Wednesday Quiz League

Results for Wednesday September 29

PSC golf from the Three Sisters

On Monday September 27, Bill Thompson playing off 11 handicap shot a great round of 40 points. This was one of his better games as he beat the field by a single point. Mike Gerrard was just a stroke back as he garnered 39 points to come in second all by himself.

Following the leaders were a host of other golfers. Perry McNeely came in with 38 points while Dick Caggiano, Ray Spence, and Ciano Glavina all shot 37. Just a stroke back were Carl Baumann and Terry Curtis with 36 points.

This week’s winner, Billy Thompson (right) and Marvin Smith left Holding the bag.

Holding the bag this week was “Good Ole Marvin Smith”. Marvin again fell into the cellar as Paul Kinner gave him a scare coming in one shot better. It was a close call, but with Mavin’s age (over 80 years), it was a great round for the old gentleman. I hope that Marvin plays with us on Mondays as long as we are in action. Thanks to people like Marvin and other oldsters, Monday is a great day for fun golf enjoyed by all.

PSC Golf from McAllister’s

The last round for September was played at Eastern Star Golf Club and complements must be given to the management for getting the course prepared very well despite the heavy rains which have been very persistent during the month.

Eastern Star is one tough Robert Trent Jones Jr. layout, playing near 6,600 yards off the white tees. Not all golfers managed to deal with it very well and some pretty high scores were posted. It took a while to collect scores to determine the standings for the day as some went round very quickly while others played at a reasonable pace.

Just about everyone eventually reported in at McAllister’s in dribs and drabs largely lured by the usual excellent luncheon buffet and cold refreshments on hand to boot. Winner for the week was Trevor Carnahof with a fine spurt on the back nine salvaging a rather pedestrian front nine from disgrace accumulating 37 points. In second with 36 points came Nigel Perrey.

The first of October had already claimed a major casualty with Shenanigans Irish Open having been postponed when Eastern Star was declared unplayable due to serious flooding. This did not deter the Friday stalwarts who ventured onto Century Banchang with disregard for any potential disruption of their round caused by inclement weather. It so happened the right choice was made and play was not in the least interrupted.

When the results were tabulated back at the sponsor’s establishment a late entrant, Terry Phur, was declared the winner with Bob Noble securing second place.

Nora and Perry a winning combination

Joe Mo(o)neyham is level off the stick!

IPGC Golf From Lewiinksi’s!

Sunday September 26 Green
Valley - White Tees Stroke/Medal

1st A Flight: Joe Mooneyham, net 67
2nd A Flight: Chang Suh, net 71
3rd A Flight: Frank Boyd, net 72
1st B Flight: Colin Davis, net 65
2nd B Flight: Pete Stonebridge, net 68
3rd B Flight: An Kaesavane, net 70
1st C Flight: Nat Meesuk, net 68
2nd C Flight: Robbie Bennett, net 70
3rd C Flight: Frank Pilkington, net 71

Man-of-the-Match with a net 65 was Colin Davis. Colin, who has made a handicap move over the past several months but has plateaued recently, sizzled the back nine with a career-best, gross 37. This B Flight winning effort would suggest that more progress could be expected from The Donkey. Despite seldom playing more than once a week due to business commitments, Pete “The Schoolmaster” Stonebridge is now consistently on the Sunday victory podium. His net 68 on this day held a resurgent An Kaesamane in third place in B.

A guy scores 67 off his newly lowered 12 handicap and it isn’t even his best round of the week! Are you kidding me! Joe the title character, who has some 6-8 years in the handicap database, with some 200+ rounds per year for the past five years, is no “bandit”. He lost form over the last 6-8 months and a handicap that was previously as low as it is now, 11-12, had wandered upward to 15. Today, coupled with Sunday’s winning effort, served as a portend of even greater things to come and gave the field a signal that he has it back, and maybe more. His 67 relegated mates Chang Suh and Frank Boyd to second and third with fine net 71 and 72 respectively.

Nat “The Natural” Meesuk struck again with a net 68 depriving good guy Robbie Bennett of the top step view on the C Flight podium. Robbie’s 70 was enough, however, to leave hard working Frankie “The Pilk” Pilkington’s net 71 in third place.

Tuesday September
28 Laem Chabang - C & A - White tees Stableford

1st A Flight: Joe Mooneyham, 48 pts
2nd A Flight: Eddie Blackwell, 37 pts
3rd A Flight: Ron Gale, 36 pts
1st B Flight: Warren Holland, 40 pts
2nd B Flight: Frank Pilkington, 38 pts
3rd B Flight: Danny Dyke, 36 pts

Well there it is! A score that would normally raise the hackles of a skeptical Pattaya golf community but which in this case received a congratulatory round of applause and hoots of “Great Round!” Joe blistered the C and A course for a gross 72 good for 48 points off his departing 12 handicap. Joe had been level par before in his golf life but as he said “it had been a looong time” since he had done so. Eddie Blackwell followed Joe, albeit from a distance, but he was the first to admit that his second place in A Flight money will still spend. Eddie’s second place 37 points were followed by new member Ron Gale’s 36 points

Warren Holland, a frequent visitor from Korea, took a little Won (pronounced “Wan”) back with him with a fine B Flight winning 40 points. Stretched out behind him in two point increments were Frank Pilkington and the venerable Danny Dyke.

