Family Money: Charging It Up (Part 1 of 3)

By Leslie Wright

Some readers have asked me to discuss in detail the sometimes confusing array of charges associated with the various types of vehicles that access indirect collective investments.

Well, I’ll be glad to, and hope you don’t end up more confused than you were before!

However, I must point out that just because one vehicle seems ‘cheaper’ than another, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s better; nor may it be the most appropriate one for you.

Each investor is an individual, with differing needs, circumstances, and investment goals.

These should always be taken into consideration when selecting one or another vehicle from the very wide range that are available nowadays.

Let’s start off this week with the simplest first.

Unit Trusts & Mutual Funds

Unit trusts and mutual funds are, generically, the same animal. They permit investors to access world markets by buying units in a fund which is managed by one or more professional managers who decide when to buy or sell the underlying investments - the various shares or bonds that constitute the assets of the fund.

Each fund’s prospectus clearly sets out what it can and cannot invest in. So, you can create a widely-diversified portfolio by buying units in various funds that meet your own risk-profile and investment preferences - in other words, what market sectors you feel comfortable with and believe will do well in the coming months or years.

There are literally thousands of such funds to choose from nowadays, from hundreds of institutions.

They all have a similar charging structure, which is very straightforward.

The Bid-Offer Spread

All units in these funds are bought at the prevailing offer price and redeemed (and usually quoted on your valuation statements) at the bid price.

The difference between these two prices is called the ‘bid-offer spread’.

In the case of mutual funds and unit trusts, this typically ranges between 4%-6 1/2% depending on the institution concerned.

As was discussed in last week’s article, from time to time these institutions reduce the normal spread through short-term ‘special offers’ designed to increase sales.

If the fund in question is investing in the market sector in which you’re interested, this is a very good deal.

If, on the other hand, the market sector in point is not one which you believe is going to produce a good return in the near term, or does not really form part of your overall investment strategy, you shouldn’t be swayed by apparently tempting ‘special offers’.

However, some institutions when approached directly are willing to discount the commission normally paid to brokers for placing client’s investment into their funds.

So, if you contact the institution directly, you may be able to negotiate this spread down to perhaps 2%-3% or even lower, depending on the institution and the amount you’re investing.

But it should be borne in mind that going directly to the institution is like buying fruit from a market stall: don’t expect any advice as to which is the juiciest or ripest, or those about to be discarded.

By-passing the broker is fine so long as you have the time and knowledge to track the markets you’re investing in - but otherwise you pay your money and you take your chance.

Communication costs

Bear in mind that a client-orientated broker will process the paperwork for you, liase with the institution (which in many cases can mean international faxes or phone calls), and provide you regular reports of how your overall portfolio is performing - not to mention timely objective advice as to when to get out of any particular market as danger signs appear.

Having to contact several different institutions to get this information yourself is time-consuming, and may work out quite expensive in terms of international communication costs.

At the very least, you’ll have to dial up each institution’s prices on the Internet, and feed this information into a computer spreadsheet to find out how your various investments are performing.

And don’t forget the amount of information you will need to glean on a regular basis to decide when to switch out of one and into another fund as market conditions change.

And all this takes up quite considerable amounts of time, which most amateur investors would rather spend on other more interesting activities.

For most ‘average’ investors, therefore, it is worth paying the broker’s commission, inasmuch as this is a one-time cost which provides you ongoing service for as long as you’re invested with that institution.

Switching

How about when market conditions change and you want to get out of one fund and go into another? Do you have to pay the bid-offer spread all over again?

In most cases, no.

So long as you keep your money with one institution, they will permit you to sell your units in one fund and place the proceeds into another of their funds (which process is called ‘switching’) at a considerable discount to the normal entry cost - the bid-offer spread.

Typically, such a ‘switch’ costs you only 1% of the fund’s value. Some institutions even permit free switching - but usually charge a higher entry cost.

The only other charge levied on unit trusts & mutual funds is the fund-management charge.

Depending on the fund and the institution, this ranges between 1.0%-2.9% of the fund’s asset value - but is always inherent in the fund price. When you are quoted a fund price, or growth statistics, this management charge has been deducted already, so for all practical purposes can be ignored.

All quite simple and straightforward, isn’t it?

Unit-linked insurance policies

The other most common method of indirect pooled investing is through a unit-linked insurance policy.

