Family Money: Brits & the Tax Man (Part 1)

By Leslie Wright

A considerable number of British expatriates live in the Pattaya area, and judging by the queries I receive - as well as letters to the editor of this newspaper - there is much confusion about their tax status in UK. So, since today is the start of a new tax year in UK, let’s try to clarify at least some of the issues once and for all.

One of the main points of contention is how long a British expatriate may stay in the UK without incurring tax. Some of the confusion, I admit, has arisen from the regrettable omission of the critical words “not [more than]” from one of my own articles (Pattaya Mail, Nov 10th 2000), which subsequently led to some debate in the Mailbag section of this newspaper.

The way the UK Inland Revenue Department’s own literature is written is less than crystal clear on this topic - and glosses over one important point: the establishment of non-resident status.

When a British taxpayer leaves the UK to take up residence elsewhere, he should file a P85 form with the IRD. This informs the IRD of his intention to leave the UK as of a certain date, and remain abroad thereafter. He must then remain overseas for a full tax year (April 6th-April 5th) to establish his non-residency for tax purposes.

Leaving the UK on 1st April and staying out of the country continuously for 13 months is fine; leaving on 1st May and returning 11 months later for a holiday is not.

Temporary visits

After establishing that critical period of 12 months’ non-residency for tax purposes, you are permitted to return for a visit of not more than 183 days in the subsequent tax year (April 6th - April 5th).

However, if you did that the following year also, you could very well lose your non-resident tax status. This is because the IRD permits an average stay in UK of not more than 90 days per annum aggregated over a four year period.

It is therefore always better to remember the 90-day rule rather than the 183-day rule, just to be on the safe side. (What if you had to be unexpectedly hospitalised in UK, for instance?)

Since the onus is on you to prove how short a period you stayed, not on the IRD to prove how long you stayed, the question often arises of how you can prove when you return and leave again, since UK Immigration Officers don’t normally stamp UK passports upon entry or exit.

A little common sense applies here. First, you could retain the last page of your airline tickets to show which flights you used (assuming you didn’t change your booking - in which case you have to ask your ticketing agent to put a sticker on the back page as well as the front one).

Secondly, you could politely ask the immigration officer upon arrival and/or departure to stamp your passport, explaining (if you think it necessary) that this is to prove your date of arrival/departure for tax purposes. The officer may look at you a little peculiarly, and be slightly exasperated at the extra bother you’re putting him to, but he will do it if asked to. (And by the way, the IRD does not count the day of your arrival nor day of departure in calculating your period of temporary residence in UK.)

Tax liabilities

The next question is regarding tax liabilities and exemptions in UK. Even though you have established non-residency for tax purposes, you are still liable for tax on all earnings in UK.

The State pension is taxable, as are UK company pensions unless you are residing in one of the 100 countries which have a double-taxation treaty (DTT) with the UK - Thailand is one of these - when the tax liability, at least in theory, may arise locally, depending on the country’s agreement with the UK on this aspect.

In practice, however, as no-one living here off an overseas pension files a tax return in Thailand declaring this income, let alone pays tax here on remittances from that pension, the tax liability in effect remains in UK.

This is, however, offset by your UK tax allowances, which being higher than those currently prevailing in Thailand, means you are better off swallowing the UK tax bite than filing a tax return twice and paying tax here on your UK pension.

Income from rented properties in UK is also taxable. This is so whether or not tax is deducted by your letting agent, or tenants if there is no letting agent.

It is possible nowadays to receive gross income without tax being withheld, when the liability to report and pay tax on that income devolves upon the landlord.

If you and your UK-domiciled wife jointly own the rental properties, you can both claim your personal allowances against the income.

However, if your wife is not UK-domiciled (she’s Thai for instance), she cannot claim the UK joint-spouse tax allowance - only whatever tax allowance she is permitted in her country of domicile and/or country of residence against her own income in that country (again, depending on DTTs.)

For so long as you are non-resident in UK for tax purposes, interest from offshore bank accounts and investments is exempt from UK tax.

However, if you are receiving interest on an offshore bank account or dividends on investments whilst resident in UK, you are liable to tax on these. (And failure to report such income is an offence.)

