Family Money: Active Management VS Index Trackers

By Leslie Wright

Share investments, such as funds, cover a large risk spectrum, from the small growing companies to national and global giants with well-established businesses.

What are the chances of a skilful manager of an equities-based fund selecting shares that will outperform the average? There is a long-running debate over whether any “active” manager can consistently, year after year, outperform the stock market as measured by relevant indices, such as the MSCI World Index, the FTSE 100 or the S&P500.

Tracker Funds

“Passive” funds - also known as tracker funds - have the more modest aim of simply tracking a particular market index and can provide good bedrock for an equities’ portfolio. They can sometimes be cheaper as well.

The fund manager does not attempt to predict share-price performance. Instead, the fund either invests in all the companies included in an index or uses a formula to mirror as closely as possible the performance of the index.

Of course, when the index falls these tracker funds also fall in value. But index-tracking funds are generally lower risk than specialist actively-managed funds that concentrate on a particular type of business - telecomms, for instance.

The only problem here is choosing the right index! The benchmark FTSE 100 lost 12% over 2000, for example.

Risk & Return

The performance and risk of actively-managed funds will depend on the sector they invest in. The bigger returns almost always mean bigger risk.

Investors always say they can accept risk - but rarely equate this to “loss”. Nonetheless, when the share price of a risky buy has dropped, all too often they panic and sell, thereby locking in the loss.

Risk really equates to volatility - the up & down movements in the short term. Shrewd investors use this volatility to their advantage: buying in when the market has dropped; selling when the market has risen to a peak.

But this game is more geared towards short-term speculation than long-term investment, and is definitely not for widows, pensioners, or the faint-hearted.

You also have to devote a considerable amount of time to it, and have access to the information with which to make informed decisions. Few amateur investors have either.

Packaged low-risk investments

The financial services industry is always looking for new ways to lure cautious investors out of the deposit account and into the market with low-risk investments.

The workings of many packaged investments are inscrutable to most investors.

Some use complicated financial instruments - futures, options, derivatives - that few understand. Others are wrapped up in insurance policies with opaque and complicated charging structures.

It’s no bad rule to avoid any investment if you do not understand how it works or how the manager levies charges.

It is prudent to seek professional advice before making any investment decision - especially if you’re thinking of buying an investment which you don’t properly understand.

Similarly, if such an investment is being recommended to you by a professional, satisfy yourself that you fully understand how it works, what its benefits and its negative aspects are, and its charges. If you’re in any doubt, ask for clarification.

There’s nothing wrong with asking your financial adviser probing questions: he should be happy to explain his strategic recommendations and the mechanics of the product you’re buying.

And if you’re shy about looking ignorant, remember that it’s better to look a fool for 10 seconds than be a fool for the rest of your life.

If a “specialised” investment promises more than 8%, tread carefully. (And the key word here is “promises” - as opposed to “has the potential to make”, which is quite different. For instance, the average return that can be expected over the long term from an offshore diversified medium-risk portfolio is a quite respectable 10% p.a. - but this could fluctuate between +24% in a good year - e.g., 1999 - and minus 8% in a bad one - e.g., 2000. The 10% return per annum benchmark is the average that can reasonably be expected - and should be demonstrable to you - over the longer term of 5 years-plus.)

With-Profits Policies

The with-profits policy is the oldest of the so-called ‘low-risk’ investments. The idea is that you build up your capital slowly using a fund investing in a wide range of investments. You get regular annual ‘bonuses’ - returns - based on the performance of the underlying investments with a smoothing effect that holds back bonuses in good years in order to maintain a steady bonus in poorer years.

In practice, annual bonuses have become so understated that investors have little idea of the value of their investment until they get the all-important terminal bonus when the policy matures.

With-profits endowment policies are long-term and inflexible investments which many investors come to regret taking out when their circumstances change.

For instance, many UK home-buyers will have taken one out to finance repayment of the principal on interest-only mortgages. But they have subsequently been informed that the projected maturity value of their endowment will be insufficient to pay off their mortgages; and they now have to increase the monthly contributions, or find additional capital to pay off their soon-maturing loans. Not a good position to be in...

Similarly, many mortgage-holders will have sold their homes and moved permanently overseas. They no longer require the endowment, and don’t wish to keep paying into something which is growing at a relatively pathetic rate.

But the penalties that typically apply to cashing in endowments early are harsh.

As a result, a whole new branch of the financial services industry has grown up around trading second-hand endowments. The cash-rich firm buys your endowment from you at a discount (but for more than you would have received had you cashed it with the provider), and holds it to maturity, when the terminal bonus kicks in. That’s how they make a profit (which is why they’re in business, after all).

