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Family Money: Choosing
Wisely
By Leslie
Wright
Last week we started looking at some of the reasons why
one should seek professional help when it comes to personal investment
planning.
Continuing on from the reasons why, let us now look at
some of criteria one should consider when selecting a financial adviser.
First, it is important to establish his bona fides.
What qualifications or experience does he have to offer you financial
advice? Is your advisor working legally - i.e., has a work permit? (Many
do not.)
How long has he been in the financial services’
industry? With that firm? (And with how many others before?) This will
indicate whether you’re dealing with an experienced professional, or one
of the many get-rich-quick merchants who are interested only in this
month’s commission statement but may not be around very long to look
after your longer term interests.
How long has that person lived and worked in Thailand,
Asia, overseas? (This will indicate his/her understanding of local
conditions and clients’ needs and special circumstances.)
A sound firm
Whilst the individual you’re dealing with is a key
consideration, it’s important that you also feel comfortable that the
company behind him is strong and reputable.
Is the firm a legally registered company in Thailand?
(Many are not.) How long has the firm been established?
How many institutions does the firm deal with? It may
surprise you to find that the choice offered by many brokerages is
restricted, in some cases to funds or unit-linked insurance vehicles from
only one or two providers.
The brokerage firm may be independently owned, but one
which has elected to represent or was able to obtain terms-of-business
agreements with only one or two providers, as opposed to having a wide
range of options to offer its clients.
Dealing with only a few institutions will tend to
indicate your adviser is working for a ‘tied’ firm and hence is
restricted in the choices he can make.
He may be able to offer you only a limited range of
investment vehicles or what his firm wants to sell you, as opposed to a
truly independent financial advisor (‘IFA’) who is able to offer you
“best advice” across a wide range of options.
As you would expect, some investment institutions have
a strong record of performance in some markets, but not in others; while
others are recognised for their specialisation in one type of investment
solution or another.
It’s hard to argue against the merits of choosing an
advisory brokerage that offers at least a high degree of independence and
a wide - if not comprehensive - selection of investment vehicles.
It is therefore perfectly proper to ask how many firms
your prospective adviser deals with. (Less than five will restrict the
choices he can make, and thus the degree of “best advice” he can offer
you.)
Then, are these investment institutions large,
internationally-recognised companies located in well-regulated regimes
(which will indicate how secure your investments will be), or firms
you’ve never heard of, located in places where the rules might be more
“relaxed”?
Some brokerages may have negotiated ‘special deals’
with some international institutional investment providers, which they are
able to pass on to the investor, to the latter’s benefit.
Nonetheless, if you’re not an experienced,
sophisticated investor, it is quite possible that you wouldn’t have
heard of the firms your adviser is recommending to you.
That does not necessarily mean they are not perfectly
respectable institutions. But it is perfectly reasonable for you to ask
for further details about that firm, or request their corporate brochure
(which your adviser should be able to provide).
Then, if you still have doubts, either check out the
firm yourself, or ask your adviser what other firms offer similar
vehicles, and go through the same exercise until you are comfortable with
the vehicle he is recommending to you and the firm providing it.
An efficient back-office
It is also important that the administrative backup to
the adviser is efficient and that there’s always someone available for
you to speak to. (Your adviser may be in a closed-door client meeting, but
you may have a pressing concern that needs to be addressed quickly.)
If that person is not able to address your enquiry, how
soon do you receive a call-back or e-mail from your advisor? Did the
response address your concerns adequately?
In most cases, the efficiency of the firm’s
administrative systems will generally only become apparent over time. Once
you’ve been a client for, say, six months or a year, how quickly does
your adviser respond to queries?
How quickly is he/she able to provide you with an
updated valuation on your investments? (In fairness, most brokerages have
to request these from the overseas investment institution, which
nonetheless should not take more than a day or two.)
Is he/she pro-active in arranging regular review
meetings or calling you to let you know how things are doing - especially
if there’s been some bad news on TV or in the press recently about
changing market conditions? Or do you never hear from your adviser after
he/she signed you up for the deal?
Another important consideration is that your financial
adviser should have established contacts with specialists to whom he/she
can refer queries where the nature of your particular needs demand it.
After all, no adviser can be expert in all areas, just as a brain surgeon
may not be very expert in cardiac surgery or pulling teeth - or a GP very
expert at brain surgery.
Assessing your needs
While access to a full range of investment options is
an important factor, an adviser still needs to be able to assess your
personal needs accurately in order to provide the best options for you.
Just like a pharmacy may have a huge stock of pills and
potions to cure a wide range of ailments, from which you can select those
you think might cure you, a doctor will rely on his professional expertise
to prescribe those most appropriate to curing your particular illness.
Similarly, a responsible financial adviser, before
making any recommendations, should fully understand your circumstances and
financial objectives.
This may mean you need to answer a number of questions
about your circumstances and your financial objectives, but this is a
small price to pay to ensure that the adviser’s recommended solution is
the most appropriate for you. Of course, you aren’t obliged to subject
yourself to such an assessment, but it makes sense to do so.
Best advice
A reputable financial adviser’s job boils down to
finding the best offshore products out there and help you select those
that best match your needs, both now and in the future.
Armed with the appropriate information about your
particular needs and circumstances, he can also avoid recommendations that
may not have the risk profile or future flexibility that you need.
He should, in fact, be able to provide an almost
perfect match of investment vehicles to each client’s particular needs
and circumstances.
It sounds an obvious approach to take and it is. But as
with many things, a lot of work goes on behind the scenes in order to
fulfil such a simple philosophy.
Determining ‘best’ in itself is quite a challenging
task. New investment products come onto the market all the time, and last
year’s ‘best’ may not necessarily be this year’s.
Again, having selected the most appropriate vehicle,
the ‘engine’ that drives it - the underlying portfolio - will, just
like a car engine, need servicing and tuning up every so often.