Similarly, any interest accruing from onshore bank accounts is counted as UK income, and, added to all other income deriving in UK, is taxable accordingly, whether you are resident or non-resident for tax purposes.

Again, if you are non-resident, you can arrange with your onshore bank for interest to be paid gross. But it must be declared in your annual tax return.

Again, you are permitted to deduct your tax allowances against this aggregated income before calculating what, if any, liability you will have to the tax man.

(So it would make sense to close your onshore bank deposit accounts before moving overseas, perhaps keeping only a small current account for paying UK bills. And similarly, close your offshore bank accounts before returning permanently onshore.)

If you take an income from offshore investments while you are in UK, these remittances must also be declared and become liable to tax. (Best, then, to do so in a low-income year, to optimise your allowances.)

Expanding on this point, once an offshore institution becomes aware that you are UK resident - having a UK correspondence address, for instance, even if this is only an accommodation address - they are legally obliged to inform the IRD if you withdraw any income from an offshore investment, as this draw down creates a chargeable event (as it’s technically called).

The institution also sends you a copy of the form they submit to the IRD, to which you have to refer in your tax return. (And, it is worth noting, you are liable to a fine of ฃ100 if you fail to file a return on time - which incidentally has to be done no later than 1st February, not 5th April, as some people seem to think.)

Tax-efficient investments

Certain types of offshore investment are more tax-efficient than others, and your financial planning adviser should have taken this into consideration when recommending which vehicle would be most suitable for your circumstances.

Obviously, the possibility of your drawing down an income in UK should have been discussed with him, and included in his criteria for consideration.

For instance, offshore unit trusts receive no tax breaks in UK: you are liable for tax on the full capital gain. Thus it is prudent tax planning to encash these investments before returning onshore.

On the other hand, unit-linked vehicles from offshore insurance companies (which are maligned by some writers in the financial press) can be highly tax-efficient vehicles for returning British expats.

The best of these is the so-called “potentially-qualifying” policy, which basically is a regular savings plan that must run for at least 10 years and have a minimal life insurance wrapper around it.

Within one year of returning onshore, the offshore policy is substituted for an onshore one with an identical “qualifying” structure. This continues to maturity, and the capital and growth thereon may then be drawn down entirely tax free in UK.

This is quite distinct from the offshore “pension” plans, which are simply flexible savings plans with no insurance wrapper. They cannot be substituted onshore; and any onshore draw downs from them are taxable at income tax rates (less your remaining allowances, if any).

Nonetheless, these plans are still more tax-efficient for returning expats than non-unit-linked offshore unit trusts, which will attract capital gains as well as income tax.

The offshore insurance bond (‘OIB’) is another potentially tax-efficient vehicle, designed to accommodate lump sums of capital.

A single premium is paid into what is technically an insurance policy, but for which you pay no premium for the minimal life coverage (typically 101% of the plan’s value).

However, this is given preferential treatment by the IRD over offshore unit trusts.

With an OIB you are permitted to draw down 5% per annum of the original capital, with tax deferred for 20 years. (So you would be paying tax at 2021 rates rather than 2001, and threshold allowances would have probably increased significantly over that period, as they have in the past.)

If you had already held the bond for several years offshore and achieved a significant capital gain, you are also allowed to put it through a “bed & breakfast” exercise immediately before your return onshore. This effectively consolidates the offshore gains tax free into a new onshore bond, and the tax clock starts all over again. In effect, 5% p.a. draw downs may be taken from the ‘new’ higher amount of capital and the tax deferred for the full 20 years.

‘Top-slicing’ is another method of mitigating tax liabilities on draw downs from offshore insurance bonds. (But that’s a rather complex story to explain, so I’ll save it for next week.)

Leslie Wright is managing director of Westminster Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or e-mail [email protected] Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website on www.westminsterthailand.com

Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a contact phone/fax number.

By Dr. Iain Corness

Dr. Somchai Shoke-satian is a highly regarded ophthalmologist (eye surgeon) consulting at the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital. He is truly a remarkable man: reserved, happy, creative and philosophical. The intricate, highly delicate eye surgery he performs is a skill that requires intense concentration, so perhaps it may come as a surprise that his chosen pastimes away from the clinical surroundings do also.