There are even funds that invest in these TEPs (traded endowment policies), some of which have grown very nicely, and with relatively little volatility.

Shorter-term with-profits bonds may appear to be more attractive but can be subject to mysterious “market value adjustments” when investors want to cash in early.

More flexible and transparent investments, such as collective-investment funds, can offer returns that are just as good with a similar level of risk.

A more recent development is the guaranteed stock market bond. But these bonds can also be inflexible, and typically require the investor to take a minimum five-year view.

That is, you buy in now and forget it for five years, hoping that the bond will perform as per the glossy literature and you get back more than the guaranteed principal. In principle you can’t lose - but you might not gain either. And your money was tied up in the meantime. Investors rarely get the same total return as they would get from a more conventional fund. A tracker fund or other pooled investment fund may well be a better alternative.

But as with any investment, buy only what you feel comfortable with and fully understand.

Leslie Wright is managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected]. Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

By Mirin MacCarthy

President of BHP Steel Thailand at Maptaput is Ian Dickson, an all round Australian great guy; an energetic man of action. Charming, intelligent, quietly humorous and approachable, he does what he does well - managing people in a concerned way and transforming company balance sheets from loss to profit making. Ian explained, “BHP lost one and a half billion baht over the first three years of operation in Thailand. The Asian crisis plus being a start up business produced trade and economic factors that threatened the survival of the company. However, in the last six months we have managed to become profitable, making 150 million baht.”

Some turnaround, just how did Ian achieve that? “People are all important,” he says. “One of the things I do well is work with our people. I consider Thais to be the best employees in South East Asia because of their understanding, commitment and technical skills. If employees are able to understand the opportunities available to them and appreciate what BHP’s goals are, then you can increase their co-operation and participation in fulfilling company objectives.”

Born in the BHP steel city of Wollongong, Australia, many of Ian’s family, including father, cousins and brother in law, have worked for BHP either directly or through subsidiary companies. Ian went to Dapto High School, was good at chemistry and had visions of becoming an industrial chemist. The defining moment came for him when Lysaght offered a scholarship in Metallurgy. Rather than waiting, he decided to study Metallurgy at Wollongong University.

In 1979 he left the research field and moved to a technical position in Westernport Melbourne, but he was there for just six months before being invited to go to the Philippines for a year. Ian then spent every second year in Asia training and commissioning galvanizing plants, with time spent in Malaysia, Thailand, India and the Philippines. He has always been a man on the move. “I was involved in technical development in Westernport for several years, then in 1986 I moved into manufacturing. I found technical development too slow, whereas manufacturing provided new challenges and immediate results.”

In 1992 he commissioned a new metal coating line with a budget of $170 million dollars and introduced new management systems based on self managed work teams. In 1993 challenges at BHP slowed and he left to work with CSR, running several roof tile manufacturing plants. “For the last twelve years I’ve had a different job every year. I guess you could say I am bored easily.” ‘Enjoys a challenge’ could be a more apt description.

In 1997, however, he returned to BHP in KL and in 1999 was asked if he was interested in running the BHP steel business in Jakarta. He was president-director for one year and then took the post as president in Thailand. “In 1990 BHP had a dream of growth in Asia and I am happy to help keep that dream alive in spite of the Asian crisis.”

Ian is not all work and no play either. He has four children from a first marriage and met his delightful second wife Pat when she was H.R. manager for BHP. The couple have been married three years and have seven children between them. Although Ian travels extensively he loves nothing better than playing golf, fishing from the beach, swimming and growing orchids, roses and even vegetables in his fabulous Najomtien garden, as well as sharing time with his friends and family.

Ian is a firm believer in learning. “If you stop learning you have no life. You need to constantly reassess what you are doing and where you are going.” He values personal integrity and it shows. “Integrity is a core value I have. Personal integrity is involved in everything you do and on meeting your commitments and your promises. Another of my goals is having fun.”

“I hope I have taught my children that you get out of life what you put into it. Have a vision of what is important to you and then make the commitment to achieve this. This applies to what you want to be, to do and whatever you value in your life.” Religion does not play a role in his life. “I’m a scientist,” he says simply.

So what are Ian’s plans for the future? “If I was to retire fit and healthy I would consider going into local government (Australian) politics to stay mentally active. In 1990 I was a councillor for Hastings for three years in an independent council; it was a huge learning curve.” Ian Dickson is a born leader; a man with such a natural, disarming, friendly manner that I suspect that diplomacy for him was not the huge learning curve he describes.