A good financial advisor should therefore arrange
regular meetings with you - at the very least twice a year - to review
both your investment strategy and whether there have been any changes in
your own circumstances. He should also make recommendations as to any
‘switching’ that may be appropriate both to changing market conditions
and your changing needs.
One of the critical aspects of financial planning with
an international outlook is to ensure that you maximise the opportunities
for tax efficiency. Whilst it is always recommended that you seek advice
from your own specialist tax adviser, your financial adviser ought to have
a good understanding of the tax implications of any recommendations he may
make, and ensure that both your current and likely future tax status are
taken into account.
Last but not least is the way your adviser will earn
his money. Many investors don’t like the idea that their investments
will incur any charges at all. But like any other professional, your
financial adviser or broker is entitled to earn money for his services.
After all, do you work for free?
The traditional method has been for the institution to
pay the broker a commission for business placed with them. The accusation
has often been made that the broker will always recommend the vehicle that
pays the most commission. Sadly, in some cases this is true and this has -
rightly, in my view - become a thorny subject throughout the financial
services industry.
But over the years, financial services has become an
increasingly competitive industry, and the rates paid to brokerages
nowadays are very similar from one provider to another.
If the recommended vehicle matches your stated needs
and circumstances, and it carries with it the various bells & whistles
you may have stipulated - or were identified in the course of a detailed
fact-finding discussion - then it is probably the appropriate vehicle for
you, and your adviser will have fulfilled his function of providing you
with ‘best advice’.
The amount his firm and he as an individual earns from
providing that advice then becomes very much a secondary consideration.
Some brokerages have moved to charging a fee for their
services, and foregoing the commissions to the benefit of the client.
While this moves towards greater transparency and does eliminate the cost
of ‘lost’ time when a prospective client does not take up the
adviser’s recommendations, in some cases it could end up costing the
client more than if the brokerage earned only commission.
To ask your prospective adviser how he gets paid
(salary, fees, or commission) is, nonetheless in my view, a perfectly
reasonable question.
And if he does receive commission, whether this will be
paid at the beginning of the relationship, or on an ongoing basis over
time. This will tend to indicate whether he works for you and your best
interests, or him and his firm’s best interests; and how interested he
will be in looking after you, not just now, but for many years to come.
In my view it’s quite in order for you to question
your adviser’s advice. After all, at the end of the day, it is your
money that you are investing - not his; and you have the right to be fully
informed both of the benefits and downside (charges, penalties,
restrictions, risk, etc.).
And if you do not receive clear and satisfactory
answers, you always have the choice to seek a second opinion - just as you
would if your medical doctor diagnosed a serious illness that was going to
require surgery or ongoing treatment that could seriously affect your
lifestyle or your pocket.
Leslie Wright is Managing Director of Westminster
Portfolio Services (Thailand) Ltd., a firm of independent financial
advisors providing advice to expatriate residents of the Eastern Seaboard
on personal financial planning and international investments. If you have
any comments or queries on this article, or about other topics concerning
investment matters, contact Leslie directly by fax on (038) 232522 or
e-mail [email protected].
Further details and back articles can be accessed on his firm’s website
on www.westminsterthailand.com
.
Editor’s note: Leslie sometimes receives e-mails to
which he is unable to respond due to the sender’s automatic return
address being incorrect. If you have sent him an e-mail to which you have
not received a reply, this may be why. To ensure his prompt response to
your enquiry, please include your complete return e-mail address, or a
contact phone/fax number.
The Computer Doctor
by Richard Bunch
Continuing the Windows 2000 theme, this week I’ll
answer a few more general questions that get posed.
Question: How can I synchronise time on my network?
Computer Doctor’s answer: Windows 2000 (Win2K)
uses a time service, known as Windows Time Synchronization Service, to
ensure that all Windows 2000 computers on your network use a common time.
When a client workstation (i.e., a Windows 2000
Professional PC) boots, it contacts a domain controller for
authentication. When the two computers exchange authentication packets,
the client adjusts its local time based on the target (i.e., the domain
controller’s) time. If the target time is ahead of local (i.e., the
client’s) time by less than 2 minutes, the client immediately adjusts
its time to match the target time. If the target time is behind the local
time by less than 2 minutes, the client slows its clock over a period of
20 minutes until the two times are in synch. If the local time is off by
more than 2 minutes, the client immediately sets its time to match the
target time.
Because time synchronization is so critical, the client
periodically verifies that its time is in synchronisation with the
timeserver. By default, the client performs these checks every 8 hours. It
connects to the authenticating domain controller, which is its inbound
time partner, and performs the checks using a strategy that seeks to
attain a convergence wherein the two computers are never more than 2
seconds apart. If the local time strays by more than 2 seconds, the client
checks its time against the authenticating domain controller more often;
in fact, it divides its verifying interval in half, repeating this
division until one of the following conditions is met: 1. The difference
between the local and target is no more than 2 seconds; 2. The interval
reaches its shortest duration (by default, 45 minutes).
When the two computers’ times return to within 2
seconds of each other, the verification interval doubles at each check
until reaching the maximum interval of 8 hours.
Windows Time Synchronization Service uses a
hierarchical relationship that focuses on the PDC Emulator at the root of
the Active Directory (AD) forest. By default, the first domain controller
in a forest acts as the PDC Emulator for the root domain and becomes
authoritative for the entire enterprise; an event that the Event Viewer
logs in the system log as Event ID 62. You’ve probably seen the Event
Viewer filled with Event ID 62 from the source Win32Time. The description
field states, “This Machine is a PDC of the domain at the root of the
forest. Configure to sync from External time source using the net command,
‘net time /setsntp:<server name>’.” In other words, you must
configure the PDC Emulator to recognize an external SNTP timeserver as
authoritative using the Net Time command from the command prompt. Type:
net time /? at the command prompt for the syntax. You can use any of the
following US Naval Observatory SNTP timeservers:
tick.usno.navy.mil at 192.4.41.40
tock.usno.navy.mil at 192.5.41.41
ntp2.usno.navy.mil at 192.5.41.209
The PDC Emulator in each domain uses the PDC Emulator
in its parent domain as the inbound time partner, until we reach the top
of the hierarchy; the root domain. The PDC Emulator in the root of the
forest is the authoritative timeserver, which you should set manually to
synchronize time with an external SNTP time server, as I discussed
earlier.
