It can be hard to be a child or teenager in Thailand. While at first thought one
might think that there couldn’t be a better environment for children to grow up
freely and naturally, many expats will confirm that their children are showing
various signs of what could be called ‘adjustment problems’ if we try to avoid
more negative terms. But why is that so?
The most difficult challenge for children of expats moving to
Thailand is to leave their previous friends and their familiar environment and
to be ‘transferred’ to a completely different place in the world that often
enough feels hostile and alien to them at first. They don’t understand the
language, feel uncomfortable by the unknown looks of the people surrounding
them, and even the unfamiliar climate and food can drag them down emotionally.
It’s often the little things - things adults don’t even think about - that can
be difficult for them to cope with.
Younger children are usually a bit faster to adjust. It is
much easier for them to pick up on a new language and usually they will also
receive a lot of positive attention from Thais which makes it easier to feel
welcome and to grow comfortable in the new environment.
Children older than 7-8 years and teenagers, however, often
fight the transition as long as they can. It is difficult for them to accept
what their parents ‘were doing to them’, but then, emotional resistance makes it
even more difficult to adjust. Also, the older the children or teenagers are,
the higher the impact of cultural differences.
If we try to imagine that it is one of the biggest challenges
for children to develop confidence, not only in themselves, but also in dealing
with others, we might understand better why it is comparable to a trauma if they
are taken out of their familiar environment and have to decipher a completely
new set of ‘social rules’ and socialize with people they cannot understand, be
it in terms of the language they are speaking or the way they behave and the
cultural rules that apply.
Children and teenagers having to deal with such irritations
and challenges often react with protest and aggression, retreat, a drop in
school performance or develop psychosomatic disorders. Parents are often enough
identified as the ‘enemy’ that caused their problems in the first place. It is
usually a wise decision not to try to resolve the crisis alone under all
circumstances, but to involve a counselor or a friend from back home for help
and support. It might take a little while, but usually it is possible even for
the most difficult teenagers to gradually open themselves up and to develop a
more constructive take on the situation they are in again.
In one of the next issues of this corner I will take on the
challenges of expat kids who were born in Thailand.
|
Live the happy life you planned! Richard L.
Fellner is head of the Pattaya Counseling Center in Soi Khopai and
offers consultations in English and German languages (after making
appointments at 0854 370 470). |
