When blood pressure rises, neck veins swell - and the rational mind is
suspended. Aggression ‘beams’ us back to an early stage of our development ...
but once the adrenaline rush is gone, we often feel repentance over the damage
we’ve done in our rush of emotions (be verbally or physically).
There are basically two categories of aggression:
Affective Aggression (revenge, hostility, the tendency toward impulsive and
uncontrolled behavior) and Instrumental Aggression (hunting,
goal-oriented, deliberate behavior,). Empirical studies show that most people
who have a tendency to Affective Aggression also have a lower IQ than those who
do not.
Aggression is not synonymous for violence - but it can
trigger violence. And there are cultural differences in the ways aggression is
expressed. Studies have shown that people from the southern states of America
turn to physical violence more often than those in the northern states, and the
Japanese, which prefer verbal conflict resolution. The same applies to people
living in northern and southern countries of Europe. The murder rate is higher
in these regions as well, and there is also a link between the tendency to
violence and socialization. People who grow up in families with a high potential
for aggression (verbal, mental or physical abuse experiences), adjust their
behavior accordingly and have a tendency to outbursts of aggression later in
their lives as well.
The same applies for the social acceptance of violence, such
as violence against specific ethnic groups: a dynamic that is probably
responsible for the never-ending spiral of violence in the Middle East. Many
people also react aggressively when they feel they are not understood or taken
seriously, or when they can’t achieve their goals and hopes. From a
psychological perspective, this is mostly rooted in low self-esteem.
Many relationships are burdened by inappropriate expressions
of aggression. Studies show that men are more likely to express aggression
physically and directly, while women do it more verbally and indirectly.
Relationship crises often lead to escalating patterns - starting with a verbal
exchange of blows, and at some point one partner loses control of him/her and
injures the other one either physically or psychologically. The more regularly
such processes occur, the more difficult it may be to resolve the conflict
patterns in couples therapy, which again proves that the earlier professional
help is sought, the more promising the results!
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Live the happy life you planned! Richard L.
Fellner is head of the Pattaya Counseling Center in Soi Khopai and
offers consultations in English and German languages (after making
appointments at 0854 370 470). |