Wednesday
September 29 Burapha - A & B - White Tees Stableford

1st A Flight: Phil Mitchell, 39 pts
2nd A Flight: Jim Munns, 38 pts
3rd A Flight: Claus Birk Thomsen, 38 pts
1st B Flight: Ray Dell, 39 pts
2nd B Flight: Ken Kutzing, 36 pts
3rd B Flight: Neil Cameron, 35 pts

Phil “Flipper’ Mitchell topped A Flight with a superlative 39 points off his 6 handicap, and that calculates out to a gross 75! The silver and bronze was sorted by a four-way countback at 38 points. Jim Munns’ 22 points on the inward nine took the former and Claus Birk Thomsen edged Roger Verville and Robin Lennon on the last six for the latter.

B Flight’s Ray Dell, our title boy of last week, matched A Flight’s best of 39 points and like Flipper took the top rung of his flight. Kenny Kutzing put some loot aside for the purchase of his new car by taking second in B with 36 points. Neil Cameron, yes, the Club Maker to the Star (and the also-rans), tidied up third place in the lower flight.

Friday October 1 Burapha - C & D - Blue Tees Stableford

1st A Flight: Phil Groves, 38 pts
2nd A Flight: Roger Verville, 31 pts
1st B Flight: Seamus Brennan, 39 pts
2nd B Flight: Warren Holland, 27 pts

Weather was the story of the day as continued inclement weather which encouraged the cancellation of Shenanigan’s Irish Open dominated the field. The field was able to endure the first rain assault but the lightening accompaniment of the second forced the last two groups to retire. The remaining smallish field did produce two very creditable results as Seamus Brennan’s 39 points was best on the day and, therefore, the leader in B Flight and Phil Groves magnificent 77 off the blues and 38 points was the leader in A Flight. Roger Verville’s 31 points turned out to be more favorably distributed than Jeremy Masse’s and, thus, the second place in A Flight found the bottom of his pocket. A quirk on the day was that the field of nineteen golfers was split 9 and 9, with Bill Hurd’s 18 handicap sitting on the fence. A coin toss done under the auspices of Price-Waterhouse Accounting House placed him in A Flight. That result seemed to be innocuous, given Bill’s 27 points. However, that is, until second place in B Flight went to Warren Holland’s 27 points. A review of the cards found they both had 11 on the back, but Bill slogged out six soggy points on the last 6 to Warren’s 5 points. But for a coin toss, Bill’s Kingdom was lost.

Shenanigans 2004 Men’s & Ladies Irish Open Championship postponed

Mike Franklin

Due to the excessive rain, and the likelihood that golf carts would not be allowed, or at best only one player allowed per cart on October 1, the Shenanigans Irish Open was postponed and will now take place on Friday November 26, 2004 at Eastern Star. All other details for the tournament will be the same.

Anyone who paid their entry fee and is unable to play on November 26 should contact Shenanigans for a full refund.

However, if you still intend to play on the November 26 your entry fee will be retained with your booked starting time, unless instructed otherwise. There is no additional charge.

In fact, on October 1, golf cart restrictions were imposed and only one player and caddy per cart were allowed. Around mid-day another storm hit the area fully justifying the postponement. Golfers who did tee-off at Eastern Star that morning had to leave the course when the storm hit.

Making this sort of decision is always regrettable and, with some risk of being wrong, it has to be taken in good time. The worst situation occurs when the tournament goes ahead as planned and then has to abort half way through due to the weather conditions.

Friday November 26, I am reliably informed, will be dry and sunny and the Eastern Star course in excellent shape. The Shenanigans Irish Open Championships now follow the Diana Gold Charity tournament on Friday 12 November, and the Khun Anand Charity Golf Invitational for UNICEF on Saturday 20th, both at Eastern Star.

PSC golf from Cafe Kronborg

Monday September 27 Plutaluang Royal Thai Navy course Stableford

The South and East Layouts was host for a stableford competition in two Flights, A Flight 0 to 14, and B Flight 15 and Upwards. The course on the day was in fine condition, with the course a little wet in places but this did not unduly affect play.

Philippe Berra

Aussie Kevin Callaghan won the A Flight with 40 points, ahead of Monte Sykes in second on 37 points and in third was Clive Robinson on a countback over Jeff Wylie, both with 35 points.