Remember, SNTP uses UDP port 123 by default. If you
want to synchronize your timeserver with an SNTP server on the Internet,
make sure that this port is available.
Send your questions or comments to the Pattaya Mail at
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, 20260 or Fax to 038 427 596 or
E-mail to [email protected].
The views and comments expressed within this column are not necessarily
those of the writer or Pattaya Mail Publishing.
Richard Bunch is Managing Director of Action Computer
Technologies Co., Ltd. Providing professional information technology and
Internet services which includes custom database and application
development; website design, promotion and hosting; domain name
registration; turnkey e-commerce solutions; computer and peripheral sales
service and repairs, networks (LAN & WAN) and IT consulting. For
further information, please e-mail [email protected]
or telephone/fax 038 716 816 or see our website www.act.co.th
Successfully Yours: Kenneth
Sly
By Mirin MacCarthy
It is perhaps no surprise that a boy from the country ends
up in a garden. Kenneth Sly, Principal of the Garden International School was
born in a small farming community in the North Island of New Zealand at a
little place called Tikorangi.
His parents had a sheep and dairy farm and Ken led an
idyllic country life until he was thirteen. It was at that point, he was sent
to boarding school in New Plymouth. “It was an academic school with the
expectancy to go on to University. It was probably a conflict of intents, as
my parents wanted me to go back to the farm, but I went off to University and
did a degree in agricultural economics and a certificate in veterinary
science.”
At Uni, Ken decided he preferred teaching, so he did a
further year’s teacher training. His first teaching job was at Temuka in the
South Island for a year, followed by a couple of years back in North Island.
“I then decided it was time for the compulsory overseas
trip.” Ken, who is not a person to emphasize his own achievements, belatedly
mentioned that one of the reasons for going to the U.K. was for Olympic
qualifying! He taught and swam in the U.K., and then represented New Zealand
in the 1500 meters swimming at the Munich Olympics in 1972.
Ken was teaching 15 year olds at a tough school in London
when the kids had just been told that the school leaving age had increased
from 15 to 16 years. They were not amused! But to Ken, with his ready laugh
and a way with people, this was only a small challenge. He grinned and said,
“They decided you must be O.K. if you lasted more than one term and when you
started a second year, they were good after that.”
However, life overseas was expensive. “After a couple of
years I decided I had better return home while I still had the airfare.” He
returned to Fielding Agricultural College in NZ’s North Island, where he
taught agricultural science and maths and ran the boarding college, in
addition to coaching the rugby first fifteen. “I ended up staying for
fourteen years. I knew I was in a rut but it was a comfortable rut and I was
enjoying it.”
Eventually he decided it was time for a change of country
again so in 1988 he took a job at St. Alban’s prestigious girls’ school
north of London. “I said I would do it for two years but I ended up staying
seven. It was an interesting job with interesting students. Author Roald
Dahl’s daughters went there. Dahl would arrive in a battered old heap of a
car and I asked him why as his daughters had said he had a better car at home.
He replied, ‘My kids have embarrassed me so much over the years it is my
chance to get back at them.’” Being at a girls’ school, he missed his
rugby, so he became an A grade international rugby referee and refereed games
in France, Spain and Kiev.
Ken then taught in Nantes in France for a year, then at
Kings College in Madrid in Spain for three years. It was a requirement of the
job to be able to pass the GCSE in Spanish by the end of two years, which he
chose deliberately, deciding that fluency in languages was a decided career
advantage.
However, being on track for the school’s principal
position was what brought Ken to Thailand two years ago. Ken is kept fully
occupied overseeing two campuses: Rayong where he spends four days, plus one
or two days in Bangkok.
“When I first arrived I thought, what is this place, what
am I doing here? It’s a sort of Disneyland, with more neon than Times
Square. Though the longer I am here the more enamoured I am of the place and
the people.”
The most important values to Ken are: “Being straight
with people, being honest; trust is important.” His advice to young
teachers, “You have to enjoy people or it will be a miserable life. It is
not a career to choose for the money but it will take you round the world.”
The high points of teaching to Ken are, “To be able to
make a difference is really important. I hope that I have done something for
someone, maybe even contributed to education globally.” His advice to young
school leavers is to study languages. “The whole world is becoming much more
global. To have three languages will put you in a much better position in the
job market.”
When I asked him about his plans for the future, his dry
wit really shone. “I have discovered they don’t put 90 year olds in jail.
So when I’m 90 I want to steal Mercedes, rob banks, do all the sorts of
things I dare not do in my law-abiding life.” He grinned and continued,
“Actually, when I retire I’d love to buy a little bookshop. Staying alive
and active at 88 living above the shop would be ideal.”
Success for Ken is, “Being satisfied that you are
achieving the things you want, though these go through huge degrees of change
during your life.”
Finally you realize that his blueprint for success is just
being Ken Sly. A person with integrity which has made him admired, respected,
content and happy.
Snap Shots: Great
shots for the non-photographer
by Harry Flashman
Sounds a strange title, but this week Harry intends to
show the non-photographer just how he or she can get some great shots,
without knowing anything about f stops or shutter speeds. This week Harry
will show you how to get some great shots with any old camera, be it box
Brownie, or the simplest point and shooter. The trick is in the subject
and how you shoot it.
