Not all bar girls poor and innocent

Editor;

The 2 responses to the letter by Mr. “Losing faith in Thailand” both missed something. He insults all Thai women by suggesting that all Thai women are as money hungry and pathetic as bar girls, because it is impossible for him to find a respectable Thai woman. I wonder where he is meeting these women, and how he goes about establishing a relationship. Might I suggest, judging from the obvious ignorance and negative attitude, that if he were ever to run into a respectable Thai lady, she would have nothing to do with him. I doubt that he knows the difference between a respectable Thai lady and a prostitute any more than the guy who got arrested for grabbing a saleswoman’s breast in Royal Garden Plaza. And why is he complaining? He claims he doesn’t come here to meet women anyway!

As for Martin, the bar owner, he paints a picture of all these poor, helpless girls, with few other choices of making a “livable wage” doing anything other than bar work. Well thanks to guys like him for providing such a valuable income resource so that these girls and their families don’t starve to death! I doubt that Martin just fell off the turnip truck, and I will not speculate on any possible motives for the somewhat skewed and misleading picture he paints of the plight of his bargirl employees. Much of what he says is true, but there is always a problem when generalizing because there are so many variations and exceptions. I’d say it is a fair estimate that more than half of the girls have a child whom they support, who is being taken care of by their parents upcountry. Some send money back home for siblings for school so they can have a better future. Many do send most of their earnings back home, but that definitely isn’t the majority. Most send something, but it is a much smaller percentage of their overall earnings than they would lead people to believe. Anybody who doubts this, including Martin, just ask for proof, such as money transfer receipts or bank deposit receipts.

The fact is that the majority of the girls spend most of their money on themselves, whether it be clothing, makeup, tattoos, entertainment, mobile phones, or gold jewelry - which they can always sell or pawn if they ever run short of cash, or beauty salons for things like having all their eyebrows tweezed out and painted back on.

Of course there are many girls who deserve sympathy and have few options, but they are not all as helpless, option less, and desperate as some people assume. Some like their jobs because of the money and independence they have, and don’t want to do anything else. I know one smart one who saved all her money from 2 years of bar work and bought herself a house in a nice subdivision in Pattaya. There are also those who live off money sent from overseas regularly from one or more of their farang boyfriends (I know one who had 4), so they “don’t have to work in the bar”, and only work in the bar because they’re bored and want to be with their friends.

Many have Thai boyfriends they support, or spend their money on drugs such as yaba, whether to lose weight, stay awake for their double shifts (an option some bar owners generously provide), or to make it easier to stomach going out with an undesirable customer. As for a “livable wage”, some “busy” girls make 30,000 to 50,000 baht per month. I personally know of some who have an average of over 3 short-times a day! (These are every bar owner’s favorite employees.)

Granted, not all can make that much, but the incomes most of them make can buy many avenues to get out of the bars if they wanted to, and still have enough to send to their parents. There are also plenty of girls who send no money back home, but tell everybody they do, especially their customers, because they get better tips for making up stories like that, among others. And nobody talks about the common situations of the parents who don’t really need the money, but simply stop working their farms or other jobs, and just live of the money their daughter sends them; or those who gamble or drink away any money they get.

As for education, almost all the girls have the option to take courses to learn computers or English to improve themselves. Knowledge of English opens up many well paying employment opportunities outside the bar scene, even without much formal education. (By the way, employment is commonly found through word of mouth and posted notices, not only newspapers.) But they don’t take classes because they are typically lazy, tend to live day-to-day, or just aren’t interested. They would rather spend their free time going to discos, the beach, drinking, wasting money, or just hanging out with their friends. Just ask the language schools - if a girl takes classes, it’s usually a farang boyfriend who is paying and pushing her to go. If they break up, the girl stops going, even if she has a bunch of classes already paid for in advance (and no school ever gives refunds).

And if bar owners like Martin really care about the girls’ futures, why don’t they try providing a daily 1 hour free English lesson for all girls beginning an hour before work every day? There could be some incentive provided, or it could just be part of their job. They could have their salary cut if they don’t show up or do their homework, just like they have it cut for being late, not dancing, or not showing up for work.

J. Prell