His plans for the immediate future are committed to staying with BHP in Thailand for the next two years, “Then I would like to return to Melbourne to spend time with our family. Pat and I will have spent six years working in Asia. Career is not as important to me as the environment I work in and the people I work with.”

What does success mean to him? “Achieving the goals I have set and having the energy to enjoy business and social activities with friends. Our family and friends in Melbourne are important parts of our lives, and we have missed many important events over this time.”

Here stands a man of action, vision, integrity and achievement with a successful track record. I am just sorry that Ian and his talented wife Patricia are not planning on remaining in Thailand forever.

by Mirin MacCarthy

by John D. Blyth

The Location

At almost exactly a distance of 167 miles from London’s King’s Cross station, the East Coast Main Line crosses the West to East M62 Motorway by an over bridge at an almost non-extant place called Great Heck; I identify the location as very near the site of an ancient and long lost station, called simply ‘Heck’. This crossing of rail by road was, at about 06.10 on 28th February, the venue for the latest rail disaster to hit the hard-pressed railways of Britain. Two trains were involved, but the culprit was a Land Rover which left the Motorway at the approach to the over bridge and plunged down the embankment, ending on the running lines. It is not clear why the car left the road; one can speculate on more than one reason.

The Trains

The passenger train involved was the 04.45 from Newcastle-upon-Tyne to London, a regular 12-coach formation electrically powered by a Class 91 locomotive, by-sheer coincidence No. 91 023, just back in service following its involvement in the Hatfield incident of last October. Yes... there are superstitious people in the U.K., too, and this hasn’t escaped their notice. Leaving York the train had about 100 passengers on board; a later train would have around 400-500, and deaths would have been increased accordingly from the 13 recorded. It was this train that hit the fated Land Rover, and carried it forward on its damaged leading vehicle.

The freight train was a block train of coal from Immingham (Grimsby) to a power station at Ferrybridge; worked by one of the new US-built Class 66 heavy freight locomotives of which over 250 were ordered for the railway’s freight sectors by the ebullient but short-lived manager of railway freight, Ed Burkhardt. The train weight has been stated as some 1500 tonnes, that of the passenger train around 600 tonnes.

The Collision

Realising where he was, the Land Rover driver at once spoke to the emergency services on his mobile phone, warning them of the line blockage; he was too late, even as he spoke he heard the approach of the London train, yelled a warning into the phone, and got as far away as possible from danger. The shock of what he saw and heard has, as I write, put him into a condition that precludes him from talking about it. He had no warning at all of the sudden appearance of the coal train on the opposite line from the express. The latter had the Land Rover on its front, fouling the opposite line; part at least of the express train was derailed but all still on the move, and this was hit, very hard indeed, by the front of the freight locomotive.

Chaos now was well in charge, and there was a turmoil of wrecked coaches and coal wagons, the latter unloading hundreds of tonnes of fuel into local gardens; the former with terrified, injured, and in some cases dead, passengers. It has been estimated that it will take some weeks before the line is open again, even for slow movements.

Comments

There is a feature of the East Coast ‘225’ train that may not be well-known; this is the feature known as ‘push-pull’ working. Not uncommon when I was young, but only for purely local services at slow speeds, I admit to my misgivings when the former Southern Region of British Rail, after a long testing period, brought in something similar on the then non-electrified section between Bournemouth and Weymouth; the Bournemouth portion would be taken out of the way and a diesel engine attached to the remaining four coaches, whisking them away to Weymouth, and on the return trip, propelling them back to Bournemouth, to be attached with little delay to the rest of the train, and so - off to London. It seemed to work, but as train speeds increased, so did misgivings; a nasty accident at Polmont, on the Edinburgh-Glasgow line when a propelled train ran into a herd of cows, with enough deaths to cause real concern, led to a directive that no passengers were to be carried in the front coach of a propelled train if speeds of over 100 mph were planned.

I mention all this because the 04.45 Newcastle to London on 28th February was a propelled train; the locomotive, quite undamaged, was at the rear, pushing, the driver, with a full set of controls but 12 coaches away was in a ‘Driving Van Trailer’ (‘DVT’), empty of passengers and only carrying a few bundles of magazines, maybe some out-of-course Post Office traffic, but 90% wasted space. Of late there has been much pressure to lift or modify the directive under some controlled conditions, and some of the new trains being designed seem to assume a relaxation.

Recent events, however, suggest to me that an early easing is very unlikely!

