Family Money: Are dollar-denominated funds a currency risk?

By Leslie Wright

Investors often express concern that they will lose money if their base currency - the currency they ‘live’ in - appreciates against the currency in which their investments are denominated.

Are their international investments affected by fluctuating exchange rates? And if so, how does currency movement affect the overall value of their holdings?

The answers to these questions can become especially complicated when an investor is holding an investment vehicle such as a unit-linked insurance policy denominated in one currency, which is accessing funds denominated in two or more other currencies, which themselves may be investing across several different markets where the underlying assets will be traded in a multiplicity of currencies.

Fund value has to be measured in something

Any unit trust or mutual fund has to be denominated (i.e., priced) in one currency or another, to gauge its worth and performance.

For convenience of international investors, many offshore funds are denominated in US dollars, even if the assets they are holding - shares of companies listed on the Stock Exchange of Thailand, for example - are actually traded in Thai baht rather than US dollars. What effect does currency fluctuation have on the price of units?

To understand how this all works and what risks you might be exposed to, let’s first look at a simple example.

An investor has bought units in a US stock market fund. This fund by definition can only hold US stocks; it can’t invest in Thailand, for instance. Its underlying assets - the stocks & shares it is holding - are valued in dollars, and the fund itself is denominated in dollars.

Because all the variables are in the same currency - US dollars - the only currency risk the investor is exposed to is fluctuation between his base currency and the US dollar.

If his base currency - the currency he earns and spends - is also US dollars, his only concern is fund performance. In effect, his only risk is if the US stock market takes a dive.

But what about an investor who has bought units in a dollar-denominated Thailand stock market fund? What are his currency risks if the Thai baht rises or falls against the US dollar?

In this case there are two variables: the performance of the stock market, and the relative strength of the currency.

If the local stock market moves up and the exchange rate between the baht and the dollar remains the same over the period in question, the net value of the fund’s assets (‘NAV’, to use the technical abbreviation) increases both in local currency and international currency value. In other words, the price of units goes up.

If, however, the SET moved up but the Thai baht depreciated against the dollar by exactly the same percentage (a highly unlikely scenario, but useful for this example), the gain in stock price would be exactly offset by the loss in currency value, so the NAV in US dollar terms would effectively move sideways. The price of units in US dollars would remain effectively unchanged.

Similarly, if the stock market moves down and the local currency depreciates against the US dollar, the price of units, valued in US dollars, will drop even further than just the amount by which the market corrected.

But - and this is a big but - if that investor had purchased his fund units by having exchanged Thai baht into dollars, and now converts the US dollar value of his holdings back into Thai baht terms, he will note that the fluctuation in exchange rates has miraculously disappeared! How?

To continue with our examples above, if the SET moves up and the currency exchange rate moves sideways, converting current US dollar fund-unit value back to Thai baht shows an increase in baht value approximating the stock market increase (assuming for the purposes of this exercise that the fund managers manage to match the performance of the SET).

If the SET moved sideways but the baht had weakened against the dollar, the price of units in that fund would have dropped in US dollars as outlined above, but converted back to baht would now be worth more weakened baht, so the value of these units in local-currency terms would be virtually the same as before the currency drop.

In other words, holding units in an offshore fund which happens to be denominated in another currency does not necessarily expose you to a currency risk if the units in that fund were bought with your base currency.

Diversification reduces risk

If, however, you bought those units with a third currency (e.g., Sterling or Swiss Francs), then you are potentially exposed to currency risks should this third currency strengthen or weaken against either the US dollar or your local base currency.

How then can one avoid this risk and hedge one’s bets? One obvious way is by diversifying one’s holdings - not keeping all your investment eggs in one basket, no matter how comfortable or familiar you may be with that market. If that basket drops suddenly, you will probably end up with egg on your face.

* Next week we shall look at how currency fluctuations affect a globally-diversified portfolio, and how third-currency orientated investors (e.g., Sterling, Swiss Francs & Euros) are affected by relative currency strengths or weakness.

