Dear Hillary,
My Thai GF is a great gal in every way, but in general knowledge she is really behind. Ask her the capital of Spain and she has no idea. Only by digging, did I find she doesn’t know where Spain is either. In fact just about every country holds no interest for her. Good movies don’t interest her either, only those soppy Thai soap operas, or the supposed ‘quiz’ shows complete with bangs, buzzes and whistles and the compulsory katoey and a dwarf. How can I get her general knowledge improved? I don’t want her to meet my parents like this and show off her amazing lack of interest in anything other than spending money (mine) and eating.
Jack

Dear Jack,
I want you to go back in time to when you first met your GF. What was the attraction? If it was just sex, then you did not think very far, did you, my Petal. Sex is for sale all over the world, and certainly is not the basis for a long and happy marriage. Your GF sounds like she is not an educated lady, and would come from a family that also did not have the advantages an education can give. You will not pack several years of school into a couple of months, and if you insist she will go her own way, after she finds another male with a bulging wallet. I’m sorry to say you have put your money on a losing horse, Jack. If you want someone to discuss the Eurozone, look elsewhere.

Dear Hillary,
I met a girl who I thought was particularly attractive, and she was attracted to me. I bought her out of the bar for two weeks while we toured Thailand in my holidays. We kept in touch until my next holidays and she was waiting for me at the airport. I had three weeks this time, but when I went to buy her out she said she could only go with me for two weeks. I thought this was rather strange, but she said she had a previous appointment. Imagine just how I felt when I found out the “previous appointment” turned out to be some chap from Germany. It still hurts me, Hillary, as I really thought she meant what she said to me when we were together, and how she wanted to be with me and go back to the UK with me. Are they all like this?
Mark

Dear Mark,
How old are you, Petal? Didn’t you know that your wonderful companion for two weeks was just doing a job? Imagine how the chap from Germany might feel if he found out she has jumped out of your bed and into his? Girls from the bars are called “Mia chow” (rented ‘wives’) and they will be with you and be lots of fun during your ‘rental’ period. After that they go to the next rental customer. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with this, but you should be aware of the real situation before getting into the rental contract. Are they all like this? Just most of them who come from the bars. Entertaining customers and keeping them happy is their job - a job that they do very well. But it is a job, Petal. Look elsewhere, or accept the situation.

Dear Hillary,
I have a great ‘give and take’ relationship with my wife’s Thai family doing all the taking, while I do all the giving. The association has been mutually beneficial though, with me enjoying her company and the attentiveness for which Thai women are so famous. However, that famous Thai attentiveness comes at a price. You get nothing for nothing and men all over the world forget this. Your readers think they deserve a free ride in life, but nothing in life is free. I made my bed and now lie in it quite happily, and meet the dues that the society I have chosen to live in expects.
Johnny

Dear Johnny,
I don’t quite understand your letter, Petal. You start off sounding as if you are hot under the collar, and not happy. But then half way through you change your tack and say everything is fine. I agree that the western and Asian societies are different in many ways, and I also agree that you must fit in with the local customs - as you certainly won’t change the family’s attitude while you live in Thailand.

Dear Hillary,
Last night in the bar I met the most beautiful girl. I have never seen anyone as gorgeous as this girl, she is tall even taller than me with long black hair and a super figure. She can speak English but whispers in my ear rather than talking out loud. Do you think she may have something wrong with her throat. Could laryngitis be a symptom of some other disease? How do I check?
Confused

Dear Confused,
Before rushing to the Ear, Nose and Throat department, I think you should check with the Gender Reassignment department. Stick to girls smaller than yourself. It is much safer.