The Great Heck disaster stands out as one in which no member of the railway staff was at fault, nor could any, once the car was on the line, have done anything to save the situation. Apart from the train crews there were no rail staff anywhere near, and had there been it is doubtful if, with so short a timescale, any useful action could have been taken. The driver of the Land Rover acted commendably but too late; however, he will have to explain some time why his vehicle went off the Motorway, seemingly out of control.

The crash barriers erected at any place where a Motorway crosses a railway, or some similar feature, are strong enough to withstand a blow from a 44-tonne truck; their standard length is understood to be 30 meters; in this case the Land Rover appears to have been well behind the barrier, but still reached the railway line.

Thus it seems that even this is nothing to do with the railway, always the scapegoat and always blameworthy, and it will be inevitable that the road lobby will seek to blame the railway, simply for being there. Thinking persons will think straight, and will realise that this is a case for the Highways Authority to look at very closely, and decide whether the length, and even now, the strength of the crash is sufficient, or if either or both ought to be modified to suit local conditions.

So what’s so great about heterosexuality?

It is hard not to notice that there are two schools of thought about the imminent gay parade in Pattaya. Some for it, and some against. That is par for the course. Maybe there are actually three schools of thought - the third being those who don’t care if we hold the parade or not. I think in our special district of Pattaya, that school of thought may hold the largest attendance. To survive in Pattaya, one must be extremely open minded about a very long list of social situations. We long term residents of the land of the ‘free’ are made of bamboo, we bend with the winds. The mighty oaks break and fall.

Many cities around the world hold gay parades; San Francisco and Sydney are a couple of examples. And like Carnival in Rio and New Orleans, they seem to be not so much a political or social statement as just another fun excuse for a party. It has been suggested that to hold a parade for our city’s gay community it is somehow making a point on sexual preference, and that if heterosexuals held one, it would imply that as well. That may have been true 30 years ago, but well organised parades which are set up as charity events are not the same as street protests or public service messages. Manhattan holds one of the world’s most elegant (and hilarious) style shows for dogs every year. If one day the city decides to do the same thing for cats, I doubt that New York City residents who own dogs will all take them to the vet’s and have them put to sleep. Of course not! After a few years of marriage to anyone of either sex, the dog is the only one still glad to see you when you get home.

I have my own suspicions on why gays have come out of the ‘closet’ and feel they can live their lives out in the open with dignity. The Battle of the Sexes has been the longest ongoing war in human history. Heterosexual couples have not been the best of examples when it comes to human relationships. Most men trash women as a competitive sport. And women do the same. Put a group of same sex people together and until Western nations legislated against it, it was everyone’s favorite hobby, way behind smoking and golf.

Take a woman’s locker room at the local fitness club for example. My sources tell me there is no other subject more lively than putting their husbands or boyfriends behind the 8-ball. My neighbour said the only difference between her husband and her boyfriend was - 45 minutes. Her Thai friend countered that in Thailand, the Thai men’s idea of safe sex was a padded headboard. (I could have added that from checking out the beaches, the only difference between a girlfriend and a wife was about 45 kilos.)

In the USA where lawsuits are the nation’s favorite hobby, talking dirty to a woman is called Sexual Harassment and is backed up by stiff penalties. When a women talks dirty to a man, it now comes in the form of a lawyer’s invoice and costs about $200 an hour.

My gay friends had the last word. They decided that the only reason a man chases a woman, even though he has no serious intentions of marrying her or even entering into a long term relationship with the lady, is the very same reason a dog chases a car, without ever intending to drive it. I guess we’d all better lighten up and enjoy the parade.

by Richard Bunch

From Jack, Pattaya: I will shortly be traveling overseas and want to be able to collect my e-mail from KSC as easily as possible during this period. I will be staying both with friends and in hotels and will probably be using Internet cafes mostly. I seem to remember that you have advised how to do this before, but I can’t seem to find it in back issues.

Computer Doctor replies: Actually Jack, you are not alone and this is something that I have received several requests for over the last few weeks. The easiest solution is to use a web-based solution like http://www.netcafeguide.com/mail/ - this is a free service and works very well, all you need is your e-mail address, login name and password. The alternative is to set up your account in the e-mail client that is available to you, Outlook, Outlook Express, Eudora, etc., but this is time consuming and of course you need to delete the account after you’ve checked your mail.

From Simon Jackson, Na Jomtien: I have a Dell Notebook PC that I have brought with me from England. At the moment I do not have a land line telephone and want to use my Nokia mobile telephone which has infrared facility to access the Internet. I have already purchased a Loxinfo Instant Access Kit. I have never used the telephone like this before but I know friends who have, but they can’t tell me why mine doesn’t work. When I try to setup the Dial Up account, I can only see the internal modem as available. How do I get it to recognize the mobile?

