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HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Family Money: Getting real about real estate - Part 2
 
The Computer Doctor

Successfully Yours: Colin Ritchie

Life Force: Weaning
 
Snap Shots: The Basics!
   
Modern Medicine: What you have got is a bad case of?

Heart to Heart with Hillary
 
Grapevine

Dining Out: Patrick’s Belgian Restaurant & “Real” Belgian Fries!
  
Lotus Eaters: Three Months a Monk

Down The Iron Road: William Stanier’s Turbine Locomotive
 
Coins of the Realm: Thai pattern sold for US$ 15,000
 
Animal Crackers: Will you help me? Can you help me?

Family Money: Getting real about real estate - Part 2

By Leslie Wright

Last week I offered my opinion that the only reasonably secure way of protecting your interests if you’re thinking of buying a residential property is by forming a company and making yourself sole authorised signatory of that company.

Inevitably, some readers will disagree, and some will undoubtedly be writing vehement letters of protest to the Editor of this publication protesting that they’ve been married to a Thai lady for X number of months/years with no problems whatsoever, and that they’re absolutely sure she will never do the dirty on them as regards the property which they’ve been living in so happily, and which is registered in her name.

Well, if she married a farang some years back, Thai law precluded her continuing to own either land or a house in her name after that marriage was legally contracted. So that would tend to indicate that perhaps the ‘marriage’ wasn’t fully legal, or the land title slipped through a bureaucratic loophole somewhere... (More flurries of protesting letters will undoubtedly be spawned by those remarks!)

Anyway, this unfair law was recently amended, so a Thai wife can now legally continue to own land or a house which she owned before the marriage, without fear that the authorities might negate the land title if ever she tried to sell it. Similarly, a Thai lady legally married to a farang can now own and - more importantly - register property in her own name.

But like any other valuable investment, putting property in someone else’s name - no matter how much you may trust them at the time - is fraught with danger, and leaves you potentially open to abuse.

Would you rather trust your life-savings to a bank or your housekeeper? I know many of you cynics will say, “Depends on which bank.” But I think you get my drift.

Similarly with your house. There have been far too many reports of gullible farangs being thrown out of the house they paid for - with no recourse in law - to ignore the fact that it happens. And far more frequently than most macho men would care to admit to their drinking buddies.

Things to consider

Potential property investors - here or anywhere - should look at five things: long-term demographics, supply, demand, tax, and inflation.

First, let’s look at the supply & demand situation in Pattaya. There are far more residential properties available than there are potential buyers. Some have stood empty for years. So, one could reasonably conclude that it is a buyer’s market, right? Wrong.

Most people don’t like to lose money. And Thai property owners are no different. Having had to pay inordinately high interest rates to the banks if they had a mortgage on their property (which they may still be paying), or a substantial amount of pre-devaluation baht if they paid cash, they are fundamentally averse to suffering a loss on the property - even, it seems, when they start running short of cash.

I know of several cases where people prefer to borrow money ‘on the street’ for 4%-5% a month interest, using their property as collateral against the loan, rather than try to raise a loan from a bank (which these days is not only a difficult and lengthy process but might still be refused), let alone sell their property at a loss.

Property prices were expected to drop by some 30% after the economic crisis in 1997. But real estate agents will tell you that property prices have fallen comparatively little in the past three years - unless the bank is beating on the owner’s door demanding repayment of a non-performing loan. It seems Thai landlords prefer to leave a house vacant than suffer a capital loss on their investment.

Rent or purchase?

Then, look at the ratios between the purchase price being asked and the rental price for the same property.

In the USA and UK, the ‘standard’ rule-of-thumb for value/rental is around 100-120 times. In other words, if your house is worth ?100,000 and in a prime location and good condition, you can expect to get perhaps ?830-?1,000 a month rental income from it.

(Of course, you have to pay taxes, rates, maintenance costs, insurance, agency fees, etc., so you may end up with only 5%-6% net return per annum on your investment property. In real terms, not a very good nor a very flexible investment. But that’s another subject for another day.)

Here in Pattaya, however, the rule-of-thumb ratio seems to be more like 200 times.

For instance, the ‘average’ shophouse sells nowadays for Bt.1.3-1.8 million, depending on location. Those same shophouses would rent for perhaps Bt.6,500 to Bt.9,000 per month respectively. Which means the purchase price is about 200 times the rental price.

In other words, you would have sunk an amount of capital into buying the property which would be equivalent to paying 200 months’ rent (which for those who don’t have a calculator handy is 16 years and 8 months.)

Alternatively, the same Bt.1.3-1.8 million wisely invested in secure medium-risk offshore investments could reasonably be expected to generate an income stream averaging 10% p.a. - or Bt.130,000-180,000 a year, while leaving the capital intact and securely yours.

Renting that property for a year would have cost you only Bt.78,000-108,000 from this income-stream, so you would still have money left over for fun or whatever.

Simple arithmetic tells you it makes better economic sense to rent rather than having your capital tied up in a property which is unlikely to appreciate much in value and almost certainly not beat inflation, if past history of the property market is any indication of future trends.

Location, location, location

Another point to consider is location. That property may be located in a ‘good’ area now, but who knows whether that area will have become more popular or less popular 10 years hence?

“Ah,” you say, “But that’s how I’ll make a capital gain!” Yes, if the area improves. But you might have to swallow a capital loss if the area deteriorates - and that has happened many times in many ‘select’ spots of Pattaya which are booming one year and deserted the next. (And, I freely admit, vice versa.)

So as far as making a capital gain on an investment property is concerned, that is very much pot luck.

Housing estates and even condominiums are subject to the same whims & fancies, it seems, although admittedly much less than commercial property.

But consider whether you would be content living in the same house in the same location for the next 16 years. Because that’s the rental equivalent of purchasing the property outright.

