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Family Money: Help
Needed
By Leslie
Wright
If you live an international lifestyle it makes sense
that you should be making best use of your opportunities and benefitting
from the tax advantages offered offshore.
So if you were seeking help with your personal
financial planning and investment strategy, what qualities would you look
for in a financial adviser?
Some readers will immediately react to that question
with the riposte that they don’t need any help, thank you all the same.
Fine. If you have the interest, and expertise, and
access to the specialised information with which to make informed and
objective decisions (rather than whimsical or subjective ones) with regard
to your financial health, good luck to you.
Other readers will say they would rather listen to a
friend’s investment advice than one of these so-called ‘experts’.
Well, if they were taken sick, most people would not
pay much heed to a friend’s advice unless that friend was a qualified
physician.
When it comes to their financial health, however, some
people are all too willing to listen to a drinking buddy’s investment
advice (however misguided this may be) rather than seek the help of a
professional adviser.
An experienced professional adviser can be of great
help with your personal financial planning. Obviously, someone dealing
exclusively with international clients will have developed specialist
knowledge and experience that can be used to your advantage.
The need for advice
One of the main reasons why professional advice on
savings and investment is needed is that people do not know how to
identify their own savings and investment needs.
This is partly because they do not know the financial
planning analysis process; partly because they are guided more by wishes
(or perceived needs) than by actual needs; and partly because, without
prompting, most people concentrate on short-term spending rather than on
longer-term financial planning.
The tendency to spend rather than save is further
strengthened by the fact that the immediate appeal of consumer goods (or
having fun) is more evident and persuasive than the intangible, future
benefits of saving.
With interest rates still at historically low levels,
few people can afford to rely on returns from money in a savings account
to provide effectively for their financial futures. Most people therefore
look elsewhere to make their money work effectively for them.
And this is where most people get thoroughly confused.
Every day in the press there are adverts for ‘flavour-of-the-week’
investment funds; their offshore bank may be offering them various types
of investments, and their local bank the wonderful opportunity that the
latest issue of Thai government bonds presents. (The fact that these
latter are being issued to offset the massive debt burden of failed banks
and finance companies is beside the point - and a story for another week.)
But no two people’s financial goals and aspirations
are ever quite the same. Nor are their needs and circumstances. Each has
to be carefully evaluated, and their individual needs identified,
quantified and prioritised.
To help you devise the most appropriate investment
strategy for your particular needs, circumstances and financial goals, and
objectively explain the myriad investment schemes available nowadays - and
help you avoid the scams - you need the guidance of an experienced
professional adviser.
You’ll find there’s no shortage of willing
volunteers to help you secure a bright financial future for you and your
family. Some brokerages employ legions of boys and girls to phone up
everyone they can contact on every list and directory they can get their
hands on. Some of my clients receive calls every week from these
‘cold-callers’ offering financial planning and investment advice. Some
of them are very persuasive, and some may even be genuinely interested in
helping you. But how would you react to someone phoning you up to offer
you free medical advice?
And what if you’re not on one of the lists these guys
use? If you’re retired and don’t belong to any clubs or associations,
for instance? How do you make an informed choice?
Well, one way is by talking to friends. (You do have
friends, don’t you?) Ask them who they use for their financial advice.
And what their experiences have been.
Word of mouth is the surest way to find a reliable firm
with an established reputation for providing objective client-orientated
professional advice.
Another reason for seeking professional advice lies in
the fact that most people are unaware of the full range of financial
products available to them. They are therefore not in a position to match
their needs to the most suitable form of investment.
Even those who have amassed fortunes from their own
businesses are often not knowledgeable about the opportunities available
using financial planning products and techniques. Such well-off people can
afford to employ experts to make investments on their behalf; but many
people with equally little knowledge of investments are not in such a
fortunate position.
Similarly, a large number of people who hold
investments in, say, stock market securities do not understand what they
own and have no idea whether or not the investment is suitable to their
needs. In some cases, they inherited the shares from a deceased spouse or
parent and haven’t a clue how they’re performing or what their value
is. Others bought shares on a whim or because of what they heard on the TV
business news. This is not financial planning or strategic investing,
it’s speculation.
Even investors who are aware of the main forms of
investment open to them find there is a bewildering choice of each kind of
investment product - and there will almost certainly be many more vehicles
of which they will not be aware.
Before making any investments, you should consider if
these are appropriate to your own circumstances and investment strategy.
(You do have a strategy, don’t you? Or do you just buy some units in a
few funds that you fancy or because their performance over the past year -
as advertised in the press - was outstanding?)
A huge variety of offshore investment options is
available nowadays, encompassing thousands of funds and insurance based
investments.
Very few people have the ability to compare investment
products in order to identify which is most suitable for their needs and
which is likely to be the best value for their money. This is where a
professional adviser can help.
Equally, few people are able to evaluate the multitude
of companies that offer investment products in today’s highly
sophisticated financial services industry, nor gauge their ability to
produce good investment performance in the future.
For such an evaluation, they need the services of an
adviser with a wide knowledge of the market and full understanding of the
products on offer.
A professional adviser will also know which kind of
products offer the most tax-efficient return for the individual investor,
after taking into account the tax treatment of the product and the tax
position of the client.
There is no single type of product that is the most
tax-efficient for all clients. Many savings and investment products are
quite complex and need a skilled adviser to explain them.
