Dear Hillary,
Valentine’s over and done with for another 12 months, so parents don’t need to worry about little Johnny till next year. The government doesn’t need to have policemen patrolling the streets to make sure all the under-age kids are tucked up in their (own) beds by 10 p.m. How stupid is all that?
Val

Dear Val,
I have seen that governments of any color have the natural ability to make idiotic decisions. St. Valentine’s Day, to give it its correct title, is a wonderful fun event for young people (and the not so young). In many countries, the St. Valentine’s Day card or flowers or chocolates have to be sent anonymously, leaving the recipient guessing as to who the secret admirer really is. That would relieve the government’s fears of wholesale lechery on February 14. I agree with you, Petal. Total nonsense. And that reminds me - not one of you sent me a card, chocolates or French champagne this year. I’m devastated!

Dear Hillary,
I found the ideal girl. I learned to speak Thai, as you suggested. I met the parents. I met the grandparents. I met the girlfriends. I gave her 5,000 baht a month for her to spend on anything she wanted. Everything looked good until I suggested it was time to get hitched and then it all came out. She was married already to an American and was waiting for a visa to go there. Not a breath about anything before. No wonder this place gets a bad rep.
Jilted

Dear Jilted,
You thought you were doing everything by the book, didn’t you Petal. But you forgot to meet the family buffalo, which is higher up the social ladder than someone who is just another ATM, and not a very well filled ATM either. At the wonderful sum of B. 5,000 a month, you won’t even get a maid for that. You were played as a sucker (which you were). You are much better off without her, well at least B. 5,000 better off each month without her! Your ability in speaking Thai will always help you understand what is going on, but you will have to be wary in the future. Don’t rush in where buffalos fear to tread!

Dear Hillary,
My wife (Thai) and me are looking at buying a little house in the country, for us to use when we go to visit her parents. Their house is wooden and very primitive, and I just can’t live there. My wife has been told she can’t own a house in her own name because she is married to a farang, and her last name is now also farang. I’m not allowed to buy it in my name, so what do we do? All sounds damn stupid to me.
Chris

Dear Chris,
The situation you describe with your wife’s ability to own house/land was once the case, but that was changed many years ago. She can own real estate in her own name. You are a different pail of potatoes, Petal. You can buy the house (under certain circumstances, investment companies, leases, etc.), but you cannot own the land it stands on. This is quite understandable, as otherwise China will have bought up all the land in Thailand, just like they are trying to do in New Zealand. Talk to a reliable real estate agent and/or a good lawyer. I know, I know, just keep looking!

Dear Hillary,
I remain utterly flabbergasted that every week, or it seems that way, you will get another letter from a broken hearted male who has lost another house and several ounces of gold to another young Thai hussy. That is after the buffalo has had its expensive injections to get it on its feet again. Does nobody warn these people that this is the most likely outcome? Perhaps you should have a notice inserted in the Pattaya Mail that Thai women are a wealth hazard!
Browned Off

Dear Browned Off,
You do not say where you came from, but all the western so-called developed countries have their own financial hazards in the men and women stakes. Called divorce settlements and alimony, these are resulting in many men who have lost several houses, cars and been made poor by the women in their own country. In America they are even drawing up “pre-nuptial” agreements as a form of “damage control” to try and quantify and contain the loss on splitting up. Since more than 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce in the western world, that’s a lot of houses out there in the matrimonial maelstrom. I remain absolutely flabbergasted that people such as you protest so loudly your amazement that this happens here, as if it didn’t in your own countries. If you don’t believe me go your local Chicken Pluckers Arms in the UK and take a straw poll of how many men have lost everything but their shirts to some English women. You get off lightly over here. I do also take you to task, branding all Thai/Farang marriage failure females as being hussies. Would you say the same about British women? Or Americans?