It is more likely that you will want to move to another location - perhaps quieter, cleaner, newer - sometime during that period.

Then you’ve got the problem of finding a buyer for your house - perhaps in a deteriorating neighbourhood. You could easily lose money on your investment if you move, not to mention the taxes you will have to pay either when you sell or buy the house.

Even buying a brand-new condominium has its pitfalls. For instance, in Bangkok there are many blocks of condominiums which went up at the height of the building boom which are standing three-quarters empty, and the owners are now fearful that the lifts, security and maintenance services will be cut off because there is not enough income being generated from management fees to cover the operating costs. How are they going to sell or even rent their condos then?

Fortunately, the situation is not that bad in Pattaya - although there are always plenty of condos, houses, commercial shophouses, bars and restaurants for sale to lucky buyers with cash to spend - just look at this week’s Mail Market section... Or perhaps it’s the sellers who are really the lucky ones?

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

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The Computer Doctor

by Richard Bunch

From Heinz, Naklua: I have two computers in my home, one is a Toshiba Notebook that I brought with me from Germany, the other is a desktop PC that I bought here in Thailand from a company in Pantip Plaza. They were both working fine until last week; I had heard that Microsoft had released an upgrade for Office 2000. I spend a lot of time on the Internet anyway so the lengthy download which turned out to be about 5 hours did not unduly bother me, what does is that after the upgrade had completed, none of my Office programs would work, they start but then immediately close. I tried to repeat the upgrade, which once again completed successfully but again my programs didn’t work. As a last resort, I uninstalled the upgrade, which also uninstalled the original Office installation, so after reinstalling it, it worked fine again, except all my personalizations were gone. Having done this on the desktop first, I bottled out of trying it on the notebook too, partly because I would have had to download it again and partly because if it failed too then it would have been a futile exercise. Am I doing something wrong or do you think there is a problem?

Computer Doctor replies: You are not the first one to have had this problem. Office 2000 Service Release 1 (SR1) was released with all the traditional Microsoft trumpets. Office 2000 SR-1 weighs in at 26 to 40MB for individual installs and more for corporate versions. With such a hefty Internet-based installation, not having a download-only option means that a new download should be required for each PC it is installed on. A network administrator’s worst nightmare! There is of course a CD-ROM version, but that has a 6 to 8 week wait. However, there is a way to just do the download without the installation, although this is not publicized. To adopt this method, go to the Office Resource Kit Toolbox site and download the 52MB O2ksr1dl.exe <http://www.microsoft.com/office/ork/2000/appndx/toolbox.htm#o2sr1au>

With regards to your problem of the applications not working after you applied the SP, Microsoft is aware of the problem and considers it not serious. They advise that soon they will post a Microsoft Support Online article that explains what to do. It appears though that the solution will be to do some fairly extensive editing of the Windows Registry, not something to be undertaken by the faint hearted. And the reason for the problem in the first place? It appears that using an invalid serial number is all it takes; don’t forget that the installation of SR1 requires the original CD that Office 2000 was installed from during the installation process. Maybe it is Microsoft’s way to curb software piracy!

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected]

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. Providing professional services which include website design, turnkey e-commerce solutions, website hosting, domain name registration, computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. Please telephone 038 716 816, e-mail [email protected] or see our website www.act.co.th

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Successfully Yours: Colin Ritchie

by Mirin MacCarthy

Colin is a distinguished looking man who wears a moustache which once protected his face from a rascal bushman’s knife slash in Papua New Guinea. He has chosen to retire here (he has been here for three years now) after spending the last 33 years of his life in Papua New Guinea.

Colin, who was born in the U.K some years ago, has had a really different and well travelled life. Even his early family life was extraordinary, in addition to having an identical twin brother.

Colin Ritchie and his identical twin brother

His first recollection, at age 8 in wartime England, was when all the three boys and his sister were sent away from London, eventually living in sectarian Belfast for nine years. Even this was made rather more difficult, living with his Father’s mother in a Methodist Manse in a predominately Catholic town. “We went to St Mark’s Methodist school and at lunchtime we would go and throw stones at Catholics. We didn’t really understand the bitterness.”

The war was not the only hiatus in Colin’s early “family” life. “By the time we were reunited with my mother in Kent, my father had run off with a Turkish lady. I never forgave him. It was a struggle for my mother. He paid enough maintenance to put my elder brother and sister through university. But my twin and I had to drop out.”

At that stage, Colin had been harbouring hopes of becoming a vet. “I spent all my spare time with the vet. I desperately wanted to be a vet surgeon. Eventually I went into farming for eight years like my twin brother.”

The association with his twin was at times stormy, but Colin followed his twin to Australia and they joined the Victorian Police force.

Colin Ritchie today

Colin has outlived his twin, but contrary to all imaginings, for him it was not much fun being a twin. “We had a dreadful relationship, best of friends till age 16, even dressed identically, then couldn’t bear it when we each started making our own friends. We didn’t speak to each other for years; he only came to see me when he knew he was dying! Really, I don’t know what impact having a twin had on my life, at least until I buried him seven years ago. All I can say is I stopped biting my nails, a lifelong habit, only after I said that final goodbye to him.”

It was during his stint in the Australian Police Force that he demonstrated his pragmatic “middle way”, by taking drunken sailors back to their ships. When at that time, the norm was to throw them in the cells and make them endure court and perhaps criminal proceedings.

Colin accepts the “pragmatism” title. “I’m not religious, although I strongly believe in Buddhism. Whenever I’m uptight I read the book, ‘Getting to Know Buddhism’ and it un-stresses me immediately. It’s a layman’s version and it is easy for a farang to understand. This country would be in the same mess as Indonesia if it weren’t for the Thais pragmatic approach to Buddhism.” Exceptional words for some one who disclaims religion!