What guarantees?
The distinction between guaranteed and un-guaranteed
returns needs to be fully understood by potential investors, as does the
negative effect of any risks attached to un-guaranteed benefits.
Even the precise meaning of the word ‘guaranteed’
needs to be clarified. In some products, it means there will be an
absolute guarantee of a fixed amount of money; in others the guarantee may
apply only to a percentage of the benefit or depend upon the fulfilment of
certain assumptions.
In short, every investment vehicle contains a mixture
of advantages and disadvantages for the client. Investors need to
understand fully the disadvantages which are usually set out in the fine
print; this often requires the services of an expert financial adviser.
Then, when it comes to constructing the portfolio -
selecting the ‘horses’ that will pull your ‘cart’ - managing risk
is an important consideration. Most amateur investors have no idea how to
go about evaluating the potential risk involved with their investments,
let alone managing it.
Another aspect is tax-efficiency. If you plan to return
to your country of origin at some time in the future, careful handling of
your finances is essential to ensure you don’t potentially throw away
the tax benefits you have enjoyed offshore by a lack of planning when the
time comes to return.
For all these reasons, people need expert advice from
financial advisers. Without professional help, far too many people will
make inappropriate investments. Worse still, many more will do nothing.
They will never accumulate the capital they need or they will continue to
hold inappropriate investments.
Objective guidance
A professional financial adviser can help you in
identifying your real needs, and then quantifying and prioritising these
with you; and then offering you objective advice as to which types of
investment are most appropriate to meeting these different needs with the
resources you have available, and discussing the options that are open to
you.
However, many clients do not see their financial
adviser as the equivalent of the family doctor. They rely on their medical
doctor’s professional advice with respect to their physical health,
often without question; but rarely do they accept their financial
adviser’s advice in the same way.
One of the reasons for this is that, sadly, the
financial adviser is all too often not an objective, experienced
professional with his client’s best interests in mind. His principal
motivation is either his firm’s or his own self-interests.
Fortunately (in my view), the international financial
services industry is becoming increasingly more regulated. Strict
professional standards are now applied in such environments as the U.S.A.
and U.K. (and even Hong Kong where a free-wheeling laissez faire attitude
prevailed in the past), and regulatory bodies given the power to enforce
them.
This has raised the professional standards of the
industry and weeded out a lot of the ‘cowboys’ whose dubious practices
in the past have tended to give the industry a poor reputation.
In less well-regulated regimes (such as Thailand, for
instance), some professionally ethical firms have established
self-regulatory protocols and strict procedural guidelines for their
financial consultants - but these firms are unfortunately few and far
between.
(to be continued next week)
Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster
Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial
advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard
on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have
any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning
investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or
e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be
accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com.
Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to
which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return
address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have
not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to
your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a
contact phone/fax number.
The Computer Doctor
by Richard Bunch
Continuing the Windows 2000 theme, this week I’ll
continue with scheduling Disk Defragmenter.
You should certainly schedule file-server
defragmentation during off-peak hours to minimize the effects on server
performance, and ideally even workstations and stand alone desktops should
be done off-peak. Unfortunately, Windows 2000 doesn’t include a way to
schedule disk defragmentation, one of the very few omissions over Windows
98 and I think rather significant.
As it isn’t possible to execute DFRGNTFS.EXE from a
command prompt, you can’t use a batch file or task scheduler to schedule
the process. Don’t forget it also needs to be configured as well.
However, you can run it from a Visual Basic script that runs the tool at
scheduled intervals. The script starts the defragmentation process and
closes the window when it’s finished. Use the Scheduled Tasks tool,
located in System Tools, to schedule this script. Be sure you select the
Advanced tab to configure several additional options.
Here is the script - use Notepad or other
non-formatting editor to create it and then save it as DEFRAG.VBS (make
sure you preserve the format and save it with the .VBS extension NOT .TXT
which is the Notepad default)
‘This script launches defrag and sends keys to the UI
in order to automate the defrag’ process.
set WshShell = CreateObject (“WScript.Shell”)
‘Launch Defrag from the command line and wait for a
second
WshShell.Run “dfrg.msc”
WScript.Sleep 1000
‘Wait until the application has loaded - Check every
second
While WshShell.AppActivate (“Disk Defragmenter”) =
FALSE
wscript.sleep 1000
Wend
‘Bring the application to the foreground
WshShell.AppActivate “Disk Defragmenter”
WScript.Sleep 200
‘Send an ALT-A key to bring down the defrag menu
WshShell.SendKeys “%A”
WScript.Sleep 200
‘Send a D to start the defrag
WshShell.SendKeys “D”
‘Wait until the defrag is completed - Check for
window every 5 seconds
While WshShell.AppActivate (“Defragmentation
Complete”) = FALSE
wscript.sleep 5000
Wend
‘Bring the msgbox to the foreground
WshShell.AppActivate “Defragmentation Complete”
WScript.Sleep 200
‘Send a tab key to move the focus from View Report
button to the Close Button
WshShell.Sendkeys “{TAB}”
Wscript.Sleep 500
‘Send key to Close the Defragmentation Complete
window
WshShell.Sendkeys “{ENTER}”
Wscript.Sleep 500
‘Send and ALT-F4 to Close the Defrag program
WshShell.Sendkeys “%{F4}”
If you can’t face this, then the simpler solution is
to purchase Diskeeper from Executive Software http://www.diskeeper.com. It
costs $44.95 on-line. The Defragmenter included with Windows 2000 is a
stripped down version of this product, recommendation indeed.
Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or
E-mail to [email protected].
The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily
those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.
Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer
Technologies Co., Ltd. Providing professional information technology and
Internet services which includes; custom database and application
development; website design, promotion and hosting; domain name
registration; turnkey e-commerce solutions; computer and peripheral sales
service and repairs, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. For
further information, please e-mail [email protected]
or telephone/fax 038 716 816 or see our website www.act.co.th
Successfully Yours: Colin
Bartlett
By Mirin MacCarthy
Colin Bartlett, born in Darlington in the U.K., had a
somewhat different family life from most people. His father was an accountant
- but in the army, and was posted all over the U.K., Germany, Malaysia,
Singapore and Europe. This gave Colin the travel bug early, but initially this
was stymied as Bartlett Senior sent him to boarding school in the U.K. when he
was fourteen.
 “Escaping”
from school, Colin was still undecided on his career choice when he graduated,
but he took a job in a department store as a trainee manager. That company
could not hold him down, so Colin then worked for Adams Aviation in the U.K.
for six years and followed in his father’s footsteps joining the Accountancy
Department. He rose to become the Company Accountant, a position he held for
three and a half years.
But the travel bug needed feeding, too. Colin first came to
Thailand in 1989 for a holiday and was severely bitten by the Thai bug right
then. So when he was offered a job as an Office Administrator and Company
Accountant in Hong Kong in 1993 he took it with both hands. “That was as
close as I could get to Thailand without actually having a job here. I have
had a long period of getting to know Thailand,” Colin grinned.
His connection to this country became really strong through
romantic circumstances. “I met my Thai wife Kai seven years ago and it was
love at first sight.” His company had a branch office over here and so Colin
commuted between Hong Kong and here between 1996 and 1998 - a long distance
connection indeed.
However, the next step was to branch out from the Hong Kong
base. In 1998 he met Gordon Sutton and the pair decided to set up in
partnership together in Bangkok. They combined both their surnames names and
called the business the Sutlet Group. That was one and a half years ago and
they have not looked back since. Through this career move, Colin had also
managed to use the opportunity to really put down his roots in this country.
Originally their business was set up supplying promotional
material for other companies, such as hats, pens, lighters, mouse pads and key
rings. Then, as they wanted to diversify their company, they were given the
opportunity and staff to branch into Thai visas, work permits, company
registration and accountancy. In eighteen months, that’s what they call a
“growth industry”! So now the Sutlet group has two distinct branches of
which Colin manages the promotions group.
Despite all the intense and rapid activity on the business
side, having a family has had the biggest impact on Colin’s life. “If I
can provide for my friends and family I will be very happy. Success to me
means something completely different from what it did before. The welfare of
my family and partner and staff of nine in our company comes first. It means I
can do what I want to do successfully so every one around me can benefit.”
It is certainly nice to see the “old school” touch where Colin has made
his business part of his extended family, too.
However, Colin devotes his spare time to his immediate
family and Sunday is family day. “I refuse to turn on a computer on Sundays,
because that’s the day we take the children swimming or to a theme park. Now
having a family has developed a larger outlook on life for me. I think it is
important to teach children right from wrong, the importance of education and
the value of money. For me personally, I treat others as I expect them to
treat me. Reliability and honesty are essential.”
Colin, the man who had the travel bug, really enjoys his
life here, and his plans for the future are to stay and to continue to build
up his company and employ more staff for his extended family growth. He is
also looking forward to taking care of his parents when they come over here at
the end of the year. Colin’s family responsibilities just seem to grow and
grow!
He does have some very salient recommendations for
newcomers to Thailand, as he was once himself, and not so long ago either. His
advice to others who wish to set up in business here is, “Do it properly and
comply with all aspects of the law.” The voice of experience is speaking,
but how often do people tend to ignore it. I have the feeling that Colin
Bartlett, complete with his promotional hat is going to be here for some time.
Footnote: You can meet Colin next Friday at Shenanigans,
where he is one of the sponsors for the British Chamber of Commerce Thailand
Pub Night!
Snap Shots: Still
Life for some photo action
by Harry Flashman
One of the most amazingly creative and satisfying
aspects of photography can be Still Life shooting. The ability to position
and light a subject to produce a pleasing result can fill up an entire
day. In fact, the pros can take a couple of days to get a still life shot
just right. That’s right. A couple of days!
 You
see, there are so many aspects to be covered in still life photography. It
is not just a case of placing the subject on a sheet of paper and pushing
the button. Still life photography teaches you every important aspect of
the artistic side of photography, as well as honing up your basic
photographic skills.
The first great thing about still life shots is the
subject doesn’t complain and tell you to hurry up and “Is my mascara
smudged?” You can also just pick up the subject and move it in any
direction to suit the shot. Oh yes, there are many advantages in having a
silent subject!
Let us begin with lighting. The secret to all still
life shots is to have two light sources. This can be daylight plus flash,
two flashes, electric lights, daylight and a mirror - but you need two.
One to basically light the subject and the other to light the background.
Lighting the background isolates the subject from the
background and makes your subject the “hero” in the shot.