Some people are put off by this term before they even understand what it really means. They think they will have to pay an expensive premium for life insurance cover which in many cases they neither need nor want.

This widely-held belief is quite untrue.

The fact of the matter is that because of the preferential tax rates peculiarly applied to insurance policies in the U.K., some of the large British insurance companies dreamed up the idea of permitting people to invest into collective investment funds they set up similar to unit trusts, but through a ‘plan’ which was written in the form of an insurance policy, thereby providing tax advantages to U.K. investors which do not apply to investing directly into unit trusts.

Because this concept proved so popular, it has developed to include offshore variations of the same idea, and over the past two decades has grown to become an enormous international industry - and still dominated by British insurance companies.

One reason these firms have come to dominate the industry is because their offshore arms are established in highly-regulated regimes like the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man, where strictly-enforced investor-protection legislation provides investors with a very high degree of security on their investments - considerably more than prevails in other less well-regulated regimes.

"But surely," you may say, "there’s an extra layer of administration in these vehicles that has to be paid for somehow?" Well, the answer to that is: Yes there is, and maybe you don’t.

The extra layer I don’t dispute. But it can be advantageous in many cases. Let me explain.

Greater diversity

When you buy unit trusts or mutual funds, you select the funds you want to acquire, but a minimum investment has to be placed into each such fund.

This minimum varies enormously from one institution to another, and ranges from as little as US$1,000 up to $50,000 per fund (and in some cases even more.)

The majority of institutions aiming at ‘average’ investors set their minimum investment per fund in the range of $2,500-$3,500.

So, if you are looking to invest, say, $10,000 you could hold only three or four funds at most, meaning your options are quite limited as regards diversifying your investment portfolio.

Even with $25,000 you could hold perhaps 10 funds, but with not less than 10% of your portfolio in each fund.

This may or may not be appropriate to your particular risk-profile, investment needs, and market conditions.

On the other hand, with a single premium unit-linked insurance policy (which it is worth noting is a pure lump-sum investment vehicle for which you pay no premium for the minimal life coverage these instruments provide), you may with some plans hold up to 10 funds at any one time, but without the same minimum investment per fund being applied to each.

This permits you to construct a more ‘balanced’ portfolio, holding a larger percentage in some funds, and much less in others, according to your particular preferences and prevailing market conditions.

Nowadays, the insurance companies have wised up to investors’ desire for greater diversification. Most now offer you access to a wide range of funds. Not just their own, but also those mirroring the performance of leading fund managers of other institutions.

This means that through a single vehicle you can construct a widely diversified portfolio which effectively accesses the funds of a number of leading institutions, in an administratively simple yet highly flexible manner.

Accessing and monitoring this same range of funds through the respective individual institutions could be a much more complicated and administratively unwieldy exercise, with less flexibility, and perhaps lower overall cost-effectiveness.

Reduced switching costs

With unit-linked vehicles, you are either permitted free ‘switching’ between funds, or charged only a nominal administration cost - as opposed to a percentage of a unit trust-fund’s value.

Admittedly, 1% switching charge on an investment of, say, $25,000 is $250 - not a huge amount of money.

But over 5 years you might rearrange your portfolio two or three times as market conditions change - a total switching cost of 3%, or at least $750 on a portfolio worth $25,000. (More if the funds have grown nicely.)

Compared with zero, this is quite a significant difference. And this is for a relatively small portfolio.

Just imagine, for instance, the costs of rearranging a portfolio of unit trusts or mutual funds worth $250,000 over a period of 10 years.

You’d be looking at perhaps $15,000 in charges that you wouldn’t need to pay by using an alternative investment vehicle that just happens to be issued by an insurance company...

It’s long-term overall cost-effectiveness that really matters, not simply what seems to be the cheapest at the start.

(to be continued next week)

If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, write to Leslie Wright, c/o Family Money, Pattaya Mail, or fax him directly on (038) 232522 or e-mail him at [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.

Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments.

The computer doctor

By Richard Bunch

Those dastardly Virus’s again.....

Some readers booting up their computers on Monday (26/04/99) faced the reality of wiping out their hard drives if they were unfortunate to have been infected by the CIH virus.

The CIH virus has a payload of 26 April every year (the anniversary of the Chernobyl nuclear accident) and is considerably more damaging than the recent Melissa macro virus.

There are several variants of CIH and the one that is triggered on April 26 is regarded as the most dangerous and damaging. It can wipe out PC hard drives, making the data unrecoverable, and damage the PC BIOS making the system unbootable.