Following time in the Australian Police, Colin emigrated to New Guinea. First as a member of the Papua and New Guinea Royal Constabulary, and then becoming a businessman there. “PNG was a disaster, a bad dream. I used to love it and even became a citizen, but I hate the place now. If it weren’t for the shares I had in New York I’d be struggling. I’ve written off my business there and my property is now valueless.”

With the increasing violence in PNG, Colin eventually called it quits. “After I was attacked the second time by a bunch of rascals with knives, I became a nervous wreck. I said, that’s it - I’m off. If I had my choice I would never go back. You cannot go anywhere in the country without being attacked now. Drugs, marihuana are a real problem there.”

So Colin’s next step was to Thailand. Why? “I’d been coming here for holidays since 1980. The first time I stayed for a month; the second time for two months.” Undoubtedly, the pragmatic Colin had also discovered the inherent pragmatism in Thailand as well by then, but he had discovered something else as well - Rotary International. “Rotary has done a lot for me; taught me how I can help other people. It has given me an interest in community work. I would not otherwise have been extensively involved in community projects with the underprivileged and meeting like minded people.”

Success to Colin is helping people to help themselves. “I was very successful in business in PNG. Over nine years I went from a very small business to a very large one. I like to help people to go into business on their own. That is really success to me.”

And that helping people is what service clubs such as Rotary are all about. Colin is the current Director of International Service in the Jomtien-Pattaya Rotary Club and has been awarded several Paul Harris Fellowships (a high Rotary accolade) in the many years he has been involved with them.

Colin may have had a varied, and sometimes ‘plagued’ existence in the past. However, there is no doubting that he has found his niche in Thailand, and particularly in Pattaya. Welcome aboard, Colin.

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Life Force: Weaning

by Tracy Murdoch

Weaning is good fun (if you’ve no kids!). It can be messy and frustrating but can you think of another time that you can spread food all over your face throw it around or spit out? Let them enjoy it! Babies are developmentally ready to be weaned from 4 months onwards. Early weaning may lead to food intolerance so it is advisable to aim for 4 months. Weaning has several stages and each baby is different so patience is the answer. Foods that are initially refused may be accepted at a later stage.

Start slowly with 1-2 teaspoons of baby rice at one meal. Don’t worry if your baby doesn’t like rice, try some pureed fruit or vegetables instead. It is important to include some iron rich foods after 6 months because the baby’s supply of iron is going down. Eating with your baby is good as they need encouraging and try to keep calm around meal times to avoid distractions. Offering drinks from a cup from 6 months enhances their social skills and development. Babies only need milk drinks until they are on solids and then well diluted fruit juice can be given at meal times only.

Babies are learning new skills rapidly and need to be alert and happy. With many aspects of life the formative years are extremely important. Early life nutritional status is no different and has a significant effect on health in adult wife. Weaning is a good time to encourage the taste for healthy food. Adults are so much more difficult to persuade! Next week we will take a closer look at food for the under fives with particular emphasis on oral health. See some important points for weaning below:

DO
Puree fruit and veg
Introduce a max of 3 new foods per week
Let your baby hold foods to chew
Use a small plastic spoon
Give baby vitamin drops
Ask for help!

DON’T
Add salt or sugar
Add foods to baby’s bottle
Force feed
Offer tea as this interferes with iron absorption
Worry!

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Snap Shots: The Basics!

by Harry Flashman

There is always a certain “something” that makes the difference between “good” photographs and the run of the mill. If you are new to photography, this week Harry here will show you how to make that the difference between YOUR photographs and everybody else’s.

This does also not depend on your buying expensive lenses, cameras, filters or any other of the countless widgets that you can purchase to make your pictures better. Why? Because we are going to look at the very basics of photography, so you can use any camera at all - even down to the most humble disposable camera or fixed lens compact point and shooter.

The first thing to do this weekend is to go and buy some film. Since we want to do some good shots, get yourself some good film. Film does go “off”, so even though you may be able to get a bargain in the dusty Chinese store, go to a proper outlet and buy some good film stock. Now I know that there is a big push these days to use 200 or even 400 ASA, to cover all light levels, but you do compromise on “sharpness”. This weekend buy some fresh 100 ASA film of well known brand. Any of the top three are fine.

Now, master this next concept and you are more than half way to becoming a good photographer. This is called the “Intersection of Thirds” rule. Harry has mentioned this on many previous occasions, but it’s such an important and integral visual concept that you must try to remember it and master it.

Simply stated, for a picture to have the maximum visual impact, the main subject should be placed at the intersection of thirds, not plumb in the centre of the shot. The photograph this week has been drawn upon to show this. Remember that you must look through the viewfinder and move so as to place the subject one third in from either side and one third down from the top, or up from the bottom. That is the intersection of thirds.

Now for some of you that may sound a little barmy, but believe Harry here, the intersection of thirds rule when applied to your pictures will give you much better results. However, here’s the rub. With today’s auto-focus cameras, the magic eye will focus on the centre of the picture, NOT at the intersection of thirds. So you must use the “focus lock” feature with your AF cameras. Position the subject in the centre and depress the shutter release button half way and “lock” the focus (generally shown by a green light in the viewfinder), then move your camera to get the subject at the intersection of thirds, while still holding focus lock. Compose and shoot!

The next concept is the “format” of the picture. We speak about Portrait or Landscape, and this refers to the “shape” of the shot. If the width is more than the height, then it is a Landscape shot, with the reverse for Portraits. All terribly basic and comes naturally to almost everyone. What comes next does not.

When you take a landscape shot, keeping the horizon line either one third up or down take another shot as well. This time, turn the camera into the Portrait position and again keeping the horizon line one third up or down, take a second shot. Many times, by breaking the “normal” way of looking at a landscape you will produce quite a striking shot.