Regular readers of this column will recognise the
photojournalists creed of “f8 and be there”. For the non-photographer,
your motto is just simply “be there”. Sure there are some “tricks”
but no techo jargon or multiple lens choices. OK?
However, there are some things you have to do for these
great shots and it does involve a little hardship (I’ve lost half the
readers already!) and a little money (probably just lost the other half).
The first hardship is you have to get up at 6 a.m. because we are going to
shoot between 7 and 8 in the morning. The money side isn’t that great -
you have to take a baht bus to Jomtien and buy two rolls of film. Yes, you
are going to use at least two rolls in 60 minutes!
What we are going to do is follow a theme. The
photographs are then all illustrating that theme. Technical brilliance
becomes less important in the individual shots because the person looking
at the pictures is taking in the overall viewpoint. This is true
“editorial” photography, where you, the photographer are illustrating
a story.
The theme I have chosen for you is “Early Morning
Jomtien Beach”. Firstly because there is great light at that time and
secondly because Jomtien Beach is then a wonderful hive of activity as
people get ready for the new day. So instead of the usual “people on a
beach” mid day shots, you are going to end up with the local community
preparing for the day’s activities.
The following subjects are all there for you to shoot
and you should try and get them all. Begin with the monks doing their
morning rounds. You will find the local people offering the monks their
food for the day. Get two shots here - one of the woman giving the food to
him and another of the monk in his robes walking slowly down the street
with his alms bowl.
Next subject should be the beach vendors preparing
their area, raking and collecting rubbish, putting up the umbrellas and
placing the deck chairs. Try to make sure you have the man or woman in the
overall shot. Human interest always appeals. In the early morning at
Jomtien, the sunlight is with you, not against you, so there is no tricky
exposure compensations to be done.
Another of the early morning workers is the street
sweeper. Generally a woman in her bright orange jacket and “native
style” broom. You can get a shot of her from behind, with the wide
expanse of Beach Road stretching away from her.
More workers - the beach boys and the speedboats. There
are several shots here. Firstly take the line of boats and water scooters
being towed slowly to the boat ramps. Again a rear shot of them going away
from you is best, especially if they have the young boys sitting on them,
holding them down! Looking down the road, as the second last trailer in
the string goes past, pop the shutter. That will be a good shot -
guaranteed! Then take one shot of the tractor backing the boats into the
water. Stand about 2 metres from the nose of the tractor to take that
shot.
What else? Kids on motorcycles being taken to school,
Gai Yang BBQ motorcycle kitchens moving to their spot for the day, and
vendors with steamers of crab and prawns moving to their section. Take
these from a car running slowly alongside them and you will again have top
shots.
Mount them all together, and you have Great Shots by
the Non-Photographer!
Modern Medicine: Dosage
alone determines poisoning
by Dr Iain Corness
In the Pattaya Mail recently, in my mate David
Garred’s column, there has been some fairly harsh words printed
regarding the “safety” or otherwise of some of the artificial
sweeteners available over the supermarket counters. Whilst the scientific
data may have been correct in principle, the effects do not necessarily or
absolutely make themselves evident in homo sapiens, the ape that learned
to walk on its hind legs. Us!
A very wise physician, called Paracelsus, came up with
the scientific principal of “Dosage alone determines poisoning”
hundreds of years ago. He was correct and he is still correct. In other
words, some things which may cause adverse effects in high dosages may
actually be quite innocuous or even beneficial in low doses.
Take for example, one of the finest drug entities that
mankind ever found - aspirin - a salicylic acid compound. This drug will
get rid of most headaches and other minor pains, lower raised temperatures
and decrease inflammation. No wonder aspirin has stood the test of time.
However, if you look up scientific texts you will also find that aspirin
can cause gastro-intestinal tract irritation, bronchospasm (asthma),
bleeding into the gut and an increase in bleeding time - and that is in
the higher but still therapeutic doses. Up the dose beyond the therapeutic
and the principal adverse effect can even be death.
So on one hand you have a drug that has saved lives -
and on the other, it has killed people. What was the difference? It was
simply the dosage.
Taking poor old saccharin as another example, this
artificial sweetener was banned in the United States as it was reported to
be cancer producing - and it certainly did. It produced cancer in
laboratory rats at a dosage equivalent to you and I stuffing thousands of
tablets down our throats every day. Fortunately, the scientific world
eventually remembered that man is not a large rat and worked out that we
did not have enough time each day to swallow thousands of saccharin
tablets and removed the cancer producing label.
Another interesting drug is one called ethanol. This
little beauty can cause convulsions, coma and death - and if we forget
about Paracelsus, we should ban it immediately. I would not support the
ban, even though it produces lots of other lingering pathological
conditions as well. I just happen to like a nice wine with my dinner or a
beer after work on a hot day. You see, ethanol is the principal ingredient
of alcohol. In low doses it can lower blood pressure and lessen the risk
of heart attacks - but in high doses causes cirrhosis of the liver as well
as the aforementioned convulsions, coma and death! Once again - dosage
alone determines poisoning.
So even though I do agree with the principal that
“natural” in most cases is better, I do not on the other hand believe
that popping an artificial sweetener in one’s tea today will lead to
Alzheimer’s Disease tomorrow, next week or even in the next three
decades.
But then, I always did take sugar!
 Dear
Hillary,
When we go to the beach every Sunday, our day is
spoiled by the never ending stream of beach vendors all trying to sell
bolts of material, food, sunglasses, inflatable toys, model airplanes,
massages or nail polish. What can be done about them? Surely the person in
charge of the area could tell them to go, but it doesn’t seem to stop
them. Have you the answer to this problem?
Browned off on the beach
Dear Browned off,
Hillary agrees with you. These vendors are pests.
