Dear Hillary,
My boyfriend and I have had some quarrels over the last few months. Nothing too serious - I thought - but his behavior has changed a lot since. Before we would usually talk on the phone at least twice a day, but now he doesn’t call anymore. It’s me who has to do it. He pretends to be busy with work, too busy to talk to me in a proper way. I have the feeling he’s quite impatient, trying to finish the call as fast as possible. Before we met every day, now he shows up approximately twice a week. He comes, walks straight into my bedroom, lays down and expects me to make love to him. If I only try to talk to him about something else, he just gets angry and many times he’s left in a very bad mood, blaming me that I don’t understand him. Once he even told me that he doesn’t want to talk business, problems or gossip with me. All he wants is to talk sex and fornicate.
I feel so cheap, like a call-girl, except he doesn’t pay me. There’s no way to argue with him for he only gets mad at me. Very mad! On the other hand, he still claims to love me and keeps telling me he’s the only guy in the world who cares for me.
I don’t want to lose him completely, please give me some advice what I can do.
Feeling Cheap.
Dear Cheap,
Your boyfriend seems to have a big problem. Being busy with work doesn’t mean he can’t talk to you anymore. I know several big businessmen who are chairmen of several big companies, besides doing charity work and a lot of other things they ought to do, but they still take the time to be with their families. If the wife, or girlfriend calls, even during a meeting, they take the time to talk to her a few nice words before telling her that they are too busy right now to get into a long conversation. That’s what love and caring is all about.
The fact that your boyfriend doesn’t like to listen to your problems makes him seem very selfish. To listen to another person shows attention. Just to jump into bed with you, to get rid of his own needs, and probably frustration, can make you feel very frustrated. This behavior of his will have the effect of making you afraid to call him and worse, afraid of his visits. Before this situation escalates into something irreparable, try to talk to him. Not during his working hours and not in your bedroom. Try to get him to go to a neutral place with you and ask him not to interrupt while you are talking. Be prepared before you talk to him. Make some notes to keep your talk on the right track, in case he tries to distract you with answers or arguments. Explain to him, if he loves you, he’s got to care for you, which means he has to treat you like an equal partner, the partner he fell in love with once.

Dear Hillary,
Some friends of mine have arranged a ‘blind date’ for me. They believe it’s not good for me to stay alone all the time and work only, even though I’m quite happy with my life as it is.
My friends said the woman they chose is supposed to be exactly ‘my type’ and I have to meet her.
I do not like the idea too much, on the other hand I do not like to offend my friends. Actually I am not used to dating anymore and wouldn’t know how to talk to her. Shall I take the risk and meet her? Or, like I feel, forget the whole idea?
Blind Date.
Dear Blind Date,
There’s an old saying: Just looking won’t cost you anything. Why not do it? If you are too shy or too afraid to mess things up, talk to your friends to come along with you. Being in company with your friends, any talking or having fun can be much easier. Get out of your shell and try it!