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Dear Hillary,
I work for a large company near Pattaya. Last week, one of our secretaries made a big mistake by mixing up letters (both to important customers). We had big problems because of that and almost lost one of those customers. We gave the girl only a warning for she was in tears and seemed to be very upset about her mistake. Now, only one week later, I heard from the personal manager that she gave notice that she will quit her job. I actually felt sorry for the girl and was just going to convince her to stay, when I heard from another department that she was telling everybody how bad I have treated her. She blamed (of course) some other people for this mistake, even though it was proved that she had done it. She also spread the story around that I did fire her and added on that nobody could stay with me and/or work for me. After hearing all those lies from this girl, I am quite happy that I did not talk to her to ask her to stay. But what upset’s me is, how can those people be lying about me and still be friendly into my face? Do they believe, because I am a Farang, I wouldn’t hear about this gossip?
Upset.
Dear Upset,
Take it easy. Those “lies” are probably meant to save the girl’s face. Some people do not like to admit a mistake and she is probably one of them. If she cannot stand any criticism, be happy you got rid of her. Don’t even try to defend yourself. If I understood it right, you are a kind of boss to her and therefore you have all the right to scold an employee for a bad mistake as long as it not your own fault.

Dear Hillary,
I am an eager reader of your column and I find many of your answers just great. This is the reason why I dare to write to you about my own problems.
I am 21 years old and have been dating a guy for four months now. This man is very special to me and I love him dearly. It has taken me more than twelve months to actually end up with him. But now that I am with him I’ve become very jealous and possessive if any other woman dares to go near him. Recently he asked for a little breathing space and now I have a great fear of us falling apart because of my problem.
There is also tension as he is Thai and I am a white European. Many times I believe he is just together with me to show off to his friends but truly is more attracted by girls of his own kin. I love this guy and could not bear being with him. Is it better if I just walk away?
Jealous.
Dear Jealous,
I wonder whether your jealousy and possessiveness is a pattern or whether it is peculiar to this relationship? If you have known yourself in the past to be jealous this way, then it is probably a problem of self-esteem. Unless the man is a monstrous flirt and a womanizer, acute jealousy is the result of the woman thinking she is not good enough, sexy enough, and/or strong enough to hold him. And even if he actually is a monstrous flirt, the jealous woman could well imagine she doesn’t deserve anyone better. However, if jealousy is not your pattern, then something with this relationship is causing it. What could that be? I am not going to pretend that inter-racial love affairs do not have problems of their own that require great maturity and patience on both sides. Two people must understand themselves very well to face the complications that can arise when two cultures meet in love. Perhaps you are insecure in this relationship because deep down you are uncertain of your own readiness for such a demanding commitment? In any case, he is the one who has asked for breathing space. If you care for him, as it seems to me you do, you must do as he asks. Both of you could use time to think and to be sure. If you are both sure not just of each other but of yourselves, then together you can face whatever difficulties arise.