Leslie Wright is managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected] Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

The Breakfast Club

Thank God It’s Friday! That was the main incentive for a group of friends (both Thai and foreign) to meet for breakfast each week to touch bases, trade gossip, and generally offer tea and sympathy to anyone who is feeling down. Someone often brings a newcomer who hasn’t been in Thailand very long, and when they do, we certainly have some lively discussions. It is said that there is no substitute for seeing yourself as others see you. And it’s usually the newly arrived individual who has the quickest eye for the things that we ‘locals’ seem to take, either for granted, or with fatalistic resignation.

Last week we all had the pleasure of the company of a lady from Holland. She breezed in, sat down, and ordered her breakfast in almost perfect Thai. I reckoned she was probably a long time resident, till we all asked her how she liked Thailand. Understand, here, asking people how they like Thailand is habitual small talk, in the same way the English grouse about their weather and the Yanks trade notes on who is suing whom. Since our new Dutch acquaintance assessed that this was an informal group, she proceeded to answer without pulling any punches. She had, in fact only been here six months, and in that time she’d seen enough of the country to conclude that Thailand as a nation should be under a psychiatrist’s care. But did she like Thailand? Yes. Kind of like a wart on her nose, it was ‘growing on her’.

The madness which is so typical of Thailand seems to be best reflected in the dirt, noise, maniacal driving habits, and the lack of order in public places. Asians in general don’t seem to be bothered by lack of privacy, acoustical cacophony, over crowding, barking dogs, craters in the footpaths, and potholes in the roads. That’s what we call our ‘Street Life”. Thais regard empty spaces as places which are probably haunted, or they would have been filled up already, if not by proper buildings, at least by squatters.

A good time here must be heard! A department store with raucous music blasting from massive speakers, and crowds of people laughing and kickboxing each other means it is a friendly place. Therefore, a clean, quiet shopping centre playing soft strains of Mozart is regarded with suspicion. The prices in that place must be too high, and is probably the reason no one there is having a good time. It’s a fact that when international retailers opened their doors in Thailand, a survey found that Thais wouldn’t shop in a place which was too quiet because the silence made them feel insecure. As for barking dogs, that is a natural occurrence. Dogs bark! They do not whinny like horses or bleat like sheep. So what’s the problem?

Our street vendors seem to be another cause for annoyance, and even alarm. Blazing open fires, and woks full of boiling oil are intimidating to the newcomer who is trying to navigate our cities on foot. These entrepreneurs who set up shop on every square metre of pubic space are certainly a nuisance, unless they are selling something one happens to want while passing by. Most Thais eat five to seven times a day, and even more for those with healthy appetites. Most meals are small and light, so the grazing goes on most of their waking hours. Not yet invited to a Thai home for a meal, the lady from Holland wanted to know if Thais had plates and other dishes in their homes. It seems she had observed the servants running down the street after small children with food in a plastic bag and feeding the children with a spoon as they went. Yep. That’s a scene as ‘Thai’ as an elephant waiting at traffic lights on Sukhumvit Road. Thais sleep on the table and eat on the floor. Young Thai children eat on the run.

Our architecture is another subject on the list of idiosyncrasies. Especially the shop house buildings which have stairways. Apparently the steps are not wide enough to place a Westerner’s foot. That explains the crab-like gait of a visitor creeping up a staircase with his or her feet turned sideways. Then on the way down there is what they refer to as the ‘head-knockers’, those lentils of concrete which are usually too short to clear anyone but a tiny Thai. Owners of shops here often tile their portion of the public sidewalk with ceramic. Gorgeous to look at, but slippery when wet.

As our Dutch friend finished her coffee and announced she had to be on her way, she assured us that her observations on our Kingdom were not meant to be cruel. She added that she actually LOVED the Thai language and was learning quickly, and was glad of it. Speaking Dutch gave her a sore throat.

by Lesley Warner

I was quite shocked the other day when a young girl said to me that she could never be pretty because she wears glasses. I thought this was a thing of the past. Do youngsters today still feel like this? How sad. Firstly, with the range of beautiful glasses on offer today no one should feel that they couldn’t be attractive wearing them. But for those that feel that wearing glasses actually undermines their confidence I would suggest contact lenses. I have worn contact lenses for 25 years, for one reason because I don’t enjoy wearing glasses and yes I’m vain!