Recently returned Swiss National, Philippe Berra, took the A Flight with a fine 42 points ahead of Tournament Director Dave Richardson in second with 41 points and in third was Brian Noguer with 39 points.

Thursday September 30 Siam C.C. Monthly Mug

This was to be the big day of the Month when all turned up to vie for the Kronborg Monthly Mug, a Stroke Competition. The sign up list looked impressive and many names were down for the day.

The ‘Day Dawned’, well it seemed to, but it was still as dark as night, and as I drove along Beach Road it seemed with the headlights on, and the ominous darkness, that these carried the seeds of the end of the golf. By the time I arrived at the Kronborg the rain was descending in torrents, and despite parking outside the door it was 10 minutes before I decided to run across the road. Just long enough for the road to fill ankle deep and not only get soaked to the skin but end up with wet socks as well.

Inside, wet and shivering, golfers drank hot tea, and listened to the phone calls of players cancelling, one by one. And still it rained; surely we could not play.

Well they say golfers are crazy, and with the rain still falling it was decided to make the trip to Siam and see how it went. Well it rained, the roads were flooded and the course when we got there was wet, and the carts were being stored. All the other golfers were getting into their cars and going home, sensible people. We were now down to half our group, and still it rained.

An hour later it was decided to cancel the ‘Monthly Mug’ till next month at Bangpra, but the brave ones decided as they were there they would play. Indeed in the UK they play in worse conditions and the rain is cold.

Twelve hardy souls with brave caddies in rain gear, teed off and splashed down the first, and it rained, but it was cool and pleasant. Then it stopped after a few holes and it became really pleasant, apart from wet feet. Do not let anyone tell you that waterproof golf shoes are waterproof. By the time we played the tenth the fairways were drying up and the greens were puttable. We also noticed a few other golfers coming out to play.

Back in the restaurant after a hot shower, the view was that it had been a good day, and the scores shot by the players were better than average.

The moral of this story? I do not know, however those as can do and those as cannot go home to a warm drink, and a hot telly.

T.T.F.N.

The Chocolate Major melts the opposition

IPGC TAGGS golf from The Haven

Monday September 27 Green Valley Stableford

1st Roy Thornton, 40 pts
2nd Richard Garland, 38 pts-c/b19 c/b6 14
3rd Terry Morris, 38 pts-c/b 19 c/b6 13
4th Ray Walton, 38 pts-c/b 15
5th Trevor Schirmer, 37

Dave Lee all smiles after his 64 in the monthly medal.

Normally at Green Valley with the Haven, low scores are at a premium, however, that was not to be the case on Monday when shooting level par was not enough to be among the places. Major Roy Thornton enjoyed the best round of the day with his 40 points. Richard Garland, Terry Morris, and Ray Walton all having 38 points and only being split on countback. The consistent Aussie, Trevor Schirmer taking fifth spot. The two’s were shared by Tom Hillary and, of course Roy Thornton.

Back at the Haven. resident PGA professional Richard Livingston, welcomed new members Syd Le-Bron, and Kerry Beck, and welcomed back Kris Vielle.

Wednesday
September 29 Siam C.C Monthly Medal

Division One
1st Trevor Schirmer, 70
2nd Chang Suh, 73
Division Two
1st Dave Lee, 64
2nd Trevor Edge, 66

On a rain interrupted day at Siam, the consistent Trevor Schirmer took the division one monthly medal from the regular visitor from the USA Chang Suh by three shots, to claim his second monthly medal on the trot and his third this year.

Major Roy having a breather before having to retell his 64, again!

In the division two medal Dave Lee, the Mexican bandit look-a-like, robbed Trevor Edge who was having one of his best round ever with his 66, by recording a fantastic 64 to claim his second medal of the year. There were no two’s on the day

Back at the Haven, Richard Livingston welcomed back Ken Johnson, and Fred and Toy Theobald.

Friday October 1
Pattaya C.C., Medal

1st Roy Thornton, 64
2nd David Childs, 67
3rd Ploy Thongpen, 69
4th William Macy, 70
5th Bob Lindborg, 71

The number of golfer’s on the day were somewhat more than had been expected due to the cancellation of the Shenanigan’s Irish Open. Fortunately the weather managed to stay dry for the day, and playing “winter rules” some good rounds were recorded, the most notable being Major Roy’s 64, and if you have a couple of hours to spare, he will tell you every moment of the round. David Childs, Nattaporn Thongpen, Bill Macy, and Bob Lindborg filled the minor placings.

The two’s carry over were shared by Nattaporn and Mikael Anderrson.

Back at the Haven Richard welcomed back Usa Chaiyosit, Nattaporn Thongpen, David Childs, Peter Johannsen and PJ Redmond.