Despite my column, warning of the perils of not keeping virus software updated some readers have learned the hard way. My telephone started ringing at 4 a.m. and continued throughout the day, and we took in excess of 60 calls, not a bad day’s work!

More bugs in Windows 98

Microsoft has discovered three more Y2K bugs in its Windows 98 operating system and says that it will soon issue patches to fix the problem.

The company says the bugs are minor ones and will not result in data loss. The bugs affect Windows 98’s date format, which is based on two digits and thus cannot recognise the year 2000. A bug has also been discovered in the Microsoft Automation Library.

Microsoft expects to post patches for these bugs within the next few weeks on its web site at http://www.windowsupdate.microsoft.com.

It is a good idea to check this site once in a while, since as well as having bug fixes, it also has enhancements and updated drivers. Normally there is a button on the Start menu for Windows Update, if it isn’t there on your system, just click the Run button and type "wupdmgr" without the quotes. Make sure your Internet connection is configured correctly first, i.e. Proxy settings, security level, etc. Also bear in mind that this is a particularly busy site and you may need to be patient.

Cut in chip costs means lower priced PC’s

Memory chip prices have fallen sharply in recent weeks, which has reflected in even lower priced PC systems.

So far this year, prices have plummeted a staggering 25 percent and are expected to continue falling for at least another month.

The falling prices are caused by a glut of memory chips and could cause a new round of problems for the world’s memory chip manufacturers. Many large US and Japanese chip companies, such as Texas Instruments, have pulled out of memory chip manufacture in a bid to stem mounting losses.

Whilst buyers can reap the benefits now, they may pay dearly in the future. With reduced numbers of memory chip manufacturers, they could be paying higher prices next year because of less competition and a predicted world-wide shortage of chips.

The comments contained within this column are not necessarily the views of the author or Pattaya Mail Publishing Co., Ltd. Letters may be edited.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or E-mail to [email protected].

Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer Technologies, on South Pattaya Road (900 metres from Sukhumvit Road). Providing total computer and IT solutions to corporate clients and households on the Eastern Seaboard.

Successfully Yours: Kevin Fisher

by Mirin MacCarthy

Kevin Fisher, the plant manager for McConnell Dowel, is a large, down to earth young man with a big grin and a winner’s mentality. He projects a capable attitude, ready, willing and able. These are qualities no doubt suited to the work in a large, heavy civil engineering firm that specializes in full turn-key marine projects. Kevin has been here for the last six years and his position now entails import, export and troubleshooting throughout South East Asia.

He was born in Norfolk in the U.K. and at school demonstrated practical skills in metal work, wood work, art and sport. Captaining his school swimming team, he swam for his native Norfolk County.

His father was an engineer who had his own transport business and as a lad Kevin spent many hours working on the trucks with him. "I was repairing 6 cylinder diesel engines by the time I was thirteen or fourteen."

Unfortunately, he completed his high school education in recessionary times in the U.K. and his father was forced to close down his business. Jobs were hard to get, but a carpenter friend recommended Kevin to a civil engineering firm who gave Kevin a job. The next day they offered him an apprenticeship in heavy plant mechanics.

He has not looked back since. His training in heavy plant and marine equipment was four hard years that he passed with distinctions and credits. "When I was 22 I went out on a job to repair a big caterpillar tractor. I went out with a senior mechanic, it was winter and we had the doors off. The older guy was just freezing so I told him to stay inside and I’d do the job by myself. Then I thought, ‘You don’t want to be like that at fifty three years old, you want to be your own boss with the sun on your back.’ I never forgot that."

Kevin stayed with that company and it paid off. He was sent overseas to the west coast of Africa as a field, plant and transport manager. He spent the next four years there on and off overseeing different jobs interspersed with six months back in the U.K. in Wales as plant manager of a dam project. Add ‘versatile’ to Kevin’s C.V.

He has certainly lived in interesting times and interesting places. "Nobody told me when I was an apprentice I’d be in Africa dealing with death. I’ve been dragged out of pickups and patted down with an AK 47. I was on a road job and I picked up an injured guy and he died in my arms. I’m afraid I just don’t understand post traumatic stress. It doesn’t hurt if you get a few knocks in life. I perform well when I have more problems than you can poke a stick at. I guess you could say I’m a bit of a workaholic. I enjoy what I do, I get a buzz out of what I’m doing, travelling around and meeting different people. I like to meet challenges head on. I don’t like anything to beat me. I like to win."

