Dear Hillary,

The Academy show is over even though True repeats the programs every day for weeks. My Thai wife eagerly showed me that horrible and inane Academy showing a bunch of kids sleeping, cleaning teeth, scratching themselves or trying to sing a song.
(In your letter, you then go on to accuse one of the trainers with child molestation and asking that he be “censored and officially criticized.” I am sorry, but I could not print your letter as sent. There are laws in Thailand covering libel. You describe yourselves as a “group of pals of different nationality” and state you are unanimous in your request.)
The Thoughtful Farangs
Dear Thoughtful Farangs,
I do appreciate your letter, and the thoughts behind your communicating with me, but have you stopped to consider that perhaps your opinions may not be shared with the Thai viewing audience? You admit in your letter that you do not speak Thai and do not watch Thai soap operas. Have you ever stopped to consider that there might be different strokes for different folks? If the Thai community were as upset as you, then something would have been done about the situation a long time ago. Since the Thai viewers enjoy the show, I think that answers the question. Take my tip, stop watching Thai shows!

Dear Hillary,
I need a little help here. I was raised that a woman’s place is in the home. She is the homemaker, cleans, cooks, washes and all that sort of thing. Is it different in Thailand, or what? My Thai GF is a good buddy, but she believes that housework is done by the maid, not by her. That’s OK while we’ve got a maid, but the last one has left and if I don’t throw things in the washing machine, then we’ll have no clothes by next Wednesday. Likewise the cooking. If I don’t do it we would starve. Is this what happens in Thailand, on the other hand, is she dead set lazy? I’m getting tired of working all day and then come home to dirty dishes.
Eric
Dear Eric,
Things are not the same as where you came from. Thai women who have been brought up to a higher standard expect housemaids/cooks/laundry. They would never dream of doing it themselves. Dish-pan hands are not a good look! I suggest you look for a laundry in your area - there will be one handy as they are everywhere, eat out at the cheaper roadside eateries and if needs be, get a contract cleaner a couple of times a week. Male chauvinism died out many years ago, my Petal.

Dear Hillary,
There is a waitress in the Dusit Resort that I cannot get out of my mind. She is so petite and sweet natured, and I have never seen her frown at anyone, no matter how demanding the restaurant customers can be. I know her name because she wears a name badge, but I have never been able to just get her on her own for a quiet chat. I have been wondering if I should approach the management and ask them to help? I am going out of my mind. Help me, Hillary.
Jim
Dear Jim,
You poor darling. You really are smitten aren’t you. However nice the management may be, I somehow don’t think they’re going to play match-maker for you. No, Jim, you are going to have to do this all by yourself. A small bunch of flowers left at the reception desk for her with who it is from is a good start. Then next time you are in for lunch or dinner you can ask her if she got the flowers. You have by this shown your interest and it is then up to her whether she returns it. This is not an easy task either, young James. Thai ladies can be very “proper” and it is not so easy to woo one over. You should read the book Bangkok Angel by Mike Smith, who did exactly what you are going through now. It took Mike years and thousands of pounds, but for him it was all worth it. I hope it is for you too. You sound a nice man. Remember too, if you do get a rejection, you can always send the flowers to Hillary. And don’t forget the champagne and chocolates, darling.

Dear Hillary,
I have a very embarrassing problem with body hair. It is thick and curly and all over my body. I never take my shirt off as people think I am a gorilla. Do you know if there is some way I can reduce my woolly blanket?
Ling
Dear Ling,
You certainly do have a problem, Petal, but you do have a choice of three options. The first is mowing. You can shave it all off. The second is ripping it out with the hot waxing treatment. Either way will work but you will always still have a high maintenance body. You will need assistance whichever way you go as it will be very difficult to wax or shave your own back, but there are many places in town that will do this for you. The third option is to eat bananas and pose for tourist photographs.