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Creepy Crawlers give
Quizzers the itch
“In the classic science fiction movie Them, what sort of
creatures were they?” “What kind of phobia is fear of spiders?”
The Wednesday trivial pursuits boozers’ league resumed after the holiday
break and found quizzers in good form. The average score was 91/120 or an
impressive 76%. A complete round on insects found the men scratching their
ankles and the women adjusting their bras. Door to door salesmen still have
not worked out why they were being asked for insect repellent rather than
Marlborough Lights and there were a few waspish comments.
Rivals for top dog position, Fawlty Towers and Bob’s, bit the dust for once.
The top scores went to Rising Sun, Aussie Ken’s and Cheers. No clear winner
has yet emerged although there is only one week to go in the current season.
Both Fawlty Towers and Bob’s are expected to produce their long range cannon
in the final assault. Shame on the couple of bars, not named for fear of
retribution, who got wrong the question in the trivia round on which year
the Pattaya Mail first appeared.
Meanwhile, on the Sunday Quiz front, Cheers and Palmer’s are battling it out
although there are several weeks to go. But on January 5, Rising Sun made
another surprise dawn raid and managed a top score of 84% against an average
for all bars of 73%. Spotter planes soon noticed a mistake by the question
setter when the novel Wuthering Heights was attributed to Charles Dickens
instead of the Bronte brood. Ouch! Do not pass Go. Do not collect two
hundred pounds. The quiz administration took their phones off the hook for a
full 48 hours.
The answer to the questions above are “Ants”, “Arachno-phobia” and the
Pattaya Mail start date is printed underneath the front page logo on every
issue. Scores now are:
Interested parties need only show up at the venues listed
in the Sports Round-up column of Pattaya Mail every Sunday and Wednesday
evening at 8:30 p.m.
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Pattaya Golf Society
1997 got off to a flying start with a large field of
players for the Pattaya Golf Society Stableford competition at Siam Country
Club. Arthur Bailey tackled the course the best so far this year, winning
the first PGS tournament for 1997. Arthur put together 4 pars and a birdie
en route to compiling 36 Stableford points.
Ken Carr finished second with 35 Stableford points. Peter Johannson placed
third with 33 points, winning on count back. John Gibson finished fourth,
also with 33 points. Colin Morgan rounded out the top five, also with 33
points.
Peter Johannson, Pattaya Golf Society Chairman, told Pattaya Mail, “Siam
Country Club is in very good shape. The greens must be amongst the best in
the area. A mix of breeze, sun and clouds made the day next to perfect.”
The Pattaya Golf Society plays various courses every Tuesday, meeting at the
First House Hotel on Soi Buakao. Transportation is available leaving around
10:30 a.m. The next tournament will be stroke play at Eastern Star on
January 21. All golfers are welcome to join the fun.
The sports editor of Pattaya Mail would like to apologize to the Hare House
on Soi Post Office. Last week, we inadvertently printed that the Pattaya
Golf Society held their holiday party at First House, when in fact it was at
the Hare House. Sorry Wayne and Steve.
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Yankinavians regain Ryder Cup
The winning “Yankinavian” team
in the Ryder Cup.
The Americans from Shakey Pete’s, with a large contingent
of Scandinavian help, won the Ryder Cup match played against the Rest of the
World team from the Pleasure Dome 10.5 to 8.5 on Wednesday, January 8, 1997
at Bang Phra.
The Yankinavians started out strong, slid a little in the stretch, then
finished strong to capture their second straight competition.
Brian Ewen won a free green fee, donated by Doug Powell, for achieving
closest to the pin honors on #2. Mats Song and Roger Rush each won golf
umbrellas donated by Jim “The Bizz” for winning nearest the pins on #’s 8 &
12 respectively. Mike Riley earned a “green chair” donated by the Pleasure
Dome for his closest to the pin effort on #17.