Kevin then worked in Pakistan for six months as a crusher plant manager for a Korean company. He had a close friend in Sri Racha who then offered him a job as a Heavy Plant Marine Manager, so he got a one way ticket and arrived here, happy enough to take the word of the friend, but also content enough and confident in his own abilities.

His values are simple. "To be happy and healthy, and to know that the family at home are content. A few Baht in my pocket so I can buy the boys a beer and relax."

Kevin’s advice is the old adage of putting the time in and working hard. "If the boss wants you in on a Sunday then do it. Stick to it, see it through and be a winner."

I am certain that being friendly, happy, enthusiastic and confident, like Kevin, is a part of that winning equation as well.

Snap Shots: Turn it off!

by Harry Flashman

The subject of this week’s column was prompted by an email from reader Patryck Kilvington who wrote, "Please, Oh please Harry Flashman, with your knowledge of photography have words with the Pattaya Mail staff on the simple manner in which the day/date imprint found in many of the latest small 35 mm cameras can be switched off."

Patryck was of course correct to point out that having the great idea of the date imprinted on your photographs can be a two edged sword, particularly where "news" is concerned. Sure it is nice to know just when you took that shot, but in the newspaper bizz it is important to be current and accurate. If the date is wrong it is confusing and it also means it is difficult to file that picture as a "library shot" to be used later.

Mind you, I also have to come to the defence of my colleagues and point out to Patryck that a number of the photographs published in the newspaper have been sent in by readers, Public Relations personnel and Marketing people. Most of those arrive in the Pictorial Department already emblazoned with imprinted dates, so don’t shoot the picture Editor, he’s doing his best.

Of course, in this instance, Harry Flashman is totally innocent! Harry’s personal cameras do not have this "option" and neither would I even consider that its presence be a good "selling point" if I were to purchase another camera. In fact, Harry here is one of the great advocates of "Turn it Off". Regular readers will know that in this column I often write about turning off many of the auto functions to get better pictures.

Returning to Patryck’s request - with most auto date imprinters there is a panel on the back of the camera that allows you to adjust the date, month, year, etc. If you push the "mode" button with a biro or pencil you will find that you will be able to turn the function off. My tip is to leave it off, too! Of course, you will have been able to find all this information in your owners instruction manual - the one I keep encouraging you to read!

The Flashman household does possess a "point and shoot" 35 mm that has a huge host of features such as "pre-flash", Fill flash, Auto flash, Action mode and all the rest. While this is all very clever technology it does not mean that you get a better photograph. The "pre-flash" feature is probably the most annoying and gives the greatest number of "dud" photographs. The subjects all mistake the "pre-flash" for the actual taking of the shot and move off just when the real flash burst and shutter opening happens. Needless to say, this is another function that has been turned off.

Quite frankly, I find that relying on the electronic trickery is not a good idea. Sure, you will get images, but as I’ve said before, the micro-processors inside the camera are not as good as the macro-processors you have between your ears. Your brain understands what you want to get on film. The electronic fizz-bits do not!

Another of our regular readers asked about Black and White film that can be processed in colour film processors (C41) and where to get it. Major outlets should have this, and the one I use (Kodak Royal Express, Royal Garden, on Beach Road next to McDonalds) has a good stock.

By the way, I have always found this shop very helpful and the senior girl speaks excellent English and understands my requirements very well. The standard of printing has also been consistently high, which is probably a first for Pattaya photo-processing shops!

Modern Medicine: Shiny side up!

by Dr Iain Corness

It is said that there is nothing more certain than Death and Taxes. If you are a male, you can almost surely add a third factor - Baldness!

Male pattern baldness comes on slowly and insidiously. However, 60% of all males will have significant hair loss by the time they are 50 years old. It is not a question of whether you will go bald or not, it is merely a question of how bald will you go by the time you expire! Were you aware that you lose between 50 and 200 hairs a day? Start counting.

This form of hair loss is dependent upon the sex hormones called "Androgens" and we medical folk refer to it as "Androgenic Alopecia", but Male Pattern Baldness covers it, I guess, for all of us. The androgen is called DHT (Dihydrotestosterone) and is a conversion of the male sex hormone, testosterone itself.