The other secret in the lighting is to produce a
diffused light source. With an un-diffused light, you will get far too
many distracting shadows, which with small tabletop objects can ruin the
overall effect. You can diffuse your lighting by shining it through some
scrim cloth, transparent net curtain material or through some frosted
plexiglass - the sort of material they have over fluoro lights, for
example.
The next important item in still life photography is
your own eye. You will find there are even books on the subject, but what
you have to do is to look at your table top and arrange the items in a
manner that is pleasing to your eye. Do you want them overlapping, or at
some distance from each other? Generally there is one dominant item -
bring it to the foreground and then arrange the supporting items after
that.
Having got that far and you are now pleased with the
composition, you then have to look through your camera. Ayee! It doesn’t
look the same as it did with the naked eye! That is because of the
differences between the lens and your eye’s focal length. You now have
to look through the camera and adjust the tabletop items to produce the
pleasing composition you saw with your own eye. Yes, this takes time, and
now you can see why the pros take so long!
So you now have the composition - you have to light it.
This is where daylight or tungsten light becomes easier than flash - at
least with the sun’s (filtered) rays or diffused tungsten you can see
what you are going to get. (In the pro studio, the flash units have
tungsten “modelling” lights so that you can get the idea of how the
flash will illuminate the subject, before popping the shutter.)
Generally, I light the background first, then bring in
the foreground (subject) lighting, carefully noting “spill” of one
light source into the area of the other. Again, this can take hours! In
fact, you can change the whole look of a tabletop scene just with the
balance of lighting used.
Remember too, that the exposure settings used in the
camera depend upon the foreground lighting (not the background), and for
most situations (but not all) the background can be brighter than the
foreground, to “wash” it out a little. But again this is
experimentation.
No, in still life photography it is not easy to get the
result you want, even though it sounds straightforward. Perhaps it is
easier to help the model fix her mascara after all!
Modern Medicine: Schisto
what?
by Dr Iain Corness
There is a very interesting disease called
Schistosomiasis, but if that is too difficult to get your tongue around,
it is also called Bilharzia. Schisto is always interesting, even if it is
only because it is the second most deadly parasitic disease after Malaria.
Now that’s made you sit up and take notice hasn’t it?
The parasites in this condition enter the human body as
larvae and invade the liver via the blood stream, where they happily grow
larger until they mature. Having reached the age of sexual consent, the
parasites then rush off into the venous system where they breed and lay
eggs. The eggs are then pushed into the bowel and bladder, where they are
then excreted from the human body.
The saga does not end there. If the eggs land up in
fresh water, they are absorbed by snails - absorbing tale altogether,
isn’t it! The eggs then turn into larvae, get released back into the
water, where they swim into the human through cracks between your toes or
whatever and away we go again.
The disease gets its mortality rates through the
physical presence of the blood flukes (worms) and the eggs. These can
result in urinary obstruction, renal failure, liver failure and even a
space occupying lesion in the brain. None of which are particularly nice
ways to shuffle off this mortal coil.
Now those of you with your well thumbed medical
dictionaries may have already seen that this is principally a disease seen
in visitors to Africa (in fact about 10% of travellers who have been
exposed to fresh water in Southern Africa return home with a belly full of
liver flukes) but you can also get it (or more correctly, “them”) in
South America, the Middle East, the West Indies, China, the Philippines
and Indonesia. Getting a little close for comfort now, isn’t it?
One huge problem as far as diagnosing this little
fellow is that very often there are no symptoms until there is a large
build-up of the blighters. You can go chasing for eggs in the urine and
faeces, but very often there isn’t enough of them to make that a 100%
accurate method. The best way is a screening blood test, but this has to
be done three to six months after exposure.
There is treatment for the blood fluke and large lumps
of “praziquantel” twice a day for three days are usually enough to get
a 100% withdrawal of the worms, though it is always best to re-check
twelve months later.
So the next time you are paddling in the Philippines or
idling in Indonesia - keep your wellies on! You don’t want
Schistosomiasis - or even Bilharzia for that matter.
Dear Hillary,
I have noticed that my husband of some five years is
coming home from a “night at the pub with the boys” with what looks to
be talcum powder or baby powder all over his shoes. This seems very
peculiar, and I suspect he is putting on the talcum after he has been
showering somewhere other than at home. I am getting quite edgy about
this. What do you think, Hillary? Up till now I have never had reason to
be suspicious, but what should I look for next? Lipstick on the collar?
Worried
Dear Worried,
No worries. Most men do not get talcum powder on their
shoes after a shower, unless your mate showers in his socks and shoes,
whereupon you should really get worried. Does he have some sort of a shoe
fetish? Have you ever stopped to consider that he might be playing pool
and powdering his hand - a pursuit usually done while wearing shoes?
Remember your soul mate should not be your cellmate. Lighten up and get
out yourself.
Dear Hillary,
They are doing alterations in my office building, and
there is a little man coming in every day with a jackhammer and it sounds
as if he is drilling his way through to Singapore. It is going on forever
and it is giving me a giant headache. What can I do about this? Who should
I complain to? Is this normal in this country?
Headache
Dear Headache,
You do have a bunch of questions, don’t you petal. No
it is not normal. Most people when going to Singapore just catch a plane.
Honestly, though, just talk to whomever ordered the work. Can the
alterations be done at night? Can you take a week off work? In the
meantime, wear ear muffs and smile a lot. Get a perverse pleasure out of
making them think you like it.