Computer Doctor replies: When you purchased the telephone you would almost certainly have been given a CD containing software and drivers necessary to effect the connection. Once installed, you will be able to select your mobile when setting up the Dial Up account. You will also need to activate the infrared service on the telephone and place it within range of the receiver on the Notebook. If you cannot find your CD, you can download the software from http://www.nokia.com

From Jackie Keen, Pattaya: I have a Toshiba Notebook PC and have decided that I really should back up my data on a regular basis. One of the reasons that I have kept putting it off is that I don’t know what the best way is. I could use floppies but it would take an enormous quantity and would be very slow. Please suggest my best option.

Computer Doctor replies: These days there really isn’t anything to better a rewritable CD. These are quick, reliable and easily transportable. Most modern Notebook PC’s have a USB port and it is possible to connect a USB rewritable CD as required. One of the most cost effective is from Iomega, which will cost around 9,000 baht.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or fax to 038 427 596 or e-mail to [email protected] The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.

Richard Bunch is managing director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. providing professional services which include custom database and application development, website design, promotion and hosting, computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, pro audio solutions, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. For further information, please e-mail [email protected] or telephone/fax 038 716 816 or see our website www.act.co.th

by Apichart Panyadee

Great coral reefs of the world

We have acknowledged that Australia’s Great Barrier Reef is the planet’s largest living organism, and the vast and complex ecosystem which it supports. However, there are many remarkable coral reefs in tropical waters, and each is distinctive, and supports many different species, which are indicative to each particular reef.

Gray moray eels from the Red Sea

Japan’s tropical ocean is warmed by the Kuroshio (Japan Current). This current brings tropical marine life to Japan’s seas. Translated, Kuroshio means “black stream”. This stream supports fertile fishing grounds in Suruga Bay and neighbouring Sagami Bay. Both are off the south coast of Honshu, Japan’s largest island.

Japan has designated an extensive system of marine parks which are controlled jointly by a national park service and commercial fishermen. The seas teem with mullet, squid, cuttlefish, cardinal fish, and it is here they swarm in a forest of wire coral and black coral reefs. Divers avoid the bizarre scorpion fish. It often lies hidden on the seafloor, waiting quietly for an unwary visitor. This fish is a master of mimicry and camouflage. Its colour and texture changes to match its surroundings, and the disguise allows a potential meal to swim within striking distance. These creatures possess strong, venomous fin spines which can inflict deep and painful wounds for the uninitiated diver.

The harlequin moray eel, like other morays, lurks in holes or between boulders. Basically it is shy and only attacks when threatened or hungry. It usually emerges at night, and can swallow a fish or a crab in one gulp. The harlequin rarely strikes divers, but can mistake human hands for prey, inflicting serious wounds. Horn like nostrils protrude from the top of its snout, prompting the Japanese to call it the “tiger eel”.

The Red Sea

The Red Sea stretches 1,300 miles from Bab al Mandab, to the Sinai Peninsula and the Gulfs of Suez and Aqaba. Only 190 miles at its widest point, the Red Sea was formed some 25 million years ago as Africa and the Arabian Peninsula drifted apart.

Lion fish

Though no one knows for sure how the Red Sea got its name, one theory holds forth that it came from certain algae, which turned the normally intense blue-green water into a reddish brown when they died. The sea itself contains the ocean’s warmest and saltiest waters. A continental shelf gives way to waters reaching depths of more than 7,000 feet. The diversity and beauty of underwater life in the Red Sea stand in stark contrast to the gnarled and barren rock forming its southern tip. The land is a desert, but the sea is a cornucopia of underwater life.

Papua New Guinea

The country of Papua New Guinea occupies the eastern half of New Guinea, the world’s second largest island, lying off the coast of Australia. Just south of the equator, Papua New Guinea’s seas harbor some of the worlds most extensive and diverse coral reefs. The most profuse reefs are found clinging to the slopes of outlying islands. The seas off Cape Vogel contain some of this region’s richest coral reefs. Fed by natural land runoff from abundant rainfall, these reefs slope down from near vertical cliffs. The Solomon Sea, north of Cape Vogel, is characterized by deep trenches, some reaching depths of nearly 30,000 feet.