Initially the hair at the top of the forehead starts to go, followed by the temples and finally the top of the head. Back and sides are not affected so you end up with a shiny front and top with hair around the sides and the back of the head. Look familiar?

Unfortunately, hair (or keeping it) has become an integral part of our male psyche. Many of us feel that somehow we look less manly, youthful, attractive, etc., as we lose our hair. Me, I hate it! I definitely have the Samson complex.

Now there are various forms of treatment, but before you get excited, nothing but nothing, grows hair on billiard balls. There are, of course, wigs or hair pieces that can be worn. There are different types of these from the basic "hair hat" to ones that are fused to existing hairs. No matter how good, they are still detectable.

Another form of treatment is Minoxidil (2% and 5%). This is applied as a solution to the scalp twice a day. Around 50% of men applying Minoxidil will have a positive response after 3 months - but it is a life long procedure, or otherwise the hair will regress again. The downside of this is that for many men it irritates the scalp so much they have to discontinue the treatment.

There is also an oral form of treatment called Finasteride. The results are promising with 50% of those trying it having hair regrowth in 12 months and 66% having a positive response in 2 years. However, do we really know all the side effects of long term use of this drug (say 20 - 25 years)? Probably not, is the honest answer. Animal studies at high dosage would point to potential problems, but man is not merely an overgrown rat. The jury is out on this one.

There are also various surgical procedures that can be done, from scalp excision, to punch grafts to follicle grafts. They can look very good, but can also look totally unnatural.

So there you have it. If you want to keep your hair, you are fighting your own hormones. My overview is that perhaps we should just get used to the notion of male pattern baldness and wear a hat if it worries you!

Dear Hillary,

As a newcomer to Thailand I am in fascination by the way the Thai girls ride side saddle as pillion passengers. You never have see anything like this in my native Norway. What I want to be knowing is why the girls start to doing this thing, also how long?

Signed,
Nilss from Norway

Dear Nilss,

The reason is very simple. Thai people are very practical, and if you had not noticed, the girls wear very short skirts. Can you imagine Hillary trying to throw her well turned pins over the hump of a Harley-Davidson, wearing her favourite tight black mini number? The only way you can sit on the saddle is sideways. As far as when the girls here started doing this - when was the mini-skirt invented? Hillary thinks it was Jean Shrimpton who made the Mini fashionable in the mid 1960s, so Thai girls have ridden side saddle since then. Exponents of true history would also know that it is very difficult to get on anything wearing a traditional Thai wrap skirt, so the early paintings show Thai women riding buffalo side saddle. How they got up there, leaves Hillary completely dumbfounded.

Dear Hillary,

My six-year-old puts on tantrums before going to school because she says the teacher does not like her. This behaviour only started recently after she was disciplined for throwing food in the classroom.

Worried Mum

Dear Mum,

Block your ears with cotton wool, ignore the tantrums and don’t give her food to take to school. If she goes hungry for a day or two she may then want to eat her lunch rather than chuck it around. Hillary dislikes tantrums in children too! When she is better behaved you could try rewarding her with peanut butter, Jell-O and sardine sandwiches. If all else fails send her away to a Girl Guide’s camp for six weeks.

Dear Hillary,

What is wrong with this country? Do people here have no ethics at all?

My husband came to Thailand to work as an assistant manager for a Thai company. We had known the owner for several years. When my husband joined the company for less money than he expected, the boss made many promises, in the presence of witnesses. My husband did all the necessary paperwork himself. It was the bosses’ responsibility to get him a work permit, which he has not done.

The contract that my husband was offered looked more like a document selling him into slavery. When my husband asked for changes the boss was very nasty. He now seems to dislike my husband intensely. He is very rude to him now.

I can see my husband’s sense-of-self deteriorating. He is constantly nervous. He is looking for a new job, but it is difficult to find one with a salary suited to his abilities and experience.

I want to go back home. My husband is very ethical and feels he should finish the job he started.

I don’t like to discuss this with him as it just makes him feel worse.

What do we do?

Concerned Wife

Dear Concerned,

You have brought up one of the biggest problems for working people in Thailand. This problem is endemic.

Believe me, Thai people have the same problem as your husband. Thais avoid working for local companies if possible. They dream of working for a multinational corporation. They know these companies are multinational because they consistently show ethical behaviour to their employees. How many Thai multinational companies have you seen?