Likewise, next time you take a picture of someone in the usual Portrait format, turn the camera to Landscape and shoot again. Do not move further away to get them all in, but be ready to cut through the hair of the subject and place the eyes at the intersection of thirds. You will get another very different portrait with this approach.

In fact, you should always get in the habit of shooting both ways with every picture you take. You will be rewarded with better snapshots!

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Modern Medicine: What you have got is a bad case of?

by Dr Iain Corness

There are those who are sure that in the next ten years, doctors will be replaced by computers. You will dictate your symptoms into a microphone, the computer will arrange some tests and then spit out your diagnosis and a computer generated prescription will be emailed to the pharmacy for you to collect. Don’t bet on it!

While the practice of medicine is increasingly technical, with all sorts of tests, X-rays, MRI’s, etc., being available, the doctor who sits down and talks to you will never be superseded. There is a good reason for this and an understanding of just how your doctor ends up making his diagnosis of your ailment is interesting.

The first part of any consultation is to elaborate on what is called the “Presenting Complaint.” This is what you, the patient, says to the doctor. You do not come in and say, “I’ve got bacterial lobar pneumonia, doctor.” No, the presenting complaint will be, “I’ve got a cough, doctor.”

From there, the doctor will ask pertinent questions, such as how long, whether you bring up sputum and what colour, does it hurt to breathe in, do you smoke, how is your general health and have you lost weight recently.

By now the doctor has noted that you are 65 years old, smoke 45 cigarettes a day and have done so for 40 years, have had this for one week and bring up green to grey coloured phlegm. It hurts when you take a very deep breath and you are actually a little short of breath as well and have been for some time.

At this stage in the consultation process, your doctor is now formulating what is called the “provisional” diagnosis. This covers all the possible causes of cough productive of sputum in a heavy cigarette smoker. The doctor is also putting the various possibilities in some kind of order. Amongst those, with this patient would be lung cancer and infection.

The next step is to physically examine the patient, with particular reference to and looking for any physical signs that might narrow the search for the cause down even further. Bearing in mind that this patient might have a cancer, the doctor would look for enlarged lymph nodes or any masses in the tummy, including the liver. This explains the seemingly strange reason that sometimes you can go to the doctor with a cough and he or she ends up prodding you in the abdomen!

Any physical signs are noted and then the doctor will request the appropriate tests that might also help pinpoint the problem. For this patient, a chest X-Ray and a sputum culture would be in order, as well as a blood count to see what the white cells are doing in particular.

With all the results at hand, the doctor can now, and only now, give a reasoned and most likely very accurate diagnosis. While it may be a form of chest infection, lung cancer has to be ruled out as well. You can see now why doctors will ask for various tests - to confirm as well as deny. This is where the “skill” in making the diagnosis lies. There may often be two conditions, with one masking the other. The computer cannot develop that 6th sense that the good clinicians have.

Be thankful that your doctor has it, and accept that “tests” are part of good clinical diagnostic methods.

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Dear Hillary,

I read on an internet page called “Bangkok Rules” that in Thailand “You never lose your girlfriend, you only lose your turn.” Hillary, is this really the way the men round here think? What is this? A giant merry-go-round or a civilised society? We would never tolerate things like this back home in England. Why do our men folk come out here and turn into animals?

Shocked and Disgusted

Dear Shocked and Dis Custard,

Guess that is because you raised them as animals in the first place, but you keep them all on a leash back home.

Dear Hillary,

Having had a rather rude shock with a “lady boy” the other evening, is there any foolproof way you can tell, short of DNA typing. I am sure I am not the first to have been fooled (well almost), so how do we poor men discover “true” identities? More than one of us is waiting for your answer.

Confused

Dear Confused,

Too easy my dear. Any girl here who is five feet ten inches tall or over and just drop dead gorgeous and flaunting it, just has to be a lady boy. It is somewhat difficult to tell at a distance, in these days of excellent plastic surgery, but even if they have had a total “remodelling”, landing gear gone and enhanced superstructure as well, look for the larger Adam’s apple, the deeper voice, large hands and feet and tiny hips! Got the picture now? Some of them do it for love, but many for money. A rare few have genuinely converted from man to woman because they were/are certain that’s who they are. They are the happy exceptions. Finding one of these you may be lucky. As for the rest? Up to you, my dear!

Dear Hillary,

Everybody says that Pattaya is cleaning up its image, but all I hear are more and more beer bars. Is wiping the counter what is meant by cleaning up? I was planning to bring my girlfriend here after staying away for three years, but friends over at Xmas say it seems to be worse. Should I bring the girlfriend, or risk losing her on a solo holiday? What do you feel?

Wilson

Dear Wilson,

Wow, do you have some problems. It seems that trust between you and your girlfriend is not high in your relationship. You know the old saying, “Let something free. If it comes back it was yours. If it doesn’t, then it wasn’t.” Don’t think I’d come back. You’re a woose, Wilson.

Why do you come here anyway, if you are disgusted by the number of beer bars? Nobody forces you to drink in them, or do they? There are plenty of other pastimes. Like golf, swimming, fishing, sailing, go-karting, movies, dining and touring. As a well known French hotelier here said, “Pattaya is like an a la carte menu - everything is on it, it is up to you what you choose.”

Dear Hillary,

At the local bazaars there are a lot of goods for sale that the sales girls say come from Northern Thailand. However, my friend tells me that a lot of the products actually come from Burma. Is this correct?

Bargain Hunter

Dear Bargain Hunter,

Yes, your friend, if Thai, will be correct. Many of the products for sale here are often from Burma, Laos, China, Vietnam and even Malaysia and Indonesia. Anyone who has travelled extensively can easily see these things, but just be happy that you can get all these different ethnic items in the one shop. Think of the airfares you’ve saved.

