dribbling pilgrimages to the De Tomaso stand until I had obviously been noticed leering and salivating at the aforementioned Mrs. De T by one only Alessandro De T and I beat a hasty retreat. That about sums up my personal experiences with a De Tomaso, other than leaning on Rusty French’s Pants-tearer at a race meeting in Oz. However, just to show you that you get a little bit more than sheer trivia, here’s the real Vallelunga story.

The Vallelunga was De Tomaso Automobili’s first production model. It was named after the Vallelunga race circuit, where De Tomaso used to test their F3 race cars. The mid engine chassis design and 4 wheel independent suspension came from the F3’s as did the North-South mid engine placement with the Hewland gear box on behind being used as a stressed member for the mounting of the rear suspension; standard race car practice at the time.

Vallelunga numero uno was shown in 1962 and was an open roadster with aluminium bodywork. The next three cars (some say five) were built by Fissore and were alloy bodied coupes. When full production finally started Ghia were given the contract (because Mr. De T was trying to take control of Ghia) and the bodies were manufactured in fibreglass.

The Vallelunga engine was not exotic, being the ubiquitous Ford Kent 1500cc OHV four, delivering approximately 100 horsepower with twin side-draft Weber carburettors. Later cars were fitted with 1600cc units, although it is believed a few received the Lotus Twin Cam variants.

Almost all were LHD, though one RHD model did get to the UK and was fitted with a Twink. That car has been totally rebuilt and is the only Vallelunga in Britain. Enough trivia on Vallelungas!

So to this week’s question. Eddie Jordan is known as the first automobile manufacturer to make use of sophisticated advertising techniques to sell his product. What model did he advertise in “Vanity Fair” magazine? This is not as easy as you might think! First correct answer to email [email protected] or fax to 427 596 wins this week’s free beer.

By the way, the first correct answer for the Mini Cooper question was K. Noppagan from PMCI and first in with the Mille Miglia (answer last week) was Hawaii Pete Cabrey, who wants more American iron quiz questions. I’ll see what I can dredge up, Peter!

Silly Season almost over

The annual driver swaps and new pairings are now almost over. Not so many changes, nor many “new” faces. The most surprising aspect is that so many teams have hung on to some fairly non competitive drivers.

The line up for Y2K looks like being, Ferrari - M. Schumacher and Barichello; McLaren - Hakkinen and Coulthard; Jordan - Frentzen and Trulli; Williams - R. Schumacher and Zanardi; Benetton - Fisichella and Wurz; Sauber - Diniz and Salo; Arrows - de la Rosa and perhaps Panis; Stewart Ford (Jaguar) - Irvine and Herbert; Prost - Alesi and F3000 champion Heidfeld; Minardi - Badoeur and Gene; BAR - Villeneuve and Zonta.

I reckon Messrs Zanardi, Wurz, Herbert and Zonta are lucky to retain their F1 seats. Experience must be counting for more than sheer speed.

Monza this weekend

It was hoped that the return of Michael Schumacher would be this weekend and the world is waiting to see if he can set the tracks alight again. I am sure he will WHEN he comes back, but it does not look like being at Monza this weekend. See you at Delaney’s in front of the big screen for all the Eff Wun action.

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