PSC Golf from Bobby Joe’s 60s Bar

Tuesday Sept. 28th Bangphra Stableford

After many rainy days it was nice to awake and find it almost dry. At Bobby Joe’s preparing for the day whilst enjoying my toast and coffee, I wonder if the usual crowd will show up or “lie in” because the weather forecast for today wasn’t too good.

The winner,
Andy Evans

However, Oh ye of little faith, before too long they arrived and there were even some new faces to join us, so the numbers are good. Off down the motorway to Bangphra, we signed in and arranged the groups for the day giving starting rights to the “professionals”, led by Rick Evans, Stew Thomson - the amiable Oz - and that old bandit Alistair McMannus. The rest of us mere mortals followed behind, slowly, much to the course marshal’s dismay. I myself teed off last, which was fitting, as the results would show, to see how the higher h/cap players are doing and collect the pins on the greens.

An after game cold one.

Incidentally play was not that slow, despite the harassment from the marshal, the last group didn’t lose a hole on the group in front. The course and the greens in particular were in very good condition and most players returned good scores.

The winner of the day was Andy Evans by a short lead from Stew Thomson. Technical prizes went to Rick Evans, Alistair McMannus, Bob Lawrence and Joe Paccainelli.

Wighton right on at Khao Kheow

IPGC Bunker Boys from the OK Corral

The only man to break par at Khao Kheow was Bob Wighton. On Tuesday, September 28, a large group of Bunker Boys departed the OK Corral bar and took the road to Khao Kheow for their weekly medal event.

Bob Wighton broke par to win at Khao Kheow.

The day was destined to be uncomfortably hot with hazy and sultry skies and the B and C courses were well presented with usual slick greens. Everybody, except the long hitters, struggled to come to terms with the yellow tees, placed as far back as the blue ones and the notorious island hole at B8 was to be the undoing of many. Indeed “Fourball” Brian Bellis chose to end his part in the competition there! A third of the field of 21 failed to hand cards in at the end of the round and as a result only the brave were considered for the prizes. In division two the hapless Len Jones returned a total score of 29 on the par threes but his honesty was rewarded with third place for his net 93! Second in the division was John Sutherland with an embarrassing net 82 whilst Richard Wardell coped better than the others and his net 77 took the top prize.

Division one was only slightly better with Bill Hewitt picking up third place with net 83 and Steve Nowell firing net 78. The only sub-par round of the day was the very creditable net 70 recorded by Aussie Bob Wighton and he more than deserved the honours for his round. Bill Hewitt birdied the island hole and took the Super Sawng pot whilst the aforementioned Web Guru, Len, was the only contender for the Banana booby after his showing on the par threes. In his defence it must be said that he had not played a round of golf for a month and he proved that absence makes the heart grow fonder... for bananas!

The Soggy Seven Survive Sattahip

On Thursday September 30 seven hardy Bunker Boys delayed their departure from the OK Corral to the Royal Thai Navy course at Plutaluang because of an excessive thunderstorm but when they arrived at the course they found no rain but very soggy conditions under foot. The group played the South and East nines for their stableford competition and conditions were reflected in the scores. Steve Nowell and Harry Cowling fired 31 points each to take a share of the runners-up place whilst Bill Hewitt’s 34 points took the major prize. Steve Nowell also shot the day’s only birdie two, on the seventh hole on the South nine, to take the small pot whilst elsewhere poor Keith Hector mistook a yardage marker for an out of bounds post and picked up his ball. The other Leeds Loiners took great pleasure in seeing him receive the Bananas for his error. Silly Billy!

Pattaya newshounds victorious in football friendly against local legal eagles

Decha Chalermyart

Pattaya Media fought the law and won in a football friendly. Local newshounds defeated Pattay’s legal eagles 5:2 last week at the Banglamung School field.

Fancy footwork by Pattaya Mass Media (left) led them to victory in the football friendly against the Pattaya Provincial Court.

The Pattaya Mass Media Team was led by A-nan Kingsorn, president of Pattaya Mass Media club and his youthful team, while the Pattaya Provincial Court Team was led Wiroj Tulakhom, chief Judge of Pattaya Provincial Court and experienced team members.

Spectators cheered the players on as the Pattaya Mass Media led 2 nil shortly after kick off by passing the ball from the middle lines to the front lines. The Pattaya Provincial Court team was unsuccessful in their attempt for a goal, and again gave up 1 more goal giving Pattaya Mass Media team 3:0 and by half time first the Pattaya Provincial Court team managed to edge in a solitary goal ending the first 45 minutes at 3:1 in favour of the media.

The Pattaya Mass Media team continued their onslaught against the courts as the veteran team failed to sustain their defense against the more virile media players. the game ended with a score of 5:2.

The friendly sports competition aimed to exhibit the importance of sports and living a healthy lifestyle and they encourage youth to exercise and stay away from drugs.

