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 HEADLINES [click on headline to view story]:
 
Thai Airways National Jet Sports Championships 2000

Schumacher Supreme

Guidelines for the Practice of Chi Gong & Tai Chi, Part 1: The “Do’s”

Peter Gelstrup takes Thai International Australia Cup

Berthelsen best at Great Lake

PSC Golf this week in March 2000

Paul Lipsham has “rip-snorten” round at Sriracha

Volvo Fireball World Ch’ship Starts Monday

Paul Lipsham has “rip-snorten” round at Sriracha

Auto Mania: Flashing in your car

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Thai Airways National Jet Sports Championships 2000

The second round of the National Championships was held last weekend at Rayong. A total of 15 teams and 47 riders took part in this competition. This covered 11 classes of racing. Organized by the Thailand Jet Sports Boating Association this round also attracted the Petronas Jet Sports Racing Team from Malaysia.

With the Caltex Team and G-Shock Team headed by Jetrin Wattanasin taking up the challenge as well, the second round was certainly action packed. Heading the local riders was Thailand’s multiple national champion, Chaowalit Kuajaroon who races under the Pattaya based Flamingo Racing Team banner, owned by Karl Henry Knauf. By the end of the weekend it was again Chaowalit who dominated this round.

The Flamingo Racing Team’s Chaowalit Kuajaroon, winner of the Pro Sport 785 Superstock.

The junior ranks of the Flamingo Racing Team also took most of the novice titles.

The racing in Rayong was of a very high in standard, under the direction of Justin Lee and his JetPilot marshaling team. It was also good for the sponsors to see a total of 15 teams taking part with 5000 spectators supporting and watching all the teams in action at Rayong. In addition, the weekend saw no major accidents on the water. Events such as this will definitely boost the jet sports industry here in Thailand.

The next round of the Thai Airways National Jet Sports Championships will be held on the 8th and 9th of April.

Results

Chaowalit Kuajaroon - Pro Sport 785 Superstock - Flamingo Racing Team
Jeri Wattanasin - Pro R/A 785 Superstock - G-Shock Team
Chaowalit Kuajaroon - Expert Ski 785 Superstock - Flamingo Racing Team
Niwat Ngamsommit - Expert Sport 785 Superstock - 2000 Team
Chokuthit Moree - Expert R/A 785 Superstock - Flamingo Racing Team
Chokuthit Moree - Expert R/A 1200 Superstock - Flamingo Racing Team
Theerawat Lahib - Novice Sport 785 Stock - Flamingo Racing Team
Kobkris Hamition - Novice R/A 785 Stock - G-Shock Team
Nitinan Petborom - Novice R/A 1200 Stock - Wave & Wind Team
Sawang Bualong - Novice Ski 785 Limited - Flamingo Racing Team
Apiwat Jalernsukawawattana - Senior R/A 785 Stock - G-Shock Team

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Schumacher Supreme

by Dr. Iain Corness

Michael Schumacher in the Ferrari drew the first blood in the World Formula 1 Championships opening meeting in Melbourne last Sunday. With a crushing 1-2 victory for the red Italian cars, the much vaunted McLaren Mercedes team, with current world champion Mika Hakkinen at the head, went home without scoring a point.

For those who follow the sport closely, this result was no surprise. The new 2000 challenger from Ferrari has been lapping in development up to 2 seconds quicker than the 1999 car at the same time last year. In comparison, McLaren Mercedes have only been lapping in similar times to their previous car and without reliability.

While Hakkinen and teammate Coulthard scored front row slots in qualifying, it should have been noted that pole time was slower than Schumacher had gone on the previous day, and every time Schumacher went for a quick lap another car would spin or crash, bringing out red or yellow flags to stymie his run. Each time he had been over 0.2 of a second quicker than Hakkinen at the half way point.

Michael Schumacher drew first blood in the World Formula 1 Championships last Sunday.

At the green light, the two McLaren Mercedes cars led the field away with Schumacher’s Ferrari right behind. Heinz-Harald Frentzen in the Jordan passed Rubens Barichello to take 4th. Even on the first lap there was drama, with the Jaguar of Johnny Herbert touching another car and retiring immediately.

The front three pulled away quickly but down in the pack, by lap 7, Eddie Irvine’s Jaguar had managed to tangle with De La Rosa’s Arrows and the Jaguar Challenge was over.