The Caribbean seas

Only 10 to 15 million years old, the Caribbean coral reefs are less diverse than their 60-70 million year old counterparts. But they are rich in marine life. Near Grand Cayman Island, divers find stingrays, squid and other invertebrates. Stingrays locate their food using highly developed electro-receptors, and a finely tuned sense of smell and touch. The stingray often lies partially buried in the sea’s sandy bottom. Its whip-like tail can drive a tail spine into an intruder and inflict a painful wound.

by Lesley Warner 

In the Hot Spots: To get you in some sort of mood for the upcoming festival of water, water and copious quantities of powder (otherwise known as Songkran), the Planet Rock ogling den and party palace (Pattayaland Soi 2) is holding a Miss Songkran contest on Wednesday, April 4.

The show kicks off at around 11 p.m. and will be hosted by the Pattaya Mail’s own Dr Iain Corness. I might add that the good medico will also be doubling up as one of the judges, a task that he doubtless accepted under duress, although I’m certain he will find himself rising to the occasion.

The Planet Rock ogling den has really come along in leaps and bounds in recent times and ranks as one of the better party places in town with management constantly looking for new and innovative ideas. The Miss Songkran contest has been billed as ‘a wet and wild affair’, just the thing to liven up a quiet Wednesday evening for those who are normally lodged in front of the giggle box with a cup of cocoa in hand.

In the Boozers: The Asylum boozer (Soi Chaiyapoom, aka Chockapom) is a bar that caters to those with eclectic tastes (whatever that means). Discmaster Rob has decided that he wants to give his extensive record collection a real workout, so he has introduced a theme for each night of the week, featuring different styles of music for your listening pleasure. The vinyl starts revolving at around 7 p.m. and goes on until midnight.

Monday nights are Dub and Reggae, Tuesday he plays Blues and Jazz, Wednesday it’s Ska n Dub while Thursday he cranks up the volume with Rock and Metal. Friday is Dance music night and then on Saturday, he goes all Punk and Retro. Sunday night it’s ‘anything goes’ (hopefully this refers primarily to the music).

Every Friday night from around 8 p.m. the bar serves up free Indian nosh like curry, chicken tikka and roti’s (whatever they are). No, balloon chasers are not welcome.

There’s a playground for children located at the side of the bar with swings and see saws; please note, I said ‘children’s playground’. Carlsberg Draught is at 40 baht in Happy Hour (from Midday until 2 p.m.) or just 50 baht at other times. Just look for the Welsh flag hanging in the breeze (that’s the one with a red dragon-like creature which looks like it stepped on the unwelcome droppings of an oversized baboon).

For the Hungry: The Pizza Service (South Pattaya Road, just before the junction with Third Road) has been operational for just over a year now and has slowly but surely built a bit of a following with the thin and crispy brigade. They are the only pizza place offering a free delivery service 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Pizza’s start at 160 baht and with Songkran about to rear its wet and powdery head, I’m tipping they’ll do plenty of business among those foreigners who adopt a siege mentality during the eight or nine days of water-borne madness. For those who want to contact Pizza Service just telephone (038) 411 094. Delivery time depends on where you happen to live, but it’s generally around 20 minutes or so.

What kind of ball skills? The Spicy Girls Too ogling den (Pattayaland Soi 1) recently decided to try something a little innovative by putting their dancing maidens in short, tight football shirts on Saturday and Sunday nights. Unfortunately, the new uniforms didn’t quite make it in the sensuous stakes and the head honchos in the den have decided to go back to the tried and tested bikini formula. Nevertheless, it’s well worth a visit as the place has good atmosphere, reasonable music and the dancing maidens are generally quite friendly and upbeat.

For the expanding waistline: The Amor munching den, situated in Pattayaland Soi 3, just a few doors up from the Cafe New Orleans noshery, has always had a reputation for fine cuisine but being a cultural Neanderthal, I only recently made the effort of finding out what all the fuss was about.

Run by Richard Burk, who in a past life held sway over the Dusit Resort, the noshery exudes class and style but the piece de resistance (and my piece of resistance was definitely lacking) is the chocolate fudge cake. I will confess to being a chocaholic (as well other things ending in holic) so this was the real reason I went to the feed bin. The mouthwatering dinner was just a front for the dessert.

A slice, and it is elegant sufficiency in my book, will set you back 90 baht, but it’s worth every satang and if you’re really good, Uncle Richard might just let you lick the bowl.

My e-mail address is: [email protected]

by C. Schloemer

Good points: devoted to owner, excellent worker/herder, favoured for obedience trials, protective

Take heed: tendency to over guard, not a lap dog, but a worker that needs a task in life

The German Shepherd has one of the largest followings in the world. It is also a breed which arouses strong emotions in the public. They either worship the German Shepherd or truly dislike the breed. If a smaller breed takes a nip out the postman’s trousers, the misdeed may go unreported. But if a German Shepherd is involved, there is likely to be newspaper headlines blaring: “German Shepherd Savages Postman”. This emotive response may come partly from the breed’s history of tasks it has been trained to perform, and partly from misinformation.