MGMG Bangkok Casuals League - The year ahead

Sports pundits around the world have had many major sporting events this year on which to focus their steely gaze. Euro 2004 will be remembered for both the triumph of the battling Greek underdogs and David ‘Golden Balls-Up’ Beckham’s laughable inability to accurately roll a round leather object towards a target measuring 24ft by 8ft - though he looked brave and fearless enough wearing leather thongs in that Pepsi advert. The return of the Olympics to their spiritual and ancestral home of Athens was another tremendous success, only slightly marred by the doping scandal, which saw the Olympic torch testing positive for the first time. But surely the most longed for event on the sporting calendar this year must be the return of the MBMG Insurance, Third Party Fire and Theft, Bangkok Casuals League - a league that has witnessed more comings and goings in recent weeks than a newspaper’s editorial team following a critical article about the Government.

Yes, this season will bear witness to an unprecedented number of changes in this, the third most competitive farang league in Bangkok. Three times trotting champions, The Dubliner, have reluctantly agreed to the loss of the word ‘Mighty’ from their moniker, following the decision of their long time supremo, Robbo, to take the name with him into retirement. They unsuccessfully tried a compromise of holding onto the inverted commas either side of the word, but it was felt that The ‘’ Dubliner looked a little absurd. A foreign replacement word was sought, and approaches were made towards the Italian ‘Magnifico’ until it proved to be too difficult to pronounce. So will the appointment of the suave, urbane junior as team manager mark a sea-change in The Dubliner’s no-nonsense, “stick it up their jacksee”, approach instilled in them by Welsh firebrand Robbo? Only time will tell...

Other changes in the league see the addition of no less than four new teams, namely Londoner FC, Robin Hood FC, Pattaya-based Seaboard FC and the bizarrely titled Winking Frog FC. Londoner FC has been involved in much early season shenanigans, allegedly making substantial offers (free beer and a Beefeater of their choice) to some of the league’s finest players. This Abramovich-style of management has angered many, especially those considered not good enough to approach. Financial consultants SCI, obviously bored with robbing the poor, appear to have morphed themselves into Robin Hood FC and now have the perfect excuse to rob the rich too.

The rest of the league’s casual teams are the usual assortment of pubs, international schools, television personalities, and extreme right-wing paramilitary nationalist organisations. And with the big kick-off at Patana’s so-called ‘Field of Screams’ less than a week away, Thai referees across the capital can hardly wait to blow the whistle for the commencement of another 80 minutes of ritual abuse and hostility from groups of balding, red-faced, beer-bellied foreigners vigorously supported by a high-pitched array of slim-hipped, high-heeled, tattooed pole huggers. Yes, the beautiful game is with us once more.

UBC Mid-Amateur Championships at The Vintage Club

November 22-28, 2004

UBC and the Asia Golf Association are pleased to invite all highly skilled amateur golfers aged 25 years and older to participate in this first formal championship for post-college players in Thailand. All nationalities are welcome.

This will be a four-day stroke play event, without handicaps, played on the Arthur Hills designed Vintage Club in Samutprakarn. The Vintage Club has previously hosted Thai PGA and Singha TPC Tour professional events. Officials currently working on the Asian Tour will professionally run the championship in all aspects. Play will be in groups of three from the championship tees for all rounds.

Prizes will be on offer for the first 10 places as well as daily low round prizes. All prizes will conform to the Rules of Amateur Status as approved by R&A Rules Ltd. Top prizes will be Ashworth gift vouchers worth up to 30,000 baht for the winner; other prizes will be Titlelist Pro V.1 golf balls supplied by Ricoh Thailand.

UBC as title sponsor has prepared a perpetual Mid-Amateur Championship trophy. The winner will have his name engraved on what is certain to become a very prestigious championship trophy.

Will you be Thailand’s first Mid-Amateur Champion? Entries close November 1st.

For full details please call 02 650 9310-3. More information can be found at: www.midamgolf.com.

Veltins ‘Oktoberfest’ At Royal Varuna Y.C.

Peter Cummins
Pattaya

Oktoberfest in September? It did not really matter, for the all-German sponsored weekend was a ‘roaring’ success, on shore and at sea.

The superb new Royal Varuna Club-house dominating the Club foreshore area.

The organizers, Rolf Lehmann, Holger Michael, the Royal Varuna club manager and, far from the least, Ben Chandler, who basically put the ‘wunderbar’ show together, were indeed most happy to hold the first event at the splendid new Royal Varuna Club-house, a multi-million baht addition to the Pattaya-Jomtien cityscape.

The 30-year-old club-house makes way for the new.

With a “sell-out” crowd of 200, it augurs well for the future of the Royal Varuna Club, now ensconced in a more-expansive property on what is, undoubtedly, the best location on the entire Eastern Seaboard.

Never before seen at Varuna: demolition machines go to work on the old club.

