Dear Hillary,
I noticed there was a letter a couple of weeks ago from some chap who had gotten divorced in Europe where he was complaining about losing everything, “… divorce meant a nearly financial ruin in case the man had a good income and property and so on. Plus the money you had to pay for the children. You had to share what you both own (house car) and you had to pay your ex-wife too because she had to take care the children and could not work.”

The same goes for men divorcing in Australia and I believe in America. You can see why the pre-nup agreements started coming in. As the guy wrote, “Moaners and groaners crying for the loss of 2 million Thai baht? Peanuts!” Like most things in Thailand, there is a price to it, but nothing like it is in the western world. And yes, I’ve been divorced too.
Johnson

Dear Johnson,
I can see you are still bitter about it too. Unfortunately, every marriage break-up has a price, both emotionally and financially, and there is no “Wisdom of Solomon” rule book to make it simple and cheap. Unfortunately, Petal, the answer is to not rush into marriage, even though divorce is cheaper here. Remember that decisions made in haste are repented at leisure.

Dear Hillary,
I was in at the Pattaya Mail last week and saw an (may I say it) “elderly” lady sitting at a desk in the back of the office. Was that you? Like lots of people here, I’ve been dying to meet you and see what you look like. Did I get it right? And is your hair done with a blue rinse?
Jacob

Dear Jacob,
You must be pulling my leg, Petal. Is Hillary a member of the ‘blue rinse set’? No, I do not use a blue rinse, though sometimes my salon lady will add a little black to the final rinse. No, I do not have an office desk at the back of the ground floor, though some days it is tiring going up all those steps to my attic at the top of the building. (I must ask the editor to install a lift!)

Dear Hillary,
One of my good friends here is enjoying himself just a little too much. Too much hooch and too much Hula hoops with the ladies. He is 52 years old and I don’t think he’s going to make it through to 53. How can I get him to see reason, or even just slow down a bit? I don’t want to have to send him home to his wife in Australia in a wooden box.
Wilson

Dear Wilson,
Hula hoops? That’s a new one on me, Petal. I thought that hula hoops were those large circular rings you wobble round your tummy to get slim. At least your friend will have good muscle tone. And his wife wants him on a wooden box? Are they that short of firewood in Australia?
ATM on the blink

Dear Hillary,
I am sure you’ve heard it all before, but I think I am being ripped off. My girlfriend (Thai) has recently started to ask me for more money than she normally gets for housekeeping and the monthly wage I give her. It was just a few hundred baht here and there to start with, but now she needs thousands at a time. When I ask her why she needs the extra she gets sulky and when I really push her for an answer the best I get is “for family - you farang no understand.” Hillary, is there something here that I should understand, or what? I am getting very tired of the continual cash hand-outs.
Andy

Dear ATM Andy,
It sounds like there is lots you don’t understand. “Family” is important to a Thai and is one of the strongest bonds for the individual. Family keeps them together, family gets them over problems of all types, financial and otherwise. It is very similar to the Chinese borrowing system - but there is always pay-back time. Your girlfriend may be returning money borrowed from before - in that time in her life B.A. - before Andy. She may also be helping her brother/mother/father/cousin/buffalo (delete that which is not applicable) out of a jam. And on the other hand, she may be gambling with it, another very common Thai pastime. You really have to start communicating better with your girlfriend, Petal, if you want to know where the money goes. Do this in a non-threatening way, then you will find out where the money goes. If it ends up in sulkiness or accusations, then it is time to review the entire relationship and handle the housekeeping yourself. I also worry about relationships where the “girlfriend/wife” is paid a “wage” each month. For what, Andy? For staying with you, putting up with you, or what. We call that having a “mia chow” (rented wife), and a master and servant relationship will always fail, in my experience. Thai women may look meek and mild, but they’re not. They most certainly are not, and when pushed will bite back. That is something else you have to understand, Andy.