Match results:
Matts & Suen (Am) defeated Neil & Terry (ROW) 3 - 0. Roger & Brian (ROW)
beat Bill & Gerard (Am) 2.5 - .5. Jim & Harry (ROW) defeated Bill & Herbie
(Am) 2.5 - .5. Paul & Mike (Am) beat Arthur & Dick (ROW) 3 - 0. Niall &
Martin (ROW) beat Roberto & Marian (Am) 2 - 1. Roger & Michael (Am) split
with Tony & Gary (ROW) 1.5 each. Harvey (Am) defeated Jerry (ROW) 1 - 0.
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Jack’s back out in lead
Jack’s Bar has once again rolled out to the early lead in the Pattaya
Wednesday Night Darts League. Last season’s champions have taken up where
they left off, winning every match so far this season, and all but four
games along the way.
Sweet Dream has been the surprise team so far this season. Relative
newcomers to the league, Sweet Dream has taken the early lead in the race
for second place.
After four weeks, Odd from Jack’s Bar has grabbed the early lead for most
check outs with 20. Noy from Londoner 2 has achieved the highest check out
so far, 116. John, also from the “Dream Team” from Londoner 2, leads the
league with most individual tons, 30.
Results from week 4: Jack’s Bar defeated Wild Chicken 6 to 3. Sweet Dream
over Tippy’s 7 to 2. Londoner 2 beat Mick’s Place 2, 5 to 4. Texxan Inn
defeated Toi’s Place 5 to 4. Mick’s Place 1 beat Londoner 1, 6 to 3.
Splinter Golf Group
6 January, Monday - Natural Park Hills
Stableford Competition
B Flight: 1st Harvey Witherwell, 35 points. 2nd Richard Holt, 31 points. 3rd
Martin Furzer, 24 points (won on count back).
A flight: 1st Mark Thomas, 34 points. 2nd Bill Thompson, 31 points. 3rd
Gerard Lambert, 27 points.
The clear winner on another beautiful Pattaya day was the Natural Park Hills
Golf Course. This Ronald Fream design proved once again to be the toughest
layout in Pattaya. Not a single Splinter golfer in the A or B flights
reached his or her handicaps with only Harvey “Wild Man” Witherwell and Mark
“3 Jack” Thomas coming close. Average Stableford scores on the day for all
golfers were a dismal 24 points (net 84). The rapidly improving Harvey put
his good form on the day down to late nights and early affinity for rubbing
alcohol (he refuses to say where it was rubbed). Mark, who hits the ball
like a 5 and putts like a 36, had a typical round - on in two on the tough
par 5 - 14th, Mark managed to sink a pressure packed four footer for par. If
you are a golfer in need of a challenge or your normal evening activities
involve leather and chains, then Natural Park Hills may be the course for
you.
10 January, Friday - Laem Chabang, Stroke Competition
A flight: Sven Berthelsen, net 70. Mike Riley, net 75. Neil Monroe, net
75 (lost on count back). Norman Brooks, net 76.
B flight: Martin Furzer, net 70. Richard Holt, net 72. Arthur Bailey, net
74. Harry Riley, net 75.
A sunny day over one of the premier layouts in Thailand. Sven Berthelsen and
Martin Furzer certainly thought it was a good day with both turning in net
70s to dominate their respective flights. It is good to see Martin back in
the winners circle after an extended absence, as well as Sven who is
appearing for the first time as a Splinter winner. Good rounds by Mike
Riley, Neil Monroe and Norman Brooks in A flight put them in the money. The
always dangerous pair of Arthur Bailey and Harry Riley also made the money
in B. A notable round was turned in by Richard Holt, the rapidly improving
(former) 20 handicapper had seven pars and one birdie to carry the recently
returned Steve Ross to a win in a private bet over Messrs. Thompson and
Collis. With eight no returns the remainder of the field had an average net
score of 80 for the day. The Nicklaus layout, which many consider to be his
best effort in Asia, is always a treat to play, though, unfortunately, the
quality of management, caddies, and clubhouse takes a great deal away from
what should be one of Thailand’s best golf venues.
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Reaper and Toto triumph at Wayne’s B-day Invitational
Division 1 winner Derek Reaper
receives his “Knotted Putter” trophy from birthday celebrating Wayne
Tischbern at the Hare House on Soi Post Office.