There was ‘real’ German draft beer, courtesy of Veltins, a raffle draw for three top-of-the-line mobile phones donated by Siemens, a weekend “hands-on” test drive of the new BMW - 5 Series and there was a splendid Bavarian buffet, with mountains of wursts and wieners, plus some specialities prepared by the strong German contingent at Royal Varuna.

Flag Commodore Robert England welcomes the huge crowd to the new club-house.

But, what could be an Oktoberfest - regardless of what month it is held - without fried potatoes and sauerkraut and an ‘oompah’ band close enough to any ‘Teutonic Trio’, although not with all that much ‘oompah’, nevertheless the Sabai Swiss were in ‘rollicking form’.

The ‘Oompah” Band belts out some Teutonic (and other) favourites.

The raffle raised the amount of some 25,000 baht for the all-important junior sailing programmes, which the Varuna membership knows is the conduit to future membership and champion sailors.

Enjoying the show: unfortunately that ‘bottle’ of Velttins is empty.

Senior Race Officer Dick Van den Heuvel pointed out that this was the second year of the Veltsin Cup combined with the Oktober Fest, a real German tradition - and, along with the organizers and sponsors, was delighted to see more than 60 craft on the water for the two-day Veltsin Regatta. Comprising 13 Lasers, 14 Multihulls, 12 Hobie Cat 16’s and a huge fleet of juniors, with 23 Optimists slugging it out for the top prizes

Conditions varied widely, ranging from a few front-line squalls, rain showers and, finally, on Sunday, a steady 12-knot northerly, which was sufficient to allow the multi-hulls to compete in and finish a long-distance race, while the mono-hulls and juniors had two Olympic courses closer in-shore.

Results: Laser (first 10 0nly)

1. (Equal, 8 Points) Antoine de Cuyper, Marcel Dubbelman; 3. Kevin Whitcraft (10); 4. Patrick Schenker (14); 5. Philippe Narbonne (21); 6. Atsushi Ota (25); 7. Ivo Gonzenbach (30); 8. Wikkie Nualkair (32); 9. Ruben Menke (36); 10. Jane Vollmers (37).

Note: that these results do not differentiate between the full Laser rig and the smaller reduced rigs and radials.

Multi-hulls (first 12 only)

1. Hobie Tiger, spin, Claire/Simon Medd (4 points); 2. Nacra 16 sq spin, Alberto Cassio (4.0); 3. Nacra 17 uni spin, Jouke Postma (6.0); 4. Nacra 14 sq spin, Jan Holldorff (8.0); 5. Nacra 5.8 spin, Patrice L. Benoit (18); 6. Nacra 5.8 spin, Yves Rene 4 15 0 (19); 7. Hobie Tiger spin, Stefaan de Vos/ Gil (19); 8. FX -One spin, Antony Chapman (20); 9. Nacra 5.8 spin, Aroon R. Krissada (20); 10. Nacra 5.8 spin, Mark H. Markus) 10, 11. Nacra 5.8 spin, Ute/Claus Dorfner (22); 12. Nacra 16 sq spin, Peter Ole Herning ( 23).

Hobie Cat 16 (first 10 only)

1. Christien Forster/ Lewis (3); 2. Bud/Gail Rockey (3); 3. Philippe Schenker/ Carla (7); 4. Vollmers/Lehmann (10); 5. Holger/Gerald Mich (11); 6. Ben Chandler (13); 7. Simon Carey/Bronwyn Little (16); 8. Robert/Sandra England (18); 9. Payon/Nar (19); 10. Olaf Schaefer/Edwin (21).

Optimists (No points scores)

1. Matteo; 2. Peerapong; 3. Audrey; 4. Dominic; 5. Patrick; 6. Supirith; 7. Celine; 8. Don; 9. Marton; 10. Pomme; 11. Manke; 12. Quentin; 13. Lemke; 14. Stefano; 15. Shayne; 16. Suriya; 17. Eline; 18. May; 19. Bagus; 20. James; 21. Baphit; 22. Dylan; 23. Raphael.

The Square Ring

by Howie Reed

Dapper Dave Stewart is not only the King of Pattaya’s Second Road but as events have proved, he’s one heck of a professional prize fighter. A few weeks ago we reported that he had emerged triumphant in a bout at the famed Wembley Arena. That win got the Dapper One to 14-0. Martin Dobbing reports from ringside. “Former British Lightweight champion Bobby Vanzie came back from his controversial point defeats to Graham Earl with a four round job against undefeated Scot Dave Stewart. Vanzie started off well in round one, his fast combinations seemed too much for the stylist from the North of the border. The second was closer. Stewart caught more on his gloves and started to fire back. I gave the round to Vanzie although many ringside (along with the ref) had it level. It was at this point that Vanzie began to tire, and badly.”

