Dear Hillary,
I have found a few solutions to the “getting ripped off” by Thai girl friend issue.

1. Learn to speak Thai and better still Laos Issan.

I can speak both languages and when I (rarely) talk to Thai girls in their own language they are not interested in me anymore. Strangely enough just prior to me speaking the girl said I was “very good looking” (in her “farang” language, which I interpret is supposedly some sort of English).

2. Do not make eye contact with Thai girls.

I have experienced sitting in bars or go-go’s totally alone when all the other tables containing foreign men have many girls around them. (Their tables also seem to have lots of glasses of strange, funny coloured watery drinks which are relatively very expensive too).

I find this happens when I make no eye contact whatsoever, they just don’t approach me, Lovely! They think I am Na Du (that’s the best transcription I can make).

3. Just don’t talk to them, look at them or have anything to do with them.

I do all these things. I very rarely deviate from this rule. However, if a Thai girl shows me respect and tries to speak to me politely in her own language I may make an exception. But a Thai person showing a foreigner respect and speaking Thai doesn’t happen that often especially here in Pattaya.

I now live happily alone, my only take-aways are rice suppers. I wake up in the morning fresh, happy, no problems. It’s great Hillary. I am so happy I don’t have a Thai gf.
I just don’t bother

Dear I just don’t bother,
You have certainly got the ways for avoiding being ripped off by a Thai lady (or any lady for that matter); however, I wonder why you go to the bars or go-go’s at all? It is not for the sparkling repartee (in any language of your choosing), and wouldn’t be for the new dance steps you might learn (the chrome pole shuffle). You’re not going there for company, or to recruit company either. You certainly won’t get ripped off by a Thai GF in your scenarios, because you haven’t got a Thai GF, have you. “Just don’t talk to them, look at them or have anything to do with them,” is your advice, so why go there at all, Petal? Do you have a split personality perhaps, and enjoy talking and being with your other self. Actually you don’t have the solutions, you are just running away. It’s like saying I will never die in a plane wreck - because I don’t travel by air.

Dear Hillary,
I’ve been going backwards and forwards on holidays between here and the UK for four years. I am close to the age pension and I am thinking about retiring here, so I was hoping you could advise me on a couple of points, because you know the lie of the land. It has always been one of my ambitions to have my own little pub (I’ve spent a fair deal of time in little pubs and bars after work). There seems to be a few very successful bars for sale and they only want about 600,000 baht for most of them. Since I will be getting a nice tidy sum for my retirement (I have a private plan as well as the government one), I thought I might invest in my own little pub by buying a half share or something. It would be nice to make money at a bar, rather than spending money at a bar, don’t you reckon, Hillary! My only worry is that I have heard that foreigners have been ripped off and I am hoping you can advise me on what to watch for. While the pension looks good I don’t want to lose it either.
Geordie

Dear Geordie,
With apologies to the Charge of the Light Brigade - “Into the valley of death rode the six hundred” (thousand baht). Geordie, Geordie! For a start, there are very few successful bar owners who learned the trade from propping up the outside of the bar. You need to have experience in running a bar or pub before investing in one. Even with half shares for sale, have you stopped to think why the owner of such a successful establishment would want to give half of it away? Things to watch for? Two sets of books for one. The set you get to see and the real books. There’s probably another set for the tax man. Then there is always the third or fourth 50 percent share that gets sold. You also need a work permit, and that isn’t easy for working in a bar. You might get a bonus? Unfortunately, with the economic downturn, tourist cancellations etc., etc., etc., the bar will pay no dividend this year and the regretful owner will buy your 50 percent share back for 100,000 baht. Yes, there are quick profits to be made in the bar bizz - for the seller, not the purchaser. Mind you, if you can get a half share in Jameson’s for 600,000 baht, count me in too!