The government really does not protect labour. The rule is, whoever has money, can do what they want. The appalling state of the country’s economy is due to this attitude. These companies often wonder why they go out of business.

This country may appear industrialised, but the way of thinking is still in the pre-industrial era.

Hillary won’t attempt an analysis of the non-existent business ethics in this country. Her advice to you is to go home.

There are many foreigners and Thais with the same problem as your husband.

If you stay, you will become one of the most unattractive things about Thailand; the Farang who can’t speak the language, doesn’t know the culture and who complains all the time.

Best of Luck.

Hillary just loves to bestow on the bewildered the benefit of her priceless pearls of sanity. So keep sending in your dilemmas darlings. Fax The Editor - 038 - 427596, or Email to <[email protected]>.

GRAPEVINE

Dining Out: Top floor - top value

by Terry Diner

The life of a food writer should be as varied as the cuisine he samples. The Pattaya Mail’s Dining Out Team has certainly been to many and varied eateries in the past year - from the crème de la crème of our top international restaurants right the way through to the "café de wheels" on our street corners.

This week the Team went undercover (though not quite dark glasses and trench coats) and paid a visit to the top floor of the Royal Garden Plaza. For those who have not ventured up to the 3rd floor recently, let me assure you that there have been some dramatic changes to this section of the Plaza. The small number of food outlets has swollen to make the area a true "Food Court". The different Thai regional cuisine and international outlets encompass Northern, Central and Southern Thai, noodles, those sticky cloying Thai desserts, Malaysian, Japanese, Tex-Mex, Central European, a top class bakery, Italian, Kentucky ducky, Pizza Hut and a hamburger stand.

Now since the Dining Out Team is limited in size, it was obviously not possible to do a "raid over Dresden" type attack on the 3rd floor, covering every one of the outlets in one day. Consequently, this report has been compiled over a period of some days and represents our thoughts on some of the food outlets. I have refrained from commenting on KFC or Pizza Hut - both of which produce a consistent standard of their genre and need no introduction through these pages, though it should be mentioned that Pizza Hut does a cheap single slice and a Pepsi. The hamburger outlet has also not been sampled as I believe that hamburgers do not represent a true "cuisine" but rather just a means of staying alive if nothing else is available.

So here we go - Numero Uno is presenting some excellent value dishes. The soups at 45 Baht are thick and nourishing and a good quantity. Definitely gets the tick of approval. They also do an excellent Spaghetti Carbonara or Bolognaise, cooked directly in front of you for 45 Baht, too.

Next door is a new one called "Euro" serving a basically German cuisine. The Vienna schnitzel with Bratkartoffeln (sautéed potatoes) at 65 Baht is sensational value. Large schnitzel and more than enough for a quick lunch. Comes with Euro mustard as well.

Further along is the Kouros kebab outlet. A hefty chicken kebab, with or without chili sauce is available for 50 Baht - again good tasty food and good value for money.

The Tex-Mex I found disappointing, but it was opening week for them and they were possibly experiencing a few teething problems. We will review it again later.

The Japanese outlet does a very steady trade with the Japanese tourists, all of whom proclaimed it to be good value and authentic, though we did not personally experience it.

Moving across to the other side is the Northern Thai outlet that does a good Kow Soi Gai and will make it with less chili if you ask for it. Authentic recipe too, the good lady hostess tells me. Another personally recommended food outlet.

The Noodle place does a great Kwiteo Nam for those who are partial to noodle soup but also does Kwiteo Lad Na (fried noodle) and Fried Rice. Probably one of the more popular stands for the Thai populace and serving excellent large servings.

The remaining outlets we will try later, but if you are looking for good clean inexpensive food, fast service and a huge choice then the top floor of the Royal Garden Plaza is the top choice in town!

Animal Crackers: The Dearly Departed

by Mirin MacCarthy

What do you do when your pet dies or is killed in an accident? First you must expect to feel terrible. Even if you have only had the little darling for a few weeks it makes no difference. This is an animal you have given a piece of your heart to so expect to be miserable. Go ahead sob, cry, yell, plan a burial if you wish. Even a lavish Irish wake if you decide that’s appropriate. Find all the photos you took and try to remember the good times you had together. If you want to recover fast then talk about it, don’t bottle it all up. Bore your friends, write a memorial, a story or a poem about it. Never say never.

Still life in the old dog yet.