Dear Hillary,
I want to go back to my home in America, but my husband
says that he is staying here. We are both semi-retired and have lived in
Pattaya for the past four years. My husband could still get a well paying
job back in the States, and our standard of living would be much higher
than it is here, where we have to watch every nickel. Have you any idea
why he should be like this, and what can I do to make him see sense? He is
very adamant that he will never go back to America, for any reason. Is
this reasonable?
Sylvia
Dear Sylvia,
Don’t be a silly Sylvia. Have you ever stopped to
consider that perhaps your husband doesn’t really care how much (or
little) money he makes here? You must have discussed the move to Thailand
before you left America - so surely you can discuss any proposed departure
from here too. However, if he digs his heels in, then you have two choices
- stay here or leave. Surely after four years here you are still not
homesick? On the other hand, perhaps your husband doesn’t like the IRS?
Or the FBI?
Dear Hillary,
Can you help me with your always invaluable advice? The
new Shenanigans Pub opening last week was a most enjoyable event which I
probably celebrated just a little bit “too mutt”, so when I got home,
I forgot to take out my contact lenses. The next morning I woke up with
the lenses welded to my eyes. So far I have had five attempts to remove
them with no success. If I have to go to the eye specialist to get them
removed, can I sue Kilkenny’s?
Contact Karl
Dear Karl,
You should stick to drinking less sticky brands of beer
in future. In the meantime go and get a bottle of lubricating lens drops
to keep for further emergencies. As far as suing Kilkenny’s is
concerned, I would imagine they would get some amusement from your letter.
Why not ask Kim Fletcher to keep one lens in Guinness and the other in
Kilkenny and see which is the stickiest? People have done more stupid
things in his bar, I’m sure.
Dear Hillary,
I am 17 years old and have just arrived from Down Under
and I was wondering if you think there would be any jobs in the bar and
entertainment industry for someone like me? I have experience in bars and
worked for a while in McDonalds after school. I have met a young lady here
and I would like to stay here to go with her. Is this going to be easy, or
should I look at something else?
Adam
Dear Adam,
You certainly have come down in the last shower,
haven’t you my petal. That line of work is very hazardous for foreigners
in this country, and experience at asking someone if they’d like some
fries to go with that is just not good enough, I’m afraid. I’m afraid
I think the romance will be a “to go” item. Never mind, you’ll soon
be old enough to drink in Oz as well. Better luck next year.
GRAPEVINE
|
Insect fight
Three bored skinheads from Liverpool ended
up in hospital after deciding to liven up the evening’s drinking
marathon in Soi Yamoto by having a competition to see who could kill
the most mosquitoes in ten minutes. There was some spasmodic clapping
of hands and a rather unsuccessful attempt to swipe at the winged
beasties with a battery operated mesh bat, which, as it turned out,
had no battery in it. An ambulance was called after the frustrated
competitors started spraying each other with Baygon. A 26 year old
Merseysider nicknamed Singha Sid said later, “I knew something was
wrong after I passed out on the floor.”
End of an era
Nothing is forever it seems. Boys Town, the
US refuge for wayward boys which became famous in the 1938 Spencer
Tracy film of the same name, has finally gone co-ed. It has renamed
itself Girls and Boys Town. “It’s now about half boys and half
girls, so this is the proper time to change the long established
name,” said a spokesman. It is not yet known whether a Pattaya
street, known as Boyz Town, is considering following suit. On balance,
probably not.
Highway patrol
A farang, stopped for speeding on Sukhumvit
Highway near Jomtien, was shown a large cardboard clock face with
figures painted on it from 70 to 200 and was asked to point to one of
the numbers. The Frenchman proceeded to move the pointer to 70 and
handed over a fifty baht note and two ten baht coins. It took about
half an hour to sort out the communication confusion. The officer was
asking the farang to point to the actual speed he thought he was doing
before producing the hard evidence from the radar trap black box. The
farang believed the officer was asking him to choose a spot fine
appropriate to his particular offence. Obviously he went for the
minimum. No point in paying more than you need to, eh?
Traditional heating
There’s an Italian restaurant out on
Naklua Road which uses a wood burning oven to cook your pizza. At Il
Mulino, you can choose your own toppings from the usual list. The
pasta dishes are said to be tasty and the wines are reasonably priced.
When GEOC (Grapevine Eating Out Collective) paid a visit, the
restaurant was quiet but there seemed to be a brisk take away trade.
It’s on your right as you drive towards Naklua, on the opposite side
of the road from Soi Wong Amat.
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Twelve months’ visa change
Under the old regulations, once you applied
for a twelve months’ visa, you could not leave the country (without
voiding the application) until Bangkok immigration had approved the
paperwork in your particular case. But now it seems you can ask for a
re-entry permit before the usual two months’ wait for the final go
ahead. Those applying for retirement visas or a twelve months’ stay
linked to a work permit could benefit from the rule change if they
need to leave Thailand for a short while. Ask your friendly
immigration contact if this applies to you.
Farang bank accounts again
Pattaya Mail is still getting queries from
worried farangs who think they may have to close their account by
Christmas if they lack a work permit or a residency book. As we have
reported in recent weeks, the latest Bank of Thailand regulations
specify only a valid passport, an ID from your own country (a driving
licence would suffice) and confirmation from the immigration bureau of
your current address in Thailand. But it is still a matter for the
individual bank whether they want your money or not. If you have a
bank account already, you may be asked for this documentation when you
need to replace a full passbook. Don’t panic, just shop around.