For the last 5 years I have used daily disposable lenses, one reason is because I’m lazy and you can just throw them away at the end of the day, but I also feel they are more hygienic. While working in the optics industry for 4 years I learned the importance of hygiene for contact lenses wearers.

These days many people wear contact lenses purely as a beauty aid and not because they need them for corrective reasons. The coloured lenses available these days can be fun to wear, although not always very comfortable. I suggest you try them before you spend your money, as some coloured lenses give you a sense of tunnel vision which is very uncomfortable. I always wanted blue eyes like my dad, so when the opportunity presented itself I got some blue lenses. They were horrible to wear but I persevered wanting these blue eyes so much until one of my children said to me “mum you look really weird, I don’t like it.” I then found out after asking around what everyone thought; maybe we should stick to making the best of what nature blessed us with.

Whether you need contact lenses for visual correction or just want them for cosmetic reasons, either way as a prescribed medical device, they must be fitted correctly. And a professional must carry out the follow up eye care check ups. Although such lenses might provoke curiosity by your friends and family members never share them with anyone. Sharing lenses can lead to dangerous health problems.

Many people assume that if they have astigmatism, they cannot wear lenses, but this is not necessarily true. This is a condition where the cornea is irregularly shaped, causing distorted vision especially at near distances. Toric contact lenses can correct astigmatism for most people. Small amounts of astigmatism may be correctable with regular oxygen permeable lenses.

For you older ladies out there who find that your eyesight is deteriorating, do not fear. There are now Bifocal lenses, a type of contact lens design that includes two focal areas: one for near, one for distance. I tried these out as an experiment for the Optometrist that I worked for, and I would say they are excellent for day-to-day wear but I wouldn’t want to sit and read a book in them. To work out the prescription for these lenses is quite complicated and it is important that the correct combinations are used.

The cost of contact lenses can vary greatly. If you have a difficult prescription or need correction for problems like astigmatism, your lenses will be more expensive. If you have no special requirements, your options will range from daily disposables (fairly high cost) to oxygen permeable contacts, which are thought by many to provide the greatest value. Oxygen permeable, although initially more expensive, can last for years and are inexpensive to care for. Consumer Reports called oxygen permeable a better buy “because they’re more durable and cheaper to maintain.” Fortunately, oxygen permeable can also accommodate any prescription, no matter how difficult, because they are custom-made for each individual wearer.

Many people used to ask me if they could sleep in lenses, personally I have only done so by accident. It depends on the type of lens you’re wearing, the composition of your tear film, your general eye health, and other factors. Many sources say oxygen permeable contact lenses and certain soft lenses can be slept in, but never wear them while sleeping unless your eye care practitioner says you can. I would suggest asking a professional doctor or optometrist and a little personal research.

by Mirin MacCarthy

Badgers are Northern Hemisphere animals, and they are thought to be the oldest current inhabitant in the UK, having lived in Britain for at least 250,000 years. While there are some worries about their status, the latest surveys show that there are between about 250,000 and 310,000 badgers in the UK (living in about 80,000 family groups). They are however, unevenly distributed across the country. The effects of persecution and changing land use have resulted in their almost total disappearance from some areas.

The Badger grows up to 750 mm from head to tail - with a 150 mm tail, and weighs up to about 10 to 12 kg, with the females of the species slightly smaller. Adults are at their lowest weight in the spring as territorial behaviour by the boars and suckling by the sows will have reduced their stored fat to a minimum.

They have an interesting colouration to their coat. The hair is black and white - leading to a grey appearance from a distance. The badger has a black chest and forepaws; with a prominent black and white striped head with white ears.