Two laps later and Coulthard was in the pits, to expire in a large cloud of engine smoke when he returned to the circuit. By this stage, the writing was on the wall. It was not a case of when Schumacher would mount his challenge, but rather when would Hakkinen’s engine expire too. This it did on cue on lap 18, with Schumacher now comfortably in the lead from Frentzen and Barichello.

This was not to last, with both Frentzen and his teammate Trulli’s Mugen Honda engines doing passable imitations of the demise of the McLaren Mercedes cars.

This left the two Ferrari’s at the head of the field, the position they finished in, utterly dominating the race from mid point on. Barichello did have to do a quick splash and dash a few laps from the end, but was far enough in front not to lose his position.

A surprised 3rd was Ralf Schumacher in the new Williams BMW, with Jacques Villeneuve in the BAR 4th and scoring their first points in two seasons. 5th was Fisischella in the Benetton and Mikka Salo in the Sauber rounded up the 6th and last points, only to be disqualified in post race scrutineering, elevating the BAR of Zonta to 6th, putting both BAR’s in the money!

Young Jenson Button in the second Williams BMW silenced his critics by driving a faultless race, expiring with engine problems only 12 laps from home.

With the next race in the series being next weekend in Brazil, the British teams of McLaren, Jordan and Jaguar have some serious work ahead of them if they are going to contain the Ferrari charge this year.

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Guidelines for the Practice of Chi Gong & Tai Chi, Part 1: The “Do’s”

In the practice of all forms of Chi Gong, including the various styles of Tai Chi, there are a few guidelines that will give the most rapid growth and learning while helping you to stay in the comfort zone.

These practices are all very mild; however, the footwork in some forms of Tai Chi has caused some problems, especially in the knees, to a very small percentage of people. Always start carefully and allow your progress to be “slow but sure”.

Follow these guidelines no matter what is happening in the class and you will always improve, slowly but surely. In your personal practice time continue to progress carefully.

Do:

* Relax deeply and allow the mind to be free of concerns and considerations. In China this state of mind is sometimes called “cheerful disinterest”, “neutral” and “emptiness”.

* Practice daily if possible. The results you seek are the result of perseverance. Chinese tradition says, “perseverance furthers”. Carefully and correctly implemented Chi Gong and Tai Chi are safe to practice even several times a day. The practices are gentle and based on enhancing natural biological and energetic mechanisms of self-restoration.

* In Chi Gong feel free to make up your own routine and change the practices to suit your needs, likes and limitations. One of the most powerful forms of Chi Gong is called Spontaneous Chi Gong and is completely intuitive.

* In Tai Chi it is generally less acceptable to modify the form. However, people with severe diseases should feel free to modify the practices to honor their comfort zone and potentate self-healing.

* Always approach each practice from the richness of deep intention and belief in self-healing. In the Health World libraries you will find research that clearly demonstrates the healing benefits of Chi Gong and Tai Chi. Keep it foremost in your mind that both Tai Chi and Chi Gong are profoundly healing practices. Rest in knowing that you have tapped a powerful pool of healing resources.

* Allow the mind to rest in quiet indifference. Worry and anxiety turn off the naturally occurring, self-healing resources. It is when the mind is free of concern that the profound, internal, self-healing resources are spontaneously activated.

* Notice that as you mature in these practices that the breath spontaneously regulates so that both the inhalation and exhalation are slow and somewhat full; not urgent, not exaggerated, just restful, intentful, conscious and notably calm.

Next week Part 2: The don’ts.

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Peter Gelstrup takes Thai International Australia Cup

Peter Gelstrup scored 43 Stableford points off his 29 handicap to finished atop a large leader board and win the first Thai International Australia Cup.

The inaugural tournament was played at Great Lake Golf and Country Club on Wednesday 8th March. The original concept arose from the promotion of Pattaya 2000 in Australia last year, with Holiday Makers Travel, Perth, already regular visitors to Pattaya and the Eastern Seaboard golf courses.

The tournament was sponsored by Thai International Airways, who donated return Bangkok-Perth air tickets as player draw prizes, and further supported by Pattaya Sports Club, the Rotary Club of Jomtien Pattaya and Pattaya Mail, who donated trophies. The tournament, organized in association with Pattaya Sports Club Golf, was a singles and team Stableford format.

