30 years of happiness
Dear Hillary,
Hooray for printing the letter showing that there are just as many good westerner-Thai marriages as the other way, but we aren’t so noisy about it. You’re probably right when you say that because we’re not having problems, we don’t think about writing in. My Thai wife and I have been married for almost 30 years and we spent half that time in the States and the other half of the time we’ve lived here, where we are at present. Sure we’ve had fights and arguments, but doesn’t everybody? The next day it’s OK again. She’s been my best buddy as well as my wife, and provided you don’t dash off to the village with the first Thai girl you meet, you have every good chance of having a great rewarding life like Lek and myself have had.
Eugene

Dear Eugene,
Thank you, my Petal, for your happy and uplifting letter. It will make all the other successful western-Thai marriage partners feel good. With divorce statistics in the west being around 50 percent of first marriages, you probably have a better chance of long term success in Thailand, than in the US anyway.

Sex shows? Really? Here?
Dear Hillary,
The wife of one of my husband’s friends will be coming to visit Pattaya next month, along with a couple of her girl friends. They would all be in their 50’s, and shocked me when they wrote and said they wanted to see a “sex show” while they are here. Do you think it’s proper for me to take them to some of the more outrageous places, or what? I’m really blown away by this. What do you recommend, Hillary?
Shocked

Dear Shocked,

There is nothing to worry about, my dear. Everybody knows we don’t have sex shows in Pattaya. The nice policeman told me so. If you’re really worried, get your husband to take them.

What to do with the outlaws
Dear Hillary,
My husband’s mother and father are coming out for a holiday next month. This will be their first trip to Thailand and I am wondering where we should take them. They are both in their 60’s, so we must be careful of the venue.
Maria

Dear Maria,
What have you to be careful of? Will Pa-in-law become an aggressive drunk and molest the waitress, or Ma-in-law snap the bra straps and shoulder the girls out of the way at the chrome pole paradise? Honestly, what is the world coming to? Stop worrying! Pattaya has more amazing things to do and go to than just about anywhere in the world. You should put the following on the agenda, one of the lavish on stage transvestite shows (Tiffany’s for example), a visit to some of the restaurants out over the water on Walking Street like King Sea Food, take them to the tourist entertainment outlets like zoos and other similar venues, enjoy relaxed BBQ’s at Bang Saray for example, a bit of fun, food and dancing at Walking Street and even take them to a go-go bar. After all, they are here and someone will ask them on their return what they were like. Relax and enjoy their being here. They’re old enough to tell you what they want anyway!

The gentle art of tipping explained
Dear Hillary,
We enjoy coming to Thailand every year but the one thing that completely confuses me and leaves me embarrassed is the subject of tipping - when and how much? For example, if the restaurant charges a “service” fee, should you tip as well? I am told that the wages are not high for some of the up-country people in bars and restaurants and they need the tips, but I do not want to throw money away on our holiday trips either. I mean, the reason we come is because things are so much cheaper than at home. If the prices go up here, then it isn’t worth the traveling costs. What do you do as someone living there, for example. What’s your tip about tipping?
George and Steph

Dear George and Steph,
What you have to look at with the bill is whether or not there is a service charge. If the establishment adds on 10 percent for service (the usual amount), then as far as I am concerned - that’s the tip. There are some places that no doubt pocket the Service Charge, but that’s not anything of our doing, nor can we change it. That is something between the employees and the owners to work out, and believe me that does happen. On the other hand, if I feel that the waiter or service staff has gone well beyond that which could be expected, then I reward them with a little extra something for that person, irrespective. You know the sort of things I like - a little fawning, groveling and lots of compliments. In an establishment that has no standard add on Service Charge, then it really is up to you. Small change left over or up to 10 percent again is quite normal. The service staff is grateful for anything you leave them. It all adds up by the end of the day.