However, if you have transport, then select a beach further down towards
Bang Saray, Rayong way. The vendors can’t trudge that far down. Mind
you, there’s no-one to bring you an ice cream either!
Dear Hillary,
Where do you suggest we go with visitors to take in
live music in Pattaya? There seems to be plenty of places that have disco
music, but where are the live performers?
Music Buff
Dear Music Buff,
You neglect to say what kind of music you want. There
are plenty of live bands (Hillary carefully does not use the words “live
shows”) in town. Henry J Beans at the top end of Pattaya Beach Road,
Tony’s Entertainment complex in Walking Street, Star Music (next to King
Seafood) and TW1 also in Walking Street, The Moon River Pub in North Road,
Shenanigans Irish Pub and the Green Bottle Pub are both on 2nd Road, and
the Jazz Pit of the PIC Kitchen on Soi 5 has live music Fridays and
Saturdays, Planet Rock Soi Pattayaland 2 on Thursday nights, so there’s
plenty to try. Depends on what type of music you like, Petal. There’s
everything there from jazz to headbangers. Up to you.
Dear Hillary,
The other evening my husband of 20 years called me a
bitch with no provocation from me at all. I decided to teach him a lesson,
and slept in the spare room that night and now I am thinking of leaving
him. He just laughs and shrugs it off when I ask him about it. What is
your opinion, Hillary?
Extremely Annoyed
Dear Annoyed,
Perhaps if you bark at him again you will get the
answer.
Dear Hillary,
I am beginning to think the lyrics in the old song
“if You Wanna Be Happy for the Rest of Your Life, Never Make a Pretty
Woman Your Wife” are right on the money. On one hand, I am the luckiest
guy in the world to have such a caring, intelligent, and incredibly
gorgeous girlfriend. I mean she is a complete knock-out - a perfect 10.
But, on the other hand, that is causing me many headaches living here in
Pattaya. As you know, most men come here with one thing on their mind.
And, no matter where we go in this town, there are always a slew of
pot-bellied, follically-challenged middle-aged swine completely and
unabashedly leering and ogling at my girlfriend. Their lecherous eyes
stare at her as if she were a piece of meat on sale at the South Pattaya
Market, and some go so far as to say lewd comments or use their worst
pick-up lines on her. The worst part is their complete lack of respect and
tact. They act as if I am not even there. I would never think of staring
at a woman the way they do to her, especially if I see she has a boyfriend
or husband. I think they feel that since there are lots of bar-girls
around town they can treat any woman like that here. I have to do
everything I can to restrain myself from punching their lights out. I wish
I could go to their country and stare at their poor wives and girlfriends
that they have left back home for their trip of adulterous debauchery here
in Pattaya with the same sort of lust in my eyes as they have when gaping
at my girlfriend. I wonder what their reaction would be? Probably they
have as much respect for their wives and girlfriends back home as they
have for the women here. What do you suggest? Should I just do my best to
ignore these Neanderthals, or should I start learning Muay Thai and give
them a good kick in the Ass? Thanks a lot!
The Dude
Dear Dude,
You are a troubled little poppet, aren’t you? You
certainly are hanging onto some pent-up aggression. If it’s not punching
their lights out, it’s a right proper kicking in the ass. Hillary
wonders why you are so insecure with this relationship? Surely you are
better looking than the pot bellied balding lechers, so why worry? And why
would you waste time and money to go over and look at their
wives/girlfriends when you have this “10” right here? I wonder if the
problem isn’t the ogling, it’s the fact that you are being ignored?
Lighten up, puff out your chest and be proud of this gorgeous girl - or
you will lose her and end up with a barker. Of course, then you won’t
have to worry about the oglers. To help you out, Hillary was once thought
of as an “8”, so if your “10’s” too much, you can always ring me
- if you have a Lamborghini to take me round the place.
GRAPEVINE
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Clear as mud
Manchester grandmother Hettie Worthington,
62, is returning home a disappointed tourist after failing to take the
mud baths in Trat which she believed might halt the ageing process.
Friends persuaded her that it would be foolhardy to go as there are
poisonous bacteria and much worse to be found in the black stained
river beds. Instead, Hettie took a series of expensive facial
treatments at a Pattaya clinic which were designed to obliterate
numerous crows’ feet and sagging bags under the eyes. After six
sessions, Hettie could see no improvement and departed for the airport
in a huff. A spokeswoman for the clinic said, “We are sorry Mrs
Worthington is upset, but we did advise her that best results could be
achieved only if she agreed to remove her glasses during treatment.”
Nowt so queer
Tourist police and an embassy representative
were called to a bar in Soi Yodsak after a nasty quarrel broke out
between two Europeans with different acquired tastes. One was enjoying
a drink with his longstanding girlfriend of about half an hour when a
fellow national entered the bar and sat down with his devoted
boyfriend whom he had just met on the Beach Road. This frightful
display of sexual openness offended the first guy, thought to be a
right winger, who pointed out that the first two people mentioned in
the bible were Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve. A brief missile
fight then ensued, which was ended by the timely intervention of the
fuzz who preached the doctrine of tolerance and fair play. Both
farangs were then arrested after failing to agree which one of them
should pay 9,000 baht for damage to a grandfather clock and a bar
mirror.
Shopper’s paradise
TOPS, the new superstore at the junction of
Second Road and Pattaya Klang, has made a big bang impression amongst
farang visitors and residents. Especially to be noticed are the better
than usual selection of imported cheeses (at a price) and some hunky
looking fresh fruit and vegetables. Prices for the more mundane
washing powder, insect repellents and tinned pet food generally
compare favorably with their mainline competitors (though you have to
check item by item to be sure). Grapevine will be making spot price
checks at all the major stores in coming weeks. TOPS has some
innovative marketing ideas and deserves to do well. However, the aisle
saleslady promoting shampoos and hair conditioners need not spend
quite so long trying to convince totally bald men which brand they
should try next. Avoid rush hours, by the way, if you want to avoid
some very long vehicle jams at the traffic lights.