Born in Nakorn Sawan, Dr Somchai was an only son and led a simple childhood. Why did he choose medicine? “Medicine was not my idea.” He smiled and explained, “In Thailand parents often make decisions for their children. My father said that medicine is a good choice for students who study hard.”

And studying hard is a habit that Dr Somchai made a part of his life and has persisted with ever since. So much so, in fact, that his advice to medical students is, “You have to learn all the time. As a student you study very hard for six years. Some students may be tired of studying when they have finished university. But it is important to realize that medicine is only a little part of our life, there is so much to learn. I study for the whole of my life.”

Dr Somchai graduated from Chiang Mai University and worked as a G.P. in a government hospital in Tak Province for three years. He decided to study ophthalmology for a further three years because, “When I was a student I heard many beautiful stories about patients whom doctors had helped to see. It impressed me. I want to be able to share happiness. I am not just helping someone to see, it makes me happy too, not only the patients, when operations are successful.” Having met some of his patients who have been given a new lease of life with replacement intra-ocular lenses, they simply radiate happiness. A little enquiring from people in the hospital also revealed that this was a man who has done many charity operations, just because the patient needed it. One is tempted to say that Dr. Somchai has a beautiful vision of life that he shares with everyone.

In his personal life, Dr Somchai is married with an eleven-year-old son he named Sak Wan Nueng, as he said simply, “I named him myself. It is not a usual Thai name, it means someone full of hope and the promise of respect one day in the future.” One wonders if this is not a mirror of Dr. Somchai himself.

He considered awhile when asked about his important personal values. “That is a difficult question because it changes. Honesty and being creative and sharing happiness with my family and my patients are all very important. Success is simple. To me it means when each of my operations is a success. I try to take one case at a time and do the best I am capable of for each one.” You only have to spend five minutes with this quietly spoken man to realize that this really is how he approaches life.

In his spare time, Dr Somchai paints and studies, although he calls it reading. He reads continually on a widely differing range of subjects, from economy, marketing, philosophy, to Buddhism and art. “I read a lot but I learn a little, the more I learn the less I understand,” he said and laughed. “I love art too, being creative is important to me. I paint impressionist landscapes, not abstract, something that captures a moment in time.”

It is when you ask Dr Somchai about his plans for the future though that you have a glimpse of his true nature, his genuine humility, humanity and sheer brilliance. He appeared taken aback by the question, then smiled and said, “Let me tell you something. Life is a journey, life is a 100-step stairway and often I want to know where I am on it. Maybe step 10 or maybe step 2. It is very difficult to plan for the future. I take each day at a time. I try to learn and improve myself, I attempt to do my best every single day.”

Dr. Somchai Shoke-satian is truly a remarkably likeable, gifted and brilliant person whom it was a privilege to meet on his particular stairway through life. I am sure that in his case it is a stairway to the stars.

by Mirin MacCarthy

by John D. Blyth

We must have tracks! It may be that, some time in the future, if the ‘Maglev’ (magnetic levitation) system is a success our children may see trains that are suspended above a magnetic system where train and rail do not touch. But for now, it is the steel wheel on the steel rail. In early times steel was not available, and malleable iron rails, about 15 ft. in length were used, resting on stone blocks. This is the origin of the term ‘Iron Road’ used in my title for this series of articles. Another term once much in use was the ‘Permanent Way’; the laying of the final set of rails, and the preliminary earthworks, etc., was preceded by the laying of a temporary line for shifting all kinds of objects in the process of preparing the road bed. This was the temporary way, and that finally laid was the ‘permanent’ one; the light railway is seldom now seen and the term once used has fallen into disuse.

Early rails in Britain were almost always of the so-called ‘bull-head’ profile with the head duplicated, or nearly so, on the lower side, the idea being that each could be used when the other became too worn; the rails sat in ‘chairs’, bolted to wooden crosspieces called ‘sleepers’. British practice was to use softwood for the sleepers as it was easily obtained; it had to be treated with creosote or a similar preservative, but abroad hardwood was more commonly used, with a longer life and no preservative required. These differences led to the French invention of the ‘flat-bottomed’ rail by Vignoles, and it is this that is almost universally used today. At first the Vignoles-type rails were simply spiked down on to the sleepers, but this became insufficient as train weights and speeds increased, and later the rail sat on a base plate of suitable shape which could be more firmly held down. The British ‘bull-head’ rail sat in a ‘chair’ - very descriptive as it had an ‘arm’ either side, with the rail between them, and was held in position by a block of wood or a spring steel clamp driven in between the arm and the rail.

