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DINING OUT - ENTERTAINMENT

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Dining Out

Nightmarch

Dining Out: Dolphin Seafood Restaurant - an entertaining experience

by Miss Terry Diner

What is 50 metres long, 23 metres wide, has 13,000 light bulbs and weighs one thousand tonnes? The answer is the Dolphin floating restaurant moored in Pattaya Bay. It has only been in operation for eight months, and when the Pattaya Mail Channel’s Nite Beat crew were invited aboard Miss Terry managed to score an invitation for the Dining Out Team too.

There is a mistaken belief that this restaurant is only for tour groups, and indeed, the Asian mass market is the majority, but locals are just as welcome. Bookings are not necessary, just look for the kiosk on Pattaya pier, where the sweet young lady will issue you with the transit ticket. At the end of the pier speedboats are waiting to take you out for your evening afloat. We set off at 6 p.m., opening time for the restaurant, and just before sunset.

Arriving at the Dolphin we were met by two very gracious hostesses who escorted us to our table. We joined the TV crew in a jug of Carlsberg draught (260 baht per pitcher) and looked around. The restaurant is huge! In the centre is a large dance floor with the very well known East Coast Band; Ramil on keyboards, Elder on sax and bongos, Janette on vocals, and the new addition, Jho-Jho on maracas and doubling as line dance leader.

We watched the sunset and then returned to our seats to see the twinkling lights of Pattaya turning the city into a glittering playground.

The tables have heavy linen tablecloths, with similar napkins, while the staff are decked out in "naval" uniforms in keeping with the nautical theme.

There is a choice of an "All you can eat" 200 item buffet (B. 800) at the far end of the restaurant, or a 100 item a la carte menu, which is written in Thai, English, German and Russian. It begins with two pages of appetizers (B. 125-275) including Norwegian smoked salmon and a sashimi combination. Next are seven soups (B. 90-150) with tom yums and tom kha as well as lobster bisque.

Next up are another two pages of salads (B. 75-185) and then into the main dishes (B. 110-340) which are predominantly seafood, but there are also some meat dishes for the carnivores.

There are three pages of rice and pasta dishes (B. 75-220) followed by three pages of European food (B. 190-390) including bratwurst. Next up are the BBQ items (B. 240-695) with a choice of potato and vegetable styles and sauces. Finally there are two pages of desserts.

We decided to try the buffet, and it certainly is a large one. We were informed that the buffet items change daily, so that it would be unlikely that you meet the same dishes every time. On our night it began with an oyster bar, a sushi and sashimi bar and a soup station, then went into one section with shellfish and crustaceans, then some Thai stir fries and rice, with a noodle soup bar and lots more.

With 200 items to choose from it was a difficult call, but we began with oysters natural and some mussels, with a good dollop of wasabe and soy sauce. Regular readers will know just how much I like that accompaniment! After an indecently large plateful of oysters it was into the grilled blue crab and rock lobsters, which I must say were particularly good. Having kept the wasabe, it came to good use again too.

After the next trip to the buffet I brought back some crinkle cut potatoes and a sweet and sour pork, but then it was back to the rock lobsters and wasabe.

By this stage the band was really humming and with Elder and Janette serenading at the tables and Jho-Jho packing them onto the dance floor, it was a most enjoyable evening.

For a fun night out on the bay, the Dolphin Seafood Restaurant offers an alternative venue to take visitors. The food is fine and the entertainment excellent.

Dolphin Seafood Restaurant, moored in Pattaya Bay, tel. 710 971.

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Nightmarch

Mamasans on the take? One of the great difficulties for foreigners who run ogling dens is speaking the Thai language with a proficiency that allows them to understand what is going on behind their backs.

I mention this because an ogling den may possess all the requisite elements to be successful, yet it may fail or not realise its potential due to the ability or otherwise of the mamasan, the woman who exercises control over the dancing maidens.

In recent times I have been told by more than one person of a disturbing trend creeping into a few ogling dens around town in which the mamasan seems to be figuring rather prominently, and not in a good light. Interestingly, all of the chrome pole palaces mentioned to me are foreign rather than Thai owned.

Also, this trend seems to involve maidens who have only recently become employed as chrome pole huggers in a particular establishment.

Basically, when punters ask a newly employed pole-vaulter what sort of remuneration she is seeking to go out she will answer with a set fee. When pressed as to why these figures have more digits than a telephone number, the girls reply that this is what the mamasan has instructed them to charge, and no correspondence will be entered into.

In the past, an ogling den would receive the bar fine and the dancer kept whatever she asked from the punter. Now it’s being alleged that some of the little dolls, vixens and pussycats are being told by the mamasan what they must ask from a prospective folk dancing partner.

This raises a couple of questions. Are the mamasans intimidating the new dancing maidens and demanding a cut from the money the girl receives from a punter? Are they threatening the girls with dismissal if they don’t hand over a portion of their earnings?

The experiment is over: The Pussycat ogling den (Naklua Road) has ended its Sunday nights 60 baht all drinks experiment. Whether it brought many more punters into the chrome pole palace is debatable. Refreshments are now back to the regular 85 baht (including Lady Drinks).

To be honest, I don’t think the price of booze and other liquids is the problem. The playhouse needs to take a look at its music. It’s not just that it’s the usual jangled techno and the other less than pleasurable music they play, but also the sound system needs a bit of tweaking as the speaker closest to me sounded more like a skewered walrus than a device for filtering bass tones when the music volume was turned up.

Decade that style forgot: This coming Wednesday (June 13) the Planet Rock ogling den and late night boogie barn (Pattayaland Soi 2) is holding a Re-Live the Seventies ‘Night Fever’ Dance Contest.

In order to encourage as many people to attend in clothes that last saw the light of day in 1979, the boogie palace is offering, among many other incentives, prizes for the best costume. I’ll be wearing a pair of mauve and yellow striped flared corduroy jeans, white platform sole shoes, a brown body shirt with white-trimmed large collar - admittedly a tad frayed at the edges - and a pale blue safari suit jacket. So, beat that for sartorial elegance.

There is also a prize for the worst dancer (I’ll go close in that), the best dancer and for the first person to predict the judge’s choice. The competition should be tough as the local dancing maidens as well as a number of persons of the second category will also be performing.

I can’t wait to hear old classics like Abba’s ‘Dancing Queen’; Village People’s ‘In the Navy’; Gary Glitter’s ‘I’m the Leader of the Gang (I Am)’; Tony Orlando and Dawn’s schmaltzy ‘Tie a Yellow Ribbon round the old Oak Tree’.

No frazzle in Fazal: Dave, the part owner of the relatively new Fazal Indian nosh-house in Soi Chaiyapoom, celebrated his birthday in style on May 29 by having a jazz band belting out tunes. The munching den offers up Indian dishes done the way the denizens of the English midlands city of Birmingham like.

Indian cuisine seems to have really taken off in recent times here in Fun Town with places like Sher E Punjab II and the Royal India and now Fazal hanging out the curry pot shingle.

From the interesting but ultimately useless Fact File: Did you know that donkeys kill more people each year than are killed in plane crashes? The figures are unreliable but it’s also believed more people are trampled by water buffalo than are eaten by goldfish.

My e-mail address is: [email protected]

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