Do get another pet, even another breed. It will not be a replacement as every person and animal has a different personality and all are loved in different ways. It will help lessen the grief and get you back into life and living. It is amazing how healing, loving and caring for an animal can be. However, if this has happened to you frequently with your goldfish or baby turtles continually turning their toes up then I seriously suggest you study their care before rushing out to buy more.

Once Upon a Time

Once there was a publican in the Scottish highlands who had a very devoted and faithful Collie dog, who would always be waiting patiently to escort his master home after closing. One night a terrible storm blew up with lightening, wind, and sleeting rain. The dog ran out to see his master home but lost its way in the storm. Sadly, it fell over a cliff edge and died. The publican went out in the storm looking for his dog and was very upset when he discovered that his devoted friend had perished trying to find him. As a fitting tribute he decided to have his beloved pet’s tail mounted on the bar room wall.

Fifty years to the day there was another terrible storm just at closing time and suddenly a terrible howling could be heard. The new owner opened the doors and in rushed a ghostly dog which said, "Give me back that part of me on the wall. I cannot leave this world without it.’ ‘ The publican sadly replied "No I’m sorry but I can’t retail spirits after 11p.m."

Animal Crackers welcomes short, funny or touching pet stories and antics. I will print all the paragraphs you send in. Will also attempt to research and answer any of your questions on pet care or animal behaviour. Send in your stories and questions via email to <[email protected]> or fax to the Editor, animal crackers (038) 427596.

Auto Mania: I really am a tart!

By Dr. Iain Corness

A couple of weeks ago I pledged my undying love for a Jaguar XKR. The ink was hardly dry on the newsprint and I’ve done it again - fallen in love! This time it is the complete opposite from the XKR. This time it is American iron that’s got me, and what is more - it is right here in Pattaya!

The other day I glimpsed some giant white beast in a service centre the other side of the railway tracks. Its origin had me stumped and it appeared to be a six door stretch limo as I drove past.

Checker Aerobus.

Yesterday I met it in the flesh. This was not a six door stretch, but actually an eight door super-stretch! And the make? A Checker Aerobus all the way from Kalamazoo, Michigan. The owner is the M.D. of the World Dog Centre on Siam Country Club road and he tells me they use the giant beast to pick up patrons from the city hotels to take them out to the centre. Apparently this vehicle was used as the transport for one of Thailand’s Prime Ministers in its glory days.

It is such a huge motor vehicle (and really so ugly) that you cannot help but be attracted to it. More of a love-hate relationship I suppose. So maybe I’m not a 100% tart after all! (On reflection, I’d still rather have an XKR in the garage for the working week, but the Checker would be fun on weekends!)

A chequered history

Poor old Checker cars no longer exist, but their history is interesting. In 1921, an automobile body engineer by the name of Lomberg approached a 28 year old Russian immigrant tailor, Morris Markin, for a fifteen-thousand-dollar loan to finance his struggling auto body manufacturing business. Lomberg could not repay so Markin took over that company. Another chassis manufacturer also went bust at that time so Markin bought it as well. Then in 1922 Markin took over the defunct Hadley-Knight chassis plant and the Dort body plant and moved his entire operation to Kalamazoo. On February 2, 1922, the Checker Cab Manufacturing Company was officially formed to eventually become the Checker Motors Corporation.

Markin’s history is no less interesting than Checker’s. Born in Smolensk in Western Russia in 1893, he emigrated to the United States when he was 19 years old. He was penniless when he arrived and even had to borrow the $25 bond required to enter America. He worked hard in the tailoring business and saved enough money to bring his seven brothers and two sisters across the Atlantic to join him. Markin then teamed up with one of his brothers and opened a factory to make trousers under government contracts during World War I. This company prospered after the war and gave him the financial base to allow his entry into the automobile manufacturing business, nine years after his arrival in the land of opportunity.

Big is beautiful

After the Checker Marathon you just have to think Stateside when you think of large cars. Remember the Oldsmobile Toronado? An eight litre front engine, front wheel drive monster. Terry Hawkins, another regular reader who came from California, says that large cars are common in Los Angeles. He’s seen ones with Jacuzzi’s in the back and even small swimming pools! "I’m just taking the pool for a run to the corner store, Mom." The mind boggles! Mind you, I think it would be rather fun to drive your own paddle pond down Beach Road with a bevy of beach babes on board. Pamela Anderson, where are you now that I need you!