Concrete sleepers, so common on main lines now, were in use in France 80 years ago, but did not appear in Britain until WW2, when they were tried as an alternative to wood; until it was realised that they would have to be prestressed or they would be quickly destroyed by the forces of train movement. They were a failure, but now it looks as if they are the sleeper of the future. Development of means to use them in complex layouts were very long and heavy concrete sleepers would be essential, is still under development. The concrete sleeper can be cast to any required form, to provide for the fixing of the rail at the right gauge, and holding it so that the tendency for it to creep in the direction of train movement, or under thermal expansion. One remarkable feature, when the fact of metal expansion under heat is considered, is that rails can be welded together into units of considerable length, it now being realised that if held in position very firmly, the ‘expansion’ can be contained as an internal stress within the rail.

Many means of fixing the rail to the concrete sleeper have been devised, and more come along each year; each one needs ‘special’ sleepers to enable it to be fixed, and the variations seen some years ago have come down to a few; in British the simple Pandrol clip, an ingeniously formed steel rod which can be quickly fixed or removed from the holes in the sleeper casting which it is made to fit, yet when in position it holds the rail with great strength.

Steel sleepers have also been used extensively in some countries for over 100 years, usually in the form of an inverted rectangular ‘U’ shape with the ends turned down. As with concrete, the fixing points for the rails can be cast into the metal at manufacturing stage.

My diagram this week shows a typical cross-section of a track assembly; at the bottom is the subgrade, the original soil or other natural material on which the line is to be laid; if not suitable it may be supplemented by something more acceptable in the form of a prepared subgrade. Above this is a sand filler, now often supplemented by an impervious plastic sheet (a geotextile), which prevents water from seeping up from the subgrade and making the drainage, part of the essential function of the ballast, becoming less effective. The ballast also holds the rail in position, laterally and against the tendency for an accelerating train to push the track to the rear, whilst one decelerating, with the brakes operating on all wheels, will try to push the track assembly forward. The sleepers are buried in the ballast to their full height, and higher than this at the ends where the area is of course far smaller.

All is flexible, but only slightly so, the maximum deflection being an optimum of 1 to 2 mm. The rail, the fastening, the sleeper and ballast have to spread the 100-tonne weight of a heavy locomotive throughout the system. The theoretical point contact between circle and straight line is not achieved as both rail and wheel surfaces give slightly, the area in contact is not much more than the size of a Thai 5 baht coin: twelve of these pass all the weight through, eventually to the ballast.

Carbon-manganese steels are in general use for the rails; too much carbon makes the steel brittle, too much manganese makes it hard to weld. Cooling the steel at the right rate is essential for the best results. The recent disaster at Hatfield on which I have written recently and caused by ‘gauge-corner cutting’, has re-opened the whole question of rail steels, as it has been realised that this is a worldwide problem on virtually all types of railway from the ultra high-speed ones, through heavily-occupied suburban lines to the heavy-haul iron-ore lines at Mount Newman and Hamersley in North East Australia, and that the trouble is on a pronounced increase. All are anxiously seeking a cause and a solution but there is, so far, no good news on this.

Japanese women, still bound by tradition

Japan is a nation of enduring traditions, and Japanese wives are one reason why this post-war Super Power runs so smoothly and successfully despite profound political, economic and social change. Foreigners constantly stumble over many mysterious customs in the Land of the Rising Sun, and I was no exception. Getting a peek at what makes Japanese women tick requires patience and perseverance. The keys to this riddle are the customs which figure into a fundamental role which binds them to their traditional duties as wives and mothers. In the West, women have declared they “want it all”, meaning they see no reason why they should not have marriage, children, and a successful career, without sacrificing one ideal for the others. In Japan, having it “all” means something different.