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Tourist arrivals up and down
International tourist arrivals for the first
half of this year reached 4.68 million, up 11.6% from the same period
last year. Leading the way were those from Malaysia, Singapore and
Japan whilst visitors from Britain again headed the European brigade,
closely followed by the Germans. But many Pattaya bar owners and
hoteliers say that the year 2000 has been poorer for them than 1999.
This may be borne out by a survey conducted by a major travel industry
newspaper which gives some reasons why Pattaya is not being favored so
much right now by Europeans. Lack of pristine beaches and noise and
traffic pollution head the list of gripes, followed by high prices
(the Euro and the UK pound are currently in trouble for example) and
the resort’s sleazy reputation. A handful of those sampled added
they were now avoiding Pattaya because of police clean up campaigns.
Er, sorry, would you repeat that please?
The final journey
Reader HG asks whether you can buy a coffin
in Pattaya in advance of your own demise. Absolutely, yes! You can buy
anything here. The cheapest one weighs in at around 2,000 baht and the
most expensive golden-teak type is quoted at 800,000 baht, an unhappy
coincidence as this is precisely the amount you need in the bank to
obtain a retirement visa. If you need extra features such as
refrigeration, glass top or push button emergency exit, you will have
to dig even deeper into your pocket. People weighing more than 130
kilos are advised to make a special outsize order. HG asks where he
could keep the coffin as he lives in a small bungalow and does not
want to offend guests. We raised this point with funeral director
Pornthep Suriyasanee who has been making great strides with coffins
for over thirty years. He suggested HG could always sleep in it on a
temporary basis until permanent occupation is appropriate.
Visa round up
Our latest information is that single entry
Thai tourist visas are not currently a problem in Penang, Vientiane or
Phom Penh. Double entries round the Pacific Rim Thai consulates are
still a no-no for most guys and gals. Non immigrant visas are still
problematical unless you can convince the consulate you have a Thai
dependant and enough cash reserves to pay your way. Or have clear
documentation that you are about to apply for a work permit (your word
that you are about to do so is not good enough). If you are European
or American, you can do much better back in the old country. Multiple
entry visas, with availability up to one year, are available if you
show evidence you have the cash to live out here. The Thai Foreign
Ministry takes the view that you should go back to your own country to
take advantage of the liberal visa regulations. Farangs who simply
exit and re-enter through a country adjoining Thailand have to expect
closer monitoring in case they are illegally working.
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Dining Out: American
food in an Irish pub?
by Miss Terry Diner
O’cajunally on Saturdays!
It has been said that you can get every type of cuisine in
Pattaya, but it appears that live-wire publican Kim Fletcher of Shenanigans
Irish Pub (formerly Delaney’s) is trying to present them all under the one
roof!
When Kim rang and invited the Dining Out Team to his new
“Cajun” Night we happily accepted the offer. After all, we had already
sampled his Carvery (Thursday, Friday, Sunday), his Pasta Night
(Tuesday) and the Tex-Mex Night (Wednesday), and we hadn’t had a bad
meal yet!
Miss Terry and Madame were met by waitress “Beautiful” at
the foot of the (now) Shenanigans’ steps and escorted to our “sampling”
table. And sampling was to be the name of the game. There are several Cajun
items on offer, so we had already decided we would try a little of everything.
Kim explained that he felt he needed to supply some American
style food for the large American ex-pat population, and one of the most popular
genres was the Southern Cajun. He had his Pattaya chefs trained by the famous
American chef, Chef Riley in Bangkok. The end result was Shenanigans Gumbos,
Jambalayas and Couskali.
The actual dining area of Shenanigans really does not need
much description, though it has been slightly changed since the Delaney’s
days. However, the comfortable dark wood chairs and tables are still all there,
as are the linen napkins. There are still the three main dining areas also, so
you can either sit and watch the large screen TV, or the small screen TV or be
totally secluded away from it all in the comfy back corner.
The concept of the Cajun Night is again another of the All
You Can Eat deals, with 315 baht being the price for the Saturday
evening’s Cajun offering. But let’s talk about the food. There are two types
of rice - steamed white rice and the jambalaya, which is a type of
“stir-fried” rice, with seafood and spices all redolent of its New Orleans
historical background. The Gumbos are both fish and chicken, the traditional
thick “soupy” dishes. There are also “poullets” which are a type
of fish ball and a fish fillet. Another interesting dish was the Couskali
- a type of hot fish “curry” or gumbo. To go with all these Cajun items
there is a salad bar with a potato salad and two dressings (vinaigrette and 1000
Island).
 With a wine for Madame and Miss Terry’s usual Singha Gold
(good memory that lad Kim) under our belts we ventured to the chef. First up I
decided to try the jambalaya. Immediately when you pop some into your mouth you
get the spicy flavour coming into the nose. It was actually quite a delicate
dish, with prawns liberally sprinkled through the rice, and not too spicy hot
either.
Next up was the Couskali. This had large chunks of
fish in a rich thick tomato based sauce, and, as Kim had warned me - was hot! It
needed a couple of quick gulps of beer to quieten that one; however, it was a
very nice tasting dish, and one that I would go back for again (and did)!
Madame tried both the chicken and fish gumbos and remarked on
the totally different tastes that the Cajun cuisine could produce in them.
The fish balls I felt were quite bland - but the snapper
fillet was excellent. No bones (I hate bones!) and very tasty. That was another
dish I could also take more of (and did)! With these, I took the salad bar’s
lettuce, capsicum and onion with liberal vinaigrette, which was first class.