Derek Reaper scored 39 Stableford points and Dan “Toto”
Dorothy amassed 43 to win divisions 1 and 2 of the Wayne’s Birthday Hare
House Invitational Golf Tournament at Phoenix Country Club on Friday,
January 10, 1997.
The long hitting Derek Reaper, no stranger to the top of the leader board,
shot a remarkable 40 on the back nine, including a stretch of 5 pars and a
birdie. Derek added another natural par on the front nine to win division 1
by three strokes.
Another long hitter, Paul Kraft, finished second in division 1 with 36
Stableford points. Paul’s story is remarkable in that he hadn’t even
intended to play in the tournament. After a late night before the
competition, Paul told his friends he wasn’t going to play golf on Friday.
But, when he showed up at the hare House for breakfast, birthday boy Wayne
Tischbern talked him into playing, and he shot well enough to finish second.
Toto, meanwhile, who normally considers a good golf shot one after which he
can find his ball, put together the round of his golfing career. Toto, who
was still unable to break 50 on either nine, going out in 50 and back in 51,
put together a 101 gross to finish with 43 Stableford points, first in
division 2. Three seemed to be the number for Toto’s round. He put together
3 pars (and 1 birdie), along with 3 “snowmen” and 3 lost balls. So that’s
how an “ex” 36 handicapper plays.
Lefty Matt Miller also shot well under his handicap, finishing with 38
Stableford points, good enough for second place in division 2.
Cameron Radford earned loss gross honors with a solid scratch 84.
Dave Drew won the long drive competition with his 250 yard drive into the
wind on lakes #9.
Nearest the pin winners were: Vic Cross on the Mountain #8, Dan Hastings on
the Lakes #2, and Gordon McKnight on the Lakes #7. Given no-one actually
landed safely on the green on the Mountain #4, John Gibson was awarded
“closest to the green” honors for actually hitting the ‘closest to the pin’
sign on his way through the green.
All golfers were treated to a great buffet and a free drink, courtesy of
Wayne Tischbern’s birthday, at the awards presentation party at the Hare
House after the tournament.
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PSC Golf
“Texas Scramble” at Pattaya Country Club, January 6,
1997.
The new year continues to attract large entries and a “Texas Scramble”,
because it is a team event, is one of the most popular forms of golf.
Pattaya Country Club always makes PSC welcome and the course is ever
improving as is the food and service. This, plus a superb clear day, made
for everyone’s enjoyment.
The Swedish contingent of Mats, Ove, Bjorn, and Sture with a net 60.1 came
third. Alec, Brendan, Darren and Doug came second with a net 59.8. But the
all American team of Paul, Jim, John Moore and Herbie, with 8 birdies, 1
bogey, and nine pars and a net 57.8 took the honours on the day.
Sven Berthelson won the long drive. Cameron Radford, Mike Leighton, Ove
Anderson and Johan Reynisson the nearest the pins on the par threes. Alec
rounded off the day by thanking Mike May for his prize donating and Pattaya
Country Club for free green fees in the lucky draw.
Improve your Bridge
by Barrie Kenyon
Last week, we noted that the Gerber slam convention
has the drawback of being ambiguous. It is not always clear whether a
bid of Four Clubs asks partner how many Aces he has, or whether it
simply means you have a lot of clubs. At the very least, Gerber requires
a lot of discussion before play actually commences at the table.
More popular is the Black-wood convention. A bid of Four No Trumps
requires partner to say how many Aces he has. The responses are Five
Clubs (no aces or all four), Four Diamonds (one ace), Four Hearts (two
aces) and Four Spades (three aces). A bid of Five No Trumps now requires
partner to repeat the sequence, this time according to the number of
King’s he holds. But even Blackwood can sometimes land you in trouble.