Some Japanese women still help their husbands to dress in the morning, and routinely serve them the choicest morsels from the family rice pot. When traveling in Japan, I often see women weighted down with suitcases, shopping bags and various parcels, who scramble onto the bullet train to claim the last free seat. Moments later, a husband will stroll aboard, cool and collected and slip into the seat his wife has saved for him. While he reads the newspaper, she stands in the aisle all the way to their destination. Like the self-sacrificing wives on the train, Japanese women are expected to do what they do with patience, respect, and above all, without complaining. Today, as in the past, marriage is the only truly acceptable state of being for any Japanese woman.

Western concepts of romance play little or no part in Japanese marriage. Formal meetings between virtual strangers precede arranged marriages which, in Japan, are still common. Large companies often have marriage bureaus to facilitate introductions between single employees. Often matchmakers, professional, or well meaning friends, provide introductions or suggest suitable mates. Parents hire detectives to check out each other’s families. They look for assurances of mental and physical well-being, and for signs of shady past doings or dishonest relatives. An appropriate match of family standing and education comes first, love second. If love develops and grows, that is a bonus.

But the lifestyle of a typical Japanese family hardly encourages love, or even companionship. Men are out on the job from early morning till late at night, and most fathers in a neighborhood are so tired from their long commutes and weekly schedules that they sleep all day on Sunday, which is normally their only day off. Japanese wives live quite separate lives from their husbands. Many husbands work in different cities, regions and even foreign countries for months at a time. Wives are accustomed to this arrangement and are self-sufficient during this necessary separation.

Of course Japanese housewives do more than cook, clean, sweep, and tend their children. It is true, these women are devoted companions to their babies and young children. Household help in Japan is even more rare than it is in Western countries. A mother will walk her children to school, hang her laundry out on her balcony with their baby strapped to their back, and even lie down with the youngsters for naps. Not until Japanese children start school do they move out of their parent’s bedrooms.

But these ladies are quick to point out that they also manage the family finances, make housing and schooling decisions, and handle almost all major household purchases. Japanese women speak of their husbands, and all men for that matter, with traces of condescension. Their grip on the family purse strings often includes doling out a strictly controlled allowance to their salaried husbands for walk around money.

Of course women have always worked in Japan, many of them at hard manual labor. Housewives also take part time jobs, and university graduates are breaking out into the fast-track lanes of corporate management and private business, or politics. But the force behind the women’s movement in the West, that search for self-expression and independence, doesn’t much appeal to Japanese women. In their country, every man, woman and child is expected to consider the well-being of the group before his or her personal interests. This custom may well be the most important and pervasive one in Japanese life. And the women, the unrecognized segment of the workforce, enable the men to perform their economic miracles. It is often said that these women are the nation’s secret weapons. The Japanese wife may indeed be a true treasure.

by Richard Bunch

From Ian Oirbans, Belgium: Since a half year my computer won’t recognise my scanner anymore. It has hardly been used and I have even exchanged it for a new scanner but it still won’t recognise the scanner. It says that I have not plugged in my scanner and if I go in the computer it says: “unknown appliance”. Someone even has emptied my computer and reinstalled all programmes new and still it won’t recognise the scanner anymore.

My computer is a Compaq Presario 5060 (3 years of age) and the scanner is a AGFA Snapscan touch with an USB connection. I have 2 USB inputs on my computer but both won’t recognise the scanner. If I connect another appliance like a webcam it works. Now I must tell you that since 1/2 year I have an ADSL Internet connection on my computer by means of an Internal modem. Could the installation of the internal modem have caused the problems?

I have been thinking of buying a new scanner with a parallel connection but they did not advise this to me as they said these connections will not be used much longer in the future. Hoping you can help me solve this problem.