The German Shepherd is a highly intelligent breed, debatably the most courageous. Dobermans have been used in all of the same guard, police and military tasks that the German Shepherds work in. However, in the USA, the Doberman has been replaced in certain types of work. American police and military dog handlers have found that after experience in the field, the Doberman will sometimes refuse to attack on command if the opponent has a gun. The Doberman breed may possess such high intelligence that it senses when it cannot win in a combative situation. The German Shepherd will usually obey a command which the Doberman might refuse. Not because it lacks intelligence, but because of its heroic courage.

German Shepherds have fought bravely and many have lost their lives in two World Wars. They are still the most favoured to perform jobs in police and military situations. They are a popular guard dog and are still among the most favoured for use as seeing eye dogs for the blind. If this breed has a drawback, it may be that it can become over protective and may menace a stranger at the gate. It can also turn nasty if confined and sheer boredom sets in. This dog should not be neglected. The German Shepherd needs a job, whether it is in the ring, on the farm, or in public service. It makes a fine herding animal and is a certain winner in obedience trials.

Size: The ideal height from highest point of the shoulders is 56-61 cm for bitches; 61-66 cm for dogs. The proportion of length to height varies between 10.9 and 10.8 cm.

Exercise: This breed needs plenty of exercise, both free running and on the lead. The German Shepherd will excel at the local dog training club or obedience school. He will be sent and retrieve. Remember, these dogs are used as “sniffer” dogs for illegal drugs and to find black boxes after airline crashes. Obedience training, even as a family pet, is essential for this breed.

Grooming: Daily brushing is recommend.

Origin and history: The German Shepherd is attributed by some to the Bronze Age wolf. This is probably an unfortunate suggestion in that it suggests wolf-like traits in the breed. Certainly around the 7th Century AD, a sheepdog of this type existed in Germany. This dog had a lighter coat. But by the 16th Century, its coat had darkened. The breed was first exhibited at a dog show in Hanover in 1882. A German dog fancier named Stephanitz did much to improve its temperament and physical appearance. The German Shepherd was first introduced into Britain following the First World War by a small band of dedicated fanciers who had seen the breed working in Germany. As the breed had come from Alcace, it became known in the UK as the Alsatian. Only in 1971 did the British Kennel Club agree to the breed being known once more as the German Shepherd.

by Marion

The four forms of DIY non-institutionalized recovery from alcohol are:

1. Through a private therapist
2. With the help of a self-help support group
3. As a bottomed out Instant decision
4. Through a “maturing out process”

Seeing a private therapist?

If you are fortunate to locate a counsellor or psychologist who is practical and supportive and doesn’t regress into the time consuming, “When did you first start hating your horse” approach, then counselling can be an invaluable, effective recovery tool. A sympathetic counsellor can be very effective in pointing out the flawed thinking that is involved in addictive behaviours. People who are compelled to take excessive amounts of alcohol or drugs or cigarettes, in spite of the health and social consequences (no matter what they label themselves), have a problem with life and living and coping. A trained therapist may be of great help in suggesting ways for a more manageable way of life. A doctor, a priest, a minister or a monk, anyone who is non-judgmental and able to reflectively listen, will be able to be of immense help in showing the way.

Self help support group

Self help support groups encourage their members to see their problems as just that - problems, and not to build their identities around the problem. Yeeha! It is too easy to say, “Hey I’m an alcoholic, drug addict or whatever,” and make that an excuse to behave in an irresponsible rat bag way. Self help support programmes provide temporary help and not life long dependence. They encourage personal autonomy and promote a mental health approach to recovery. Rational - emotive therapy (and there are some excellent books on it written by D. E Ellis), together with transactional analysis and reality therapy are not just airy-fairy theories but behavioral approaches that develop mental health and personal independence. Granted, it may be difficult to locate such enlightened groups here; however, in the interim the recommended book, “Problem Drinkers - Guided Self Change Treatment” may be an invaluable help. This book describes a tested, motivationally based treatment specifically designed for problem drinkers. The treatment is brief and highly cost effective, and the procedures practical and easily implemented.

Do you really want to go the bottomed out route?

These are extremely sobering pertinent facts from Jack Trimpey, “The Small Book”:

“Persistent use of intoxicants impairs your ability to think, and even though you are intelligent and seem to understand what you read you may fail to have awareness of your own addictive thinking. In order to hear your mental voices that lead you to drink you must stop drinking and at least intend to stay stopped.

