The fallout from the terrorist attack on the United States, allegedly by O’Slimy Bin Liner and his fanatical cohorts, on the local boozing business looks like it’s already kicking in, with some owners telling me they’ve had expected punters suddenly cancel their visit to the Land of Restricted Opening Hours.

Combined with the efforts of Interior Minister Purely Puritannical to turn back the clock to 2:00 a.m. (in 1960 that is) as well as less than flattering remarks about ‘farangs’ by boss cocky Taksin, and the pessimists are saying this could be the worst high season since the Gulf War of 1990-1991.

Round Three: For those of you who missed the first Dirty Dancing contest held at The Dollhouse ogling den a few weeks ago and the subsequent event at the Blues Factory on September 30, round three is being conducted this Sunday night at the TQ2 chrome pole palace (Soi BJ, Walking Street).

The TQ2 ogling den is a much smaller space than The Dollhouse, so if you want to get a good position I suggest you take a sleeping bag and camp outside the front door of the joint and wait for opening time. If this third contest reaches anywhere near the heights of the first two, then it will be well worth joining the expected crush of bodies to witness the affair.

Crazy hour finally ends: Speaking of The Dollhouse ogling den (Walking Street), the 30 baht Crazy Hour drinks have come to an end after eight months. The concept has been copied with great success by a couple of other play houses, notably Sexy and Vixens.

The new Dollhouse happy hour setup will still be from 7:30 to 8:30 p.m. but it will be a case of buy one drink, get one free, which still represents good value for money.

Business as usual: As alluded to above, both the Vixens and Sexy ogling dens (the latter in Walking Street, opposite Stony’s Place and the former in Soi Diamond) are continuing with their highly successful cheap drinks happy hours.

Sexy offers 30 baht libations (beer, vodka, gin and whisky) from 7:00 until 9:00 p.m. while Vixens is attracting punters with 40 baht offerings, also beer, vodka, gin and whisky, during the same hours.

Finally found what they were looking for: The Irish rock band U2 once had a hit with a song entitled I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For and this tune could easily have provided the background theme to the efforts of Chard and Pat, the operators of Pat’s Pies and Deli (Third Road) and The Chippy (Soi Chaiyapoon) nosheries, as they scoured the environs of Fun Town searching for a new base of operations.

In fact, the story of their search was bearing all the hallmarks of an Icelandic saga, with suitable sites being found, leases and terms negotiated and contracts drawn up, only to be dashed at the last minute when Chard’s team of detectives uncovered information that vendors had tried to keep hidden.

However, I am happy to report that the search for the Holy Grail of nosheries is now at an end and Pat’s Pies will be establishing a new and expanded headquarters in Soi 3 on the site of the old Thang Long Vietnamese munching den. The newly remodelled chow house should be operational under the Pat’s Pies banner by early to mid-November with the Third Road and Soi Chaiyapoon outlets also remaining open for business.

Back to the decade that style forgot: The Shenanigans noshery and lounge lizard libation room is conducting a Seventies Night on Saturday October 6 with a bottle of Jamesons for the ‘swingingist customer’. The boozer will have a special 70s band and two guest DJ’s, Danny Poole and Paul Dobbs. I’m just going to get my blue corduroy flared jeans and mauve body shirt dry cleaned and dust off those old Boz Scaggs and Bryan Ferry records: c’mon, c’mon, let’s stick together.

Pass me the vittles: As the name implies, the Alamo beer boozer (Soi 8, right next door to the Paradise Club lounge lizard libation room) is a real American ex-pat hangout, but I can assure anyone who takes the time to drop in for a tipple or two that they will be made to feel more than welcome, no matter from what part of this mortal coil you may hail.

To add to the appeal of the boozer, Garrulous Gary, in a moment of rare lucidity, decided to introduce a limited but interesting menu and employed a chef. The menu consists of a daily special as well as dishes such as Chili Con Carne, Spaghetti and sandwiches like chicken, bacon and ermantal cheese (sensational), all at extremely competitive prices. I’d have to say if Davy Crockett and Jim Bowie had been plied with nosh this good they’d have beaten back Santa Anna and his rabid Mexican horde.