Mascari’s Baaaaack!

IPGC Golf From Lewiinski’s

Sunday January 25
Green Valley,
White Tees
Stableford

1st Place A Flight, Steve Mascari, 40 points
2nd Place A Flight, George Jackson- 36 points
3rd Place A Flight, Steve Weller, 36 points
4th Place A Flight, Jim Wickstrom, 35 points
1st Place B Flight, Phil Utting, 39 points
2nd Place B Flight, Larry Nicholas, 36 points
3rd Place B Flight, Ken Kutzing, 36 points
4thPlace B Flight, Rolf Figenshou, 34 points
Near pins: #5 Peter Ingham, #8 Syd Harrison, #13 An Kaesavane

Steve Mascari, the owner of Lewiinski’s Hotel and Bar and the chief mamasun of golf for the society had been on the injured reserve role for the past fifteen months. Since his return to the game that has earmarked him as one of the premier golfers in Pattaya he has suffered through a re-learning curve that one would expect from such a layoff. There were moments of brilliance and more moments of golf that were below the standard of play for which he is known. However, on Sunday the light of the golf gods shone on him as he accumulated 40 points off his 6 handicap, that is 74 net, on the Peter Thompson layout.

On Sunday, 25 January, George “One-Ball” Jackson celebrated the 29th anniversary or his 29th birthday...

That left a recently red-hot George Jackson and Steve Weller to battle for the second spot, which spot was only settled by a count back. Jim Wickstrom saw his gross 76, 35-point effort hold up for the fourth and last spot in the top bracket.

Phil Utting nearly matched the mamasun’s output as he continued recent fine form with 39 points to lord over B flight. Larry Nicholas utilized a 21-point back nine to edge Ken Kutzing who had 19 himself. Rolf Fignenshou saw his 34 points surprisingly earn the last podium step.

Monday January26
Treasure Hill,
White Tees
Stroke/Medal

1st Place A Flight, Paul Coutoumas, net 75
2nd Place A Flight, Graham Johnson, net 77
3rd Place A Flight, Glenn Geborg, net 78
1st Place B Flight, Roger Koehler, net 75
2nd Place B Flight, Nigel Cannon, net 76
3rd Place B Flight, Kyle Williams, net 77
Near pins: #2 John Biangazzo and #17 Andy Leach

The lads followed the ol’ Ammunition Road, as the 331 was known during the era of the Vietnam War, up to the tough test of Treasure Hill and its 6726 yard white tees. The course often yields a “non-counting” day under CONGU handicap rules and today was no exception. Both flights were won by net 75 with Paul Coutoumas and Roger Koehler seeing eye-to-eye from their A and B flight rostrums, respectively. B flight eked out the better numbers for the balance of its winners as Nigel Cannon and Kyle Williams notched net 76 and 77, respectively. Graham Johnson and Glenn Geborg plated 77 and 78, respectively, for the A flight silver and bronze.

Wednesday January 28
Khao Kheow - A & B, Yellow Tees
Stableford

1st Place A Flight, Gary Blackburne, 40 points
2nd Place A Flight, Chuck Carriere, 40 points
3rd Place A Flight, Phil Mitchell, 36 points
1st Place B Flight, An Kaesavne, 36 points
2nd Place B Flight - Nigel Cannon, 33 points
3rd Place B Flight, Odvarr Rykke- 32 points
Near pins: #A3 John Emmerson and #B8, Jonathon Tsao

Like two heavyweights, Gary Blackburne and Chuck Carriere both slugged out 40 point efforts in A flight with the former’s 22 backside points edging the latter’s 21. Phil “Flipper” Mitchell, himself a player of considerable ability had the best back nine of the day with 23 points but was bridled back to 36 points due to an indifferent front nine, although the comeback did keep Rick Sharp from the pay station on count back.

B Flight was the weaker performer of the two flights on the day as An Kaesavane’s even par round held up for first. Nigel Cannon and Odvarr Rykker were pleased when their respective 33 and 32 points paid.

Friday, January 30
Royal Lakeside - White Tees
2-Man Greensomes - Stroke/Medal

1st Place, An Kaesavane/Klaus Schackt- net 69.75
2nd Place, John Emmerson/Chuck Carriere, net 70.625
3rd Place, Paul Coutoumas/Graham Johnson, net 71.0

The last day of the month saw the lads, and gal (thanks An!) playing a new format to the society, 2-person greensomes. If differs from Ryder Cup foursomes in that in greensomes both team members hit the initial shot, the drive, and then select the best and alternate shots through the hole, whereas in its more famous cousin one player drives on the odd holes, one on the even, with alternate shots thereafter. The society found it a pleasant alternative and there are plans to make it an every other month format.