With this new offer, Shenanigans should be able to attract
those who have been hankering after Cajun cuisine. It may not be for everyone -
but there’s always the a la carte menu if your partner isn’t in the
mood! Well worth a try.
Shenanigans Irish Pub, Pattaya Second Road, underneath the
Royal Garden Resort Terrace Restaurant, phone (038) 710 641.
Animal Crackers:
Bilbies are rabbit eared bandicoots
by Mirin
MacCarthy
Bilbies, or rabbit eared bandicoots, are attractive
little marsupials with long rabbit-like ears and beautiful silky blue-grey
fur and long well furred tails.
The black and white tail, with its brush-like tip, is
crested throughout its length and is carried like a stiff banner during the
cantering gait. Australian natives, these cute little creatures once
inhabited 3 quarters of the mainland. A hundred years ago, Bilbies were
common in many habitats throughout Australia, from the dry interior to
temperate coastal regions, but are now restricted to a few northwestern
desert regions and arid mulga and spinafex grasslands.
Bilbies are fast disappearing because of habitat changes
and introduced predators, especially foxes. Aborigines and white men alike
hunted bilbies for their fur in earlier times. Then the foxes, introduced in
an attempt to eradicate the likewise imported rabbit menace, completed the
devastation.
Today the species is nationally listed as vulnerable.
Even though researchers throughout Australia are working to ensure the bilby
does not become the next victim to predators and competitors, today it is
more probable that you will see these appealing little animals in zoos
rather than in their native wild.
Bilbies have strong little forelegs and long sensitive
noses, which help them sniff out and dig up spiders, insects, insect larvae,
bulb and fruit. Although suffering from poor vision, its sense of hearing
and smell is acute and of primary importance in locating food.
They also dig resting and nesting burrows that can be up
to 2 meters deep. Bilbies rest in their burrows during the day to avoid the
desert heat and emerge at night to forage.
As expected with a burrowing animal, the pouch opens
backwards to keep dirt out of their baby’s face. Early farmers would watch
the bilbies digging burrows to see if the earth throw out was damp. Many a
site for a well was found in this way.
They are not aggressive and usually live alone, although
a couple or two females will occasionally share a burrow. In captivity they
will snuggle together and can be tamed with gentle handling.
If there is sufficient food they can breed throughout the
year and are able to produce up to four litters of two young each year. The
young live inside the pouch for eleven weeks and then they are suckled
inside the burrow for a further two weeks.
No one is sure of their lifespan in the wild but in
captivity they live up to seven years.
Bilbies are protected today and measures are being taken
in captive breeding. It is to be hoped that this research will eventually
allow it to be re-established over its some of its former range.
Down The Iron Road:
‘Garratts’ - The Champion Artics-2
by John D.
Blyth
The Garratt in America – South of Panama
This week we continue our look at the Garratt locomotive,
worldwide.
South America, unlike the North, was quite a big user of
Garratts. Durrant, in his book “Garratt Locomotives of the World”,
lists 168 such locomotives on 29 railways in seven countries. I can only
invite readers to look with me at a few of the more interesting ones. One
oddity that will emerge is the number of types with four-coupled wheels on
each motor bogie. The Argentine North Eastern and Entre Rios lines shared a
design for 4-4-2+2-4-4 locomotives following some initial success with
2-6-0+0-6-2s on their standard gauge tracks.
 In
Brazil, the Leopold in a Railway operated these 4-coupled Garratts on Branch
lines with extreme severity of curvature; built as late as 1943.
In Brazil, the Leopoldina Railway obtained a batch of
2-4-2+2-4-2 Garratts, to operate on a line where only four-coupled engines
were allowed due to curves of 30 metres radius – and 3% gradients – both
imposing their own needs and restrictions. The adaptable Garratt system
allowed the attractive locomotives shown to be supplied. Also in Brazil, the
Sao Paulo line ordered three 2-4-0+0-4-2 engines for the lightly laid
coastal section of the 5 ft. 3 in. gauge system; these were used to shuttle
1,000 ton trains along the short section they were used on, making up to
eight round trips daily.
 Chilean
Nitrate Railways used these heavy and powerful locomotives on a very
difficult section on the approach to the Andes; they worked from 1926 to
1959.
The Sao Paulo also had some “express Garratts”,
supplied in 1927 as 2-6-2+2-6-2s; within four years they were being rebuilt
with a four-wheeled truck front and rear, officially to augment the water
capacity. This expensive alteration for such a reason is hard to understand,
as speeds up to 60 mph were regularly attained and one suspects that there
was some unsteadiness at speed. As modified they lasted until 1950, when
electrification took place.
In Chile, the Nitrate Railways standard gauge lines had
some fearsome grades to surmount, on the 19.5 mile line inland from Queue,
which in that short distance rises no less than 3,000 ft. For this, Beyers
provided three Garratts, 2-8-2+2-8-2s with wheels only 3 ft. 6 in. diameter;
they were, at the time of building, the most powerful locomotives in the
southern hemisphere. They remained in service until 1959.
 The
Sao Paulo Railway in Brazil also had some “Express Garratts”; they were
soon to be modified with a four, instead of a two-wheeled truck fore and
after, for smoother riding and less track damage.
The Central Railway of Peru is the “second highest”
of the Andean lines, reaching a summit at 15,806 ft. above the sea. For the
1 in 22 grades which are involved, Beyers provided a total of four very
powerful eight-coupled Garratts. As they could haul trains of greater length
than the spur lines on the “zigzag” sections, much shunting was involved
at each reversal. They were seen in store at Chosica in 1966, but no date of
withdrawal or scrapping is available.
 State
Railway of Thailand obtained some Garratts from Henschel of Germany in two
batches in the ‘20s and ‘30s for a very steep section on the approach to
Khorat. No 457 is seen at Makkasan Works in Bangkok, before removal in the
70s to Kanchanaburi.