Badgers are social animals, often living in large groups of adults and young. They are nocturnal, which means they usually leave their setts at dusk or later. They emerge cautiously, sniffing and listening for signs of danger. Once they are sure it is safe, they leave to groom, play and forage.

Badgers take considerable care over their grooming. Scent plays an important part in the social hierarchy too. Adults put scent on each other and on cubs - in this way a composite smell characteristic of the whole community can create the smell of the group. This smell will be different from that of neighbouring groups and helps recognition of friends and strangers. It is thought that the badger’s sense of smell is 700 to 800 times better than ours! This means that badgers can smell many things that we cannot. They use their sense of smell to find their way around, and to find food.

The acute sense of smell is important, since the badger’s eyes are quite small, and its eyesight is not particularly good. Like many other animals, badgers cannot see anything in colour, living in a black and white world. Whilst they cannot see details very well, they can make out shapes, and movements.

Although the badger is classed as a carnivore since it has large canine teeth, it is really an omnivore. As well as earthworms, beetles, voles, mice, frogs, snails and wasps, it also eats acorns, beech mast, bulbs, fruits and roots.

Mating usually occurs in July, but implantation can be delayed by 2 to 10 months. After then the badger is properly pregnant for about seven weeks. There is normally a single litter of between 2 and 3 cubs born from January to March. The cubs are born blind, with dirty white fur on their upper body only. Many badgers die in their first year of life. In fact, two out of every three badger cubs born will die before they become one year old, though those cubs who do survive to become adults have a good chance of living for several years, with many going on to ages of between five and eight years old before they die. Many badgers are killed by gamekeepers and farmers, while cubs are sometimes killed by dogs and foxes. Many others are killed on the roads and railways. Badgers in captivity do live longer, with the oldest badger on record being a captive animal which was 19 years and six months old when she died.

by Richard Brunch

From Dan Burke, Bangkok: I recently purchased a computer (generic) that came preloaded with Windows ME – Thai Version – although I have no need for Thai and the lack of English help is really not that helpful! That aside all was going reasonably well until recently when the graphics card failed and the shop replaced it with another card but not the same. Since then I have had some really strange things happening, as well as not being as stable as before, I can’t do a successful Defrag and often instead of shutting down when requested, it just glares at me. Generally speaking, I quite like ME, the Restore feature has been a saviour on more than one occasion having a 5 year old in the house. What would you advise?

Computer Doctor replies: Windows ME can be unstable, there is no doubt about it, and some people prefer to revert to 98 although my preferred option would be to switch to Windows 2000 assuming your system at least meets the minimum requirements for installing it. However, if you want to continue with ME then you should regularly check Windows Update to ensure your OS is updated with the latest fixes and patches. Interestingly, Microsoft has no plans to introduce a Service Pack for ME, presumably because XP in all its guises will replace the entire Windows platforms. In the meantime, graphics cards can be a particular source of frustration, particularly if they have an obscure or outdated chipset. That said, it is likely that the drivers from your old card could still be lingering also, and even if the graphics card is new, the driver CD that came with it may not contain the up-to-date driver. Check the manufacture’s website. Quite often you will find a specific ME driver rather than one for ’98. Although often ’98 drivers will work with some devices, in practice with graphics and modems, the use of a specific ME driver is needed. So, after obtaining the updated driver, remove the drivers that are already installed for the graphics card and then install the updated driver using the method the manufacturer recommends. With regards to Defrag, often this particular issue can be easily solved by using Diskeeper available from Executive Software; in any event this is a vastly superior product. Microsoft recognises that there are problems with the ME platform and has helpfully provided a list of known problems with in most cases workarounds or solutions at www.microsoft.com/windowsme/support. Another useful Microsoft site is www.support.microsoft.com/support/kb/articles/Q268/8/91.asp which details problems that can occur during and immediately after installation. A final word on the Restore feature; whilst this can bring your PC back to life, it is by no means a 100% reliable solution and I have known this to have failed on a number of occasions. It is also wise prior to installing any new software or for that matter hardware to create a manual restore point from the Accessories Menu.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or e-mail to [email protected]

The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing. Richard Bunch is managing director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. For further information, please telephone 01 782 4829, fax 038 716 816, e-mail: [email protected] or see our website www.act.co.th 

by Duncan Stearn

Part Four: The Consequences of the Lao Invasion

When King Rama III, who as the heir to the Thai throne had championed and trusted Chao Anu, was told that Vientiane was still standing, he sent Pya Bodin back to the city with orders to raise it to the ground, leaving nothing except the monasteries.