Two steady players never hurt you in this format and who is steadier then Klaus and An as the golfing couple netted out at a best on the day 69.75. Incidentally, handicaps are summed and multiplied by 3/8’s to yield the competition handicap. Golf manager John Emmerson claims he had to drag Chuck Carriere to the second place podium spot, but this scribe is confident that the latter has a conflicting interpretation. Paul Coutoumas and Graham Johnson were late back to the bar due to navigational errors but they apparently had no such gaffes on the course as their level 71.0 was good for the third spot.

IPGC Pattaya Golf Society at the Bunker

It should have been at Treasure Hill but a call 24 hours earlier informed the Bunker that one hundred Thai golfers were about to descend on the course, taking up all the caddies and golf carts! Amazing Thailand!

Instead the Bunker Boys re-routed and took off to Noble Place on Tuesday, 27th January, for their weekly medal round. The course was in fine condition and, with the cut at seventeen and under, the two flights opened the exchanges under fine warm skies.

Division two saw a refreshing change at the top with perpetual “rabbit”, Canadian Frank Baker, showing excellent form and recording a net 76 to take runner-up place. For Frank this was his first ever appearance on the podium and everyone was delighted for him.

Newcomer Sunny Khanna kept his head down and delivered a creditable round of net 75 to win the flight by just one shot.

In division one Keith Smithson again set the standard with an almost faultless round, firing a gross par 72, giving him net 71, to tie for second place with John Hughes, who, once again was afflicted with an errant caddy. Despite this his net 71 was still a fine performance.

At the top of the lists was Harry Cowling, and the only pity of his net 70 round was that his usual playing partners were on a visa run and were unable to witness the event.

There was only one birdie two and the prospect of the Bunker Super Sawng award led to Jim Proctor abandoning his round after nine holes with sickness.

No such fears for Pat Murphy, however, as his win the previous outing became a distant memory, and his dismal net 86 won for him the Bunker Banana Booby. It should have been Treasure Hill but Noble Place did not disappoint.

Big win for the “Quiet American”

The Bunker Boys renewed their monthly interest in Siam Country Club on Thursday, 29th January, when they called to play their weekly Stableford event. The course was full and elsewhere on the track a large group from PSC were also indulging in their monthly rituals.

Not to be outdone the Bunker tackled its task with its usual endeavour and found the course with slightly faster greens more to their liking.

Division two, for handicaps of eighteen and over, saw a couple of excellent scores with Kevin Wilson posting a score of 35 points to take third place, three points behind a resurgent Jim Payne, whose first nine tally of 22 held out false promise of better things to come.

It was the end of a fine week for Sunny Khanna, however, and his winning score of 41 points means he will return to England soon with a much reduced handicap!

Division one had its “stars” as well, as Harry Riley and PJ Redmond both recorded totals of 38 points to take a share of third place, only one behind Bill Hewitt whose recent visa run has renewed his energy for the game.

Way ahead of the rest of the group was Gene Scalf, the “Quiet American”, who was playing in his last Bunker event for a while, and his score of 43 points will live in his memory, and the ears of his listeners for many a long day.

Elsewhere on the course the wheels were coming off Steve Nowell’s wagon as his 26 points after ten holes also bore a false dawn but he was able to take comfort with a share of the Bunker Super Sawng award, along with newcomer Brian Close.

At the other end of the scale Wilf Latham and playing partner Len Jones were indulging in a nail biting head-to-head battle for the Bunker Banana Booby but Len’s three points on hole seventeen proved to be the final nail in Wilf’s coffin and for him there was only the consolation of back-to-back bananas for his low score of the day. Alas, Wilf, Siam will be forgotten and better days lie ahead!

Friday January 30
Bangprakong
(Stableford)

My favourite courses are those that allow you to hit long off the tee, a bit of space to play with, nice grass on the fairway where the ball sort of sits up, scenic views and fast true greens. If you like the same take a trip down to Bangprakong, it’s worth the journey. The journey incidentally is pretty good as it is motorway most of the way, even if the toll is 30 baht either way. Well recommended. It is also a pleasant drive, pleasant because Tim insists on driving on a Friday, and who am I to argue.

Herb, Bob and Jeff Presented by Orr.

Bang Prakong has a course that is very easy to walk, being flat and open, happy days. So it is not surprising we had a lot of the players showing good form, and even the players at Bobby’s day out are showing good form and 40 points not uncommon.

After in the clubhouse the atmosphere is relaxed, and a coldie or two goes down well, whilst Max sorts out the winner and then we can relax and have a slow saunter back to home base. Of course Friday night driving into Pattaya is never a pretty sight. Talking of not a pretty sight Bobby greeted the returning golfers with a fine meat salad, and a request that his new waitress Orr do the presentation. Dainty and slight describes her, and one can see why the record for most people in a car could be held by Bobby’s Bar.

