Dear Hillary,
You know it is pretty interesting to me to always hear the gents writing in about expectations of feminine fidelity when virtually none of them practice it themselves. I have yet to meet a man who does not cheat even within a happy relationship.
Robert

Dear Robert,
I think there is a difference between “fidelity” and “cheating”. My understanding of these two concepts in Thailand is that “fidelity” is an honest and mental relationship, where “cheating” is clandestine and not open at all and is physical. “Fidelity” is then possible on the surface while “cheating” is below the surface - making it possible to have a happy relationship as you said, while cheating. In the end, if you are in a relationship, keep it honest and don’t lie. Lying is the start of the end of any relationship, as many people have found out.

Dear Hillary,
Robert (letter above) is correct as I, and several of my associates, are in committed relationships and “cheat” as often as we think we can get away with it.
Nod

Dear Nod,
As you can see, I rearranged the letters in your name, so that you can remain anonymous. Now, does your partner, who you cheat on, read the Pattaya Mail? I hope not, as your wicked secret might be uncovered, though my clever rearrangement should keep you safe, but does your partner raise ducks, by the way? Stay away from the duck’s enclosure.
Dear Hillary,
Several months ago I hit you with a curly one dealing with table manners. You came up with the right answer. Now I have a question on the English Language. Somehow I believe we have been taken over by stealth. Being of the older group, I always used the word “Got”. Now when I read a book the word “Gotten” appears over and over. Which is correct? He had got on the bus, or he had gotten on the bus? I suspect one is English and the other American. Hear from you later?
Bill

Dear Bill,
So where’s my bottle of bubbles for having got (gotten) the right answer before? Now you want me to enter your latest quiz as well! However, you are quite correct, my Petal. The Americans, having been English and taken over the English language with the Mayflower and then proceeded to massacre the purity of communication (along with several scores of Red Indians). However if you think “gotten” is bad, how about the song sung by Lauryn Hill which goes:
“You’re just too good to be true.
Can’t take my eyes off of you.”
What is this “off of” may I ask you, this being your turn to answer the questions, until I get my rewards from last time!

Dear Hillary,
Is my girl serious? I have been to Pattaya three times and I have been with the same girl every time. I am 36 and she is 27 and she has been working in the bar for about nine months. She asked me that next time I come to Thailand she wants me to go to her home near Chaiyaphum to meet her family. Is that a sign that she wants to have a serious relationship with me or does she have other motives?
Papa G
Dear Papa G,
Open your wallet and say after me, “Help yourself!” You have now joined the bar girls retirement benefit fund. So help me! You have been to Pattaya three times and met a lovely young lady of 27 who has only worked in the bar for nine months, and you are wondering is this paragon of virtue (other than the last nine months or so) wants to have a serious relationship with you. Give me strength! You hardly know this woman and she hardly knows you, other than the fact you paid well last time. Is this what you base “serious relationships” on? She has serious designs on your bank account Papa G my unsuspecting Petal, that’s all that is happening here. I suggest that instead of losing your money to the 27 year old (and probably much older if truth ever be known) from Chaiyaphum, you just donate it to your favorite charity, or buy me several cases of French champagne, and then climb back under your rock again.

Dear Hillary,
Have Thai people some amazing bladder control or what? There’s no public toilets so what do they do when caught short? I’ve seen adult size pampers in the supermarkets, but I’m damn sure that not everyone has secret underpants. Enlighten me, Hillary.
Kev

Dear Kev,
So it is the lack of public toilets that makes for “amazing” Thailand for you, my Petal? However, I can relieve you of all the mental (or bladder) strain very easily. Just do as the Thai males have done for centuries - look for short time rooms. But think of the plight of us ladies. We are far too polite to go to ST rooms on our own, so we have to be a little bit smarter. With so many hotels everywhere, we just march straight into the foyer, and the toilets are in the far corner on the right. Check it out!