Benefits of being over 60
In a hostage situation, you get released
first.
You’re less likely to be targeted for sexual
harassment.
Nobody expects you to run into a burning building.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
You no longer lie on the floor to watch TV.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You have a party and the neighbors don’t even
hear it.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
Your secrets are safe because your friends can’t
remember them either.
Speed limits are no longer a challenge.
You turn to the obituaries first in The
International Telegraph.
The price of gasoline is a favorite conversation
topic.
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Dining Out: The
Rice Mill Restaurant comes of age
by Miss Terry Diner
The Rice Mill has now been operating for almost a year. The
Dining Out Team has eaten there before and it had given us a very good initial
impression. Now many months later we joined Resident Manager of the Royal Garden
Resort, Bjorn Richardson, for dinner.
 The
ambience and decor are superb, with the Chinese theme running all the way
through, from the unique wooden chairs, the red carpet, Chinese urns,
“cheongsammed” waitresses, silver tipped chop sticks and Chinese soup spoon
and rest as well.
As soon as we were seated, we were given cold towels with a
wonderful lemon grass scent - very different and very nice. Like all Chinese
restaurants, the menu tends to be enormous, but the Rice Mill has limited its
offerings to around 90 items. However, there are also the special promotions
(including a 50% reduction on certain dishes every day) and the Chef’s
recommendations menus as well. On top of that, there are four set menus for
those who are a trifle unsure of how to go through a Chinese banquet (between
250-350-450-550 baht) and the 199 baht Dim Sum offer.
The menu proper has three prices beside most items,
indicating Small, Medium or Large and begins with Hot and Cold Appetizers and is
followed by ten soups including five shark’s fin soup varieties.
The mains come next, with six pork favourites, including
BBQ’d suckling pig and pork spare ribs (250 baht Large), four beef dishes,
fried and sauteed, five chicken styles, two duck choices, seven prawn dishes,
thirteen fish dishes including a steamed whole garoupa in soya sauce (380 baht).
These are followed by six scallop choices (all 500 baht Large) and then some
abalone. The rest of the menu includes a couple of pages of bean curd and
vegetables along with noodles and fried rice, all about 200 baht for a large
plate. Then there are the desserts with such Chinese peculiarities in it as
Gingo nuts for 80 baht.
Of course there is also a comprehensive wine list and we
chose a Tarapaca Chardonnay from the Maipo Valley in Chile. This turned out to
be an excellent choice (thank you, Bjorn) - slightly “woody”, plenty of body
and good value at around 1200 baht for wine of this quality.
Between us we ordered a braised beef in oyster sauce (clay
pot), a Hong Kong steamed prawn and soya sauce, deep fried snow fish Hong Kong
style, a Hokkien style fried rice and an iceberg lettuce with oyster sauce.
In front of you are placed four dishes with a chilli sauce,
Chinese black vinegar, vinegar with chopped chilli and lastly a soya sauce, all
to use as liberally as you would like. For me, the Chinese vinegar was just
superb!
The first dish to arrive was the prawns. These were beautiful
and the sauce with the sliced cooked garlic was exceptional. So much so that
Madame had to be restrained from drinking it off the spoon!
The beef in the clay pot was next and fell apart with gentle
pressure from the chopsticks alone. Succulent and tender. The lettuce was next
and cleaned the palate for the snow fish, which Bjorn claims is really haddock
(the jury might be out on that one!). Whatever, it was excellent - no matter
what its mother called it. Thick, juicy, tender fish steaks.
The rice arrived at the same time, and I have to say, without
a word of a lie, this was the best fried rice I have ever tasted. Try putting a
little of the piquant Chinese vinegar on top and you have the taste sensation
for the millennium. Definitely my dish of the night, while Madame chose the snow
fish as hers.
There is no doubt that this restaurant has come of age. The
food, presentation and service were all first class. A welcome addition to the
top range Chinese restaurants in Pattaya. Highly recommended.
The Rice Mill Restaurant, 3rd Floor Royal Garden Plaza,
overlooking Beach Road (038) 412 120.
Animal Crackers:
Are you a bird person?
by Mirin
MacCarthy
It takes a rare person to be a responsible bird owner and
not everybody is suited to sharing a home with companion birds. With the
exception of tiny finches, budgerigars and canaries, birds are just not
domesticated animals. Even captive-bred birds are only a generation or two
from the wild with all the instincts of a wild thing.
Birds need to fly
Birds are beautiful, wild things and need to be given
enough room to fly. It is cruel and unnatural to keep birds in tiny cages.
It is simply inhumane to chain a bird to a perch or stand. It is also
dangerous, leaving no escape if attacked or startled but to dangle and
perhaps break a leg. Even small birds need the biggest cages possible. Three
times the birds extended wingspan is the minimum size suitable for a cage.
Horizontal flying space is more important than height as birds fly across,
not vertically up and down like helicopters. Active fast flying lorikeets
and big birds such as cockatoos and macaws should be in a large flight
aviary.
Minds of their own
Parrots have minds of their own, decide whom they will
love, whom to hate and when and if they will talk or scream for attention.
