Hello Hillary,

(This is the continuation from “Uncle’s” request from last week, wondering what he should do about his attraction to his Thai niece.)

Just as I thought, a fairly easy solution has been found. After discussing the situation with my wife, although she hasn’t mentioned her feeling on the matter, I think she is in agreement that the niece needs another place to live. Didn’t mention whether or not she was in agreement with my proposal, but I suspect not, and doubt she ever mentioned it to the niece. Upon seeing the niece yesterday she removed some of her things and said she would see us today, I hope to remove the rest of her belongings.

So now I don’t have to deal with my feelings for her, as out of sight out of mind, and what she does with her life is totally up to her. I don’t have to be witness to it.

Feel free to post, if you think it may help others who may one day find themselves in a similar situation.

Uncle

Dear Uncle,

You just escaped there, didn’t you, my scheming little Petal. And it was lucky for you, because if you look I have corrected your ‘neice’ into the proper ‘niece’. Do try and remember from now on, Uncle. And also remember that the girls who work in the bars choose that lifestyle. None of them are indentured apprentices, even though some will claim they just got off the bus from Nakhon Nowhere.

Dear Hillary,

I was told many years ago that you shouldn’t let your wife’s family come to stay with you, even just for a few days, as it always ends up for weeks or months. I thought I was lucky because it never happened to me. Relatives might stay one or two nights, but that was it. Recently things have changed a lot now with her brother and her cousin and her mother all staying in the house with us. They all stay in the one room which I think is a bit unhealthy, and they’ve been here for three months and there’s no sign of them leaving. They are quiet and do help around the house and garden, but this wasn’t what I really expected. I asked my wife about it but she just says it’s OK and they’ll be going soon after they brother and cousin have got jobs and mother is just having a holiday. Well I wish I could have three month holidays. What’s the next move, Hillary? Enough’s enough, surely. I have a close family in the UK, but they wouldn’t come and stay forever.

Horace the House Husband

Dear Horace the House Husband,

You are now starting to see a little of what Thai society is all about, my Petal. Family reigns supreme, and it is usual for them all to sleep in the same room. It’s not unhealthy. It is Thai. When you got married, you joined a Thai family, much more than your wife joining your UK family. After all, you married a Thai lady and chose to live in Thailand. You would have to expect that Thai culture will be dominant. You can try voicing your reluctance to have them there, but be prepared for difficulties. This is your wife’s immediate family. You can always try to find them jobs - in a far away city. Lots of luck!

Dear Hillary,

I am an American expat currently based in Japan and let me tell you that the bars here are really expensive, and the girls even more so! Even more than in Vegas. I have now been toying with the idea that I should throw my job in here, even though it is well paid, and move to Thailand and I think Pattaya, as I enjoyed a short furlough there a couple of years ago. What I want to do is open a go-go bar, with some of the ideas I have seen in Japan. I need to know how do you go about hiring staff for a bar over there? Is there an agency that handles this, as I want only top girls, as this will be a top establishment.

Japan a-go-go

Dear Japan a-go-go,

I think the first step would be to write to the Immigration Police in Pattaya and let them know of your intending business venture, and they will help you with the currency exchange and paperwork and put you in touch with the right person in the Labor Department in Chonburi. After that, you should hire a reputable Private Investigator to find the best looking ladies that are left in Pattaya, as most of them are already in Japan working as a waitress, or similar position, and may not wish to return to the chrome pole paradise of Pattaya. It would be such a shame to spend all that money on air fares, just for nothing. What are you going to call your go-go bar, Petal? Nippon or Nip Off a-go-go? Pattaya is waiting with bated breath. If there’s one business that Pattaya is really short of, it’s a go-go bar! Rotsa ruck!