Musical chairs

With the current crop of race drivers in F1 carrying out destruction testing on their race cars, there are a few changes down in the F1 pits. British American Racing (BAR) are rapidly finding there is more to motor racing than buckets of money and fancy paint work. So far they have destroyed the second car and their number two driver, Ricardo Zonta, is still picking out carbon fibre from between his toes. Enter Mika Salo, stage left, as replacement for the meeting at Imola, Italy, this weekend. Meanwhile Zonta is down at the Chiropodists with a pair of tweezers.

Salo has also got his name down with the Honda F1 project hoping to join Verstappen. However, designer Dr Harvey Postlethwaite’s untimely leaving for the great race track in the sky has thrown all the Japanese giant’s plans into disarray. There may be no guernseys with a big "H" on the front after all next year.

Poor old Minardi are also still trying to find someone to fit in Luca Badoer’s seat following his destroying one car in testing and destroying a bone in his hand in the process. They tried Prost-Peugeot test driver Sarrazin in Brazil, and while he did well for a while, he also destroyed another Minardi F1 chariot. In the mean time Badoer is trying to bribe orthopaedic surgeons to say he’s fit enough to drive with one hand.

Meanwhile, Sarrazin, having had his moment of glory, is back under the watchful eye of the Professor (Alain Prost). The nose that knows!

Down in the Williams F1 pits, Sir Frank, the well known philanthropist for drivers, is checking Alessandro Zanardi’s copy book for blots... Watch out for the "Positions Vacant" column on Sir Frank’s back door. Italo-Americans need not apply!

Autotrivia Quiz

Last week I asked how the Ecurie Ecosse pit crews identified their three Jaguars at Le Mans and other races in the early 50’s. It was with white flashes across the nose of the cars, the number of flashes indicating the first, second or third car in the team. So there you are.

This week’s quiz is easy. Which manufacturer built the first "walk in" loading van, the first 3 door tailgate, the first side sliding loading doors and the first flat floor payload area? This was all embodied in one vehicle. First correct entry by fax to 427 596 or by email to [email protected] wins the FREE BEER of the week!

Fitness Tips: “Fat Bits”

by David Garred
Club Manager Dusit Resort Sports Club

G’day Pattaya, I have just received some interesting reports from the 8th International Congress on Obesity and they lend themselves to great educational reading, so over the next few weeks I’ll be passing them along.

Exercise, stress and food intake

It’s been known for some time that food intake normally decreases after short, intense bursts of exercise. On the other hand, it increases after more extended duration type activities.

One explanation for this, put forward by Dutch scientist Dr. Anton Scheurink, is that exercise stress increases adrenaline which in turn increases seratonin levels in the brain. Seratonin is known as an appetite suppressant used in several anti-obesity drugs. With endurance exercise and with training, the stress of exercise and with adaptation, the lack of desire to eat food lessens. Hence, a variation in exercise as well as ensuring that exercise with reduced food intake will be useful for weight loss.

It’s not what you eat (and drink), but how you eat (or drink) it that may be fattening.

Food type (i.e. fat), followed by food amount, are undoubtedly the main dietary causes of being overweight. But, just when you eat, may also be important according to recent research.

Snacking and food intake

Researchers at Leeds University have studied the affects of high and low fat snacks on total food consumption over a day. Using regular snackers, they exposed these people to eat either high fat or light fat snacks four times a day over a 3 week period in addition to their usual food intake. Not unexpectedly, those people eating high fat/high sweet snacks four times a day actually ate more, when this was added to their normal food intake. Those eating low fat/non-sweet snacks on the other hand, actually reduced their fat intake for the day by around 10%, which not surprisingly, would have considerable effect on weight loss if translated to an overweight person. The suggestion from this is that regular low fat/low sweet snacks (at least four times a day) will assist weight loss, possibly because of their effect on increasing satiety (feeling of fullness). Whether or not low fat high sugar snacks (e.g. jelly beans, jubes, pavlova, etc.) would have the same effect is not clear from this study. But the implications are that snacking per se is not bad by any stretch of the imagination and what you snack on may well help you to lose weight.

Now that is good news and on that note I’ll bid you all a fond farewell.

There will be more ‘Fat Bits’ next week so please stay tuned and keep yourself moving.

Carpe’ diem

Copyright 1998 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand 
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected]
Created by Andy Gombaz, assisted by Chinnaporn Sangwanlek.