Thai International Australia Cup winner Peter Gelstrup (left) accepts his championship trophy from Jon na Nakorn (right), Sales Director S.E Asia, Australasia and Oceana for Thai International Airways, and John Toussaint, the Director of Holiday Makers Travel, Perth, who organised the visit to Pattaya.

Other deserving winners included Nopajorn Puasopit (42 Pts) who won the Pattaya Mail Cup for the Best Ladies Stableford Score, Bill Hurd (41 Pts), who won the PSC Cup for Best ‘Over 55’ Stableford Score, and Team Danskusa, made up of Bill Hurd (41 Pts), Don Johns (30 Pts), Michael Dige (38 Pts), and Peter Gelstrup (43 Pts) who won the Best Aggregate Team Stableford Score.

The trophy and prize presentation took place at the highly recommended Siriporn Restaurant by the Mabrachan Lake Reservoir, with a buffet and live music.

Final Results

Best Singles Stableford Score (Thai International Australia Cup)

Winner: Peter Gelstrup 43 Pts, H/c 29
Runner-up: Ossi Viljainen, 42 Pts, H/c 15
3rd Place: Howard Marson, 41 Pts, H/c 26
4th Place: Pasi Venalainen, 40 Pts, H/c 28

Best Ladies Stableford Score (Pattaya Mail Cup)

Winner: Nopajorn Puasopit, 42 Pts H/c 15
Runner-up: Louise Pickup, 40 Pts H/c 18
3rd Place: Gay Horan, 38 Pts H/c 16

Best Aggregate Team Stableford Score

Winners: Team Danskusa - Players: Bill Hurd. 41, Don Johns, 30, Michael
 Dige, 38 Peter Gelstrup, 43

Best ‘Over ‘55’ Stableford Score (PSC Cup)

Winner: Bill Hurd, 41 Pts H/c 18
Runner-up: Ray Ryan, 39 Pts H/c 28
3rd Place: Maria Hasila, 37 Pts H/c 18

Near pins: #5 Les Allen, #7 Eddie Mueller, #12 Richard Cook, #16 Kevin Taylor.

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Berthelsen best at Greet Lake

Pattaya Sports Club Golf from the Café from the Café Kronborg

Great Lake - Monday 6th March (Stroke)

In fine weather on a well prepared course Svend Berthelsen just edged out Michael Dige on count back to win A Flight and return the best score of the day.

A Flight

Winner: Svend Berthelsen, Net 70 C/B
2nd: Michael Dige, Net 70
3rd: Andreas Stahlnake, Net 72 C/B Svein Vistung

B Flight

Winner: Fred Marshall, Net 73
2nd: Dave Spendley, Net 74
3rd: Alpo Sipola, Net 77

Near pins: #5 Danny Dyke, #7 Pete Activan, #12 Michael Dige, # Gunnar Hedlin

Long putt: #9 Juhani Mietenen, #18 Pekka Esko

Noble Place - Thursday 9th March (Stroke)

Michael Dige, currently in form, shot a net 69 to take A Flight, with Walter Hanak also carding a net 69 to win B Flight.

A Flight

Winner: Michael Dige, Net 69
2nd: Rick Evans, Net 70 C/B
3rd: Pekka Esko, Net 70

B Flight

Winner: Walter Hanak, Net 69
2nd: Olli Kaarianen, Net 70 C/B
3rd: Alpo Siplola, Net 70

Near pins: A2 Michael Dige, A5 Dave Richardson, B2 Brian Wilkinson, B5 Rick Evans.

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PSC Golf this week in March 2000

Lewiinski’s start the week on Sunday the 19th with a Stableford competition at Eastern Star, leaving at 10.15 a.m. On Monday 20th March, PSC Golf from the Café Kronborg goes to Treasure Hill and the Splinter Golf Group from the Green Bottle go to Great Lake, both for Stableford competitions. Hare House also take an outing for a bogey competition at Bangpakong Riverside. On Tuesday the 21st, the Bunker play a medal round at Green Valley, while Lewiinski’s go to Treasure Hill for a two man scramble.

Wednesday 22nd March the Splinter Group also go to Treasure Hill for a better ball, while Hare House also play better ball at Green Valley.

On Thursday 23rd March the Kronborg go to Eastern Star for the monthly Kronborg Mug and Lewiinski’s go to Natural Park Hill for a Team Stableford competition.