Dear Hillary,

The other day you gave advice to some poor chap who had loaned money to a bargirl and more or less said that he was foolish. Surely you have been in love at some stage in your life, Hillary. By the end of the night he was probably seeing the finest girl he had ever seen in the whole world. Why shouldn’t he loan her some money? I’d be interested to know just how many run off with the money and how many give it back. Do you know, Hillary?

Barstool Bill

Dear Barstool,

You work it out! Hillary sure has been in and out of love frequently, but never was the amount of time she spent sitting and drinking on a barstool the measure of her affections. Hillary is not a miser either and will often contribute to renowned lost causes. Like buying bananas for the elephants or giving, not loaning, a bargirl 100 baht to buy noodles for herself and her friends. There is a difference. When you view the world through your beer glasses, you end up with a distorted view on life and often with an empty wallet as well. Whether or not it gets re-filled is another question. Ask your friends on the other barstools.

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GRAPEVINE

Dunkin’ UFO sighting
Jomtien Nivate resident Gladys Knight, a bit of a nuisance from all accounts, caused considerable confusion this week after she anxiously phoned several neighbors in the middle of the night. She claimed that there was a doughnut shaped object in her garden which she was afraid to go near. A number of pajama clad figures, some with torches, finally appeared at the Knight residence and indeed confirmed the find of one chocolate doughnut from a well known retailer. The resulting conversation cannot be printed in a family newspaper. Former friends said later that a combination of the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind and Gordon’s gin were probably to blame. As usual.

Pattaya’s fascist echoes
Much fuss has been made of nazi style motorcycle helmets, sold in Pattaya, bearing swastika emblems and Waffen SS runes. To many farangs the practice has caused very understandable offence. Allegations have also been made that the resort is becoming a haven for right wing extremists, holocaust deniers and violent riff raff who will ruin more respectable tourism. In reality, the vast majority of the offending helmets were worn by Thais who had little or no idea what the Third Reich stood for or even when it was. And the fad is already passing. You now see fewer and fewer swastikas on Pattaya’s bikes. There are certainly a number of unpleasant features about Pattaya, not least its reputation for sleaze, its environmental hazards and its rip-offs. But fears that the city is a recruiting sergeant for neo nazism are just plain daft. Pattaya is the ultimate “open” city. Some things you will like. And some you won’t.

Lord Lucan R.I.P.
The news a few weeks back that Britain’s Lord Lucan had actually committed suicide in 1974 has presumably ended speculation about the whereabouts of this lordly murderer. Over the years, he had been sighted in many different countries sometimes on the very same day. He was even claimed once to be staying at the Royal Cliff hotel near Pattaya. An excited guest told a freelance journalist at the bar he had just seen Lucan in the lobby and had a polaroid photograph to prove it. The photo was for sale at a knockdown price of 5,000 baht. The journalist produced the cash, examined the photograph but could see no sign of anyone remotely resembling the criminal on the run. “No, you don’t understand,” responded the first man, “the photograph was actually taken by Lord Lucan.” And the next one please.

Licence scam
Police sources say that there are a growing number of forged driving licenses circulating in Pattaya, some in the possession of farangs. They are not that difficult to spot officially as the card is a darker green than it should be and all the reference numbers are the same. Farangs found with a forged document are likely to be escorted to the police station to answer a load of questions. One told interviewing officers he had paid an agent 5,000 baht for a useless card. Provided you have a non-immigrant visa, it is easy to obtain a proper license at the Naklua registration center opposite the Mercure Hotel. All you need with your passport is an international license issued in your home country, a letter confirming your address from the immigration bureau and a letter from a doctor certifying you are not too sick to drive on the kingdom’s highways. The total cost to you will be around 700 baht, including the immigration letter @ 500 baht.

Readers’ queries
Trivia addict GH asks how many restaurants in Pattaya claim in their publicity blurb to offer the best breakfast. Subject to a recount, we think it is five. It became a tradition in the late 1980s to offer bacon and eggs at a cheap rate presumably in the hope of attracting customers back for other meals. These days an English sausage, or something near it, is deemed to be essential to ensure repeat business… Resident JT complains that his mail is being stolen from his hotel so what can he do about it? Not a lot, we suspect. You could try switching to a poste restante agency or P.O. Box. If you can’t get one for yourself, ask a friend if you can share his or hers. Funny, though, how bill demands and junk mail always seem to survive the vagaries of the postal system.

Married life
JL has sent us these quotes for your sexist illumination.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

I haven’t spoken to my wife for eighteen months. I don’t like to interrupt.

I married Miss Right and then found out her first name was Always.

Losing a wife can be very tough. Almost impossible in fact.

Is it true Dad that in Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until they are married? That happens in every country son.

Tailpiece
Overheard in Yorkie Bar in Soi Yamoto. “All these honking baht buses are a real pain. Don’t they realize they are driving people away?”

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Dining Out: Patrick’s Belgian Restaurant & “Real” Belgian Fries!

by Miss Terry Diner

Belgians do appear to be passionate about their country and their national cuisine, and Patrick Van Den Berghe of Patrick’s Belgian Restaurant is no exception. Open the menu and the first page is Mannikin Pis and the Belgian flag!

This was the first visit for the Dining Out Team, though we were well acquainted with the “Bavaria House” arcade where the restaurant is situated. There is an outside dining area, or air-conditioned inside. The restaurant is well set up, with tablecloths and padded chairs and the whole place has a “cosy” atmosphere. To add to the homeliness of the place, there are photographs and memorabilia of Patrick’s other loves on the walls - boxing and skydiving!

The menu is trilingual with Belgian at the top, French underneath and English on the last line. The English subtitles are also in blue, to make it easier!