Computer Doctor replies: Firstly I would concur that to purchase a scanner with a parallel connection is not the way forward. USB connections are becoming the recognised standard for connecting a plethora of devices to computers, as they are quick and normally easy to configure. Unfortunately, you have not said what your operating system is so I cannot be specific in my recommendation. There are, however, a number of things that you can try which are of a general nature. Firstly, remove all instances of the device from your system, ensure the device is not connected, then restart, at this point enter the BIOS and check that Legacy USB devices is enabled, if it isn’t then enable it. While on the subject of the BIOS it would be prudent to obtain and install the latest BIOS revision from the motherboard manufacturer, bear in mind that as a normal course of events, the new BIOS will overwrite any customized settings and these will need to be set again, if you are not confident to do this from scratch, make a note of the existing BIOS settings before upgrading. Next, once the system has restarted, check that without the scanner connected there are no Unknown Devices within device manager, assuming this is OK, then proceed to connect the scanner. Does the system immediately recognize it and if so prompt for a driver? If it does then install the driver from the hardware manufacturer (I recommend before doing this that you obtain the latest driver for the model and operating system by downloading from Agfa website). If this installs correctly then when looking at the Devices in Device Manager no Unknown Devices or other problems should be identified. If it still isn’t recognized correctly, then it is likely there is a conflict and you will need to strip the system back to a minimal installation and repeat the installation procedure. If it works at this point then you can add devices back on a one by one basis, checking the state of Device Manager after each addition and only proceeding if clear to do so. If a problem is identified then you can manually assign resources so that the two devices can coexist. By proceeding in this manner it should be possible to get all the devices to work or if this isn’t possible at least identify the device/s that are causing the problem. If it still doesn’t work then you may care to consider upgrading and/or changing your operating system. If you do this then perform a clean install with minimal devices connected, adding devices on a one by one basis.

Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at 370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or fax to 038 427 596 or e-mail to [email protected] The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.

Richard Bunch is managing director of Action Computer Technologies Co., Ltd. providing professional services which include custom database and application development, website design, promotion and hosting, computer and peripheral sales service and repairs, pro audio solutions, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. For further information, please e-mail [email protected] or telephone/fax 038 716 816 or see our website www.act.co.th

by Lesley Warner 

I’ve been quite surprised by the number of people living here in Fun Town who have lamented the recent demise of Australia Television. Interestingly, the majority of complainants are non-Australians. According to Channel Seven, who took over Australia Television after the national broadcaster, ABC pulled the pin, the cost of maintaining a presence in Asia was prohibitive and so they also decided to can the service.

Considering the fare that Channel Seven served up, chiefly television programs made in the 1980s, I was surprised that anyone could actually be bothered to tune in. Just goes to show what a cultural wasteland most of the rest of the available television channels are for expats.

Even the nightly news program, emanating from Sydney, was, as you would expect, parochial and therefore hardly essential viewing.

So, no more the hang-dog features of actor John Wood, the star of such riveting series as ‘Blue Heelers’ and ‘Rafferty’s Rules’ (produced in Manly, my old stomping ground). “Now Tourism Authority will bring you documentary on collective tractor farming in Tajikistan”.

Enema of the people: The Pattaya Park entertainment setup at Jomtien has been around for years and is one of the most popular places with locals as well as tourists. One of the plusses is that there is no dual-tiered pricing policy. Both foreigners and locals pay the same entry fee: a pretty reasonable 100 baht a head for an adult.

For me, the best features in the place are the water-slides, particularly the two long straight drops. I can really recommend a good slide or three for those who may be suffering a little blocking in the rectal region, if I may put it ever so delicately. Forget the doctor or the clinic, when you come down the slide and hit the briny - posterior akimbo - I can almost guarantee there will be a bit of natural movement not far away. But then I’ve always been into cheap thrills!

From an Octopus to a Freeway: Continuing in a somewhat nautical vein, the Freeway boozer and lounge lizard libation hangout (on the left hand side of the road leading up to the big Buddha) is getting mixed reviews from punters around town. However, they are at least offering something different by way of a couple of underwater swimming shows performed by some of the working maidens, sans scuba equipment and wetsuits.

None of the young ladies are in the same class as the Olympic Games’ synchronized swimming teams, tending to be more gold medal prospects in such indoor activities as horizontal folk dancing.

Freeway is a luxuriously appointed and expansive place as one might expect from an establishment that began life as a boy boozer by the name of Octopus. I’m glad the new management resisted the undoubted urge to rename the place Octopussy (after the James Bond movie of course).

Freeway opens at 3 p.m. and for the first four hours they offer booze at knockdown prices. Draught beer and Mekong Coke is 40 baht while gin and vodka, with mixer, will set you back just 60 baht.