The week ends with the Splinter Golf Group Open, on Friday the 24th at Rayong Green Valley. Sign-up early for this.

The PSC Golf Championship, 36 holes stroke play over two days at Eastern Star is the following week, on the 30th & 31st March.

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Paul Lipsham has “rip-snorten” round at Sriracha

PSC TAGGS... golf from the Hare House

Monday, March 6 - Eastern Star (Bogey)

1st: Stefan Hoge, All Square
2nd: Mark Campbell, 1 Down
3rd: Bob McLachlan, 2 Down

Stefan Hoge claims he hasn’t shot his handicap since last September. So, we checked and he’s right. September 3 to be exact. He went down to 21 and he’s been creeping up one/tenth of a stroke ever since. But playing off 23, Stefan won the TAGGS Bogey competition at Eastern Star, and now he can start the dance all over again.

He played in a threesome where the only action going was a new set of golf cards. Those are the cards where your friends get gleeful when you go into water, or in a bunker, or you three putt, etc. There are eight different cards and Stefan seemed hell bent on collecting all of them. But at the end of the day he ended up with only three and he bought his three rounds for his playing partners with a smile on his face. You can smile like that when you win.

Second place at “one down” was Mark Campbell. Mark was playing with Stefan and the only card he collected was the 3 Putt card. He thought he was rid of that on the 17th hole, but Jimmy Little by-passed the three putt and collected the 4 Putt card. That’s the card with the monkey’s face on it.

Third place went to Bob McLachlan who finished “two down” to the course. Two down probably seemed pretty good to Bob. He was playing with Stephen Beard who lost his match on the tenth hole.

Friday, March 10 - Sriracha International Golf Club (Stableford)

1st: Paul Lipsham, 52 points
2nd: Malcolm Clare, 42 points
3rd: Michael Dige, 39 points C/B

The Hare House Gang went to Sriracha for a Stableford competition on Friday, the 10th of March. The bunkers were muddy and the greens were sandy, but some people just can’t be bothered.

Paul Lipsham committed the golf sin that can closest be described as making rude noises in church. Only we’re talking RUDE. As my daddy used to say, he let out a real “rip snorter”. Paul hasn’t played a competition since November, when he told Richard Livingston that he wasn’t playing any more tournaments until he got better. His awful play was too embarrassing. Well, he must have gotten better. Paul shot a 92, off 36, for a seat splitting 52 Stableford points. His round included five pars and one birdie.

The last person to get a pew burning 52 Stableford points out of the Hare House was none other than “The Snowman”, Malcolm Clare. Malcolm did that way back on Halloween, 1998, at Siam Country Club, when he was playing off 36, but was dressed up like Tiger Woods. How wonderfully appropriate that Malcolm, who now plays off 29, would have a chart topping 42 points at Sriracha, only to lose. Sorry about that, Malcolm. Go commiserate with “Pin Eye” Finch. He took second place with 39 points on that day when you had fifty-two.

Michael Dige plays off six and he had a great day with nine pars and four birdies. That translated to 39 points and the third spot on the podium. We would try to explain to Michael how he can have such a great day and only get third place; but the truth is that Michael plays too much golf with Peder Gjelstrup not to know how these things happen.

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Volvo Fireball World Ch’ship Starts Monday

by Peter Cummins

The Volvo Fireball World Championship, being sailed off the Royal Varuna Yacht Club at South Pattaya, opened on Monday, with a splendid ceremony held at the Royal Varuna foreshore, even as a huge ‘fireball’ sank behind Koh Larn in a spectacular sunset. “Volvo is proud to sponsor this international regatta, bringing together competitors from around the world,” said Volvo Car (Thailand) President, Karl-Johan Sandesjo at the formalities.

The international week, which started last Monday and finishes today, was the pre-regatta series for the World Championship which starts on Monday. It will comprise a total of 10 races of which seven will count to determine who is the world’s best Fireball sailing team.

Fireball aficionados, Jens Overgaard (L) and the “Flying Altens” prepare the Chandler Fireball for the event. Photo by Peter Cummins

It is Thailand’s - or, rather, Asia’s - first big international regatta of the new millennium. It was, in fact, almost 22 years ago, in November/ December of 1978, that the late Prince Birabongse Bhanubandh, as Commodore of the Fireball Association of Thailand, welcomed participants to the first world yacht-racing championship ever to come to Thai shores - again, as now, also to Asia. That was the Twelfth Fireball World Championship which, like this one, was also held off the Varuna Club at Kasetsin Beach.