However, in July 1828, at about the time a Thai advance force was approaching Vientiane, Chao Anu was also on his way back to his erstwhile capital, accompanied by a strong force of Lao soldiers.

Chao Anu allegedly pretended to submit to the Thais and then treacherously turned on them and, of 300 men, only 40 or so managed to escape.

The Lao then moved to attack the Thai main force under Pya Bodin but were defeated in a battle at Bokvarn. Chao Anu then fled Vientiane yet again, and in October 1828, the Thai army completely destroyed the city, moving the population to places in Saraburi and Lopburi. They did the job so thoroughly that Vientiane remained a virtual ghost town for the next 40 years.

Chao Anu had fled to the province of Xieng Khouang but was given up to the Thais by the ruler. Chao Anu and his family were taken to Bangkok, placed in iron cages and paraded around the city each day. Early in 1829, after seven days of torture and humiliation the 62-year-old Chao Anu died and his corpse was impaled and exposed to the public.

Thailand annexed the province of Vientiane but the war was to have far-reaching consequences. The Emperor of Vietnam, who had previously received tribute from Vientiane, still considered the province as a Vietnamese vassal state. Indeed, when Chao Anu had determined on a course of war with Thailand, he had promised Vietnam submission as well as the cession of certain eastern areas and tributes of gold and silver.

Vietnamese forces moved in to occupy the small province of Xieng Khouang in 1832, thereby establishing a presence in Laos that would be exploited by the French just a few decades later after they had taken control of Vietnam.

The views of Thai and Lao historians vary greatly when it comes to what was one of the bitterest episodes in the histories of the two countries. For the Lao, Chao Anu has become a war hero and a man seen as the leader of an independence movement. For the Thai, he was nothing more than a daring rebel.

Following the annexation of Vientiane, Laos was administered as part of the Northeastern region of Thailand. The rulers of Champassak and Luang Prabang remained in control but had to pay periodical tribute to Bangkok. Their appointments and their successors were approved by Thailand until the French established a protectorate over Laos in 1893.

by C. Schloemer

Good Points: brave, good-natured, excellent guard, intelligent, loyal, quietly dignified

Take Heed: likes to have a job to do

The Mastiff is a large, powerful dog, short haired, with a heavy head and short muzzle. This breed makes a formidable guard and lovable companion, and its intelligence makes it easy to train. The Mastiff is loyal to its owner, but is slightly suspicious of strangers. If the prospective buyer is looking for a family pet, this breed’s affable disposition makes it lovable indeed. Early training and lots of socializing will be rewarded with loyalty and devotion. This dog is happiest when he has a job to do or a task to perform. Literature through the ages is filled with anecdotes extolling the power and agility of this faithful giant. The Mastiff commands respect by virtue of its sheer size and noble bearing.

Size: Height at shoulder: dog 76 cm, bitch 70 cm

Exercise: Regular exercise, but preferable with a purpose.

Grooming: Daily brushing will keep the Mastiff’s short coat in good condition.

Health care: Their size can contribute to limb joint problems. Check with your veterinarian if you suspect trouble.

Origin and History: The breed commonly called “Mastiff” in English speaking countries is more properly described as the Old English Mastiff, which has been bred in England for over two thousand years as a watchdog. The Mastiff was treasured by the Babylonians, fought in the arenas of Rome, and has lived in Britain since the time of Julius Caesar. In the Middle Ages the Mastiff was used as a guard dog and for hunting. There are drawings on Egyptian monuments of typical Mastiffs dating as far back as 3000 BC. In literature, the earliest reference is in Chinese from about 1121 BC. So we see, there is no doubt about the antiquity of this group of dog’s ancestry.