The drinks list is comprehensive with soft drinks, a full range of juices, aperitifs, several whiskeys, the usual beers (including Singha Gold, thank you Patrick), teas and coffee and house wines, red or white, at 80 baht a glass or 380 baht for a large carafe. Further through the menu is a page with bottled wine “specials” at around 850-900 baht.

Fondues are a speciality of the house, according to Patrick, and range in price between 320-400 baht per person complete with a free glass of house wine.

Next up are light snacks, including American Breakfast, hamburgers and sandwiches and spaghetti and omelettes, around 70-90 baht in general. Salads come next with a choice of 5 for the vegetarians (B 50-120) and then entrees where the Flemish background of mine host Patrick begins to appear with Flemish meatballs and croquettes on offer, along with prawns and tomatoes filled with shrimps and mayonnaise. 70-120 baht covers that group.

Five soups are next, including a Flemish pea soup (70-85 baht) and then it is really into the Flemish kitchens with a page of Belgian specials (180-200 baht) with Flemish Goulasch, or meatballs or chicken casserole or Belgian beef stew.

From there it is into pork dishes and chicken dishes (around B 200) and then steaks - 13 of them between 220 baht to 300 baht (or the Chateaubriand for two at 600 baht). The steaks come with Belgian Fries, or fried potatoes and a mixed salad. (By the way, the Belgians are very insistent that it was they who invented “fries” - not the French or McDonalds!)

Finally (gasp!) there are seven fish choices including an Australian Salmon, Flemish style in brandy!

We began with a chicken vegetable soup for Madame and shrimps in a creamy brandy sauce for me. Both were excellent, with Madame revelling in the soup, saying she had not had a better one since her Grandmother’s on the family Sunday lunch.

We went carnivorous for mains with a filet mignon and Roquefort sauce for Madame and the 400 gram Entrecote with Bordelaise (red wine) sauce for me. Both were cooked as ordered, arriving on large wooden platters, along with the Belgian fries and mayonnaise. The sauces came separately in their own gravy boats and really elevated the steak to higher levels. The Bordelaise had that sharpness from the onion and richness from the red wine while the Roquefort was, as Madame said, to die for. The aroma through the hind palate tingled the nose delightfully. These were both excellent steaks, well presented and great eating.

While I sat back and burped after my 400 gram steak, Madame did manage to put away a Belgian chocolate mousse, to top off a very enjoyable evening.

Patrick’s Belgian Restaurant is not expensive and definitely worth a visit. The Flemish cuisine is a very welcome breath of fresh air, and if you like Roquefort - wow! Thanks, Patrick!

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Lotus Eaters: Three Months a Monk

by Mirin MacCartry

Khun Abhicha Chinsathapornchoke is a 38-year-old Thai businessman married with an eight-year-old son, yet he felt it was important to become a monk for three months. Abhicha was one of ninety monks who took the saffron robes recently at Wat Dhamma Isara in Nakom Pratom. For those three months he was given the given the name of Phra So Phanajitdhyo, which means, “Monk of the good clean mind.”

Like many other Thais, Abhicha chose to become a monk at that time to celebrate King Bhumibhol’s sixth cycle. “This is a great time for Thai people; it was the time our King Rama the 9th was seventy two years old. You know that first of all I needed to give. I needed to do something for our King, the greatest King, and for our parents.”

Abhicha Chinsathapornchoke

Abhicha was born into a family of six in Nakorn Sawan. His parents were rice merchants. Although sent to a Christian boarding school at an early age, he was brought up a Buddhist.

Surprisingly he found becoming a monk not all that easy. “The first ten days were very difficult, even Thais feel a lot of pain you know, from spending hours kneeling and sitting on the floor. The first and second week it was very difficult too, to cut away all thoughts of your wife and your son, your parents and your business problems. Then it was hard to get up early every morning at 4 a.m. and go to bed late, have no dinner in the evening and not kill a mosquito or an ant when they disturb you practicing meditation.”

Abhicha chose to study at Wat Dhamma Isara, “because the abbot there, Luang Poo Buddha Isara, is an advanced meditator, an aharant at the top level of meditation already. Not many monks can show you with his technique of teaching. He translates all the Dhamma and chanting from Sanskrit and Pali into Thai also.”

“I gained a lot from the three months practice. Before I was always very easily moody. Now it has taught me calm. I just think, ‘O.K., just let it go.’ I have no stress any more.”

How easy is it for farangs to learn about Buddhism?

“You need to understand about the history of our Buddha first. Then, the Buddha said there are three important things: to never kill, to make merit, and to purify your mind.

“All three are comprehensive. To never kill involves not causing injury or suffering to any living thing, people or animals, and not becoming angry. To make merit means to help yourself first so that you can help others; to donate and share with others; as a layman to keep the five precepts and to do meditation. Purifying your mind is achieved by breathing, meditation, and making every activity into a meditation of mindfulness.

“You cannot practice exactly like a monk back in everyday life. Probably you can achieve 70% back at home.” It has been a month since Abhicha disrobed and his three months as a monk have made a large impact on his life. “I think it has a great importance for my life. Before I was never one to keep money. If I had a million baht I would spend a million baht. Luang Poo taught us to help others when they have trouble, to think about the value and the usefulness of what you buy to get the most benefit. Do not waste time, money, or food. Decide if something is important to you before you buy it. You cannot live in more than one house. Give some to poor people.”

Even back amongst the distractions of workday life, Abhicha seems to have acquired an extra measure of smiling serenity. He is indeed fortunate to be able to tread the path of personal peace and calm.