The winner of that particularly exciting event was Laurie Smith who, one could surmise, has ‘advanced’ a little since those halcyon days at Pattaya, being now one of the highest-paid yachting professionals in the competitive world of Whitbreads - now the “Volvo Ocean Race” - Admiral’s and America’s Cups.

In the intervening two decades, in spite of a punitive tax levied on yachts, sailing and the marine leisure sector have flourished and Pattaya, particularly, has been avidly solicited as a prime regatta venue.

This is readily understandable. The last yachting world championship - also sponsored by Volvo - was the Topcat Worlds, sailed on Pattaya Bay three years ago this month. On that occasion, the more than 400 sailors, supporters and spectators, mostly from Northern European climes, had come to Thailand’s warm, sunny shores - many of them right out of the bitter, sub-zero temperatures of Europe.

Louis Smyth, Commodore and Andrew Davies, Secretary of Fireball International in the UK, have been the major force behind bringing this event to Thailand again and are un-abashed in their enthusiasm for the event - and Volvo sponsorship - which Louis notes, for many of the competitors “will be a celebration of sailing rather than a bid for a world title.”

There are some 55 participants from Australia, Britain, the Czech Republic, Ireland and Japan. With some 10 entries from host country Thailand, it is a case of “wall-to-wall ‘balls” off South Pattaya.

An interesting entry is that of the Altens - Helge and Christina - who, in the 1980s, were an unbeatable Fireball team. Helge is here also on behalf of sponsor Volvo of which he is the CEO of Volvo Event Management in the UK which will be organizing the next round-the-world race.

The Fireball was designed by Britain’s Peter Milne. However, his creation was not to be as well known as that of his famous brother, A.A. Milne who is the author of the adorable “Winnie the Pooh” story which still enraptures children - and not a few adults - through the years.

Milne’s (Peter, that is) concept was that of a craft easy to build by amateurs at a relatively low cost, that would also be fast and exciting to sail. There are some 20,000 world-wide at Fireball Associations spanning 20 countries from A to Z - like Australia to Zimbabwe.

The big fleet in Thailand was decimated in a fire at the Royal Varuna Club several years ago, though there are still a few “vintage” boats at Varuna and some big fleets at the Sattahip Navy base. The Royal Thai Navy, in fact, has built most of the Fireballs in the Kingdom, using local timbers.

The Volvo Fireball World Championship is a fitting tribute to the memory of Royal Varuna’s beloved sailor, Prince Birabongse Bhanubandh who did so much to promote this great and challenging dinghy in Thailand and, by extension, throughout the region in regattas such as the Asian Fireball Championships, which he pioneered.

Unfortunately, wonderful Prince Bira will not be around to greet the visitors this time, but his influence on yacht racing in Thailand is still felt, even some 15 years after his death. Nevertheless, his widow, the gracious Princess Lom was at the Royal Varuna Yacht Club last weekend, to place the Prince’s imprimatur on the championship.

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Fitness Tips: Weight Loss Checklist II

by David Garred
Club Manager Dusit Resort Sports Club

G’Day Pattaya, now there is a headline that got your attention twice, hasn’t it!

Yep, you have it, as promised the continuation of the questions that you should ask before starting a weight loss program or using a weight loss product.

Questions To Ask

To further assess the Value of the Programs and Products ask the following questions:

Does the program or product guarantee weight loss?

Be cautious of programs or products that guarantee a particular amount of weight loss over a specified time frame. Weight management is a complex issue, so that the amount of weight lost will vary for each individual. The program or product should emphasise that weight loss should be slow and gradual (EG. a kilogram a month is great, maximum is a kilo a week, any more is unsafe for the heart) to ensure fat is lost rather than muscle or water. Any weight loss should come as a result of making lasting changes your behavior.

How does the Program or Product measure your ‘success’?

Weighing does not provide a good indication of the amount of fat on your body, nor does it tell you anything about other aspects of your health. Compulsory or frequent weighing can also lead to body image problems. A range of measures of your health and well being should be used, such as having more energy, feeling less stressed, lower blood pressure, lower blood cholesterol and reduced belt / dress size.