Big Herb Schwieterman won the competition for the day and the photo is not doctored. After, as is usual, Bobby read the results and the night slowly set in, I think.

Winner: Herb Schwieterman
Runner up: Bob Lawrence
Near pin: Jeff Wylie (2), Bruce McAdam, Tim Holt, Derek George, Max Matthews and Tony Scrambler.
Long putt: Herb Schwieterman and Jerry Kurtz

It’s Monday and the AGM Run. An in town run which is always frowned upon. Off to Pattaya Park. A very nice A site close to the beach. It did take a long time to sign up, but we did have a new apprentice doing the job for the first time. He will get better with age.

New GFM Charlie Manson was getting people to sign a disclaimer. Apparently we, if you wanted that is, could go up the tower and come down on the slide. The disclaimer was in case the rope broke, and you came crashing down to the ground in a big pool of blood. We did not want the hash to pay out money for dead bodies.

Hares Ponch and Charlie in to tell us about the run. We would be following flour footprints, the Pattaya Hash is eco friendly.

The run went off along the beach. I had not been up this way for some time, and it was really nice along the beach with nice walks and gardens being put in. The run winging around the streets and up to the temple. All in all everybody seemed to like the run even though it was an in town run.

Well done hares, no hash s**t for this one.

Back at the beer truck nobody hanging around the truck while the runners were out, that was strange. Circle called and the raffle with the lovely Bunny. Although one returner was Yankee Doodle who had not returned in six years. And he sang us a song. Nice to see you and your missus again. The usual returners and virgins, but one virgin had not bought a T-shirt. So I was fortunate enough to have her sitting on my lap. Hares on in for some ice but as I said before they did a good job, no hash s**t here.

The good RA Steamy Lump on to mess with people. He liked to bring in other hashers who were smaller than himself. Incestuous (I cannot remember his new name) on in and Ausies KBK, Baby’s Brain in. Steamy and Needle D* sang a song to Yao Yao and John S**t-head II about bombing Iraq.

I myself on in for chicken flu. I did not start it honestly. Ewok on in for her 300th run. Well done. And VV on in for his 200 run shirt.

It was the AGM and we had the new Mismanagement who are going to keep the Hash going. The Hash will survive and carry on with help from willing volunteers.

The Hares Song was going to be a Disco Theme, but they could not find the tape. But we did have music and dancing. Hash hymn and off to the Scandi for good food. A good time was had by all.

On On

Sir Chicken F*

MBMG International Casuals League - Week 9

This week in the MBMG International League saw a clash of opposing beliefs as East faced West, brawn met guile, top met second, as the marauding Scandinavian Vikings took on league leaders the Japanese of Bangkok United. For the purists there was little to admire as the Japanese were contemptuously swept away under wave upon wave of brutal Viking assaults. Time after time the Japanese tried to get their delicate passing game together only to be roughly shoved off the ball by the burly Viking berserkers, who then launched the ball forward to battering ram, Anders Schmidt, who would smack the ball into the net. Final score, 6-2, including three for Schmidt.

The Mighty Dubliner limped to a 4-0 victory over a spirited Bangkok Blitz team, who played most of the game with nine men. Once again the Mighty Dubliner’s big summer signings flopped, with James Parrott and Nicholas Smart both firing blanks. Indeed, following on from last week’s abuse of James Parrott, where fans were waving a stuffed donkey at the forward, this week, fans actually brought along a live donkey, who remarkably, had been trained to raucously ‘Hee Haw’ every time Parrott touched the ball. Parrott, clearly affected by such inventive barracking, couldn’t get into the game and was taken off midway through the second half. As the crestfallen player trudged slowly to the dugout the donkey unleashed an ear piercing ‘Hee Haw’ to surpass all previous ones. Parrott, clearly upset at this, pulled off one of his boots and angrily flung it into the crowd. To the amazement of all it struck the donkey straight in the face and the nearby Saint John’s Ambulance men had to provide on the spot medical attention to the injured beast. After the game a dumbfounded Mighty Dubliner manager could only say, “If the boy could hit the goal like he hit that donkey, we wouldn’t be in this trouble.”

Elsewhere, the Germans lost 6-5 to the British Club in a thriller that was settled only in the last 5 minutes of the game, the Bullshead moved up the table with a 3-1 win over an injury ravaged Pattaya and SCI ground out a 0-0 draw with the underachieving French with defences on both side ruling the day.

Results - Week 9

Scandinavian Vikings 6-2 Bangkok United
Bangkok Blitz 0-4 The Dubliner
Bulls Head Brazilians 3-1 Racing Club Pattaya
SCI Gecko FC 0-0 Les Gaulois de Bangkok
Patana P-P AFC Shrewsbury
British Club Casuals 6-5 German All Stars