They have rest and recreation rooms for those who might be in need of a nap after watching the ladies go through their underwater exertions. On Saturday night there is a free barbeque from 7 p.m.

Never rains but it pours: Work commenced a few weeks ago on the demolition of the Green House, a massive building located near the corner of Second Road and Pattaya Klang that’s been nothing but an empty shell for as long as anyone can remember. Now before anyone says there are people living here who’d be lucky to have a memory that stretched further than the last three draught beers, there are those of a more sober disposition who claim the Green House hasn’t seen human habitation for the best part of 10 years or more.

If that wasn’t enough, the old Chinese restaurant on Beach Road, just around the corner from Pattaya Klang, has also come under the renovator’s hammer. This is another place that hasn’t seen much business activity for the better part of a decade.

At this juncture I have no idea what the plans are for either construction site, although the old Green House is looking suspiciously like a giant karaoke bar.

Pattaya original: Bert, a fisherman and regular amber fluid guzzler at the Viking beer boozer (front of Pinewood Condo, Second Road, up from Soi 6), was pondering the dilemma facing farmers back in England and Europe following the outbreak of foot and mouth disease. He’s heard they’re now learning to speak Thai, with the first phrase being...wait for it... “mai cow die”.

My e-mail address is: [email protected]

by Marion

What do witch doctors drink?

The name kava-kava immediately conjures up strange Polynesian ritual welcoming ceremonies, where bemused visitors are expected to drink from communal bowls of muddy water. The squeamish who eye this concoction with the suspicion that it looks and tastes suspiciously like mouth numbing mud, are told that to refuse this welcome gesture is a social insult.

Traditionally, island women chewed up the leaves and stalks of the kava-kava plant and spat the pulpy mass into the communal bowl. It was then mixed with water and served at weddings, births and all sorts of rites of passage. Although today, reassuringly, the concoction is ground rather than chewed, it is reputedly not as potent as the customary version because saliva enhances the plant’s active ingredients.

Pope John Paul 11, Queen Elizabeth and Hillary Clinton have all been lucky participants in this culturally esteemed event.

What’s in a name?

Kava-Kava is a plant popularized because of it mood altering effects. It is purported to be euphoric, increasing relaxation, friendliness and sociability, even to being a mild aphrodisiac. Kava-Kava is a shrub that thrives and is cultivated in the islands of the South Pacific, Hawaii, Fiji and New Guinea.

The name Kava-Kava means ‘intoxicating pepper’ and was so christened by Captain Cook who was one of the first explorers to describe its use. It comes from the dried root of Piper methysticum, a member of the black pepper family.

Although kava-kava is a depressant it is not fermented, does not contain alcohol and is neither a hallucinogen nor opiate. It is reputed to have a mild sedative effect and although not addictive some people may become psychologically dependent on it.

Folk medicine health benefits

The primary folk medicinal use of kava-kava is as a mild sedative for anxiety disorders. It is reported to induce restful sleep and treat fatigue. It is also used as a genito-urinary antiseptic, increasing urine output and relieving cystitis. It is even used as a douche and topically for treating fungal infections and soothing stings.

It is said to be useful in inflammation of the joints and is sometimes used in the treatment of gout, rheumatism and arthritis. Although no scientific studies support the claim, it has been used to reduce the occurrence of sexually transmitted diseases such as gonorrhea and vaginitis.

Hawaii’s kahunas also used kava-kava to restore strength, to treat colds, asthma and stomach upsets.

How does it work?

Kava-Kava works directly on the nerves, first stimulating them and then increasing their pain threshold. The medically active constituents are a group of fat-soluble compounds known as kavalactones. The type of the plant species and the age of the root make a big difference in potency.

Kava-kava (widely available in health food stores) is currently popular in America and Europe for the treatment of anxiety, including anxiety related to menopause. Kava-Kava is a herb and not a drug. It is, however, recommended that a standardized form of kava-kava be used. Make sure to buy a product that contains either 30% or 70% of kavalactones. The bottle should say how many milligrams of Kavalactone there are per tablet. For the treatment of anxiety the usual dose should be 20 mg to 70 mgs of kavalactones three times a day. Total daily intake should not exceed 300 mg of kavalactones.