Is the program or Product endorsed or approved by a credible, authoritative organisation?

Endorsement by a celebrity is not enough – they may be well known but they don’t necessarily have credentials in this field. Also be aware that some individuals or organisations may be more interested in financial gain than empowering people to adopt a healthy lifestyle.

Does the food plan contain a variety of foods from all the food groups, i.e. Breads & Cereals, Fruit, Vegetables, Dairy (or dairy substitutes) and Meat (or meat alternatives)?

Be wary of recommendations to eliminate entire food groups as variety helps ensure that you get all the nutrients you need.

Is there flexibility and choice about when, what and how much food you eat?

This is very important as rigid rules lead many people to binge at some stage.

Does the Program or Product provide nutrition education as well as help with changing eating behaviour?

Nutrition education, advice about cooking and shopping skills, as well as tips on modifying your eating behaviour, will all help you adopt and maintain a lifestyle of healthy eating habits.

Does the weight loss Program or Product involve meal replacements e.g. powdered drinks and/or pre-packaged food?

Although these may be helpful in getting you through a difficult time, they are generally not a long-term solution because people get bored with them, and they don’t necessarily help you develop a lifelong approach to healthy eating and regular physical activity, right from the start.

Does the physical activity plan involve only ‘passive exercise’ machines (where body movements are made by machines instead of using your own body muscles)?

These machines rarely aid weight loss. Instead, simply aim to be more active throughout your day. To get the health benefits of being active, gradually build up to accumulating at least 30 minutes per day of moderate physical activity on most days of the week. For example, 10 minutes of walking, 3 times per day.

Will you be able to maintain and enjoy the physical activity and eating plan as part of a long-term and enjoyable healthy lifestyle?

If you can only tolerate the lifestyle recommendations for a few weeks or months, then you are unlikely to gain much long-term benefit.

If you are currently using a weight management program or product:

* Be aware of common side effects of dieting. For example: an increased obsession with food; increased feelings of guilt if you new habits are broken; feeling out of control around or actually participating in binge eating; poor concentration and irritability; or avoiding social situations. If you notice these happening to you, you need a more flexible approach to food and eating.

* Be aware that many things can influence what we eat and when we eat, including stress, boredom, emotions and hormones. So don’t feel guilty if your new habits are broken at certain times. Seek advice on how to manage these triggers without always having to rely on food.

* Remember that there are many ways to measure the success of the lifestyle changes you have made, other than weight loss. Other benefits that should be recognised include having more energy, sleeping better, maintaining your weight and reduced dress or belt size.

* Don’t measure your personal wealth by your weight. That is, “don’t weigh your self-esteem!”

* Check that the changes you have made to your eating and lifestyle are flexible enough for you to be able to maintain for years, rather than weeks.

* You might experience a time when there is no change in your weight, or your weight increases. You do not necessarily cause this and it is certainly not helpful to blame yourself. Remember that weight plateaus are normal and it is the overall pattern of fat loss that is important, not the daily fluctuations of the scales. Your weight plateau or increase could be explained by other factors such as increased muscle mass from being more active, ageing, genetics, life-stage, e.g. Menopause, or going through a stressful life event.

That is it for now campers. To all of you out there using these products / services I sincerely hope that they work out for you.

Carpe’diem and go the panthers!

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Auto Mania: Flashing in your car

by Dr. Iain Corness

There was a very apt editorial comment in one of the other English language newspapers with a motoring column. In fact, it was so good I am prepared to say that it was in the Bangkok Post and the scribe was Alfred Tha Hla.

It was given the catchy head of “Highway flashers expose ignorance” and was an article pointing out the misuse of hazard lights in this country, and the inherent dangers created by this.

Apparently Alfred had been on a motor caravan to Indochina and at dusk had been instructed to use hazard lights when they got to Ubon Ratchathani. As he so correctly pointed out, in town just what does this mean? Are you turning left, right or going straight on?

He also had the ignominy of his erstwhile motoring writer colleagues saying to him, “Stop acting like a farang and use those hazard lights.” Alfred’s conclusion was the question as to whether it is right to compromise basic driving etiquette. His final sentence, “Even in Thailand you do not see motorists using the left signal light to make a right turn ... do you?” had a certain air of hopelessness to it. For many of our local motorcycle jockeys any indicator on at all means it was actually left on by the previous owner in another lifetime!