“Stewart caught everything on his gloves and his jab was lethal, straight rights also caught the hapless Vanzie. By the end of the third he was panting like a 60 a day smoker and Stewart knew it. Dave dominated the last round, the jab permanently in Vanzie’s face and a big right nearly flooring his opponent. At the end, the ref lifted Stewart’s hand. He gave him the fight by a score of 39-38. I had it level but Bobby had no cause for complaint. If it had been a six-rounder there was a major possibility that he would have been stopped. Stewart on the other hand looks a class act. He is deceptively strong and has a lovely style. Its up to him to move on from here, he’s certainly one to watch.” Consider him watched.

Lots of really big fights last week around the world and up your block. WBC Interim super middleweight champion Danny Green (19-1) is making noises that he wants a title shot against Glencoffe Johnson. If we are to gauge his abilities off his TKO win in 5 over Omar Gonzalez (27-6) he might be lifting his leg on the wrong tree. Yeah A Win Is A Win but Green got decked in the second by a guy that hasn’t had a KO since 1997. Green, unlike others, is taking a sensible approach. “I am not happy with my performance. This was the first time I have been on the canvas. Hopefully Mikkel Kessler might now fight me in December. (He will). I need to go back to the gym with my trainer Jeff Fenech and spend more time with him.” The fight took place in the Penrith Leagues Club in Penrith, NSW.

For Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton (36-0) his fight against Michael Stewart (36-2-2) at the MEN Arena in Manchester was not only a ‘title eliminator’ but the winner gets the winner of Kostya Tzszu-Shambra Mitchell. (November 7) Chris Jones files a story “exclusively” for The Square Ring. “This was it for Hatton. The chance to play with the big boys. Bob Arum had already said that Cotto would come to the UK to fight Hatton. (Editors note. Bob Arum lies) He had to beat Mike “No Joke” Stewart. His record was no joke either with 36-2-2 against some very good opponents. On paper this looked like one of Hatton’s toughest fights. Unfortunately, it never turned out liked that. Hatton (who was actually motivated for this fight unlike his last 2), knocked down the American with a cracking left cross in the first. This was a punch, which would trouble Stewart all night! That was not all though, as he was knocked down again in the same stanza with vicious right. Hatton continued to apply the pressure getting frustrated with “no joke’s” stamina. Hatton finally cracked Stewart in round 5 when Hatton landed the punch of the night. A jaw breaking left cross, which sent Stewart crashing to the floor. At the count of 6 Hatton jumped on the ropes, put on his sponsors cap as everyone celebrated because they knew it was over. ‘After I dropped him with the body shot in the first round I was staggered when he got up from that and then a straight right dropped him again. I thought he showed amazing courage to continue and I felt he was still strong on the inside. It is certainly one of the toughest opponents I have faced and as with Ben Tackie these tough opponents bring out the best in Ricky Hatton.’ Great performance... but is it enough to convince the world.... your reporter thinks maybe not!”

Two major fighting events in the USA. The ‘creme de la creme’ was the comeback after a 28 month lay off was Felix Trinidad (42-1) total domination of former champ Ricardo Mayorga (27-5). It was not only Trinidad’s return to glory but a return to New York’s Madison Square Garden where he lost to Bernard Hopkins. Mayorga was a great tests as expected he started off the first with his usual roughhouse tactics. It had no effect on Trinidad. In the second both landed punches with Tito hitting the canvas for a knockdown, which he later said, was a push. The tide turned in the 4th when the vehicle Mayorga seemed to run out of petrol. The end came in the 8th, at 2:39, when referee Steve Smogar said no mas after Mayorga hit the deck for the third time. Mayorga skipped the post fight press conference for a trip to hospital.

The other bout which as suppose to be of major significance was the return of Wladimir Klitschko (42-3) against DaVaryll Williams (20-2). As happens, all too often, there was much to do about nothing. Williams ran in the hopes of tiring Klitschko which seemed to be working especially in the 4th when Wladimir hit the deck as a result of a flash knockdown. In the 5th there was a clash of heads which opened a cut on Klitschko’s noggin. As an “accidental head butt” they went to the judges cards with Klitschko getting a majority decision (49-46,49-46, 47-48). The Square Ring had it 48-47 for the winner.

Just two years ago the World Boxing Council (WBC) held their convention in Pattaya. That meeting wound up yesterday in Phuket. At the time of the Pattaya convention Indonesia was penalized for their apparent lack of concern for boxers. Some things never change. Last week ‘The Bali Boy’ Daudy Bahari successfully defended his Jr. welterweight PABA belt by defeating mandatory challenger Plaisakda Shingwangcha of Thailand. The Thai was “reportedly 30-6 but officially he was 0-1. Also last week the Games and Amusements Board (Philippines) handed out penalties to Matchmakers Concepcion Pitogo and Aljoe Jaro. They got 6 months in connection with the importing of Penalosa’s dubious Thai challenger Samingkao Chautipol in what turned out to be a nonsensical.