Dog fighting and bull baiting were banned in England in 1853, due to Queen Victoria’s insistence. But for twenty years longer, the law was little obeyed. While the Mastiff was always in front rank, this does not account for its popularity in England for two thousand years. It was as ‘band’ dogs, or ‘tie’ dogs (tied by day and let loose at night) for which they were used. In fact, long ago, keeping these Mastiffs was compulsory for the peasants. During Anglo-Saxon times these dogs were used to keep wolves and other savage game under control. It was as protectors of the home, however, that they were most used, and probably as a result of centuries of such service, the Mastiff has acquired unique traits as a family dog.

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

The Moon in Pisces makes for a very sensitive Taurus. People admire that quiet charm, perceiving great depth and understanding behind that gentle manner. And of course, that is one of the great attractions of the Taurus-Pisces. Of all the Taurus combinations, this one is the most imaginative, artistic and spiritual. This combination possess the worldliness and common sense of Taurus, as well as the sensitivity and poetic inspiration of Pisces. Conscientious and compassionate, nothing hurts people born into this sign more than hurting another. But that very sensitivity often thwarts this sign from reaching its full potential.

There is one major problem to overcome: self-consciousness. Just as determined and capable as other Taureans, this sign is just too sensitive to stressful situations and finds it difficult to learn from, and deal with, other people. That brave front is purposeful, courageous and enduring, but it is, in the end, just a front, and therefore the individual will find it difficult to live up to that persona. Consequently, just when people begin to expect a lot from what they see as a talented and competent person, the Taurus-Pisces attempts to hide, shutting himself off from the risk of failure. He often uses that fantastic imagination as a means of escape, rather live up to real expectations.

Self-acceptance is the first thing which this sign must master. That refined and delicate emotional nature should be recognized as an asset rather than an impediment. These individuals tend to beat themselves up for what they imagine to be flaws in their character. It would be wise to develop some compassion for themselves, and dare to make their way in the real world, rather than dwelling in a perpetual fantasyland. Since they have a tendency to repress their feelings, an effort to communicate freely with others around them will promote more self expression. This sign has so much to offer once all those inhibitions start to recede. That Taurean perseverance and the ability to continually renew oneself should be nurtured and expanded. All natives with Moon in Pisces can gain strength and solace from faith. This combo should cultivate those spiritual instincts, instead of denying them.

Once those fears and emotional restrictions have been thrown off, all those inherent creative talents will unfold. Leonardo da Vinci was a Taurus-Pisces native who exemplified the remarkable artistic and spiritual instincts of his sign, instead of turning away from them.

Because this combination is highly suggestible, it is important that these individuals choose their acquaintances with great care. This is especially true in romantic relationships. They would be wise to try not to let themselves be so thoroughly dominated by more aggressive personalities. It is too easy for a Taurus-Pisces to get pushed around. This sign is not up to much emotional abuse and will often cave into unreasonable demands from a lover rather than take a stand in an argument. The female of this Sun/Moon sign should resist marrying too young. The temptation for security and shelter is high, but these are no substitutes for long-term happiness. The inner nature of this combination needs a partner who will appreciate and respect that gentle and sensitive nature. With the right mate, this sign will create a sympathetic and loving partnership.

by Marion

The inhabitants of planet Wolf 424 landed in the French locality of Digne some years ago. Another landing was recorded in the Madrid suburb of Aluche, leaving landing marks behind. For once, Europe was the venue for the latest arrivals from outer space, and it was probably for that reason alone that the American media did not report on the events.

According to the Ummites, in the 1930’s a Norwegian vessel had conducted an experiment in the upper reaches of the radio frequency (400 megacycles). These signals were received on UMMO, and although they were short in duration, they were enough to help Ummite astronomers to pinpoint our location in space.