The extensive 3 ft. 0 in. rail system in Colombia long
remained faithful to the Kitson-Meyer type, but in 1924 the then FC del
Pacifico bought two unusual 4-6-0+0-6-4 Garratts built by Armstrong
Whitworth. Another pre-nationalisation line, the FC del Dorado obtained two
Pacific & Garratts from Beyers, but neither line obtained any more such
engines.
The Garratt in Asia
The few Garratts on the Burma Railways have been noted in
connection with their unusual compound specimen, but a very dinky little
0-6-0+0-6-0 was supplied as early as 1913 to the 2 ft. 6 in. gauge
Buthidaung – Maungdaw Tramway. They were very similar to the first African
Garratt for the Congo Mayumbe line.
Thailand (then Siam) obtained a total of six Garratts in
two batches, for working the steep line between Kaeng Khoi and Pak Chong,
part of the original line to Khorat, finally opened in 1900. They were
supplied by Henschel of Germany, and as wood burners could not realise their
potential. One is preserved, for long at Makkasan works, but now near
Kanchanaburi station.
Malaya almost had Garratts to work coal trains from the
mains at Batu Arang. There would have been rebuilds using the chassis of a
pair of “S” Class 4-6-2s, with a new and large boiler. The mines did not
succeed as was hoped, and this may have put an end to this plan.
In India, the Bengal – Nagpur Railway was the main user
of Garratts, including some unusual 4-8-0+0-8-4s – all for the 5 ft. 6 in.
gauge, but the Assam- Bengal had some smaller ones for their metre gauge
line. Only the use of poppet valves on some types was unusual. The broad
gauge lines in Ceylon, and the 2 ft. gauge lines of Nepal were also
Garratt-users in a modest way.
The Garratt in Australasia
In Tasmania the government railways had a pair of unusual
4 cylinder 4-4-2+2-4-4 Garratts on their 3 ft. 6 in. gauge lines. Smooth
riding and fast, they achieved speeds greater than the track would stand. A
serious derailment for this reason, in 1916, led them to be transferred to
other work.
The New South Wales Govt. Railway was a coal-heaving
line, with big 4-8-2s, but it did not come to use Garratts until too late,
when diesel interests were very active. The AD60s were all that a modern
Garratt ought to be, with cast-steel beds for all three units, modern
cylinder design, etc. They worked “double-headed” – i.e. two
locomotives to one train, and with a third (not a Garratt) “banking” at
the rear, some sight and sound!
Just over 100 Garratts were used in Australia, and in
addition 65 were designed and built locally for wartime use. The latter
deserve special mention, and I will note them again next week, as well as
the solitary New Zealand design.
Woman’s World: I
want hair like...
by Lesley Warner
How many times do we sit in the hairdressers looking at
magazines trying to imagine ourselves with a particular hairstyle? It’s no
good trying to copy your favourite film star either. One day we will be able
to look at ourselves on a computer and try them all out, but unfortunately
not at the moment. I suppose you could try different wigs but after seeing
the wigs available in Pattaya I wouldn’t advise it. So the next best thing
is to try these options and decide which styles suit your type of hair and
face?
If your hair is thin and fine, keep it short and fluffy;
heavy or thick, keep it at a medium length or it will not hang well. Medium
or coarse can handle most styles and an oval shape can wear any style.
Bobbed, layered, close, full, long or short, just about any style will suit
this balanced shape.
The aim with a round face is to create an oval appearance
and lift the face. Bring the sides close to the face and increase height at
the crown. If you don’t want long hair, close sideburn wisps soften and
flatter the face. Avoid a neat bob with a fringe. Avoid the tied back style;
it makes the face look rounder.
With a square face you need to soften the edges of your
face by directing soft wavy bangs down over your temples. A style with the
hair just below the chin is pretty on a square face. Draw the attention away
from the jaw with a diagonal fringe forward from the hairline and around the
ears. If you wear your hair up, leave a few wispy bits to soften the chin,
or try long loose hair with a bit of bounce below chin level.
A heart shape face needs a softer, curlier style. A chin
length look is perfect; try to create width around your narrow chin. All you
need to do is avoid a heavy slab of fringe that will make your face into a
triangle. Side slanted bangs draw attention away from the jaw line. Your
hair will look best either piled to the top and back of your head, to
balance the chin, or hanging loose to hide it. A large nose needs a short,
fluffy style - anything sleek or straight will only over emphasize it.
Go for width and volume with a rectangle shaped face.
Short styles, including the wedge design, or long manes in a full style that
falls to or above the shoulder look great for this shape face. Bangs look
good when just touching the brows and help to shorten a long shaped face.
A long, thin face with a narrow chin is oblong. A short,
perky bob will go very nicely with your kind of looks. It should be short at
the back and the angled chin length in the front. Wearing it with a side
parting, with bangs brushed to the side, rounds out an oblong face. A longer
bob, about five cm below the chin, will also look good on this kind of face.
Layered hair will not suit you at all. Long hair, too, makes the face seem
longer.
For a narrow chin, the best look is a rounded shape with
fullness at the bottom. Wide wispy bangs help to create an oval look. The
classic look for you is a graduated bob that falls to the chin. Try a wispy
design to soften the edges.
For the pear shape face, focus on a full crown at the top
to create symmetry with the wide jaw. Layered shaggy styles flatter the pear
shape face. Tuck the hair behind your ear so as to not draw attention to
your cheeks. Short hair is better if it does not pass the neckline.
To answer the enquiries on ‘Jungle Roses’, a name
conjured up by me, any rose will do the trick!
Copyright 2000 Pattaya Mail Publishing Co.Ltd.
370/7-8 Pattaya Second Road, Pattaya City, Chonburi 20260, Thailand
Tel.66-38 411 240-1, 413 240-1, Fax:66-38 427 596; e-mail: [email protected] |
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