I agree with Alfred, the use of hazard lights as you approach an intersection is crazy, though it probably means “I am a mobile hazard - please avoid me!” which is generally what the driver is trying to say anyway.

Another interesting Thai idiosyncrasy is the use of flashed headlights. In the UK, Europe and Australia, an oncoming car flashing its headlights means one of two things only - either “After you” at an intersection, or “Watch out, the coppers have a radar trap down the road!” With flashed headlights here meaning, “I’m coming through, come hell or high water” it has led to some interesting situations when ex-pat newbie meets Speedy Somchai in a Bangers bound bus.

Alfred, I feel sorry for you. Reckon you’ll be banging your head on a brick wall though, but keep up the campaign and we’ll make you an “honorary” farang!

Autotrivia Quiz

Last week we asked about the crouching cat - the Jaguar mascot and asked when it first came out and who designed it. The correct answer was that it was designed in 1936 by the artist from Autocar magazine, Frederick Gordon-Crosby, and was first offered as an optional extra in that year. More useless trivia!

So to this week. With Yontrakit in Thailand being now the assembler of some CKD Audi models, it is worth looking back at Audi. While it is now firmly under the VW group, there was a time when it was independent. The four rings on the Audi badge date back to 1932 when Audi, DKW, Horch and Wanderer got together to form the Auto Union group. In that group, one name stands out - Dr. Ferdinand Porsche, who carried out design work for many of them. Many years later, a front engine Audi sports coupe was proposed for Audi by the Porsche Design team. The car was built and put into production - but it wasn’t called an Audi in the end. What was it called? For the Automania FREE beer this week, be the first to fax 427 596 or email [email protected] with the correct answer.

The Cat arrives on the streets

Reports of a red S type Jaguar in town. Not the old classic, but the new “classic”. These cars were displayed at last year’s Bangkok International Motor Show and really do look good in the metal. They don’t look bad in the photographs either, but nothing like they do up close.

Technically, they are excellent. The injection of Ford money and technology has done the crouching cat no harm at all. The S types come with two engines, both all aluminium - a V6 quad cam 3.0 litre producing 240 neddies or a 4.0 litre V8 with 281 horses under the hood.

One of the V6 options is a light-weight 5 speed Getrag manual gearbox, while the V8 only comes with 5 speed auto shift. Traction control comes as standard with all sorts of other electronic gizmos to monitor and adjust suspension settings, power output and the rest. The electronic controls are reported as being able to transmit data at 700 messages per second, which certainly beats my office boy who can almost struggle up to 3 messages a day with 75% accuracy.

The suspension is double wishbone front and rear, with heaps of alloy to keep the unsprung weight to a minimum. Braking is by ventilated discs front and rear with full ABS and other electronic marvels.

The S type truly is a car for the new century, with voice actuation controls that Jaguar claim will recognise English and North American accents (bet it stumbles with Aussie nasality) and a full on-board Sat-Nav system.

The audio freaks (and there’s plenty in Pattaya, carting around huge amplifiers) will love the Jag. How about the 175 watt, 12 speaker system complete with Digital, Dolby and the works. This car is the Albert Hall, capable of 240 kph and finding its own way home.

Price? Does it matter? None of my friends have deep enough pockets for one of these little babies over here. But somebody has! If anyone knows who owns it, give me a bell!

Bernie sez it all!

Remember the piece on the F1 track for Thailand a couple of weeks back? SPEEDPARK Thailand was the name for the project and it has been “hot” news for many months. At the time I mentioned that the F1 people who matter had no knowledge on the subject, including Mr. F1 himself, Bernie Ecclestone.

The Editor of an internet F1 site (www.planet-f1.com) is a mate of mine and he again contacted Bernie E who replied, “People tend to use my name to open doors that should not be opened and in particular Thailand, as we do not have any intention of granting a round of the World Championship there at the moment, nor do we have any contacts there.”

That’s straight from the horse’s mouth. As I mentioned before, there’s a lot more to it than laying down some asphalt hotmix and sending out letters of invitation. It doesn’t work that way!

Quite frankly, the Bira circuit is a good little track and we should be using it more, rather than get excited about something that would be, at best (if it really happened) a white elephant.

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