Hearty Arty was playing with Moaning Minnie, never a good combination
even at the best of times. Arty opened One No Trump, 16-18 points, and
Minnie looked at her hand:
Spades Ace, King, Queen
Hearts Queen, Ten, 9
Diamonds King, 7, 6, 3
Clubs Queen, Ten, 9
Minnie made a cautious reply of Two Diamonds, a natural which also had
the advantage of marking time awaiting partner’s next call. Arty’s rebid
was Three Clubs. Minnie now went off the rails. She reasoned to herself
that there might well be a small slam contract in no trumps as both she
and Arty had such strong hands. But better check. So she called
expectantly and proudly, “Four No Trumps”. Arty only had one Ace and
correctly answered Five Diamonds. Disaster had struck! There were two
aces missing and both in the opponent’s hands. A slam was out of the
question, but Minnie was trapped. She was forced to say Five No Trumps
which Arty naturally assumed to be asking for Kings. They finished in
Six No Trumps, doubled, which went one down when one opponent cashed the
two missing aces.
But Minnie could have avoided disaster. If you call Four No Trumps and
are disappointed by the reply, as in the example above, you should call
a suit which has not been bid before. Minnie should have bid either Five
Hearts or Five Spades (it does not matter which) after her partner’s
reply to Blackwood. The bid cannot be natural as no-one in their right
mind would introduce a suit for the first time at the five level. The
bid is thus a sign-off bid, requiring partner to convert to Five No
Trumps and thus save the day. And that is the final call. Contract bid
and made.
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Attention all fishermen
The 1997 Grand Champion Deep Sea Fishing Tournament
will take place on January 25 and 26, 1997, the fishing section of the
Pattaya Sports Club has announced. Organized and sponsored by the PSC,
the tournament will by a fun filled, competitive two day and one night
affair.
Rules for the tournament are as follows: Each team captain will pay an
entrance fee of 600 baht to the Pattaya Sports Club. The entrance fee
must be paid by 12 noon, January 24. Included with the entrance fee must
be a listing of the name of the boat or the boat’s captain, and
fishermen on board. Each team will be responsible for hiring their own
boat. There will be no limit on persons or tackle on board. Boats and
crew may not leave shore before 5:00 a.m., Saturday, January 25.
Weigh-in for trophies will be at the Fishing Lodge, Bang Saray, or the
Marine Bar Pier, Pattaya. Weigh in will be at 5 p.m. Sunday, January 26.
The Pattaya Sports Club will award individual trophies for: 1) First
Place: the biggest fish (by weight), 2) Second Place: the second biggest
fish (by weight), and 3) First Place Plaque for boat captain with the
most fish caught by weight. Only one trophy will be awarded per
individual.
To register for the tournament, please contact Carl Engel, Pattaya
Sports Club Fishing Chairman, tel: 410 228, fax: 426 121. Registration
and entrance fee can be left at the Shamrock Bar, Soi Pattayaland 2, or
Atlantis Cafe, Soi 15.
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Patrick Asklund rolls in first tournament win
Patrick Asklund wins the
Hare House Medal “Knotted Putter” trophy for his first ever tournament
victory.
Patrick Asklund shot a net 75 to win the Hare House
monthly medal round on Wednesday, January 8, 1997, at Sattahip Country
Club. Patrick, who has only been playing golf for about a year, seven
months of which he didn’t play at all, returned to win his first golf
tournament in only his second round back.
Alan Rutsky finished second, after losing out on count back to Asklund.
Rutsky shot a 95 gross off his 20 handicap to finish at 75 net.
Gordon McKnight finished 1 back of the leaders with a net 76, good
enough for third. McKnight’s otherwise good round was spoilt by a
monster 10 on the par five 4th hole. He did offset that a bit when he
holed a 25 yard bunker shot on #15 to save par.
In all, a total of 18 golfers turned out for the event, and frankly
turned in some rather high scores. When asked why, was it windy? No. Was
the course in tough shape? No. Were the greens bad? No. Then why?
Because we played like ...
As was the case on the “deja-vu”, tree lined hole #17, played by two of
the great characters of The Alternative Golf Society. Woody Underwood
began the repetitive occurrence when he hit a tree in the middle of the
fairway with his third shot, causing the ball to careen back at him. His
next shot hit the same tree and actually bounced behind him. Not to be
outdone, Glen “Lassie” Dragland hit the same tree on his third shot,
causing the ball to bounce back at him. He then hit the same tree again
on his next shot causing the ball to careen behind him. Redundant, or
just repeating themselves?
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