Some birds like African Greys, usually renowned for their talking ability,
simply do not talk. Many people are not prepared to make the psychological
adjustments to happily sharing their homes with free spirited birds. It is
rather like living with a dotty, unpredictable but favoured relative; not
all your friends or mates are likely to be as entranced or even as accepting
as you.
Parrots are very intelligent and go through development
stages as they mature and assert their will like rebellious teenagers. They
are not so easy to live with and it takes a calm, persistent person to teach
a parrot limits without aggression.
Time for attention
Parrots need lots of attention and interaction. They are
not for people who have too little time. We have removed birds from their
natural socializing in flocks and therefore must provide the companionship
and interaction for them. Owning a parrot is simply not like having a dog or
a cat, which is content with the occasional pat and kind word. A parrot
needs progressive training, to be taken out of its cage and allowed to
monopolize your attention for at least a half an hour every evening. It will
sit on your shoulder or lap while you tickle its head or under its wings. It
must be taught how to chew and play with its toys, not your furniture.
Finches, canaries and budgerigars do not need as much attention from their
people and so may be an option for those with busy life-styles.
High maintenance
Obsessively neat people should not consider owning
companion birds. Even small cockatiels make a large mess. There will always
be the odd feathers and seed and droppings to deal with. Like us, birds need
a varied diet; they cannot exist happily on a handful of seeds. Be prepared
to supply them fruit and vegetables, nuts, grain, and fresh drinking and
bathing water daily.
Allergies
Many cockatoos and parrots have powder down in their
feathers, which is readily inhaled. Companion bird keeping is not for anyone
with asthma or respiratory problems.
Do it right
Under the right circumstances companion birds can be a
rewarding part of family life, but it does take much consideration and
adjustment and the rare person who is prepared for the constant work and
attention.
Down The Iron Road:
‘Garratts’ - The Champion Artics-1
by John D.
Blyth
Introduction
To the British engineer, Herbert William Garratt must get
the credit for what could have been developed into the most outstanding
articulated steam locomotive type of all; it was beautifully simple in
concept, consisting of two power bogies differing in no main detail from
orthodox steam locomotive practice, with the boiler mounted on a separate
frame, each end of which was pivoted on one of the power bogies. Normally,
the front power bogie carried a tank for water supplies, the rear bogie
carrying the fuel, and perhaps some more water. There was nothing under the
boiler to inhibit its size, or the depth of fire grate and ash-pan, often a
difficulty on ‘orthodox” locomotives. The troubles with overhang of
boilers at the front of big Mallets, or Fairlies was eliminated, the main
overhang being at the center of the boiler. Garratt patented his idea in
1907, but had much difficulty in interesting British locomotive builders in
its merits. It just so happened that at the time the Manchester firm of
Beyer Peacock & Co. had an enquiry for two small articulate locomotives
from a 2 foot gauge railway in Tasmania, and they accepted the Garratt
principle.
 Baddeslet
Colliery’s small Garratt (standard gauge) crosses the ‘busy’ London
Holyhead Road in January 1964.
These two small engines had features that did not
re-appear; their cylinders were placed at the inner ends of the power
bogies, where there was little room, and they were compounds, the rear bogie
having the high-pressure cylinders. Only one other compound Garratt was ever
built, a 2-8-0+0-8-2 for the meter gauge Burma Railways - it was not a
success, and although a number of later schemes have been seen they did not
come to anything. (It is customary to place a “+” sign between the
groups of wheels when the Whyte system of wheel notation is used for a
Garratt).
These small Garratts had no publicity, but very soon
another 2 foot gauge line, the famous and formidable Darjeeling - Himalaya
Railway in India ordered an 0-4-0+0-4-0 Garratt, which this time had some of
the earlier errors eliminated; even so it was not rated a big success - even
though it lasted for44 years! By contrast, the Tasmanians returned the
world’s first Garratt to its makers when its useful life ended; it
remained in Manchester until the company went out of business, when it was
sold to the Festiniog Railway in North Wales. The intention to use it on
this line, after some alterations, was not realized, and until recently it
was on view at the National Railway Museum in York. It is now back in Wales,
being restored to working order for service on the re-opened Welsh Highland
Railway.
 Spanish
5 ft. 6 in. gauge express Garratt No. 462 0401, built in Spain in 1930,
reduced to freight working at Zaragoza, in 1955.
From these small beginnings came one of the really great
series of locomotives, but Garratt, who died in 1913, did not live to see
their development beyond small locomotives on narrow gauge lines. It may be
that Beyer Peacock had no early special interest, as they have a license to
St. Leonard, a locomotive builder in Liege, Belgium, to build some Garratts
for a tiny line, the Mayumbe Railway in the Belgian Congo. A tiny engine,
too, weighing 23.5 tons; yet this is how the Garratt came to the continent
where it was to be most used and did the finest work.
I have no good photographs of the Tasmanian Garratts, so
have included a drawing; the photograph of the Mayumbe Garratt is an
official one.
The Garratt in Europe
Britain gave the Garratt to the world, yet it was not
much appreciated in its own country, and in all Europe less that 100 have
worked. In Britain, it may be that the four built for special work in
industrial places (2 collieries, a copper works and a steelworks) were the
best; I show a 1937 example crossing the “busy” A5 London - Holyhead
Road in 1964, protected by a man with a red flag! Those built for the L.M.S.