For Farangs wishing to learn more on Buddhism there are several recommended books. “Buddhism Explained” by Khantipalo Bhikkhu, ISBN 974-7047-28-4. In review of this book John Blofeld wrote, “This book is readable and suitable for those wishing to learn of Buddhism in an easily understood, concise, comprehensive summary.” In it, Phra Khantipalo explains precisely what Buddhists believe, practice and realize, taking Refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma (the teachings), the Sangha (the noble community), and the Buddhist precepts or commandments. It also addresses the rules for the monkhood, the aspects of Buddhism in Thailand, including its different traditions and the joining the community for three months during the rainy season for a concentrated study of the Dhamma.

Phra Kantipalo additionally explains the essential point that many foreigners are unaware of - Buddhist teaching (Dhamma) is, “A method not a doctrine.” To put this into Farang speak, ‘Buddhism is not a religion, it is a practice, a way of life.’

Another Western viewpoint is “Phra Farang, An English Monk in Thailand”, by Phra Peter Pannapadipo, ISBN 974-202-019-1. This book is about a middle aged English businessman who became a monk in Thailand, and is again highly readable and often an amusing insight into the problems of Westerners who ordain as Buddhist monks. There is another book called, “A short course in Buddhism for the Westerner” which is a useful basic primer, like a catechism.

All of these books are recommended and each may add a different insight.

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Down The Iron Road: William Stanier’s Turbine Locomotive

by John D. Blyth

The steam turbine is not a modern invention. Hero of Alexandria had a crude one 120 years before the birth of Christ, although it doesn’t seem to be clear what he did with it.

It was not until modern metals were available that the turbine became a practical project, and the Hon. C.A. Parsons produced a small one of 6 h.p. in 1884; soon turbines were applied commonly for maritime use in preference to reciprocating engines, and later they were commonly used in power stations. In every case a condenser was provided which gave an increase in economy. Railway engineers looked on with envy at these smooth running rotative engines, which required no balancing and had no reciprocating motion to bedevil things. When they tried, in a number of countries, it was assumed that condensing would have to be a part of the system.

The very first turbine locomotive ever built was a rare exception, as were the final ones. It was a tiny machine to which an Italian engineer applied a turbine to each of its four wheels, two for forward running, two for reverse. It was not heroic but it did shunting work on its owner’s premises in Milano for twenty years. It could be called a small success. Two further attempts were made in Italy: one made a trip on a State Railway line, the other ran round the builder’s works yard but no more; both had condensers. For both, the rest is silence.

Sweden, Switzerland, France and Germany are known to have tried turbine locomotives, mostly with modest success and the savings through higher efficiency were always outweighed by the high first cost and increase maintenance. The French locomotive was a non-condenser; it suffered from being put to work in 1941 and was quickly damaged by bombing. Two German turbine locomotives ran for some years but did not survive the war period, and the Krupp works in Essen had two turbine locomotives under construction in 1941 (when the Germans actually thought the war was over!) - these never appeared; they were bombed to destruction by the R.A.F. They appear on some stock lists, but I have not been able to even discover a drawing of one.

In Britain the North British Locomotive Co. built two turbine-electric locomotives to customers’ drawings, and Armstrong Whitworth did the same with a massive machine of modest planned power, so much overweight that few lines in Britain could have accepted it. The Beyer Peacock Company of Gorton, Manchester, built as a speculation a complex Ljungstrom turbine-electric in 1926, which did some test running on passenger and freight trains between London and Manchester, and Derby and Bristol. Fairly satisfactory, the economy against the cost ratio still was not favourable.

The almost unknown Grangesberg-Oxelosund Railway in Sweden had a fleet of freight locomotives of orthodox design, but in 1932 they bought a turbine driven example with the same power rating; notably it was a non-condensing locomotive. It went into regular service after tests had showed a 6% savings in fuel and maintenance costs, and later some more were bought. They came to the notice of (later Sir Henry) Guy of Metropolitan-Vickers, who contacted William Stanier of the LMS Railway with the thought that he might be interested in going to Sweden and see it in action. They went, and Stanier was plainly impressed with the simple machine which he saw - to the extent that work on the third of the ‘Princess’ Class ‘Pacifics’ was held over, and it was not until 1935 that it duly appeared as a non-condensing turbine express engine. The drawing, by the late L. Ward, shows the appearance, although the two sides were not quite the same.

The long casing conceals the control gear and at the front end the forward turbine, rated at 2000 h.p., which drives the front axle through triple-stage gearing. A turbine is most efficient at maximum speed, but the marine practice of designing for a narrow band of constant speed cannot apply on a locomotive - the turbine on this one was planned for a speed band of 35 to 85 m.p.h. A second turbine, much smaller, was on the other side of the engine, for running in reverse, and this was disconnected when the locomotive was running forwards. Steam was admitted to the six turbine nozzles by six hand controlled valves; the usual way of operating was to clamp the main regulator wide open and open any needed number of valves according to power required. No report seems to make clear if these valves could be opened gradually or partly; if not then it seems a rather inflexible method, where, say, three valves were not enough to maintain required speed, and four would have been too much and too wasteful.

This was the most successful experimental locomotive ever built in Britain; had the war, once again, not intervened, no doubt testing and development would have continued. As it was, at that time it had to be used just as another traffic unit; maintenance standards dropped and spares from the turbine makers were badly delayed as the Company was deeply involved in munitions supply. But up to the war, although it never achieved the annual mileages of the normal ‘Pacifics’, it was remarkably good, and on tests between London and Glasgow; with very heavy loads it often out-classed the performances of the standard type. It was a dirty engine to work as there was a tendency for the exhaust smoke to drift into the driver’s cab; nevertheless it was generally well-liked, as the balancing was precise and made it comfortable to ride on. Most of its work in traffic was between London and Liverpool, one round trip per day, and after the war, in the difficult conditions then present, it was put back to this regular working.