The Ummites decided to outfit their first expedition to Earth, arriving on our world in March 1950. One of the earliest problems, according to the Ummites, was in establishing contact with humans because Ummites are almost completely telepathic and most have lost the use of their vocal chords. Most of the Ummites then chosen for the expedition to Earth belonged to a very small part of their society which could still speak.

According to the visitors, the planet UMMO was similar to our own in most respects. The physical conditions of their world cause Ummites to be tormented by a number of afflictions, the most distressing being a sort of madness that causes the telepathic collapse of an otherwise rational member of society. That being the case, I think I have met several of these people!

The Ummites were also happy to reveal the secrets contained of their propulsion systems of their spacecraft, called OAWOLEA UWEA OEM (Ummites only write in capitals). UMMO’s physics bore no relation to terrestrial physics, and Space, they explained, consisted of an indefinite number of dimensions, ten of which had been mastered by Ummite technology. With their knowledge, the spaceships could become mass, matter, energy or any form of radiation. A series of dimensional shifts then enabled the Ummite saucers to take shortcuts in space to allow them to make the trip between UMMO and Earth in eight or nine months, crossing an interstellar gulf of 14.6 light years.

Scientists like Juan Dominguez in Spain and Jean-Pierre Petit were riveted by these concepts and were counted among UMMO’s staunchest defenders in the scientific community. Petit, in particular, was captivated by the Ummite concept of WAAM-WAAM, the “pluricosmos” or “multiverse” that was the cornerstone of Ummite philosophy. With scientists such as this behind it, it becomes easy to see why Europe felt that it was honoured to be visited by the space travellers.

A considerable amount of the UMMO doctrine was put forward by Fernando Sesma Manzano, who allegedly had the very first and only telephone conversation with one of the Ummites, during which he was given the now-classic introduction to UMMO and its lore.

Sesma’s source was DEI 98, son of DEI 97, who proceeded to explain that UMMO had undergone bloody turmoil in distant ages, when it was exploited by brutal tyrants like NA 456, daughter of NA 312, who believed that breakneck scientific development was critical to UMMO survival. The entire concept of God (or WOA, in the Ummite’s language) was radically altered too. (Sound a little familiar?)

According to DEI 98 there was an anti-scientific backlash which culminated in the destruction of everything from libraries to nuclear power plants. An interest in philosophy and telepathy replaced the lust for science. But perhaps the most important event of this horrific age on a world many light years from earth was the rise of UMMOWOA.

UMMOWOA (the “Redeemer of UMMO”) spread the belief in the One True God among his fellows. Scientists, jurists, technicians and workers flocked to hear the teachings of this simple Ummite, a worker in the solar power factories on the SIUU Plateau. UMMOWOA’s teachings, compiled in the form of a thousand TAUU (paragraphs), were distributed around the planet in recorded form. But the authorities were at odds with UMMOWOA’s message of harmony and understanding, and he was arrested, tormented and sentenced to death, only to “disappear” before the eyes of his captors. (Again, sounds kind of similar, doesn’t it?)

So have we a “sister” planet complete with a Judeo-Christian mythology, even though it is light years ahead of us in physics, space travel and telepathy? While there are still countless Ummite believers in the world, the answer is a resounding, No!

In the mid 1950’s, one Spanish psychiatrist, Jose Luis Jordan Pena believed that paranoia was much more widespread among the population than psychiatrists were willing to admit. Jordan Pena concocted the UMMO affair to demonstrate the validity of his theory since belief in superstitions such as astrology, flying saucers, shamanism, etc., was considered to be proof of this paranoia.

Jordan Pena confessed all in an article in La Alternativa Racional, the Spanish equivalent of The Skeptical Enquirer, including explaining how he faked the false landing in the Madrid suburb of Aluche. Unfortunately, by then, his mass paranoia was as well established as the myth of the UMMO themselves. But of course, on the other hand...?

Updated every Friday
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Updated by Chinnaporn Sungwanlek, assisted by Boonsiri Suansuk.
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