Railway in 1927-30 had so much out-dated Derby practice in them that they
were a disaster from the word “Go”; the L.N.E.R. found themselves with
an unacceptable design schemed out, which had to be altered quickly. Even
then the one locomotive built was a questionable asset.
 The
first Garratt in Africa: the tine loco for the Maymbe Railway in the Belgian
Congo, forerunner of many very large Garratts.
Spain was the biggest mainland of Europe Garratt user,
with a small class of 4-6-2+2-6-4 express locomotives from the former
Central of Aragon Railway, and some smaller freight Garratts from the same
line - all, of course, to the odd Spanish gauge of 6 Castilian feet, just
under 5 ft. 6 in. The Catalan lines had some Belgian-built Garratts too,
whilst some long mineral railways and mining operations used them as well.
Some of us managed to ride in trains worked by the express Garratts, and
found it better than much Spanish operation; other than that we found out
little. The lengthy Robla Railway also had four Garratts; I never saw one
move, nor do I know anyone else who did!
The biggest Garratt ever built was for Russia; I include
a picture of it. With chimney, etc., to the limits of the 17 ft. high
Russian loading gauge, it doesn’t look anything much, and sadly the owners
did not seem to get on with it; there were, of course, special arrangements
to avoid freezing up. At least it did better than the Russians’ own
device, a freak 4-14-4, which called for dead straight track, or it would
derail. It was indeed the biggest, but not by much.
The Garratt in America - 1. North
Despite the license taken out by the American locomotive
Co., no Garratt was ever built or run on any North American Railroad. So
wedded were they to the Mallet, despite its know limitations, that they
would not consider a Garratt, due, it is said, to the fear of adhesion loss
as the supplies of fuel and water were used up.
Of course, this is correct, but it is a small percentage
of the total weight, and in any event enough adhesion could have been built
into the engines to prevent undue wheel-slip under all conditions.
It is now true to say that at last there is a solitary
Garratt in North America! It came second-hand from South Africa, runs on a
gauge of 2 feet, and works on the Hempstead and Northern Railroad, in Texas!
It is also true to say that in their investigations, the
firm in question looked carefully a the “Super-Garratt” concept, with a
wheel arrangement of 2-6-6-2+2-6-6-2; Beyer’s had also looked into this
with South African Railways, and it had been agreed not to proceed.
Woman’s World: “If
one is a greyhound, why try to look like a Pekinese?”
by Lesley Warner
I am always giving you beauty tips but lets make sure we
get it in perspective ladies. This is not just a beauty column, as there is
more to being a woman than what she looks like. There is pressure on being a
woman in the 21st century when confronted with a myriad of images, roles,
concepts and possibilities of what is supposedly the perfect woman. Makes us
strive to do everything within our reach to look our best, be our best, do
our best in the many facets of our lives. We try to express ourselves in the
most confident, positive and graceful manner possible, to the degree our
outer expression differs from our inner feelings and attitudes.
Perhaps the manifestation of this discrepancy, this lack
of similarity, shows up as (chronic) fatigue, headaches, PMS, irritability,
fear, doubts, stress, substance abuse; the list can be endless. We know
intuitively that happiness and joy are an inside job, that beauty truly is
only skin deep, that it is our inner beauty that sustains and nurtures our
soul and those we love. So how do we balance the outer and the inner, the
expression with the introspection, the body with the soul?
Like it or not, we live in a society which is very
‘outer’ oriented; we are bombarded by ‘perfect’ images everywhere we
look - billboards, magazines, television, movies and, somehow we are given
and too often accept the suggestion that we need to be this perfect if we
are to ever gain the happiness we seek.
Certainly the profit mongers have a vested interest in
all these images, and through our hunger as a society to appear perfect they
have produced a never ending supply of cosmetics, surgeries, pills, potions,
clothing, and gadgetry. And as long as we have that ache to be what someone
else tells us we must be, we will continue giving them our money.
When we listen carefully to our inner voice, of course,
we know all too well that the answer is not ‘out there’ but simply
‘within’. And all those self-help books that line our bookshelves and
the endless magazine articles continue to tell us so (you’re right -
here’s another one!). We also know that even through finding our inner
beauty, appreciating it and developing it to an even greater degree will
never turn me into a Julia Roberts or Dawn French into a Kate Moss. The
truth is, however, that we spend the vast majority of our attention on outer
voices; we need to learn to commune with our inner wisdom and listen to our
inner needs. Only then do we balance the inner with the outer. Inside us all
is an ‘individual’ character trying to get out; look in the mirror, is
that really who YOU want to be? I think it takes a brave woman to be who she
wants to be and not who or what she’s expected to be.
It was Dame Edith Sitwell who so succinctly said, “If
one is a greyhound, why try to look like a Pekinese?” Dame Edith was born
in 1887, a time when a woman’s beauty was considered her most prized
possession. She was never beautiful but she was flamboyant and always stood
out in a crowd.
For us ladies that live in Pattaya the pressure is always
on. Surrounded by so many young lovelies (I have often wondered if there are
any girls over 25 in Pattaya), how can we compete? The answer is we can’t
and we don’t need to. Be yourself - if you believe in yourself then so
will others.
‘To lose confidence in one’s body is to lose
confidence in one’s self,’ by Simone de Beauvoir.
Next week I promise not to be so... serious...
Copyright 2000 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected] |
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