There were some quite bad failures, the most alarming of which was the breakage of the main forward turbine spindle at 60 m.p.h., and the most persistent was the failure of the flexible drive between the slow-speed gear and the driven axle. As a turbine locomotive it ran some 440,000 miles, but when it was withdrawn the Swedish locomotives were still in traffic, and were to remain so until 1956. It is worth noting also that the Pennsylvania RR of the U.S.A. completed a turbine locomotive not unlike No.6202, but of course very much bigger. It was fast and powerful but, naturally more expensive and not so reliable. It did not last very long; America was entering the diesel age.

In 1952 No.46202, as it had become, was withdrawn and converted to a normal locomotive; early ‘blurb’ had pointed out how easily this would be as the boiler and frames were standard with those of the ‘Princess Royal’ Class. It came as a surprise to find that the original frames had not been used, and those provided were of the later ‘Duchess’ type. The double chimney of the original was also lost, but it is likely it would have been restored as steaming was said to be poor. But fate intervened, and the rebuilt engine was damaged beyond repair in the terrible collision at Harrow in October 1952. We were not to know what it could do and there are few photographs of it. It was named for this short period ‘Princess Ann’, a name not used again.

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Coins of the Realm: Thai pattern sold for US$ 15,000

by Jan Olav Amalid,
President House of the Golden Coin
http://www.thaicoins.com

On the 23rd of March collectors and dealers from all over the world turned up at the Singapore Coin Auction. The interest for the coin from Hong Kong, now listed under China was great.

A silver dollar from 1867/6 in extremely fine condition, but with two scratches, had an estimate of US$1,250, but in the end the buyer had to pay US$6,500 for the Queen Victoria Crown.

(left) Hong Kong Silver Dollar 1867/6 estimated at US$1,250-1,500 sold for US$6,500.

The bidding for a Hong Kong 20-cent piece from 1872/1 was also keen. The estimate for the small silver coin, also struck during the reign of Queen Victoria, was US$800-1000. The coin was in un-circulated condition and superbly toned. It had been in the Heaton Mint Collection which was sold in 1977. The seller must have been happy, the price paid was about 7 times the estimate, US$7,000.

There were not that many Thai coins in the auction, but some of the coins were very interesting. A copper pattern 4-ticals with no date, but struck in 1868 was estimated at US$7000-8000. The auctioneer had to start the bidding at US$13,000 on behalf of a postal bidder. A Bangkok dealer put in a bid of US$14,000, but the postal bidder ended up buying the interesting pattern for US$15,000.

The interest for a silver medal from Napoleon III was great. The medal, struck in 1861, showing on the reverse Napoleon III’s reception with the Thai Ambassador had an estimate of US$2,000-3,000. After keen bidding a Bangkok coin dealer bought the medal for US$ 7,500 on behalf of a collector.

Not so many of the bidders seemed to be interested in the Essai or Pattern 1 Baht silver of RS127( (1908). This is one of the last coins struck during the reign of King Chulalongkorn. A Thai dealer bought the coin for US$13,500, not too far from the estimated price of US$10,000. Including the Buyer Premium of 15%, the dealer paid US$ 15,525, about Baht 590,000.

After the auction, some of the collectors realized that the value of the coin was much higher than what the dealers had paid. Comparing what the coin had been sold for previously, the baht 590,000 seemed cheap.

The dealer estimated the value of the coin at Baht 1,000,000, but when a collector offered him Baht 850,000, the offer was accepted.

A profit of Baht 260,000 is not bad, and I believe Baht 850,000 was a reasonable price for the coin.

If the dealer and collector that bought the coin in the end had been bidding against each other in the auction, the price might have been much higher.

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Animal Crackers: Will you help me? Can you help me?

by Mirin MacCarthy

Sitting in the shade of a parked car in the grounds of Wat Chaiyamonkul was the most pitiful little dog I have ever seen. It was only about three years old and almost totally furless with mange. “Sad”, I called her, and crouched down nearby and tried to speak to her. I was going to give her a few dog biscuits and water I had in the back of my car, but she was too wary. The Wat was her last refuge; she was still uncertain where the next kick was coming from and struggled to her feet and shuffled off.

After

Although Wats do serve as much needed homes and provide food for countless strays, no vet treatment or medication is given. I just desperately wanted to ask the monk if I could take her home. I resisted the strong temptation as I am sheltering another injured dog and bird and homeless cat and worse have been threatened with divorce if I bring more home. My husband has decided that there has to be a limit.

Before

I am not crazy though; I know certainly that we could have helped that dog. I have before and after photos to prove it. In six to eight weeks time with a mange bath once a week with Amitrax she would be a proper furry dog again instead of a bleeding mess.

Pattaya Animal Welfare Society (PAWS) is trying to raise funds to set up an animal rescue shelter here that will provide temporary homes and much needed treatment for poor little dogs like Sad.

Sad

A shelter such as the one they have built in Koh Samui and where these before and after photos came from. The dog rescue centre works in Koh Samui, and after treatment, inoculations and spay/neutering, the dogs are released where they were found.

An animal shelter will work here also if we all get together to build it. Can you help poor little creatures like Sad? Would you take one in yourself and treat it for two months? Would you donate building materials for the shelter, time or expertise? Would you donate food, bedding, toys, care, anything to help Pattaya’s pitiful strays and help clean up Pattaya’s image? Do you care? Please help us to help. Pattaya Animal Welfare Society, Email<[email protected]> Automatic Fax 038-231675. Office address: 183/14 Soi Post Office, Pattaya City. If you would like to meet us, the next PAWS meeting will be held at Delaney’s Irish Pub, Pattaya 2nd Rd at 8 p.m. on Wednesday April 26, and everyone is welcome.

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Updated by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek, assisted by Boonsiri Suansuk.