“When the pain and the losses caused by your habit exceed the pleasure you get from it you will be ready to quit. When you have suffered enough you will finally quit. If you really want to stop drinking you can quit right now and you know it. There is nothing to stop you from doing so. Quitting alcohol or drugs is simply a matter of making a decision and then sticking to it by stubbornly refusing to indulge.”

Who wants to hit rock bottom, derelict, skid row, with no friend or family or home? As they say in the classics, “It is better to be three steps away from hell and walking away then 100 miles away and running towards!”

Maturing out?

Maturing out is nothing to do with age. Or doing nothing at all and time will fix.

It is a process of assessing where you stand in life and what a particular habit means to you and what it does to you and others as well. It is setting realistic goals for change, based on your personal resources and values. You must strengthen your life as you strive to change your habit, and creating environments for yourself and others that make addiction both unnecessary and undesirable.

Be your own tailor

These four DIY approaches can be designed to your own personal need just by using a little common sense. There are other options to institutional help which will always have a place; however, it is not the only road to go. In the words of Vince Fox, “Addictions damage your best friend - you - and they always harm others.” No-one lives in a vacuum. “People who maintain their addictive habits tend to be selfish and are often unaware that their lifestyles have a truly rotten effect on their spouses, friends, employers, employees, and families. You have just read about several ways out of the mess you are in. Pick the one that suits you - and knock it off.”

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

The energy and enthusiasm of this sun and moon combination is highly focused and grounded by a practical and secure emotional nature. These individuals project a charming aura of self-worth and inner calm. It is true that they may not have the flair and excessive energy of their fellow Ariens, for the fire of their Sun sign is grounded by the Taurus earth provided in the Moon sign. They do, however, have the patience, caution, and most of all, the common sense to assure the success which they crave.

Speech is easy and graceful in this particular combination; these people will measure their words carefully, which enhances their salesmanship. Ambition is very pronounced here. Personal magnetic charm and powers of persuasion are hallmarks of this combination, which uses these attributes to fulfill dreams and goals. Perhaps a little more slowly than a typical Aries fire driven personality, but nonetheless, this person is slated for high achievement. Committed to action and the work ethic, material security will be a primary concern. The underlying sensual nature which exists here, will make comfort, good food, and pleasure and luxury all top priorities.

An eye for money management will always assure this Sun-Moon sign has all of the good things in life. Unfortunately, a silent drive for material acquisition could become so all-consuming as to tip some personalities off balance. People with this propensity must strive to search for some spiritual and esoteric enhancement to their characters, in order that they may gain enrichment in other areas other than the purely physical.

Few signs can match this group of individuals for sheer determination and perseverance. Basically kind and sympathetic, they never have to resort to cruel or ruthless behavior to attain their goals. But, like most natives born into this combination, it is nearly impossible to prove them wrong.

A little advice to this Sun-Moon sign is in order. It is true that the Aries-Taurus is a bastion of common sense and deep convictions, it may prove politic occasionally to bend a little and release that tight grip on some fixed biases. Learning to become a bit more flexible to changing times and different viewpoints could prove a happy learning experience. The ability to adapt and compromise can make a closed mind open to many wonderful possibilities.

Many people in this category have strong artistic and creative inclinations. Luckily, they are in possession of the concentration and discipline which is required to master the creative mediums. Although individuals in this group may be magnetically drawn into business, they also may be harboring a secret ambition to work in the arts. But that Moon in Taurus might prevent them from embarking on what they might regard as a shaky career. They don’t want to jeopardize their security, even if in the end, the result might prove more edifying.

The challenge for these personalities will be to face up to their fears which keep them from fulfilling a gifted potential and a more rewarding lifestyle. This combination already suggests financial security in most choices of career, so perhaps they should stop worrying so much about money and pursue that which makes them most happy. Perhaps the money will follow along by itself when the need to create is satisfied.

The Aries-Taurus has a highly sensual nature which must be attended to in order to feel that sense of well-being. They are not a very experimental group, that is certain. So they need to seek endurance and stability in chosen partnerships, whether it is marriage or lasting friendships. Often inflexible and stubborn in their love lives, some will be prone to jealous rages. Though highly fluent and expressive when urged to communicate, if left to their own devices, they tend to bottle up their feelings until they blow their tops in temper tantrums. It is wise for these people to acknowledge that it will benefit them immensely if they learn to share their thoughts and desires freely and with a little more abandon. This new way of expression can release suppressed anxiety and others around them will come to a new understanding of what makes this combination tick.

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