Dear Hillary,
I’m having a few problems with the out-laws. The relatives of my Thai GF of many months have come to Pattaya for what I thought was a holiday. It now comes out that they are having a house built in the sticks somewhere, and have sold their old house, so they’ve got nowhere to stay and have just taken over my place. There’s five of them all told, the parents, a younger brother and two younger sisters. Nobody can give me a straight answer as to how long it will be before they move in to their new house. My condo has only got one bedroom and it is bursting at the seams. What should I do? She’s a nice girl, but this is getting a bit rich.
Mal

Dear Mal,
You certainly do have a problem, don’t you, Petal. You see, it is the duty of the children to look after the parents, and as your girl is the eldest, she is supposed to be the number one helper. I think it is time you sat down with her to discuss this. As she is just a GF of a few months, it is not her condo to say who lives in it. You are really being put upon here. Surely there are uncles or aunts still living in the village and they can all bunk in there. You need to put your foot down, Mal, before they shove you out of the nest!

Dear Hillary,
I like a drink, who doesn’t, but my fan likes a drink even more. She’s getting into the hard stuff during the day while I’m in the office, and is definitely tipsy by the time I come home. When I look forward to a home cooked meal, she’s too tired (or too tipsy), but really too far gone to take out to a restaurant, so now I go by myself. I’m getting pretty p’d off with this but what can I do? We’ve been together over six years, but the last two years it has been getting worse. She won’t admit that she’s drinking so much either, and gets angry if I show her empty bottles. What is the next step, Hillary? Divorce?
James

Dear James,
This is a medical problem, James, not an Agony Aunt problem. You must be getting near the end of your tether mentioning divorce as an option, but I believe it is the final step, not the next step. You have to sit down with her and tell her what you feel. Try to get her to go to a doctor - if she’s drinking as much as you suggest then some blood tests might back this up. However, if she won’t go, then you’re stuck I’m afraid. Chronic drinking is a problem, and not just with the Thai people. Farangs can also have just as big a problem. Since you have been together for six years, I think you should take on the responsibility of trying to help her, but put a time limit on it, or you will end up being dragged down as well. You have already admitted that you like a drink too!

Dear Hillary,
As my computer was down, I used my husband’s lap top which he had left at home between trips. I clicked on his ‘favorites’ and was taken aback by the number of porn sites he has been visiting. Is this something I should worry about? Or has he tired of me (we have been married for 14 years)? He has been lusting after all these women dressed in lingerie and stockings, and I don’t even possess a pair of stockings in retaliation. My girlfriends said to just ignore it, all males like to fantasize and I should do nothing. I don’t know if they mean that, or have they got designs on my husband? This does upset me. What do you think I should do? I am worrying myself sick over it.
Maree

Dear Maree,
The first piece of advice I have for you is to stop snooping in your husband’s lap top. You may be married, but everyone, including spouses, is entitled to some privacy. The second piece of advice I am giving you is to stop discussing your private lives with your girlfriends. After all, how do you know that some of them haven’t got the lingerie and stockings ready to go?

The reason there is so much porn available, and thousands of sites, is because your husband, and people like him, need some kind of outlet, or respite from the stresses of today’s living. For most men, it is just a fantasy, as your girlfriends said, but having said all that, if he is spending much of his salary on these sites, which can happen, let me tell you, Petal, then this viewing of porn has become an addiction, which may require some sexual counseling. Check the credit card entries, this may give you some idea of the perceived problem or otherwise, but be aware any entries from these sites will not state “Porno Pix Pty”.