Precautions

Do not use kava-kava if pregnant, breast feeding or taking barbiturates or any nervous system depressants.

Avoid using kava-kava with any drug that causes mood changes including alcohol. Be aware that long term use of kava-kava can cause significant side effects. “Kava should not be regarded as a permanent solution to anxiety. Once you feel more calm, find other ways to quiet your mind and heart, such as yoga, psychotherapy, tai chi, regular aerobic exercise, or meditation,” says pharmacist Constance Grauds in her book “Kava and Anxiety”. This book thoroughly and accurately covers all aspects of kava kava and is well recommended to anyone wishing to make an informed decision on using this herb. The book is available at Kinokuniya Bookstore, Emporium, Bangkok. ISBN-0-7615-1613-1. Prima Publishing may be visited online at www.thenaturalpharmacist.com

by Anchalee Kaewmanee

Aries is fast, ambitious and mobile. Gemini is faster. Highly strung, excitable, and, above all, the subject born in the sign of the Twins is communicative! Combine the two and you get a person who is fast talking, swift acting, endowed with boundless energy and enthusiasm. Definitely a unique profile. Independent to the extreme, the Aries/Geminis always know their own minds, and are never without a ready answer to a question or a solution to a problem. And because they are constantly moving about, gesticulating (and very often talking up a storm), people always know when they are around. It is very hard to miss these people, even in a very large crowd.

These subjects articulate each passing thought, idea, and emotion with vigour and emphasis. They are always right. No one can defy the authoritative Aries-Gemini. Somehow they possess an incisive - and sometimes cruel - wit. Their need to communicate every little thing can be a bit exhausting to others who are not quite so mentally agile. Friends and associates can misunderstand the inherent nature of this personality, and will sometimes react to this particular combination of Sun and Moon sign as a bit pushy and tiresome. It might be a good idea for the Aries-Gemini to abandon the spotlight on the stage occasionally and give someone else a chance to have their say. A lesson in humility will do this person a world of good. Becoming slightly less opinionated and more thoughtfully reflective could win over those whom they have unintentionally miffed.

Taking in everything in their environment with lightening speed, the Aries-Gemini is forever alert. Nothing ever slips past these people. For that reason, they are quick to spot a phony and just as quick to let him know it. Tact, unfortunately, is not one of their virtues, and this may be one reason they sometimes alienate those around them. It would be politic to keep some of those pithy observations to themselves. This not a natural inclination with these signs, but with a little discipline, they can learn to bite their tongues and let some things pass.

Despite a lack of natural diplomacy, these individuals are usually very popular. Because they exude an amazing confidence, and accumulate such a bounty of experience and expertise in so many different areas, others simply cannot help but respect and admire them. This Sun/Moon sign is never one to sulk in a corner, unless the need to communicate has somehow been thwarted by an inattentive or unappreciative audience. When this happens, they could be subject to a sudden but fleeting temper tantrum. If so, those who have witnessed it will be unwilling to instigate another. It is fair to say they can be hot headed.

Highly strung, it is vital that this combination has plenty of positive outlets to dissipate all that nervous energy and vitality. They must stay active and mobile. Their versatility and industrious nature will always find work, the best form of therapy and release. Blessed with so much ingenuity and originality, the Aries-Gemini can be useful in many fields of endeavour. Although this group show themselves to be jacks-of-all-trades, there are a few things at which they will truly excel. Journalism (investigative reporting in particular), mechanical engineering, science and law are just a few professions which they will find suitable and rewarding. Once they have found their niche, they quickly climb the ladder of success.

Partners in love and friendship must be chosen wisely by the Aries-Gemini. This person needs a mate or business partner who is tolerant and receptive to that constant flow of ideas which pour forth like falling rain. All Aries Sun signs have restless natures and need to learn to value the needs of others as much as they value their own. Although generous and affectionate, they may be unaware that they are smothering the one they love with an overbearing and overprotective attitude. The Gemini Moon can help de-emphasise this inclination. The Gemini attention span is too short to bother with overprotection. “Hands-off” management is more the Gemini style. Both signs are super sensitive and have the emotional feelings of a child. Combined, this subject can be loving and devoted.

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