PH3 - Run 1073

“Take a seat!” Probably the most dreaded phrase to hear on the Pattaya Hash. (The seat is a block of ice). “Will you be this weeks scribe?” This is the second. Unfortunately, I heard it and it came from Charlie Manson last Monday.

I ignored the map to get to the A-site, which said go via Naklua. This was to avoid all the road works on Siam Country Club road. I drove down Soi Paradise, opposite Lotus and was there in 15 minutes. The bus eventually turned up about 30 minutes later. A good A-site and decent crowd. Our Grand Master, Charlie Manson, dealt with new shoes, then brought in the virgin hares, Bill’s Bitch and Kill Bill. They explained the run, then we were off.

Plenty of good running terrain, but first we had to splash through some shiggy (the maid had just cleaned my trainers from my last run). Half way up a mountain then down. Through tapioca where we lost, found, lost, and found paper. False trails. (I went down two, back to back). A bit of road. A good view. At least it was for me.

I followed a sexy girl the whole way. A skimpy top. Low cut tight shorts. I spent most of the time trying to read the tattoo across the top of her hips. The only time my view was obliterated was when Festering Streaker and Really Sadistic Bastard got between us. But as she had to be half my age and fit, and I now have good eyesight, we left those two behind. I am sure if they had the LASIK surgery to their eyes, I had, they would have kept going. Front-runners were in, in about 45 minutes.

After a cooling down period, our GM started the circle. All back except F. Dog, but who cares. He has done 200 runs. Retard Wanker iced for taking a beer from the truck before the run. Sir Airhead iced for getting a T-shirt for the new girlfriend and not paying for it. No escape for him. Retard Wanker back in to serenade him with a song.

Last week I watched a reality show on UBC television entitled “Britain’s worst performer.” Well the girl that won this terrible title was a Diva compared to this dude. I think no one will ever forget to pay for a T-shirt again.

The stunning Sunflower then dealt with the raffle. I think my tickets came from last week’s stubs, as they bore no relationship to the numbers called. Sore loser, but plenty of happy winners.

Sir Airhead back in to hand out some religion. He iced the hares, but that was short and sweet, as it was deemed a good run. Really Sadistic Bastard and Free Willy seemingly visit dubious bars. They must be extreme, as I have never bumped into them.

Next on the ice was the ice spinning team of Kill Bill and Care Bare. On hand to keep the ice level were Big Nosed Bastard and Ringworm, but I think licking the ice was not what was intended. No records broken, but maybe if the girls take their shorts off next time, there will be more lubrication and less friction. (I seem to remember this from my physics classes, when I was a schoolboy).

Next to be iced was that well known Belgium group of Flying Frog, Fini the Faggot, Harry Potter and Queen Mary. I guess their names are a giveaway.

Some more religion, this time from Festering Squid Jazzer. He told me he was “the good R.A.” Well I do not want to meet him when he is “Bad”. I was iced for admitting I had not drunk any Chang before the run. P-pole Dancer, in nurse’s uniform, injected my mouth with some concoction, which was pretty tasty. Then I was doused with ice water by Oddjob (in fairy costume; seemingly one of many) and VV (in grass skirt and makeup). Next for the treatment was Mad Cow and Arsehelio, who had a “Bum Push of War” on the ice. Do not ask. Just look at the pictures!!!

Sir C.F. had the circle next, and as usual, iced T4. This time for breaking his ankle when he fell off a big woman. Seemingly, the statute of limitations have no bounds on this hash, as this happened a year ago. Maybe T4 thought he would not be recognised with his new beard. Now the notes I made up, from this stage of the proceedings, are hard to decipher. I have Bill’s Bitch, Big Nosed Bastard, Miserable C. followed by the word Strange. I remember Bill’s Bitch was wearing a mini skirt and makeup, so figure that one out if you can.

There were many other people on the ice, for various reasons, and I cannot remember it all. But I am sure they can. Also, I seem to remember people tied up and pulling on ropes.

It was good to see some old faces (or should that be faeces). E.T. passing through, looking for a teaching job. Spaghetti Head, who was off to Florida, to check out the damage the hurricane has done to his property. (Or is it the damage his “Ex” is threatening to do).

Points of note were Free Willy - 150 runs. F-Dog (who eventually made it back) - 200 runs. Semen Stains - 250 runs. C. F. - 600 runs T-shirt. It just seems like yesterday I was presenting him with his 100th Run mug. To you all, well done.

Charlie M. dealt with returners, leavers and virgins. What I do remember is there was a great cheer when we discovered that the number one Australian reprobate, Arsehelio, was leaving. Hurry back mate.

Hash Hymn, then it was off to Shenanigans for fantastic fodder and a happy hour full of ambiance. Thank you Kim and staff. An acceptable A-site. A reasonable run. A scintillating circle. Another Hash I survived.
On On,
General Kidney Wiper